PDA

View Full Version : My future wife



jacquelinenord
09-19-2006, 07:01 PM
Hello ladies,

Well I have to ask this but I am getting married nextr year to the most wonderful person in the world. But my parents dont understand me. My fiancee is a tg girl and i love her with all my heart. I can not wait till next october but the thing that hurts me the most is my parents dont understand why i am getting married to her. They want me to marry a man when i dont feel i should. It is how I feel and it is who i love and care for not them but it hurts me alot because i dont think they will come to my wedding. The question I guess is shall i still invite my parents or not because of how they feel about who i am marrying.

Kisses

Jacque

Vannacd
09-19-2006, 07:08 PM
It's your life not their's. Invite them to the wedding; it's up to them to decide whether or not to attend.

But cut them some slack, you have chosen an unconventional life partner and that might take them some time to get used to.

And congratulations on finding your mate.

Vanna

tekla west
09-19-2006, 07:09 PM
Invite them by all means. Should they choose to come or not is their decision. Parents only want the best for their kids, sometimes they just don't see what it is. Or they do, and understand that this will be harder than the average marraige, which is so difficult that most do not last. But sure, invite them.

jacquelinenord
09-19-2006, 07:15 PM
Thank you for your comments. It has been so hard for me. I just cant wait to get married because we have been together off and on for the last two and a half years and i could not be happier. I will take you girls's advice to heart and will invite them. What u say is true its their choice whether to come or not. Thanks again.

Lee51964
09-19-2006, 07:18 PM
but they will always love you but they don't have to like the decisions you make in life

you have to do what makes you happy

jacquelinenord
09-19-2006, 07:34 PM
I do agree I am trying to take it one day at a time. I do love my parents and just trying to let them see how much i am in love with my SO. It is hard but getting through it. thanks for all the help ladies.

NassauGurl
09-19-2006, 07:35 PM
Well, I think it would be best to send it. They will soon have another member in thier family and hopefully one day they will learn to love and accept your choices. Based on many many stories I have read I know that it will work out for you and yours. It may take more time than you want, or mabye even shorter, but it will work out. Try to be kind when you speak to them and don't say anything that you will later regret. It is your life and you are free to be who you want and LOVE who you want. I wish you the best of luck and love.

marykrissmithcd
09-19-2006, 07:35 PM
I agree with some of the other comments. Invite your parents but don't be surprised if they don't come. This is your life so be comfortable with it. If this is the person you want then go for it, not what other people say. Just be prepared for not being a part of your parents life for sometime until they come to terms with your decision. I have done to many thing in my life to please other people but not myself and am suffering for to this day.

jacquelinenord
09-19-2006, 07:38 PM
I do love my fiancee. I am waiting patiently for my parents to accept me for who i am and who i Love. I def appreciate u ladies because sometimes its hard but i am more trying to accpet the fact that it will take longer for my parent so see how happy i am in life with my SO. :love:

Joy Carter
09-19-2006, 08:17 PM
Congrats J and to the lucky lady. I'm a parent and I would accept it just because I want my childen to be happy and to keep our relationship together. BTW Hun don't forget my invite !:D

jacquelinenord
09-19-2006, 08:28 PM
dont worry joy you will get yours. itll be on holloween. its our fav holiday and i think itll be romantic. cant wait.:love:

tekla west
09-19-2006, 08:31 PM
Look, the way I see it is that you are open, you are out about your life and you are young. Parents tend to be able to get over it sooner or later, and given you have a year, you should make it unless there is some huge problem in the way. Sure your parents don’t understand you. Welcome to the club, I think we all feel that way at some point, I know I did, and I’m sure my kids did too. But we get over it too. It’s a lot easier to accept your children’s public choice then what a lot of the girls in here face, which is an SO that has found out you’ve been lying to them about your secret actions for 20+ years.

So, take it easy, find places to build bridges, and it should come along.

jacquelinenord
09-19-2006, 08:35 PM
being able to come here and find out what i should do has helped me out alot. I really appreciate it. I am as happy as i can be and everyone is right its their choice whether or not to come to my wedding. I do just have to give it time. thanks everyone.:love: :thumbsup:

Karren H
09-19-2006, 09:28 PM
Hey!!! Do what makes you happy......they will adjust..

Congratulations!!

Love Karren

angelfire
09-19-2006, 09:41 PM
I agree with basically everyone else. Invite your parents anyway, because who knows, maybe they just need some time to adjust to the thought of it. If they come they come, if they don't they don't.

And are you both gunna wear a gown? :love:

Rachel Morley
09-19-2006, 09:47 PM
Hi Jacque,

I say listen to your heart...love will conquer all sweetie. I don't want to be nasty about it, but you're not marrying your parents, and although you may love them it's not the same kind of love as being head over heels in love with your fiancee (btw I think its so cute that you refer to them as the feminine fiancee with the extra "e" :happy: )

You only get one life and it's not a dress rehearsal. I say it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't, and marrying your fiancee is I believe, is something you'll never regret...and yes you should at least invite your parents.

Take care
Love Angel

Sophia Rearen
09-20-2006, 10:35 AM
Are you both wearing dresses in the ceremony? Perhaps your parents would be more willing to come to a ceremony that was more traditional? If she wants to wear a dress, maybe you could have a separate and more private ceremony. Then, the decision would be which one to have on Halloween? Which one would you like to have more fun with? Because, after all, Halloween is typically isn't taken too seriously. How about Valentines day?

Angie G
09-20-2006, 12:07 PM
Hi Jacque yes invite them you love them a want them there, I hope they will be there for you I know i'd be there if it was my child.
you do what you think is best for you if you married a man I think you'd be sorry.
Well the very best of luck to you both of you :love: :hugs:
Angie
P.S.F i Have hot got you yet welcome to the family enjoy your stay

Joy3
09-20-2006, 12:54 PM
Follow your heart dear! It is your life! Congratulations!

Joy

Shelly Preston
09-20-2006, 01:07 PM
I would say invite them

But I would be curious if either one of them would be more accepting.

Maybe on there own they would talk and be more understanding

Which might help

Sandra
09-20-2006, 01:12 PM
By all means invite them then they will know that you want them to be there. Nigella's parents infact none of her family came to our wedding not anything to do with CDing noone new about her dressing they didn't come because they didn't like me and all Nigella said was that she wasn't bothered because the only person she wanted to turn up did.

I would sit down and have a good talk to them explain how you feel, you have your own life to lead .

KarenXDR
09-20-2006, 01:24 PM
...and give them one more chance to turn you down - otherwise they may get the impression you are sticking it to them. The point has been raised - and it's a good one - can you not have your man dress en-femme? Maybe your parents might then be willing - perhaps they fear embarrassment on your wedding day in the presence of family friends. Get married in drab - taking your folks out of the spotlight on your wedding day.

P. S. I'm up the street in Grafton MA - 40 miles away+/-. Lee51964 is closer yet. Looking for a couple of bridesmaids????

Lipstick kisses

Peggy

jacquelinenord
09-23-2006, 11:47 PM
Sorry i have not been on I have not been feeling so well. Found out the last time i was on i was haveing triplets. But thats besides the point. I am now more upset with my mom because she still doesnt understand me or who i love. Right now i know how i feel and i am still going to go through with the marriage because i love her for who she is and what she is all about I apprcieate all the comments all of u wonderful ladies have helped me out alot. thanks a bunch.

kisses

Jacque :hugs: :love:

jacquelinenord
09-27-2006, 11:26 PM
the thing of it is that my mom new my fiancee before transition and that is where our problem lies and it hurts. So right now she can only live part time enfemme she used to be able to do it full time but she doesnt want to cause more tension between my mom and my self. I tell her all the time i love her for who she is. I just hate the fact my mom only sees her as in drab mode not any other way and it hurts me. I dont know what to do any more does any one have any suggestions.

Joy Carter
09-28-2006, 02:51 AM
Sorry i have not been on I have not been feeling so well. Found out the last time i was on i was haveing triplets. But thats besides the point. I am now more upset with my mom because she still doesnt understand me or who i love. Right now i know how i feel and i am still going to go through with the marriage because i love her for who she is and what she is all about I apprcieate all the comments all of u wonderful ladies have helped me out alot. thanks a bunch.

kisses

Jacque ugs: :love:

Jacque ! Triplets wow do keep us posted on that event Hun. Maybe you can pick names using the members list. LOL. And Hun it's the person that means the most to me no matter what she or he is on the outside. We won't behaving grandchildren so If your looking do call us (wife and I ) we would love to be stand-ins.
:hugs:

jacquelinenord
09-28-2006, 09:16 AM
thanks Joy. we are both very excited.:love: