Question For Wifes of CD's

[Tanya83]

This may have been asked before but I only have a limited time to visit this site and can't read through all the posts.

Do you look at him as less of a man in any way because of his dressing?

I have read some posts of wifes actually enjoying it and helping.
I would love to hear some advise as to what a guy like me could do to get my wife to embrace my dressing.


TIA

[Sheila]

Tanya,
no way, Just love to look at the man whatever he's wearing he is so sexy, am one of the supporting SO's, enjoy shopping for him, and we have gone shopping for him once together (have only known for a couple of months).

One positive thing about his cding is it makes christmas, birthday and other days easier cos if I can't get him something for male mode can always buy for the girl in him LOL

[Tree GG]

I try to be non-judgemental about it. "Support" is still being defined - I've only known the extent of his CDing for a month or two - and I'm not sure he knows how much he wants me to participate. I've purchased things for him but we're going slow, one issue at a time.

As far as thinking less of him as a man (or person for that matter), heck no. He's just gorgeous in my eyes & has these huge, strong shoulders & hands that make me melt (he's not crazy about them for obvious reasons). I've been married to him 26+ years & he was in the closet all that time - I don't see that anything about him as changed, just me.

My observations on this site lead me to believe that the SO's that are "OK" with it are the ones fortunate to be in a relationship where the CDer & SO are willing to step back for a moment and remember the most important element - each other.

[Sandra]

Hi Tanya,

Less of a man? no way Nigella is a CDer 24/7 but underneath all the clothes and makeup the man is still there.

As for your wife we really need to know a bit more like does she let you dress when you want, how did she react when she found out?.

For some their SO never fully accepts it is just something that they can't handle for others it is ok so long as they are in control, by this they say when hubby can dress and what clothes to wear this then can lead to the SO fully accepting as it was with me and Nigella.

You need to take it slow I know you must all get fed up of hearing that word, if she shows interest then involve her as well don't just go out and buy a load of stuff ask her if she wouldn't mind helping you choose things, don't make her feel left out.

Hope this helps a bit I am sure more GGs will come into this thread and give you loads more advise.

[kathy gg]

Well since I looked to date a guy who was a cd, I dont' think any less of him what so ever. I think most human beings have things abou them which might be classified as *feminine* or *manly*, so this trait does not make anyone less of a person what so ever.

As for getting your wife to enjoy....well there are some on here who did not have an inclination to crossdressers but through love and leap of faith seem to embrace it as much as myself.

But...please know that is very very rare.

You have to think of it like this. This cd stuff brings you personal happiness and joy and fills you with something you need. Unless your wife looked to date a crossdresser when she was single and already found it to be sexy and a turn on, the chances of her embracing it are even more slim than finding a woman like myself.

I know crossdressing is very hard to compare to any hobby or actiity and without knowing your level of tgness I dont' want to make you upset by compaing it to say ....gardening.....okay...but I know women who are really really into gardening. They go to gardening conventions, they get the magazines, they participate on the message boards, scoure the net for new products, they get very happy when they recieve gifts that are for their passion, they love the feel of dirt on their fingers.......hmmm does that sound like any other sub-group ya know? But what if your wife was this hard core avid gardner who expected you to go with her to all these things, get enthused about bying a new ho {no, not hose...ho}? What if she got her feelings hurt and bent out of shape because you did not show as much excitment over her passion...oh yes, you might try to buy her some things and might even go to a convention with her, but let's be real, unless you are as passionate about this as she is, you will be bored to tears.....

So, hoping that your wife will turn into a crossdressing buddy .....well that is pretty unrealistic.

If you wanted a wife who was into this as much as you are you should have found one from the get go.

Mostly if she accepts that this is something YOU need to do to be happy and such that hopefully will be enough....and if it is not...well I really hope all the other reasons you hooked up are enough to not resent her for being uber-cd wife.

Take care..




This may have been asked before but I only have a limited time to visit this site and can't read through all the posts.

Do you look at him as less of a man in any way because of his dressing?

I have read some posts of wifes actually enjoying it and helping.
I would love to hear some advise as to what a guy like me could do to get my wife to embrace my dressing.


TIA

[Tanya83]

Mostly if she accepts that this is something YOU need to do to be happy and such that hopefully will be enough....and if it is not...well I really hope all the other reasons you hooked up are enough to not resent her for being uber-cd wife.

I guess I know she's not all of a sudden going to be all, "Let's go get you a dress" and stuff. But the point you made here speaks volumes.

Our 10th anniversary is next week and she has known about my cding since before we married. Only this is, back then I really didn't know myself or accept my feelings. So the cd in me was closeted and even neglected for several years. It's only as of the past few months that I've been "Breaking out" so to speak.

I think I could be happy if she lets me have "My time" to release. So like it's been said, I'll take it slow and see what happens.

This may seem a bit canny but I have been to therapists and counseling but could never get the nerve to bring this subject out.
Then one day I typed "Crossdressers" in google and I found this site.

Just the fact of knowing that there are many guys out there with the same feelings as me, just makes it easier to live with. In fact, I think that this site may have changed my life! Who needs shrinks...We have the internet! :happy:

Anyway, thank you to all that have taken time to respond to my question. :hugs:

[claireswife-gg]

I was married several years to my spouse without knowing, and he just started coming "out" about it all a few months ago. Went real slow at first until I breached the subject and asked if he wanted to go all out. All out ended up being his self-acceptance that he is TS and wants to transition.

So I'm not really a good one to ask the "less of a man" question to, but until the revelation of the TS status, I certainly did not think so. Now, of course, I am reshaping my thinking to think of him as her all the time. :heehee: So, that part is a bit away from what you're asking, as my goal is to accept my spouse as a woman.

However, what I have observed, both in my relationship and here, is that allowing your wife to adjust, involving her, helping her understand what drives this, and being a GOOD PARTNER in your relationship will get you very far. Being self-centered will not. This CD/TG/TS etc can be quite a shock to an unsuspecting partner, and patience, love and *honesty* is the best I can offer you for advice.

I am happy to support my spouse in the transition, but the fact that Claire has always taken time all these years to let me know how special I am to her (and I mean little things every day, not just flowers on anniversaries etc) certainly has made our relationship strong and our love as deep as possible.

Good luck to you!!

[GG Vanya]

I knew about Trudi before we became "involved" so obviously I didn't/don't think my husband is less a man. I wouldn't have continued to date him, much less be married to him. (together over 8 years, married for 7)

I've always said it takes a man with much more strength of character to admit, much less embrace, his feminine desires.

Sometimes he walks like a girl, looks like a girl and talks like a girl, but he's still my Knight In Shining Armor! :love:

If my husband told me tomorrow that he was "over" being a CD, and was one of those rare ones who can really walk away, I'd mourn/grieve the loss of Trudi.

[Annie(ozcd)]

It is so great to hear from all the supportive GGs out there - I've been married for 36 yrs. I tried to openly discuss crossdressing with my wife but got nowhere - she hates it and can't come anywhere near accepting, more's the pity.