I think that I'm going to have a purge (kinda)

[MonaSmith]

OH, I am such a drama queen.

Some things have happened in my life recently and I am thinking of having a kind of mini purge. I should clarify what I mean exactly.

In the past few months a lot of things have happened to me, both good and bad, but all of these things have only strengthened my need to be myself, to be Mona, more of the time. I know that I will never pass, and I don't believe that living full time as a woman would work for me anyway, but I need to progress, pull the two halves of me together and become comfortable at whatever level that 'Mona' and 'I' reach. That is why I feel I must purge.

I have been dressing on and off for a very long time and over the years I have accumulated many clothes and things that I have chained to Mona, that I have made, in my mind, to be important to her. Suddenly, with the changes that I have been going through, I don't feel like the same Mona anymore. The clothes that she has are not right anymore, the things that she owns are not right for her anymore. I'm not sure if I am explaining it very well but it comes down to the fact that Mona wants a purge. She wants to clear out the doubts and insecurities of her existence and start fresh and new.

Is this something that happens often? I have purged before but never from Mona's side of things. Does anyone else have experience of these feelings? Is this a damaging thing?

Mona want's to start afresh, and new. She loves her new friends and her new place in the world and can see a life ahead that is clear and happy and she want to go for it. I blame everyone on this wonderful forum for this change and I hope that my bank balance can stand it. Rest assured that Mona is here to stay, she just might be happier and more fun to be around.

Thank you for listening to me waffle on incoherently, I value all your inputs on this.

Oh, and sorry for the thread title, just a bit of attention whoring on my part.

Love you all

Mona (2.0) xx

[Tristen Cox]

UHm I think I get the picture Mona. And yes I would say it is common to refresh everything once in a while, not sure if it can be considered a purge really. If you are keeping Mona, I would call it an up grade. Boot the old out and upload a fresh program. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't spend too much:p:D And we look forward to Mona 2.0 new and improved!

Love
Tristen

[Sharon]

I understand you completely Mona. I think it's completely understandable that you're evolving as a person, your tastes in everything changing as you mature and grow more comfortable with yourself.
Some of the clothing that I have from years past are rarely worn now because I'm less infatuated with the over-the-top frilly, totally impractical things and more interested in being "real".
Good luck to you Sweetie and I'm anxious to watch from my little corner as you become who you really are.
Love,
Sharon

[Wendy me]

mona this purge thing..............my thoughts any way purge away yes i said purge away............let me go one step more put all the items in a box or boxes lable them purge put them away for at least a while then go through them latter if you still feel the same latter its a good thing if you want to reclame them or some things thay are still with you....................

my thoughts

[Julie]

Go for it Mona it sounds a great idea, it'll be like a butterfly emerging anew from the cocoon.

Check with Beach Chick first about changing the 'Snow White' look though. :)

JJ

[Sandra H]

I understand, think it more of an updating of your wardrobe rather than a purge. We all need to do this every once in a while, both men and women. Just imagine what we would look like in our 1980’s cloths. :eek: I dread to think. So throw out the old, enjoy shopping for the new. Have fun. ;)

[MonaSmith]

Thank you girls,
I'm not sure if I explained it all that well ,but you seem to have understood anyway. It might just be the start of the new year, or the recent death in the family or the new person in my life who is so very supportive of me, but I just feel like starting anew.

Mona will still be here, She isn't going anywhere. It is more a purge of the old things and way of thinking than anything else. My personality won't change, but the other stuff will change to match it, to suit it better. It's not all that stright in my head yet but I just got out of the bath, looked at my clothes and didn't want to wear any of it. It didn't seem like mine anymore. I want things that are mine, and they didn't seem right.


Go for it Mona it sounds a great idea, it'll be like a butterfly emerging anew from the cocoon.

Check with Beach Chick first about changing the 'Snow White' look though. :)

JJLol, I will Julie, I sooo don't want to get on the wrong side of my Beach Chick. I need the adoration.

[Beach Chick]

Ms. Smith

Our orders and receipts department has received your request to upgrade from MonaSmith 1.0 to MonaSmith 2.0.

Please be aware that MonaSmith 2.0 is a beta product. While fully functional, it has not been fully tested.

Nonetheless, we have confidence that MonaSmith 2.0 will soon become the leading product in its field. We believe it has a higher rate of confidence, and a lower potential for crashes.

To upgrade, you must meet the following requirements:

1 G of closet space

6 G of credit card space

A Cover Girl, MAC or Sephora processor, highest performance possible

Sufficient Memory to purge while maintaining MonaSmith 1.0 operability

Higher Speed CD Drive

'Broad' band connection


If you meet these requirements, you will be able to install and run MonaSmith 2.0 without incident.

Of course, our support team is standing by 24/7 to assist you in your upgrade.

Regards,

Beach Chick Tech LLC

[Julie York]

I think I know what you mean. Moods change and the style you wish to represent yourself by change also. But I'd put them all in a box sealed up and stored. Then if you do miss something, it has not gone forever.

Then again...If you have anything my size... :D

[Paula A]

Mona;
Sounds like your tastes are changing it happens with everyone its called change. Don't sweat it, now is a good time to go after all of those after christmas clearance sales. Just remember that even with a whole "G" of credit card space (good one Beach Chick, Now that's funny) that after you fill it up you'll have to pay it off.
I was shopping two weeks ago and i was in one of my favorite stores this GG comes in and she proceeds to clear the racks, it was amazing to watch. She saw me watching her shop, I was envious really, I said to her. "That really looks like fun to be able to clear the racks and and spend the afternoon in the dressing room trying it all on". I mean she must of had two arm loads of outfits to mix and match. the sales people were just comming over and taking all of here choices to the dressing rooms So I ask her "fight with your boy friend or did you get a promotion, there must be something behind your shopping spree?"
Guess what she said.....
"I just love to shop and keep up on the latest fashion and looks, I was in my closest and I just did not have anything in there that excites me anymore and I figured it was time for a change in wardrobe"
She also looked like she could afford it too.
The moral of the story is...
That change is inevitable and your feelings are normal, have fun shopping.

[DonnaT]

I agree with the others.

Take what you don't want, a little at a time, and donate to charity if it will make you feel better about losing it. Or sell it. But don't just toss the clothes out.

However, make sure you really want to get rid of the things you do get rid of. I had a maroon Velvet dress that I got rid of a few years ago and now wish I still had it.

And no, purging is not damaging, except to the bank account maybe.

[JoannaDees]

Mona, Mona, Mona. It's called "shopping fever", silly girl. Out with the old, in with the new. ;)

Joanna

[Marlene4a]

Hi Mona

I could not add more to what Sharon, Tristin, and Beach Chick has already said.
But it is normal to upgrade because as time goes on our tastes change.

May the "upgrade clothing gods" be with you in the coming new year.

By the way Mona, you have inspired me to do the same. (After getting rid of some holiday cheer pounds I have put on recently of course)

[Sharon]

I agree with the others.

Take what you don't want, a little at a time, and donate to charity if it will make you feel better about losing it.

Mona -- did I ever tell you my middle name is Charity? :D

[MonaSmith]

Thanks a million girls,

You are all encouraging me to go ahead, and that's what I think I will do. Starting from the bottom up, so to speak, with underwear.

I really feel that it is more than just an update of style/taste. I look at the clothes and they don't feel like mine anymore. They feel like my drab clothes. I just want them gone. There are a few new things that I may Keep, shoes especially, but otherwise it just feels like I'm still dressing up in my mothers/sisters clothes, even though they never were theirs. I can't really explain, as you can probably tell, and I'm starting to doubt myself for thinking about doing it, but I must go ahead with it or I will never get to be the Mona that I want to be. I know intellectually what works on me and what doesn't, but I still cling to the girly dresses and complicated and inappropriate underwear that I have no real need for. I want to dress like a real woman, and feel like a real woman, not a parody of one.I'm sorry for talking such nonsense to you all and I really appreciate all your kind feedback. I will sort myself out and streamline my life to accommodate Mona and treat her more fairly.

Thank you all

Love

Mona xx

[Rikki]

Mona
Go for it girl it sounds like you are just growing and like allthe girls have said it is change. Just get rid of a few things at a time , that way you can still dress the same way. Myself, I would get rid of one or two things, then replace them with something more with the times. I could never wear one of my skirts that I had ten years ago because they are outa style. So enjoy your shopping.

Rikki

[Amelie]

This sounds like a change more than a purge. It sounds like you're going to the next level in your life. And at this level you must look the part and not be reminded of the last level of Mona. I have done this, but I did not throw away my old clothes. Because I went back. I was a punk, then came a time I thought I would sort of grow up. So I started to get what can be described as nice clothes, some dresses even had sparlkle like glitter on them and sequins. This lasted about a month, I went back to punk(goth). I am happy here, this is how I am inside, i am not a sequin wearer.
It migh be different for you. You might also be changing on the inside and you want the outside to reflect this change. Then again I could be wrong.
Whatever the outcome, just stay happy with yourself.
Love Amelie

Fashion is a form of ugliness, so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.-?

[MonaSmith]

It migh be different for you. You might also be changing on the inside and you want the outside to reflect this change. Then again I could be wrong.
Whatever the outcome, just stay happy with yourself.
Love Amelie
Hi Amelie, and thank you.
You are right that this is a change on the inside. It's not about updating my fashion, it's about being true to who I really am inside. It's kind of like growing up, when you come to the time that you want to put your toys aside. It feels like that to me. I think that Mona is growing up and becoming comfortable in this skin (even though it's a bit hairy). She wants to stop 'playing dress up from her mums wardrobe' and grow up and find herself an identity. As I said before, I'm really having a hard time explaining it. I'm not even sure what it is all about myself, yet. Another step in the journey, with good friends along for advice and company.

Mona xx

[SilkenPrincess]

I couldn't help it!
Look, Mona, I know we don't know each other, and I'm new here to the forum, but you said something that I just can't let go unchallenged, even at the risk of being ignored by all.


[QUOTE=MonaSmith]I know that I will never pass,
Mona (2.0) xx[/QUOTE


My situation doesn't allow me the freedom to live as I would like, but I can still hope, can't I? At least that's what I thought until I read your post. Mona, if I need to look better than you do to have any chance at passing, then all hope is lost for me!


Allow me to be bold for a second, "Have you lost your marbles,girl?"


There, now I feel better!

Will someone please tell me? Am I outta line, or is Mona going blind?

Love SilkenPrincess

[MonaSmith]

My situation doesn't allow me the freedom to live as I would like, but I can still hope, can't I? At least that's what I thought until I read your post. Mona, if I need to look better than you do to have any chance at passing, then all hope is lost for me!


Allow me to be bold for a second, "Have you lost your marbles,girl?"


There, now I feel better!

Will someone please tell me? Am I outta line, or is Mona going blind?

Love SilkenPrincessHi there SilkenPrincess,
You are not out of line at all, and I thank you for the compliment.

Passing is a lot more than just the way you look, and you can't really judge how I look normally by a very small, flattering photo, it is also, if not moreso, about attitude and confidence. Both of which I lack. If I had those two things in abunbance it wouldn't really matter to me how I looked. Maybe I'll get more confident as I progress, I do hope so, but if not I am happy to go just as far as I am able to, for now at least.

Don't get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to other girls on this, or any other, crossdressing forum or site. It is a fight that you can never win. There is always going to be a younger, better looking, more convincing crossdresser out there, it's true for all of us. We are always our own harshest critics.

Please, never lose hope.

Love Mona xx