Looking Back to my Childhood and Strange Thoughts or Not??

[Felix]

Hmmm I think now is about the time to talk about when I was an inocent child or maybe not depending how ya look at it!! Remember my post about strange thoughts hitting me like a sledge hammer? Well the earliest memory of such thoughts was when I was about 8. I thought then, having recognized that I was different from ya standard lass :heehee: that I wanted to be a boy. I never really talked to anybody about this cos I knew they would just laugh at me, so I sorted it all out in my head and thought ya not a boy so get on with it. I was always such a Tom boy which caused major problems with my parents cos they wanted me to be a girly girl and there was no way. But as I got a bit older I realized that I fancied girls which caused more problems as you can imagine!! When I sorted all that out after lots of ear bashing from my parents I decided to keep the peace and look for a boy friend. Ya know I ended up married and stuff but throughout the years lids kept flying off and eventually I came out best thing that ever happened to me!!! I have been with my wonderful gf for five years now and hope to spend many more with her and our children :hugs: :love:
Now I am moving through yet another phase of my lifes journey which is quite new but not knew, different but not different as if this is quite a natural progression. can anyone relate to this?? No mid life crisis just enjoying being me now do ya know I mean? How I am now is a much more confident me and that is a reflection of finding my inner self and not being affraid of showing the world. Saying this is me, take it or leave it but I'm not going away I'm here to stay!! Anyways enough waffle I'll keep ya all posted as to how I'm gettin on. Any thoughts on this you guys??? Only draw back can't really put my old parents through any major shocks so I tone things down round them but I'm sure you all understand where I'm coming from on this!

[mistunderstood]

Yes I can feel were you you are comeing from. When I dress fully and I think of myself as Aaron I can take on the world, I can sell freezers to eskimos and do anything I want. When I think as Candy I am unable to do what I want. It is wierd. I find Im down more as Candy. Aaron is upbeat.
So yea I can see were you are comeing from.

[cutbait]

as a unwelcome thought caster as i may be... allow this one incurtion.

when i am dess, i feel wonderfull. sexy, wanted and all powerfull. however, she has her needs... to be held, and loved, and wanted. however, threaten her family, and you are the one that may need to call in some backup.

as my gm self, i have the 'small man syndrome'. the smaller you are, the meaner you have to be. that is one thing that i am not, and in todays world if you don't fit the cardboard cut out of 'boy/girl' then something must be worng with you.

pahh, be who you are to the level that you can feel the most out of it. if your 'better off' blacking all the windows and getting dressed than going out, then i'll help you get the best deal on spray paint. and if your the one who goes out to the clubs, maybe a gurlfriend is more up your ally. at lest you will know what to expect from each other at 0100, in the mornning...

enough of my rant... best wishes, and good luck love.

[CaptLex]

I think I get it...you felt like a guy, you liked girls, but you pushed those feelings away for a while, and now you're letting them come forward? Is that it, or have I got it wrong? Anyway, it's awesome that you're being yourself, because that's who you're meant to be. :)
Yup, that's what it sounds like to me too. Silva, I'm proud of you. You overcame many obstacles to get where you are today and you're happier and more sure of who you are. Many people go through life just existing - but you've found a way to truly live. In the end, that's what it's all about. Way to go, man! :thumbsup: