Help needed for a 15y old cross dresser and him mom

[Carroll]

I received an email from a mother who's son recently disclosed he like to wear womens clothing. I will give you a few excerpts from the email:

He has been stealing women's clothing for about 2 years now, from everyone - friends & family. At first I thought they were trophies or maybe he used them while masturbating. I have tried everything from punishing him for stealing to having him admitted to a psych hospital for severe depression/suicidal thought. Of course there have been hundreds of times that I have tried talking to him only to have him shut down completely. This all came out to the family in May, my brother was about to marry and we were doing some last minute (one week prior) fittings of tuxs, etc at my brothers apartment, when my brother caught my son hiding his fiancé's undies in his shoe box. Well, I am sure you can guess that it was not exactly a Kodak moment. Major family riff ensues.....


So last night after I picked him up as we were driving home I pulled off the road and said, I have to know I am going crazy about this. FINALLY he opens up, after 2 years and says, "Mom, I am wearing them to sleep in, I feel more comfortable and confident in them. I did not want to tell you because I was afraid you would not love me anymore. I don’t like being a boy, I am not gay, I just don’t feel much like a boy, someday I want to change". I love him more than life itself, he is my only child, I will support him regardless, but I don’t think anyone else will. Do you have any advice for us? I do not want to struggle for the rest of his life with this, looking for acceptance from society. I told him I would love him no matter what, that he was very brave to admit it to me, and just because it was different from what society viewed as normal it did not mean he was wrong.

What I am looking for is any resources that I could give to her and her son. Web site, chat rooms, forums, what ever. I did ask her what city she was in so I could also find a local group for her and her son to go to. Any views, opinion, and help welcomed

Carroll

[susandrea]

He certainly seems transgendered. The more his mother educates herself about this, the better off he'll be.

I'd suggest she read about it (books and the internet), get him a GREAT counselor (don't stop looking until you find one-- he will need help to deal with many complex issues as he enters adulthood) and keep the communication lines open.

His mom sounds like she will be supportive, which is so very crucial to her son's life. Far too many transgendered teens suffer to the point where they will participate in risky behavior or even try suicide if they aren't supported in any way. (Remember the recent film 'A Girl Like Me'?)

The more she learns the better armed she will be to separate fact from fiction and truly help her son. Just as being gay is not a choice but a condition of birth, so is being transgendered. Fortunately this young person is living at a time when more and more people are becoming aware and tolerant, even supportive of transgendered people. Many are making history as successful and respected adults in many areas.

I would say the single most important thing she can do is love everything about him, including the fact that he is transgendered, because it really is the very core of his being.

:thumbsup:

Here's some stuff to start off with:

http://www.amazon.com/She-Not-There-Life-Genders/dp/B0002XZVDG/sr=1-3/qid=1158632247/ref=pd_bbs_3/104-1840478-3730322?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Rights-Paisley-Currah/dp/0816643121/sr=1-4/qid=1158632247/ref=sr_1_4/104-1840478-3730322?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Reader-Susan-Stryker/dp/041594709X/sr=1-5/qid=1158632247/ref=sr_1_5/104-1840478-3730322?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Emergence-Therapeutic-Guidelines-Gender-Variant/dp/078902117X/sr=1-6/qid=1158632247/ref=sr_1_6/104-1840478-3730322?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Riddle-Gender-Science-Activism-Transgender/dp/0375421629/sr=1-9/qid=1158632247/ref=sr_1_9/104-1840478-3730322?ie=UTF8&s=books

And there's loads more on Amazon. Mom and son should read them, as well as everyone else in the family.

And here's a great website to start with:

http://health.discovery.com/centers/teen/transgender/transgender.html

[Sarah Rabbit]

Carroll
write to Tamara. She posted a link some months ago, when a similiar subject came up.

Hugs, Sarah R. :bunny:

[Phoebe Reece]

Go to: http://www.tgchrysalis.com/ and to: http://www.gendertree.com/

[JenniferMint]

A brief suggestion regarding the clothes: She should buy him his own female clothes so that he doesn't steal other peoples'.

[tekla west]

Try Lavender Youth Recreation & Information Center (LYRIC)

MISSION
LYRIC’s mission is to build community and inspire positive social change through education enhancement, career training, health promotion, and leadership development with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth, their families, and allies of all races, classes, genders, and abilities.


VISION
LYRIC envisions a diverse society where LGBTQQ youth are embraced for who they are and encouraged to be who they want to be. By working towards social justice and supporting young leaders, their families and allies, LYRIC is building a world that that honors, respects and appreciates LGBTQQ youth and their contributions

www.lyric.org

They might be able to tell you about a similar group in your area, at least they are in the USA and more in tune with the American organizations.

[Joy Carter]

This is such a good group here we all rush to help one another. So thanks to all you who contrubute.:hugs:

[Carroll]

I would like to thank you all for you suggestion, both here and in private. I will update you as I get emails back

Carroll:hugs: :love:

[Butterfly Bill]

LYRIC envisions a diverse society where LGBTQQ youth are embraced for who they are...

www.lyric.org (http://www.lyric.org)


I know the L,G,B,and T, but what are the Qs?

The link bounced (on my Mozilla).

[missy collins]

i admitted my love for a feminine life to my mom when i was 10 when she confronted me about it. though i didnt steal clothing, i did enjoy wearing my sisters clothes and was living as the only male in our house. my mom accepted my wishes and supported my change to a girls life. she bought me girls clothes and that remained my lifestyle ever since,the past 15 years. living in a very rural area and being home schooled made it much simpler since i didnt have to constantly switch between boy and girl. i would hope his mom lovingly supports his wishes wherever possible. growing up is confusing enough as it is. he needs her love and understanding support. my best to them both:happy: missy

[tekla west]

qq = queer questioning - i.e. leaning that way, might be, interested, just different

link worked for me on Exp.

[Robin Leigh]

Hi Bill, it's me the Robin Leigh who told you about this place back on Usenet, last December. :hugs:


I know the L,G,B,and T, but what are the Qs?
As Tekla said, Queer & Questioning. But I wonder what happened to I for Intersex?



The link bounced (on my Mozilla).
The link works ok in Internet Explorer. I've just had a quick look at the html source for that page. You need to make sure Javascript is enabled.

PS. I have a harp a lot like the one in your avatar.

Robin

[Sheila]

Carroll,
from another mum tell her I think she is awesome,--------- how i would have dealt with that before I was involved with a cdr I don't know. Hopefully as well as I have done in the past 8 weeks, since I found out, ------ but to be perfectly honest I don't think I would have ---------- shame on me :sad:
Jess(SO)

[Karen Donna]

Mother just be kind and understanding with your son. Tell him that you love him regardless.You must stop him however from stealing other womens'
panties.Take him shopping with you and gently ask him if you can buy him panties and perhaps a half slip.Help from the various web pages would be advisable.I grew up with three sisters who would dress me often in girls clothing.My mother saw me in panties and dress and she did not panic. She just casually said how nice I look. Good luck

[DonnaT]

http://www.dcchildrens.com/dcchildrens/about/subclinical/subneuroscience/subgender/guide.aspx

[susiej]

I'm sorry to have to bring this up, but somewhere along the line, the child should be warned, very carefully, about what happened to Gwen Araujo. This is not so much to deter her from the transgender path, because she's on it, whether she likes it or not.

Rather, its to help her understand that the path takes her to a part of the forest where not everybody is as nice as her mom apparently is. Just as we warn all our children about the danger of AIDS, we should tell our transgender children about the unique hazards that face them.

I wish the child and her mom all the best.

Hugs,
Susie