think before you tell

[julie w]

It comes up all the time about telling family and friends about you cd ing
I would think hard and long before you start to tell people . In my opinion
unless you are way on your way to changing you sex and have been spending
long periods of time in you chosen gender , I would not tell ,except you s o
I have meet people that have had their family disown them and have had
to live in poverty . you can still enjoy you femme self and meet like minded
people without the world knowing , sorry about the heavy post. but
I had to give my two cent worth

[Marla S]

I think talking with the SO is inevitable, especially if your not going for transitioning. (Transitioning means divorce most of the time anyway)
This is a question of trust and honesty.
But be well prepared and sure about yourself. Probably the best would be to live at least 3-6 month on your own, with maximum freedom to dress, in order to get a clearer view on your CDing.

[Tracy_Victoria]

It comes up all the time about telling family and friends about you cd ing
I would think hard and long before you start to tell people . In my opinion
unless you are way on your way to changing you sex and have been spending
long periods of time in you chosen gender , I would not tell ,except you s o
I have meet people that have had their family disown them and have had
to live in poverty . you can still enjoy you femme self and meet like minded
people without the world knowing , sorry about the heavy post. but
I had to give my two cent worth

I had a friend once who got knocked down crossing the road! I never cross roads now!:D

Each case is different julie, and you can't say the same will always be true to all, some TV's tell there parents and have good reactions some have bad, some have mixed.

everyone has to decide there own destiny, not live by others!

MY :2c:

[Calliope]

Each case is different julie, and you can't say the same will always be true to all, some TV's tell there parents and have good reactions some have bad, some have mixed.


So true. Accepting that, these 'seeking advice' threads are pretty pointless really. Who's gonna really make such a momentous decision based upon the online words of strangers (some of whom appear to be cartoons) anyway?

[KateLongman27]

So true. Accepting that, these 'seeking advice' threads are pretty pointless really. Who's gonna really make such a momentous decision based upon the online words of strangers (some of whom appear to be cartoons) anyway?

Thinking before you spill always helps, however getting advice from strangers is always helpful since strangers don't know you and thus in theory will give you better (impartial) advice based on their experience. A bit like seeing a counsellor but a lot cheaper!

[Aside: I like my cartoon Avatar, it means that it's something different for people to look at and brings more variety to the forum! :D ]

[tekla west]

I would think that one should think about what they are saying all the time. Sometimes this goes well, other times not. How much you want to say, or tell, depends on the sitution and how open you indend to be (or are becoming).

[Caitlintgsd]

Imho, you can only tell people once. If it doesn't go well, you can't undo it. And then you'll have to live with the results good or bad. I've lost both friends and jobs as a result of being transgendered. And at the same time while you may feel better about your new revelation, you may have inadvertently dumped a pile of guilt or dispair on the other individual. But you alone know the other people in your live. Proceed cautiously.



(My pic is on my profile....):tongueout

[Calliope]

Thinking before you spill always helps, however getting advice from strangers is always helpful since strangers don't know you and thus in theory will give you better (impartial) advice based on their experience. A bit like seeing a counsellor but a lot cheaper!


A lot cheaper, sure, but a lot more superficial. The problem isn't so much the advice- there are very articulate people here with lifetimes of experience and sound thinking. The problem, generally, is usually those seeking advice offer too little family psychodynamics to go on, so giving advice is just a blind shot. Families are complicated and highly individual.

And, yes, one would hope one thinks before they tell. Common sense. Timing and sensitivity and all that.

But the original post also said: '[U]nless you are way on your way to changing you sex and have been spending long periods of time in you chosen gender , I would not tell ,except you s o I have meet people that have had their family disown them and have had to live in poverty .'

It's that last part which I think is a bit too particularized - and alarmist. Living in the closet is as momentous a decision as coming out when you consider how unhealthy keeping secrets and living a 'double can' can be. The proof is all over the archives on this forum.




[Aside: I like my cartoon Avatar, it means that it's something different for people to look at and brings more variety to the forum! :D ]


More 'variety'? There's loads here - and most are generic images cribbed from straight artists. (One could have a fantasy avatar plus a real profile photo.) Considering the whole focus here is crossdressing, it just seems weird when one discusses CDing with someone who may or may not CD, who knows?

[julie w]

all you replys make good sense , after all that is what a forum is for .
I just wanted to make people think before they open their mouth and yes
that applys to other thing in life to , and if it helps one person it was worth
the post

[USNguyNskirt]

Thinking before you spill always helps, however getting advice from strangers is always helpful since strangers don't know you and thus in theory will give you better (impartial) advice based on their experience. A bit like seeing a counsellor but a lot cheaper!

[Aside: I like my cartoon Avatar, it means that it's something different for people to look at and brings more variety to the forum! :D ]

Difference is counselors and psychologists have licenses and are certified FOR A REASON. :2c:

[Nigella]

I was ready to face the wide world a lot earlier than I did. Only one thing stopped me, Sandra and my daughter, not that they physically stopped me, but the thought of how people would treat them.

When they were comfortable with the world knowing about Nigella, then together we started telling those who were near and dear to us.

One truth, which no-one can escape, once the cat is out of the bag, you will never get it back in. Be sure yourself, make sure those near and dear, ie immediate family are comfortable, and then if you dont mind losing the odd family member or friend along the way, GO FOR IT :hugs:

[suzy]

Julie,

I agree with you.

Revealing your CD ing is sometimes very difficult so, yes, it would require long hard thinking before jumping head first in to an act such as trelling the world.. . Best to consider all of the possibiliteis and be prepared for what may come about... :2c:

[suzy]

Julie,

I agree with you.

Revealing your CD ing is sometimes very difficult so, yes, it would require long hard thinking before jumping head first in to an act such as telling the world.. . Best to consider all of the possibiliteis and be prepared for what may come about... :2c: