Where to go from here

[adnyp]

After returning from vacation I inadvertenly put a pair of my panties in the laundry alonw with my other underwear. My very straight wife, who might or might not suspect, washed them and put them in my underwear drawer, but never said a word.

My question now is "What do I do next"

[Kieron Andrew]

nothing.....do nothing.....if she suspects anything in my experience she WILL approach it, thats GGs for you, on the other hand if she starts to act out of character then best to come clean

[Shelly Preston]

Well the fact that she put them in your underwear drawer is a good start

As long as she does not think they belong to someone else

Or you will have to explain and soon

[KateLongman27]

nothing.....do nothing.....if she suspects anything in my experience she WILL approach it, thats GGs for you, on the other hand if she starts to act out of character then best to come clean

I have to agree with Kieron on this one, discretion is a better part of valour on this one. Unless she starts to question you, then you're going to have to sit her down and tell her and explain why you do what you do!

[Melissa A.]

So far, it might be a message, letting ya know she found 'em. No way of knowing if that's good or bad. Keep yer mouth shut, I'd say. Unless she comments or hints that she thinks you're cheating. I think it's better to admit your'e a crossdresser than to let her think your'e having an affair, but of course I think that!:happy:

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[swiss_susan]

Well on the plus side if she thought they were someone else's, I am sure she would have let you know. :Angry3:

In this case I would give it time to see if she brings it up.

Susan

[Jennaie]

An interesting situation your in here. I think I would wear them and throw them back in the laundry basket. If they end up in your drawer again, buy more.:D

[Nigella]

An interesting situation your in here. I think I would wear them and throw them back in the laundry basket. If they end up in your drawer again, buy more.:D

:heehee: What a wonderful idea. not many wives would have done what adnyp's wife did. I think if it had been Sandra in this situation all hell would have broken loose.

Certainly seems a good ice breaker, but then again so is a sledge hammer. Play it by ear adnyp, you are in the best position to judge what is right and when.

[samantha#1]

Perhaps not saying anything and putting the knickers in your drawer is your wife's way of letting you know that she is aware of your dressing. If she suspected that you were cheating on her and the knickers belonged to another woman I would have thought that you would have known about that very quickly. Where do you want to take things next? If you want to come out to your wife perhaps you could wear them to bed (during an intimate moment etc) and see how things go. All the best and lots of hugs to you.
Samantha

[Yes I am]

Thank her for washing, folding and putting away your underwear. It was awfully sweet of her, after all.

[EricaCD]

OK, I will go ahead and venture a dissenting opinion here. You need to in some way confirm to your wife that these are yours. Did it occur to you that having found a pair of women's undies in with your clothes, your wife might be thinking that you are having an affair? Or draw some other conclusion other than that you are a CD?

It is not fair to you to force HER to do the discovering. Did it occur to you that she might be agonizing right now over what to ask you? And that she might not have access to the resources that you do to open this topic constuctively?

If I am coming across a bit harshly here, it's the voice of experience. Due to my carelessness my wife found some of my fem clothes several years ago. Thank god she confronted me, because she was sure I was having an affair. And it took her several days to work up the guts to ask me. When I think about the pain that I (unknowingly) caused her during those days, it makes me sick to my stomach.

This is not a time for a cutesy "thank you" or to wear the same undies again for her to launder. This is a time to talk. Now.

Good luck!
Erica

[JD Jade Dream GG]

Yay Erica!
I whole-heartedly agree.

[Jodi Lynn]

I too agree with Erica. When my wife found a bre of mine she confornted me right away and I confessed to her about Jodi. It wasn't the best way for her to find out, but that is how she did.

[Yes I am]

OK, I will go ahead and venture a dissenting opinion here. You need to in some way confirm to your wife that these are yours. Did it occur to you that having found a pair of women's undies in with your clothes, your wife might be thinking that you are having an affair? Or draw some other conclusion other than that you are a CD?

It is not fair to you to force HER to do the discovering. Did it occur to you that she might be agonizing right now over what to ask you? And that she might not have access to the resources that you do to open this topic constuctively?

If I am coming across a bit harshly here, it's the voice of experience. Due to my carelessness my wife found some of my fem clothes several years ago. Thank god she confronted me, because she was sure I was having an affair. And it took her several days to work up the guts to ask me. When I think about the pain that I (unknowingly) caused her during those days, it makes me sick to my stomach.

This is not a time for a cutesy "thank you" or to wear the same undies again for her to launder. This is a time to talk. Now.

Good luck!
Erica


I don't think showing one's gratitude necessarily has to be "cutesy." And I agree, it is unacceptable to keep one's dressing a secret from one's SO, no ifs, ands or buts. I would argue, however, that thanking one's sweety for doing the wash would be a nice way to segue into discussing the articles of clothing in quesion and how they pertain to the individual to whom they do belong.

[Sheila]

adnyp,
You could always just ask her why ? she put them in your drawer. I sure as heck wouldn't have put his/her panties in his drawer before I found out about his cding -------- I would have drawn the conclusion that he had been having an affair cos lets face it what other conclusion could I have drawn :eek: :D :D sounds like she hasn't drawn that conclusion
jess(so)

[KateW]

I wonder if she wanted to talk about it, she would have already. I think she might be waiting for you to approach her on the subject, or see if anything else turns up in the wash.

[great gg]

i heartily agree too.

Quote This is not a time for a cutesy "thank you" or to wear the same undies again for her to launder. This is a time to talk. Now.

Good luck!
Erica[/QUOTE]

[happyroman]

My wife found my bra in the back of a filing cabinet and knowing my wife the way I do I know she does not understand because I have aproached the subject before about TV programs she is very much against it so I told her it was from a women at work who I tried to have an affair with and then broke it off and she put it in my truck. I am still paying for that one. Not one of my better ideas
Carol Jones

[tekla west]

Erica is right, you best start talking now. Of course you should have done it years ago, but.....

[Sandra]

Talk to her, because inside she could be tearing herself apart.

[Laura Jane]

After returning from vacation I inadvertenly put a pair of my panties in the laundry alonw with my other underwear. My very straight wife, who might or might not suspect, washed them and put them in my underwear drawer, but never said a word.

My question now is "What do I do next"


Depends if they are obviously Female panties!

If so perhaps the fact you came back from holiday and these were in you laundry may lead your wife to suspect another woman and crossing dressing will be the last thing on her mind.

[KrazyKat]

AWW, and she could be playing ostrich, as I did for a year or so!!
"NO, Don't wanna know!"

Once I found out everything, it wasn't as bad as I thought!!
That was just my experience, however.

Kat

[fionasboots]

.. I think you should tell also.

I tried dropping subtle hints, I really think a pair of panties is waaaayyyyy beyond subtle and it would be best to come clean so at least your wife is not worrying about something she has imagined as opposed the reality which may be more of a relief for her.

Also from a selfish point of view you really do need to know where you stand! Is she just biding her time until she gets the lawyers and files for divorce? Is she plotting revenge?

I can only tell you what happened when I came clean; it was pretty nasty ... but we are still together and at least the secret is gone now, and that is some sort of relief.

It's too late now, come clean and limit any damage that may have been done.