Jenn2716
09-24-2006, 12:30 AM
Hi there,
I'm sure this topic has been posted before but I wanted to see if anyone had any new opinions.
About a week ago, I posted a thread about my experience of stopping by work after hours to run an errand and then going to the grocery store while wearing women's boots with heels and painted nails. I felt great, but at the same time I felt normal or at least comfortable with my appearnce like this. And my wife was completely ok with this.
So this got me thinking. At this point I feel pretty comfortable with people seeing in femme clothes minus the breast forms and wig. I mean its just me, wearing femme clothes. It's almost as if the realization hit me, "Why should I care what people think. Their thoughts can't hurt me!". So I began thinking to myself, maybe I'll wear women's boots to work on friday (this past friday) and make it a weekly thing. Instead of Jeans friday at work, it will be femme shoes on friday. I work in an office with 4 other guys and while they are not super macho homophobes, they can be a little weirded out by "alternative people" (based on some of the conversations around the office).
So I start getting ready for work this past friday: Men's jeans, t-shirt and low heeled women's boots, very dark red, almost burgandy. So I asked my wife if it looked ok. Well, she let me know very quickly that she didn't think I should wear it to work in front of the guys. I was a little surprised, because she had ok'd me going to the grocery store the previous week, where I walked around in women's boots in front of dozens of people. But I didn't say anything just took them off and went to work in men's sneakers instead.
Anyway, later that night. I realized that I had been in a crabby mood all day and my wife had been noticing this. After being very short with each other a couple of times, I finally told her that I was upset that she put the stops to me wearing women's boots that morning. I told her I didn't understand why I could where them out shopping in a crowded store but not in a small office in front of 4 guys. Especially, if I had finally gained the confidence and self-acceptance to go for it. I mean they are MY co-workers. She said that they would definitely notice I was wearing women's boots and that talk would begin circulating throughout the company building and eventually to another company building where she works. She said she can't handle people staring at her and gossiping about the fact that she is married to a crossdresser or a freak who wears women's shoes/boots. She was ok with me going to the grocery store cause there was only a slight chance that someone we knew might be there and see me. If I went to work in femme items then we'd definitely be outed. We argured back and forth about this for about an hour and in the end I agreed not to mix my femme and drab stuff in public.
But I told her I still don't understand why she is ok with somebody finding out about me by chance. But is horrified that I would choose to intentionally expose family or co-workers to my crossdressing tendancies. As long as she loves and supports me (which I know that she does), I really can't understand her fears. I mean I thought that if I ever got to the point where I accpeted who I was as a crossdresser and didn't care what other people thought of me, then I would be so much better off. I am finally ridding myself of being ashamed, only to discover that my wife is nowhere close to letting go of that shame.
Maybe she saved me from making a huge mistake. Maybe I'm just in a really self-absorbed state of cding. Maybe I'll look back at this event in a month or two and shake my head and say "What was I thinking?". Who knows.
All I know is, that right now I feel more ok with who I am than I ever have in the past. I feel that I finally have a balance of my masculine and femme sides, and I just want to represent that with how I dress. If it comes off as a metrosexual man, or a androgynous guy, or a guy in a skirt or a full head to toe crossdresser, then so be it.
I love my wife, so I will let things stand as is. Her support and affection means more to me than anything. I already consider myself lucky to have found her and a part of me wants to kick myself for continuely pushing my cding boundries.
Has anyone out there successfully combined your obviously femme and drab items? Have your family and co-workers hasseled you over it? Am I nuts for even thinking this sort of look is even acceptable?
I'm sure this topic has been posted before but I wanted to see if anyone had any new opinions.
About a week ago, I posted a thread about my experience of stopping by work after hours to run an errand and then going to the grocery store while wearing women's boots with heels and painted nails. I felt great, but at the same time I felt normal or at least comfortable with my appearnce like this. And my wife was completely ok with this.
So this got me thinking. At this point I feel pretty comfortable with people seeing in femme clothes minus the breast forms and wig. I mean its just me, wearing femme clothes. It's almost as if the realization hit me, "Why should I care what people think. Their thoughts can't hurt me!". So I began thinking to myself, maybe I'll wear women's boots to work on friday (this past friday) and make it a weekly thing. Instead of Jeans friday at work, it will be femme shoes on friday. I work in an office with 4 other guys and while they are not super macho homophobes, they can be a little weirded out by "alternative people" (based on some of the conversations around the office).
So I start getting ready for work this past friday: Men's jeans, t-shirt and low heeled women's boots, very dark red, almost burgandy. So I asked my wife if it looked ok. Well, she let me know very quickly that she didn't think I should wear it to work in front of the guys. I was a little surprised, because she had ok'd me going to the grocery store the previous week, where I walked around in women's boots in front of dozens of people. But I didn't say anything just took them off and went to work in men's sneakers instead.
Anyway, later that night. I realized that I had been in a crabby mood all day and my wife had been noticing this. After being very short with each other a couple of times, I finally told her that I was upset that she put the stops to me wearing women's boots that morning. I told her I didn't understand why I could where them out shopping in a crowded store but not in a small office in front of 4 guys. Especially, if I had finally gained the confidence and self-acceptance to go for it. I mean they are MY co-workers. She said that they would definitely notice I was wearing women's boots and that talk would begin circulating throughout the company building and eventually to another company building where she works. She said she can't handle people staring at her and gossiping about the fact that she is married to a crossdresser or a freak who wears women's shoes/boots. She was ok with me going to the grocery store cause there was only a slight chance that someone we knew might be there and see me. If I went to work in femme items then we'd definitely be outed. We argured back and forth about this for about an hour and in the end I agreed not to mix my femme and drab stuff in public.
But I told her I still don't understand why she is ok with somebody finding out about me by chance. But is horrified that I would choose to intentionally expose family or co-workers to my crossdressing tendancies. As long as she loves and supports me (which I know that she does), I really can't understand her fears. I mean I thought that if I ever got to the point where I accpeted who I was as a crossdresser and didn't care what other people thought of me, then I would be so much better off. I am finally ridding myself of being ashamed, only to discover that my wife is nowhere close to letting go of that shame.
Maybe she saved me from making a huge mistake. Maybe I'm just in a really self-absorbed state of cding. Maybe I'll look back at this event in a month or two and shake my head and say "What was I thinking?". Who knows.
All I know is, that right now I feel more ok with who I am than I ever have in the past. I feel that I finally have a balance of my masculine and femme sides, and I just want to represent that with how I dress. If it comes off as a metrosexual man, or a androgynous guy, or a guy in a skirt or a full head to toe crossdresser, then so be it.
I love my wife, so I will let things stand as is. Her support and affection means more to me than anything. I already consider myself lucky to have found her and a part of me wants to kick myself for continuely pushing my cding boundries.
Has anyone out there successfully combined your obviously femme and drab items? Have your family and co-workers hasseled you over it? Am I nuts for even thinking this sort of look is even acceptable?