The Final step with SO

[Kahlan51]

Hi: I am in the final stages of coming out with my wife. I have shared my feeling with her often about dressing up and she has been supportive so far. She has seen my wardrobe and pictures of me dressed up. I have dressed in night gown several time for lovemaking and she enjoyed it. we had a conversation a couple of days ago about the final step of her seeing me dressed up. She said just let me know when so she wouldn't be surprised. So it seems like a smooth ride. What the problem seems to be is if is that smooth why am I feeling so apphrehensive and shy about it. :o I have tried to go slow with it hmm maybe too slow. Any thoughts from others who have come out with their SO's Kahlan

[stacylynn1]

carefull hon it can blow up in your face don.t push
stacylynn1

[Lisa Golightly]

You don't want to feel rejected, or see that look of rejection, and of course this is when the last shards of armour are dropped and you stand before her as you.... if you leave it too long it will take on silly monstrous proportions that will make it more difficult to do. Just do it... Tonight is as good as any other.

[swiss_susan]

Its perfectly normal to be nervous in your situation. It seems from what you have described you have taken it slow and she has been accepting, so don't worry. Just have fun.

Trust me I know the feeling and can remember the butterflies I felt walking down the stairs to show my so for the first time.

Enjoy,

Susan

[Lawren]

The first time is always the hardest. It's natural to be nervous about. Just like your first date or the first time you drove a car. Take a deep breath and go with flow.

[Penny]

You don't want to feel rejected, or see that look of rejection, and of course this is when the last shards of armour are dropped and you stand before her as you.... if you leave it too long it will take on silly monstrous proportions that will make it more difficult to do. Just do it... Tonight is as good as any other.

Well put!:iagree:

[Stephenie S]

Dear Kahlan,

I took it slow. I know you are doing this already.

My wife's first look was not complete. I just wore some nice jeans, top, and my forms. Nice pair of flats, and I combed my hair nice. So it was nothing OTT. No makeup, no heels, (don't wear them anyway) no wig (don't wear wigs either), no jewelry. I think it was easier for her to take. The next time I was dressed to go out, and I just asked for her opinion as I left the house. "Do I look OK, dear?" so her view was short and sweet. From then on I just introduced something gradually in my dress or makeup around the house so she could get used to it. Makeup needed a lot of attention as I am still practicing, and around the house is a good place to do that. I figure if she doesn't notice, I'm doing something right.

In my opinion, I didn't want to hit her with the whole ball of wax all at once even though she had seen pictures of me dressed and made up before she saw me in person.

So that's how it went with me. Worked OK.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Ellaine]

Trust me I know the feeling and can remember the butterflies I felt walking down the stairs to show my so for the first time.


Amen to that Sister lol


You sound as though you have played it really well. Good luck babe and once you hit the stairs...Keep going! ;)

You'll be fine. She loves you to bits.

[pinkshelly]

I think what you are feeling, cause I felt it too, is; She should not like it. She's a girl and she should want a man. She's not going to go for it cause it goes against every thing you have been told.
Thats what goes through my mind, even though she tells me time and time again that she loves both of us. She probably wouldn't be so in love with ME if I didn't have both sides.
Yes, yes, she a hell of a woman, and I thank God every day for her.
Huggs, Shelly.

[Sage GG]

Hi: I am in the final stages of coming out

Slow is good but one thing, its not the final step its really the first step. Its a process not a moment.

[Sheila]

Kahlan51,
I am the SO of claire jane ------(who has yet to post though she does come on and read)------ he/she was really more nervous than I was about the first time of me seeing him/her dressed - we have only been sharing this road together for around 7 weeks although he has been crossdressing for over twenty years. It was fine for us and I hope it goes well for both of you

Jess

[Tracy_Victoria]

Kahlan

just remember thing can change, for the better and the worse. My partner knew about my dressing before we got serious, and she saw me dressed, we went to a CD meeting and then things just changed!

She knows I need to dress, and she gives me space to do so, we can talk (almost freely now) though I still get a little tounge tied now and then. but most of all dispite her accepting my needs, she just can't handle seeing me after changing, because it clould her image of the real me.

So hence I have space, dress, and then change back to the guy she loves and wants. I think we both would like it to be different but thats the way it is for now.

Things may change in time, we both don't know what is ahead and we keep pushing slowly together, but if they don't change, I'm just greatful I still have my partner, my best friend, and my sole mate to confide in and talk to about how I feel. and I respect that she just can't be Tracy's friend, as well as mine.

Some times we just can't have everything we want!

[eleyna]

I think you were on the right track with the night gown. I think appearing dressed might be a lot for her to take on at once. It's a lot to ask anyone to try and see the same person when you step out completely dressed, and during that interval all sorts of thoughts and connections are going to rush into her head. Is this a perversion? Is he aroused under all that? Is it my panties that have been turning him on all this time instead of me?

My advice would be - and I hope this isn't ott for this forum - to maybe do something romantic/sensual first, so that you aren't wearing much, and then ease her into "playing" dress up with you. Give her chance to find out what she's comfortable with.

Perhaps with something along the lines of "So how about you see me dressed up right now? Only, I've no idea what to wear so ... maybe you could spare a few minutes to pick some things out? And if its really not working for you or making you uncomfortable, we can stop?"

[SatinSarah]

go easy and give her plenty of opportunity to back off if she feels uncomfortable. She is probably doing it for you because she loves you. Respect her and her wishes. I got to full dressing for 10 years and then I pushed a weekend away too far and looked too good for her. All she could see whas a beautiful woman in her bedroom and not the man she married. 10 years hard work and back to zero. Only just started to pick up the pieces after 2 years. I think she knows I dress elsewhere but only shared a bra and panties in bed since. I mistook her acceptance , It was loving tolerance. Talk to her at every stage and play by her rules. I didn't. You sound as though you kow all of this and are doing it right. Don't blow the final step.

Sarah

[Sandra]

Take it slow with her, talk about it with her all the way don't let her feel left out. You could ask her what she would prefer to see you dressed in, skirt, dress etc or ask if she would like to help you, that way she will feel involved.
Good Luck.