everyone shuns cross dressers

[Shiny]

Yeah, that's the way it is. We're sick, weird and part of the fringe of society. But, lets take a look at most women--in general. They titter and giggle at the thought or even the mention of cross dressers. But, they hate their men always working on cars and such and hate being weekend "football widows."

I guess what I am getting at is that more women should become sensitive to our type of person. What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!

If I was a woman looking for a man and could find that kind of deal I would jump at the chance!

[carol anne]

I agree completely. Some women will always appreciate being dominated but the average woman would really appreciate a little more domestic help- which a cd husband could probably provide.
I also feel we really don't have to apoligize for being cds. The great percentage of us are still male but we do have a feminine leaning which many wives probably would welcome from time to time. I learned to change diapers, wash little hinders and occasionly cook a breakfast. I didn't kill me, my wife appreciated , usually, and the kids survived.
Carol Anne:love:

[Karren H]

Hey!! Well speak for your self!! I love working on cars, tonight its Monday Night football but I have to go play ice hockey sooo the wife won't see my sensative butt till after midnight!! :)

So don't let the dress fool you....I maybe cute but I draw the line at sensativity!!! Hehehe

Love Karren

[Ashley in Virginia]

I guess what I am getting at is that more women should become sensitive to our type of person. What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!

If I was a woman looking for a man and could find that kind of deal I would jump at the chance!


I disagree. Don't try to fit us into a neat little package. I hate cooking, love working on cars and sports. I hate all housework. Just because I put on womens clothes doesn't make me, or anyone else for that matter, a "typical" woman.

Your theory about cd's is just as wrong as the people who like to lump us all into the catagory of perverts. It takes all kinds in this world, alot are like how you describe and alot aren't. Trying to put us all in a nice neat box, isnt going to serve us well at all.

[Annaliese]

Hey!! Well speak for your self!! I love working on cars, tonight its Monday Night football but I have to go play ice hockey sooo the wife won't see my sensative butt till after midnight!! :)

So don't let the dress fool you....I maybe cute but I draw the line at sensativity!!! Hehehe

Love Karren

I was a mechanic for years before I hirt my back I am just getting to the point that I like working on cars again. I am not into football but my wife is so I have to either sit through it or find something else to do, if it is Saturday after noon I will going riding one of my horses. She dose not like to dress up at all wares little makeup. I was the one that the kids allways came to because I was the more sensative. I do most of the cooking and she hate to cook. Neither of us like to cleen but I do my share.

I take all of us to make up this world.

Anna

[Marla S]

I guess what I am getting at is that more women should become sensitive to our type of person. What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!

If I was a woman looking for a man and could find that kind of deal I would jump at the chance!
Just stop dressing and everything is fine :D Can't be that hard ;)

But you are right in a way. At a first glance one should expect GGs to be natural companions. A thought that diminishs at the second glance.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Shiny,
In part I agree with your sentiments. If all crossdressing men were like you and most others on here then women would be mad to pass up the chance to have one as a partner. Generally speaking I'd say they make excellent partners for all the reasons that youve pointed out. However, as someone has already said, Crossdressers cannot be fitted into a neat little package.
I guess I am one of the luckier GGs on here in that I do have a well balanced fella and altho he has his faults he doesn't give me a hard time.
I have read posts, mostly on other sites admittedly, where CDs are struggling with their Bi curious tendancies and are seriously contemplating a relationship outside of their marriage with another CD, some of my clients are already doing it and openly flaunting the fact that they want to meet others for sex. Im not saying that this is just a CD thing, I know alot of regular guys are just the same. Nevertheless, you can understand why some GGs could easily get the wrong overall impression of the CD world and tar them all with the same brush.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[GG Vanya]

Yeah, that's the way it is. We're sick, weird and part of the fringe of society. But, lets take a look at most women--in general. They titter and giggle at the thought or even the mention of cross dressers. But, they hate their men always working on cars and such and hate being weekend "football widows."

I guess what I am getting at is that more women should become sensitive to our type of person. What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!

If I was a woman looking for a man and could find that kind of deal I would jump at the chance!


Whoa here...gimme that big ole wide paintbrush!

I don't titter and giggle at the mention of a CD, sheesh, I'm married and head over heels in love with one! I dang sure don't think he's sick or weird.

I love that Trudi has construction talent, custom golf club building talent, as well as mechanical aptitude. AND, she can cook a MEAN pot of crab legs or lobster!

I can have my bedroom as girly as I like, and she's all for it. She's great at doin laundry also! She's a homebody, pretty much, unless she's off at the CC playin golf. :happy: Hell, at least she's not out drinkin!

I said many times when I first joined this site:

Women scream about wanting the sensitive male. Duh, find a CD!

I've sense had to rethink that statement as I've found not all CD's are sensitive, nor are they thoughtful and caring of their SO's feelings.


"If I was a woman looking for a man and could find that kind of deal I would jump at the chance!"


I was that woman, I did find that kind of deal, and more, and I did jump at the chance. :D

Oh, and I might add, we both love football. When the Saints play the Bucs, it gets interesting around here! (She's from Tampa Bay, and we're living in my home state~Louisiana.)

[Kimberly]

I guess what I am getting at is that more women should become sensitive to our type of person. What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!
So many generalisations!! So many clichés!!

The pain... t3h P4IN!!!!! :(

[JMO2]

The SO I live with wants me to do the housework but thinks I went through a faze and that I no longer dress up.
She is so wrong. Lately I have thought about the repricussions of all of a sudden doing housework dressed.
I have gotten some clothes that I would like to even "work" in.
She is disabled and cannot get the energy (or wants to) do the housework.
What position does that put me in....I feel a rotten one.
No dressing up but do the housework.
Sensitive....sure I am but a little bitter too....
Nuff said.................

[tekla west]

I get scared every time I see words like "everybody" used. Or to refer to any large group as "we." One of the few things that I ever learned of any value was "Speak for yourself, not for the group" unless they elected you to do so. There is NO WE here at all. And it does not take a hard reading of the posts to learn that. Nor is there any THEM with the girls, they are not all of one stripe, nor of a single set of values.

I do see a huge difference in between how women react when you want to be friends, and when you want to be "more than just friends." Where mostly its good in the first instance, its not so good for the second. But then again, that's true for most NON-CD males also ain't it?

There is no one set of things that women are looking for, and a lot of time - just like men - they really don't even know until they see it.

What may be more helpful is a guide to what kind of women are more - as opposed to less - likely to accept CD in their mate. However, such a list would be shut down on this board in short order I'm pretty sure, for it would get into some rather deep-seated areas of distress. For example, I - as do most mental health professionals agree that everyone has some degree of emotional issues. Troubles with communication, self-esteem issues, inferiority/superiority complexes, abuse issues, bad relationships in the past that always find a way into the present, and on and on. Given such a list which would be the most common among women who accept CD - and how much of them should they have? From that point on, all discussion would end. People would see too much of themselves in it and it would cut too close for comfort. Others would see it as far too predatory and mercenary (I would disagree, we all have such shopping lists, we just don't publish them) and end it on those grounds.

[MsJanessa]

Hey!! Well speak for your self!! I love working on cars, tonight its Monday Night football but I have to go play ice hockey sooo the wife won't see my sensative butt till after midnight!! :)

So don't let the dress fool you....I maybe cute but I draw the line at sensativity!!! Hehehe

Love Karren

actually Karen's right----I've been married twice and what most women want is not someone to cook and clean and sew for them but to fix the plumbing, do the odd construction job around the house, change the oil in the car etc. ps Vanya---Patriots rule---always have always will

[nettiereno GG]

......cannot be generalized.

If I want someone to change the oil, or fix the plumbing (except my own), I will hire someone. It is wonderful to have adora to cook, clean, serve.

I love having my boy/girl. She plays both roles perfectly.

Annette

[Kate Simmons]

Most people don't give a hoot about crossdressers. Not the first thing on their agenda in the morning. They have too much everyday stuff to worry about. Women can take or leave us and I can't blame them. Most women want a "manly" man (whatever the hell THAT is). Forget the domination part, most just want a guy who can make the decisions in the family and look up to their leadership and "masterfulness". Before I get bashed by our lovable GG's, let me say that I feel that's a crock of "you know what". I've always felt any kind of relationship, especially marriage was an equal partnership. That's the way I behaved with my wife. I encouraged her to take an active part as much as possible. I always had the dream we could become "girl friends" but it was not to be. She could not handle my being my femme self, mostly due to religious reasons. She never tried to understand though which is the big difference with most of the GG's here. People don't shun us really, they just don't understand why a man could possibly want to look like a woman or vice versa. When all is said and done, it comes down to being mostly affectations as far as society's view point. Simple to them--if a guy wears a dress, he's queer. If a woman wants to look like a guy, she's weird. Having the forum helps the bitter pill go down just a little bit better, I think.:happy: Ericka

[kathy gg]

Hmm....as everyone has said waaaayyy to much lumping going on....way to much of that dreaded word *everybody*

One definition cannot define *all* cd's nor can one define what *all* women.

As for these idea's about cd's not being into football or being great cooks....hmmm my husband's idea of him making dinner is Hamburger Helper and I am a football widow come this time of year (thankfully he does not make me suffer on Monay evening or subscribe to those speciality football channels so I dont' have it that bad I guess).

Maybe it is time to rework this theory?

[LeAnn]

First nice legs.
Second thanks for exposing some other CDs
Third smile and be happy, but you ssee everyone is not like you.
Howevr, I would love to have you for a friend,
The hornets nest here shows you generalizations bacckfire.
But I have been guilty too.

[~Dee~]

all the ladies ive spoken to or come out to or generally know about me have been nothing more than helpful, kind and generous with support.

i cant think of a single time when any have tittered at me.

those who are my friends, those who only know me through other friends and even my pharmacist that i get my meds from all have been supportive and friendly.

but even if they did giggle at the sight of a cd'er walking down the street.. i actually could forgive them that giggle.
afterall, we react to things that are unusual ... and i dont know what its like anywhere else, but here, there arent many cd'ers out and about .. so of course, its not usual at all.

but then, Kitty loves me for who i am... and this idea that all a lady would like is a plumber ... err .. has never come up.
i cant fix a car.. i dont know the first thing about them .. i dont build walls or fix plumbing ... but i sure can dial a mean telephone and call out someone who can. so if plumbing, bricklaying, mechanical skills is all that i could offer Kitty ..... i think id be a bit lacking in the end of it all.

oh, and i despise housework .. just take a look at my house sometime. :D
but the indian in me sure can cook at least :p

[angelfire]

I can do some basic carpentry and install things that have instuctions, but I know nothing about cars. Hell, I barely know WHERE a radiator is, let alone what it does. I can't even plunge the toilet properly.

[DAVIDA]

Well i've allways done housework dressed. If I'm in the house then I am dressed. I do my share of the cooking and cleaning, but I also do all the wrenching, plumbing, electic, and carpentry. Not to mention all the yardwork. Sports are OK, but I'm not obsessed.

[Sejd]

I like to play music in my free time. what does that make me? How does musicians fit into the mold of girly girly activities? sometimes I come home from work and just want to sit quietly in my music studio in a skirt and paint my nails. sometimes I build on our house, sometimes I watch a movie with my beloved. How does that make me more sensitive or more of a real CD?
Let's drop the stadardized behavior systems and just be who we are. Yes, we are different than main stream culture, but it's not unusual that people peck on someone who are different. right now our culture picks on people from other countries and relligions weather they are a threat to us or not. That's all just a patchwork of our human condition. I suggest to be Zen about it. Embrace the god and the bad, that's what makes us whole.
Sejd

[ReginaK]

If women wanted a "girlfriend" they would get a girlfriend. But most women want men, even the kind who always work on cars and watch too much sports, because it's much easier to explain that to your friends than crossdressing.

[AmberTG]

My personal experience with the women in my life is that they wanted something from me that I didn't have to give them. I've never been very masculine and it seems they wanted a "manly" man and I'm not. My exknew about my CDing before we got married, but she didn't want me to do it after we got married. I never hid the fact that I did it but I tried to do it discreetly for her sake. She ended up having an affair with a "real" man after about 10 years of nagging and fighting, after she found out she couldn't change me into what she really wanted me to be. I was depressed a lot from my gender disphoria and her dissapproval.
My current wife wants way more sex than I'm capable of so that complicates the current relationship. I do some house work when I have time, I like to vacunm, I can load the dishwasher and the washing machine. I also like some things like shooting sports, railroad related interests, playing music, I don't have any truely "manly" interests. I like a "girley bedroom as much as the next girl, I like the house decorated in a fem fashion.
I guess there really are no things that can be pointed at to say "most people like that are like this" I think it's partly luck to find a partner that is ok with your various wants and needs, but you have to be ok with their wants and needs too. A partnership takes work from both sides.

[Melinda G]

I've been single for 25 years, since my wife left. I've had my share of girlfriends, but I look better than any of the women I currently know, so why bother with them. I have a better time by myself. I'm always keeping my eyes open, and my options open, but I am quite happy by myself.

http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/2813/m24rm0.jpg

[Deborah]

LOL @ football widows. Come over to my house and we'll go shopping. I hate football.

[LadyLiz GG]

I couldn't agree with you more...I love my cross-dressing boyfriend. He loves to shop and picks out great stuff for me. We have a lot of fun together. I wouldn't trade him.

[LadyLiz GG]

I am not sure my reply went through. I am new and learning. CD may be on the fringes, but the main steamers scare me...they have secrets...its just harder to get caught at their game...

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Yeah, that's the way it is.

Actually, no it's not. Not everyone shuns crossdressers. I've told several of my friends (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/search.php?searchid=850900) and they're quite accepting.


What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!

Ain't necessarily so either. Stick around and you'll hear horror stories of CDs who are selfish and self-centered with delusional idea of what "being a woman" is about. Being a CD can mean you're more sensitive, but there's no guarantees.

As other have said, sweeping generalizations about folks are rarely, if ever, correct.

[cindyxdresser]

I have been pretty lucky ,since i have came out i have been accepted by every woman i know except one,her daughtor told her about me and she said it was wrong and didnt want me doing it around her at all,but has never changed the way she treats me,,she acts like she doesnt know.I was introduced to a black woman and her two teen age daughtors who love me as cindy and have never called me by my boy name ,even when i am introduced to one of their friends or relatives i am Cindy.It made me feel so wonderful inside to be treated so good by them ,being a crossdresser and white. We have become very good friends and to them i am Cindy ,one of their girlfriends

[Angie G]

I must have it all I like to fish, hunt I work on cars and do housework or my wife must have it all well maybe we both do my wife seems to like it.
I don't care as long as I can dress femme :hugs:
Angie

[Robin Leigh]

We're gender outlaws (to some extent), and we all disobey society's gender laws in different ways. Because of this negative definition, CDers as a group have about as much in common as non-philatelists. :heehee: Well, maybe a bit more in common than that, but we are certainly a diverse bunch.

I like to think that a woman would find my CD side attractive because I'm more sensitive & more willing to look at things from a feminine perspective. The fact that I'm a great cook is just a bonus. :) I don't mind doing housework, but I find it hard to get motivated living alone. When I do domestic chores when dressed, I like to think I do a more thorough job. :)

It can be fun doing housework when dressed, but I did have a close call one time at my parents' house. My mum was sick in hospital & I offered to visit a few times & do the vacuuming. I'd moved out more than 5 years before, and it was quite a trip to visit my parents on public transport. When I got there the house was empty, as I expected, & I did a bit of exploring. I found a bag of my sisters' & mother's clothes destined to go to charity. This was not long after one of my sister's had gotten married & moved out of home.

Anyway, a little while later, I was doing the vacuuming in a nice dress with a little lipstick & blush on, when I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I had 30 seconds to get naked, turn the shower on, wrap a towel around myself & unlock the front door for my new brother in law, who'd arrived unexpectedly to pick up some of my sister's things. When I answered the door, I think he saw some makeup on my face for about 5 milliseconds before I ran for the shower. :D

Robin

[~Kitty GG~]

Yeah, that's the way it is. We're sick, weird and part of the fringe of society. But, lets take a look at most women--in general. They titter and giggle at the thought or even the mention of cross dressers. But, they hate their men always working on cars and such and hate being weekend "football widows."

I guess what I am getting at is that more women should become sensitive to our type of person. What's not to like? We love to cook, don't mind when she adds her doo-dads making the house more feminine and we love to chat and are mostly homebody types that don't at all mind housework! And, let's face it, we're more sensitive too!

If I was a woman looking for a man and could find that kind of deal I would jump at the chance!


You have some interesting points. And those of us who appreciate our cd/ts partner surely do for some of those reasons.. but.....

Since you are not a woman looking for a man.. but most likely a man looking for a woman.. are you looking for a nice cd woman so that she will share your manly attributes with you???

I mean why aren't most men looking for women who like working on cars, watching sports, aren't sensitive, don't buy do-dads...etc.

Seems there must a reason that we tend to attract in that male/female; ying/yang pattern.

Love & Hugs
~:star:Kitty:star:~

[Joy Carter]

Love is what I'm after not what the person can do or do for me. I do anything in the house that she does, Ok Ok I know I don't follow the directions when I do things but I' most happy when I can help her and she likes to give me a had when I need it. So gee I wish she realized that this gender warrior is what makes me me, dish pan hands and all.:D

[Bernice]

I'm with Marlena and Robin. We are tremendously diverse. If I dare generalize, we should all be seeking tolerance of our diversity.

I couldn't care less about spectator sports (maybe auto and airplane racing excepted), I sew, and I cry at sad movies. I enjoy ironing in a brainless way, and do my share of the dishes, and I don't like to get real dirty. OTOH, I also fix the plumbing and electrical, change the oil in both cars and the motorcycle, and I don't always give my SO the 100% attention she deserves. So, I am feminine in some ways, and more masculine in others. The same could be said for almost anyone, though only a few of us ever really come to terms with that concept.