Why

[sherell]

Why do I feel the need to purge after sex. With in a day or less sometimes the feeling to dress allways begins to build again. Is it because of guilt.

[Rachel Morley]

Why do I feel the need to purge after sex. With in a day or less sometimes the feeling to dress allways begins to build again. Is it because of guilt.
It could be, but IMHO it's more to do with sexual frustration. When I first started doing this (20 years ago) my dressing had a strong connection with sex. It's not like this nowadays, but back then when I felt like I needed self release it was always better if I was dressed. Afterwards, and I had satisfied myself, I then wasn't the slightest bit interested in doing anything girly. Maybe you're combining the two. Your dressing does has a sexual connection and when you're not sexually frustrated you don't feel like dressing, then add to that some guilt feelings about wanting/needing to wear women's clothes, and there's your reason to purge....but only after sex. :2c:

[jeniinnylons]

Why do I feel the need to purge after sex. With in a day or less sometimes the feeling to dress allways begins to build again. Is it because of guilt.

I guess for me to answer this I would need to know if the sex was with a woman or man?

Personally I have never felt a need to purge after sex with a woman.

I have had the idea of having sex with a man and If I felt I did something wrong I myself would prob. want to purge putting the CDing with the sex whih I never would have done had it not been for the CDing.

My thoughts.

[Karren H]

Here's a solution......stop having sex!!! And keep dressing!!! Works for me!! hehehe

Love Karren

[dazzed]

Its the way most of the usa thinks about it rubbing off on you .f---k them.I like it and Im not repeat not throwing any lingerie away.Untill its frazzled that is.

[ColleenCD]

Sherell,

I too have had these feelings of guilt following an intimate session. For me, this seemed to be deriving from successful male "abilities" at odds with a desire to be feminine, The satisfaction of male accomplishment conflicts with the unmet desire to enjoy the pretty, soft, feminine apparel. The two seem to combat eachother, and the societal norm pressures to fit in wins out over the desires.

Consequently, the guilt leads us to a decision to purge. The problem is that the DESIRE WILL RETURN. It cannot be dismissed. If your bank is strong, then you can re-purchase everything later. If not, then you need to put them in a safe location for future recovery.

In time the guilt associated with the sex seems to subside to the point I want to dress more after sex. Strange the way life changes us.

Colleen

[AmberTG]

I used to feel that way after satisfying myself when dressed, it was a guilt thing. When I was much younger, cding, along with bondage, was always a sexual trigger for me. I used to get undressed immediately after the "event". As I got older, I found that it didn't always turn me on, It gave me more peace of mind, was a destressor. I started leaving my fem clothes on after an "event" and found that I was more comfortable in them when sex was not involved. Cding doesn't turn me on at all anymore, it feels natural now, makes me feel more like me, an expression of what's in my head.
But then, in the last 10 years or so, I've been able to seperate my bondage fetish from my CDing, they used to be closely linked, and bondage was my earliest turn on in life, factually from before puberty. How that got linked to CDing, I don't know, but there was always both involved. When I seperated them, I found that the CDing was not the sexual trigger, the bondage was.
Then there's the fact that I always wished that I was a girl. I dont really know if it's because of the CDing or if the CDing is caused by my gender issues, still haven't quite figured that one out.
Amber

[Robin Leigh]

Why do I feel the need to purge after sex. With in a day or less sometimes the feeling to dress allways begins to build again. Is it because of guilt.

We were discussing this topic just the other day in a thread called "Tell me about myself" (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=569559#post569559). From the thread:


One technique that can help us erotic CDers to reduce the post-dressing comedown is to try & do some "normal" things when you get dressed up, don't keep it as a purely erotic activity. This can also help to reduce nerves when dressed up outside, or when trying to buy femme things.

We tend to condition ourselves to be turned on when we dress up. Breaking this loop helps us to integrate our femme side into the rest of our personality.

Robin

[Karen Johnson]

I went through the same thing. The minute "it's" over the clothes couldn't come off fast enough. I figured it was some kind of chemical change, a hormonal thing maybe.

It seems that the more comfortable I've become with myself as a tv the less intense this need to get out of character becomes. Lately I've kept my clothes on after sex.

A good question that I've often pondered.

[RikkiOfLA]

I, too, used to be a "purge queen." When I bought something, I'd rush to bring it home, try it on, look in the mirror (to see how it looked on me), and then I'd almost always pleasure myself.

Immediately after, I'd be hit with really strong feelings of shame, guilt, and fear that someone else would see me. I would purge the object. Usually merely throwing it away would not be enough. I'd need to destroy it, usually by cutting it up with a scissors. And of course, promise myself that I would never do this again. A promise I could keep only until I wanted to dress again. I did resist for a year once. Sometimes, it would only be for a few minutes. I can recall dumpster diving to retrieve and wear again, a pair of pantyhose that I'd destroyed with a scissors!

Ugh!

The main problem was that I hadn't ever accepted myself as a crossdresser. I was refusing to admit that I like to do this. Even harder to accept for me was that my reasons for dressing are not all sexual. Yes, there is some gender dysphoria going on here and I really do feel more comfortable in women's clothes.

So, if you think it is guilt that drives you to purge, you are probably right.

The biggest cost of purging wasn't financial; it was emotional. Purging really did a number on my self esteem. I thought of myself as a disgusting pervert, and focused way too much attention on this aspect of my life. The desire for dressing and the hatred of it became an obsession, a vicious cycle. At a time when I should have been going to grad school or building up a really successful career.

When I got married, I thought I was cured of crossdressing. The desire actually went away for a couple of years. Then, about a year after our wedding, it came back. I came out to my wife, and she accepted it. That was the greatest thing in my life, because if she could accept it, the purging stopped. For the first time in my life, I actually kept my finery in a drawer! I remember the first time dressed with her very well. We had both worn pantyhose during foreplay. We had both enjoyed that! Wow! After sex, I had to decide, "Now, what do I do with my pantyhose? Purge them, right? Wait a minute, now do I have to explain purging to her too? That would really be pushing it too far too fast, I think! Oh, wait! I can put my pantyhose in this empty drawer right here!" And that's what I did. And with that, the purging came to an end.

Self-acceptance took much longer. It was fifteen years after our wedding that I finally went out in public dressed (and loved it). But at least, I was moving in the right direction finally. You may never go that far, and that's fine. But purging was, for me, really self-destructive. Never again!

Rikki

[AprilMae]

There is also the fact that after sex the Male produces a hormone that depresses the sex drive temporarily o allow for "Recovery". This results in the bane of all women's lives, the man falling asleep after having sex. In some cases the depressant could act stronger than normal.

[carolynhcd]

honey, you are a GIRL! Get over yourself and learn to love who you are. And remember that it is so expensive tor replace women's clothing.

[julie w]

I take it that you cant dress and go out when you want ? if you could you
wouldnt feel that way , when i was younger and could only dress for short
times I did the same , now I dont

[mikala]

I would say that 20 years ago my desire to have sex while or just after being dressed was real strong

But now I just like being dressed

[MarinaTwelve200]

Guilt? Hardly. Most of us have come to terms with the "rightness" or "wrongness" issue of their CDing LONG ago.

I think that the "feeling" we get is directly associated with the sexual urge. If we Take CDing out of the factors, you will notice that we dont feel like having sex at all anymore----After the sex act is concluded. The "Urge" has spent it self for the moment.

I think that this is the same response when we have CD involved sex----The URGE in the CD department leaves us also, as it is a PART of the sex for us.---So it would be the "normal thing" not to want to be in the CD mode when the sex act is finished.

Note also that The CD urge comes BACK close to the same time the URGE to engage in sex comes back again.----Obviously for us, CD and Sex are intertwined and wax and waine in conjunction with each other. The CD is the EXTRA baggage us CDers carry with us to the sex act, that non CD folks do not have.----We CDers are just more complex , is all.

[sherell]

I agree with most of your comments ladys and thanks. I believe your right about changeing with age' Sex is less frequent and my desire to dress grows.
Marina Twelve reply about the sexuall urge is true but I never fill guilty after sex with a women. Also I never purge my clothes now I love them to mutch.