Masculine internal resistance

[AmandaM]

Don't know what else to call it. I used to be pretty good at the whole cding thing. Even pass. Then, over time, resistance seemed to build. Did it scare me? Was I afraid cause I feel I may be TS? Did I mentally run for the hills? Anyway, over time, I needed to work out to relieve my stress, then my stress caused me to eat too much. I'm not too fat now, but I have a little too much muscle for a CDer and the gut doesn't help. Now, I get upset cause I've lost my girlish figure and can't be really fem! It's like a vicious circle. I've overcome the need to purge. But can't seem to get back in shape. So, I sit in a no-man's land, neither male nor female. Good at neither. Does this sound familiar? How did you overcome your fear and resistance?

[KarenSusan]

I walk about 4 miles a day, seven days a week and eat only one meal a day. You will lose weight but this is probably unhealthy and I do not recommend it.

[AmberTG]

I was like that for a few years, I was driven to CD but I had real self-acceptance problems. I 've wanted to be a girl sense my teens, but I went through a lot of ups and downs because of the guilt and self-loathing that came with it. I started seeing a therapist at the local VA center to work on my depression issues and, lo and behold, the clinical depression is the result of repressing my gender identity issues for 35 years because I thought they were wrong, I had no idea how common that GID really is in people. I discovered that I'm not sick, I'm just different from "normal".
I guess what I'm getting at is that you are probably repressing something in yourself that you can't get rid of and now you have to face it again. You can get back into shape, but look at all the women you see in your age catagory and take your cues from the way they look and dress, nothing wrong with looking your age, as long as you don't get frumpy.

[Satrana]

First of all you have to resolve all your guilt and shame issues. Finally accept in you heart and mind that crossdressing is a normal thing which humans do. Once you fully accept it is normal then many other issues fade away.

Secondly do not get caught up in stereotypes. Just as you wish to avoid the standard male role, don't think you need to jump into a stereotypical female role and look. So what if you are a few pounds overweight. That has nothing to do with expressing femininity. Don't fall into the beauty trap. You can CD no matter what shape you are. Don't deny yourself the self-expression and fun of crossdresssing just because you are out of shape. BTW when you do start dressing again, the desire to fit into that sexy dress you want is just the type of motivation you need to make the right lifestyle changes.

[sandra-leigh]

I walk about 4 miles a day, seven days a week and eat only one meal a day. You will lose weight but this is probably unhealthy and I do not recommend it.

For some people that diet would be very unhealthy.

Some people's body overproduce insulin in response to eating sugars (and I include complex sugars in that). For them, eating one meal a day would put a massive sugar spike into their system, that would be over "burned" by their insulin, potentially resulting in a dangerously low blood sugar; even if it did not spike to the danger level, the bloodstream would likely become low on sugar during the day. For such people, the recommendation is to eat small regular portions of complex carbohydrates (e.g., starches, including possibly beans and the like); these take longer times to break down and so provide the necessary sugar but without the insulin spike.

The condition I describe is known as hypoglycemia, and the symptoms of it can range from minor to severe, including life-threatening. (It is sometimes referred to as "the opposite of diabetes" -- and it can be just as dangerous if ignored.)

[Eugenie]

I'm not too fat now, but I have a little too much muscle for a CDer and the gut doesn't help. Now, I get upset cause I've lost my girlish figure and can't be really fem!

Well, being a little on the plump side has its advantages too... In my case it really helps my cleavage See here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28488) what I mean on the post dated 05-02-2006, about two third down on the thread...

A push up bra works better if there is some flesh around your chest, even though they aren't real breasts, the illusion can be rather convincing...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Marla S]

I am with Satrana here.

You get trouble with yourself denying your feminie aspects.
It's not a solution to hunt for the "women's stereotype" though, because you have to deny your masculine aspects this way. They have a right to live too, and will tell you. You run into the same trap if you deny your masculine aspects yourself, as if your femine aspects are denyed by the society.
Both can cause shame and guilt feelings, because your either opponent to the society's sterotypes (feminne aspects) or opponent to your own stereotypes (masculine aspects).
The trick is to integrate both aspects in one personality.

[JenniferMint]

I used to be pretty good at the whole cding thing. Even pass. Then, over time, resistance seemed to build. Did it scare me? Was I afraid cause I feel I may be TS? Did I mentally run for the hills?

I never particularly cared for my male identity, so it wasn't a problem for me.

For example, I got my eyebrows waxed. They probably look weird for a guy but whatever. It does help that I moved a few months ago and am living in a city where no one knows me as a guy, though.

[ronda]

when i was pulled out of the closet and addmitted that i was a cross dresser i became comfortable with myself and even began to like myself as i am not as others wanted me to be iam what i am alot of that stupid stuff stopped the internal upset went away IAM A MAN THAT LOVES TO CROSS DRESS. hope this is of some help to you :hugs: :hugs: :happy: :2c:

[ChristineRenee]

Hi Amanda,

I 'll just echo some of the same things that have already been said. Integrate both the male and female aspects of you into one personality. Don't buy into the stereotypes of what either gender is "expected" to be by society. The female side of you doesn't make you less of a man and conversely, being a genetic male doesn't mean you can't have feminine qualities or express them. The important thing is to be who you are...be true to yourself...and don't let guilt and shame enter into your thinking. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing, and it should be a fun, stress relieving activity.

Understand who you are, accept who you are, and finally, embrace who you are. The PERSON...the HUMAN BEING. Be the best YOU that you can be. That's what's really important when all is said and done.:hugs:

[renee k]

Hi Amanda,

I'm with the all the other girls here. Accept yourself for who you are, be the person on the outside that you are on the inside,take pride in yourself. So what if your a little overweight, that can be changed with some excercise, it doesn't have be to going to the gym everyday. Just get out and walk stay active. Just eat smart,thats all you need to do. When I started dressing in my early twenties I was 150 lbs. and 5'10. Now I'm in my mid fifties 5'9 and 180lbs. It's a struggle for me too I'd like to be 160lbs. I'm working on that.I think of that LBD in a size 10 to motivate myself. Remember you have all of us
here for support. Hang in there!

Huggs's Renee

[Karren H]

I love STNG....lol. Hey join the club..three years ago I was a pudgy 220 pounds, high blood pressure, felt like crap, high cholestorl. So I decided that I needed to do something else I was on a short trip to the grave....started playing ice hockey again!! After 25 years. Lost 50 pounds in 9 months, got on meds for the cholestrol..started eating healthier too. Add in finding a brain tumor and an enflamed gland in my jaw plus my hobby kicking back in with a vengence and it was a really really different year.. Hehehe

But now everything has calmed down. And I'm maintaining my weight and playing ice hockey plus crossdressing when I can fit it in!! Life is good!!

So if you want something bad enough you will work to achieve that goal..and I wanted to look good as a chick (ohhh..and the death thingy scared me too!!) and got there but it wasn't easy...and as a result my male side looks great and I still get compliments all the time.. :) so "Please step away from the computer" and get your but in gear, girl.....

I'll lend you my skates!! Hehe


Love Karren

[stacylynn1]

you are realy one special lady karren and I might add one of the most sexy women GG or CD I have seen
stacylynn1

[Casey Morgan]

So, I sit in a no-man's land, neither male nor female. Good at neither.

Some of us live there. We call it home. But then that's the place where we are free to be the people we are.

Resistance can mean that you are afraid but it can also mean that you're trying to do something that just isn't you. The trick is to find out what IS you. There's no one way to be, there's no one way you have to be. But it's usually a very good idea to be you. The more you know who you are and the more you are you, the less resistance you will feel usually.

You say you can't really be femme for various reasons. But being femme is an internal thing. If you suddenly became a creature of pure thought, free from all physical constraints, you could still be femme. Be it, live it on the inside and the outside won't really matter.

[flatlander_48]

Don't know what else to call it. I used to be pretty good at the whole cding thing. Even pass. Then, over time, resistance seemed to build. Did it scare me? Was I afraid cause I feel I may be TS? Did I mentally run for the hills? Anyway, over time, I needed to work out to relieve my stress, then my stress caused me to eat too much. I'm not too fat now, but I have a little too much muscle for a CDer and the gut doesn't help. Now, I get upset cause I've lost my girlish figure and can't be really fem! It's like a vicious circle. I've overcome the need to purge. But can't seem to get back in shape. So, I sit in a no-man's land, neither male nor female. Good at neither. Does this sound familiar? How did you overcome your fear and resistance?

Just A Sugestion:
A great way to control your weight, develop your legs and be out in nature is to take up cycling. That plus you get to wear Tight Spandex...

[Karren H]

Just A Sugestion:
A great way to control your weight, develop your legs and be out in nature is to take up cycling. That plus you get to wear Tight Spandex...


But there's no checking in cycling!! Hehe

Love Karren

[rickie121x]

Don't know what else to call it. I used to be pretty good at the whole cding thing...... I've lost my girlish figure and can't be really fem! It's like a vicious circle. I've overcome the need to purge. But can't seem to get back in shape. So, I sit in a no-man's land, neither male nor female. Good at neither. Does this sound familiar? How did you overcome your fear and resistance? Don't you mean "no-person's" land? :heehee:

Seriously - I am sure that all of us have ups and downs in our crossdressing worlds - and that when your desire to have what you want becomes strong enough, you will take action to get "it". One of the things that tends to make our desires more clear is that having taken some action - nearly any action at all, the process of involvement helps us to see more clearly.

Re weight gain negating your desire to dress: I have this wonderful group of dresses and other femme garb that is one size (Or two sizes!!! ) too small. And I keep believing that I will have the stamina to keep my caloric intake down - it hasn't worked so far - I just keep wearing the stuff that fits girls that I would not date because of their size! I would guess that "my desire" is not yet strong enough.... :mad:

Amanda - if you are continuing to muddle in the conflict and confusion that you are feeling - maybe you need to chat with someone who can help to clear away that unhealthy stuff before you are able, again, to really enjoy our truly delightful process of crossdressing.

Good luck.... Rickie

[flatlander_48]

But there's no checking in cycling!! Hehe

Love Karren

Well, as close as I ever got to a contact sport was playing basketball. However, if you fall off your bike, you body check yourself. This is a condition to be particularly avoided as the pavement checks a lot harder than any of your team mates ever could. With respect to the Hu-Man body, asphalt just has NO give. Plus, it doesn't take much to wear through the Lycra and start wearing off your butt. Most unpleasant...

[AmandaM]

<<The trick is to integrate both aspects in one personality.>>

I joke with my wife that then I'd be Rod Stewart. Getting there is the problem. I get close and then freak out, "Ahhh, get the barbells". I'm a big chicken but I get everyone's drift. :)

[Marla S]

I joke with my wife that then I'd be Rod Stewart.
Hm, maybe than you should think about if integration is a good thing :D

Getting there is the problem. I get close and then freak out, "Ahhh, get the barbells". I'm a big chicken but I get everyone's drift. :)
Seriously, integration of both aspects is an interative process. Going back and forth, left and right, up and down in small steps to find the global minimum of inner resistance (ideality without any resistance) needs some time.

[Deborah]

At first i let the fear and resistance take control by joining the army then later getting married.
Now i'm out of the army, divorced and a lot bigger in the arms and shoulders then i want to be.
Yes and i'm angry with myself too because both ruined me.

Then just over a year ago i found this site. Met up with some other people at a TS meeting in Seattle so now i'm no longer in denial.

[sandra-leigh]

Lost 50 pounds in 9 months, got on meds for the cholestrol..started eating healthier too.

I discovered the tough way that depressed people tend to put on weight. And not necessarily due to eating "comfort foods" either. The body's reaction to stress apparently often includes manufacturing a natural steroid-like substance.

I've noticed that I sometimes gain up to 5 pounds in two days -- and I'm not a heavy eater. Sometimes the weight goes on when I'm eating most healthily... depends on what my body thinks it needs at the time.

[Charleen]

Been there not too long ago. Did a thread about it as well. I over stepped my comfort level, and got scared. Lily hid, and Charlie took over completely. As been said many times, the key is balance. At least one of the keys, another is accepting who we are. The weight can be taken off. I believe the main thing right now is to come to terms with who you are, and work on accepting that. There are a lot worse things than being TS, or TG.
Love and xxxx, Lily

[samantha#1]

I train physically a minimum of 4 hours a day; never on weights, mainly stretching, aerobic and anarobic, cardio vascular; those types of things. Lots and lots of Tai Chi, karate and weaponary practice every week as well. I try not to do anything that will bulk me up too much: but for my work I must be fit.
Hugs to all
Samantha