Most frightening experience... of the before it happens kind.

[Sam-antha]

Once upon a time the most frighteningly difficult thing for me to do was to go out of the front door dressed. I passed that test and the next most difficult wa climbing onto a bus and getting the ticket for the journey.
My supremely difficult one was going down to the dining room for breakfast in a strange hotel. Be it small or large. (The hotel not the breakfast)

[Carroll]

Going outside and to the back yard.....passed
Going outside ti get the mail..............passed
going to a cd/tg meeting..................passed
Driving the car to get to the meeting..passed
coming out to my mother..................passed
telling my bands members.................FAILED:D

[Sam-antha]

Carroll, that is the idea. I am so sure that there a few other folk out and about who have a series like yours.
Lets have you....
~Samm

[Joy Carter]

No one has ever seen me really dressed (Halloween) so I'm coming out here with a gurl friend soon wish me luck. I'll have pictures one way or another, be they digital or in crayon LOL.:devil:

[Karren H]

Checking into the Hotel enfemme has always been a goal, be it scarry, for me!!! Hopefully this fall I just do it!! :)

Love Karren

[carol ann]

By all your criteria, I am an abject failure

[Vivian Best]

Good question Sam-antha,

First time I was able to completely dress with make-up and everything.
First time I stepped out the door with femme underclothes under drab.
First time I drove the car completely dressed.
First time I walked up to a store dressed and the clerk invited me in calling me misses.
First time I walked into the Post Office completely dressed.

[Sam-antha]

Karen, I hope you get there. Choice of hotel can help your confidence,
but really they are all much of a muchness. I think that shopping and buying is as big a challenge.
Get there, Karren, you can you know. (In you own words :"Hehe")
Carol, never mind your definitions...... did you try to do any of those things or are you still wanting to get out ?
Please do go and try. Some advice coming up later in this "programme"
Vivian, did you try often, or did you just go and do those things ?
~Samm

[Karren H]

Karen, I hope you get there. Choice of hotel can help your confidence,
but really they are all much of a muchness. I think that shopping and buying is as big a challenge.
Get there, Karren, you can you know. (In you own words :"Hehe")
~Samm


Thanks!! Shopping is quite easy....you just walk in like you own the place!! lol And since your there a sort time.....but checking into a hotel and staying for a few days.....you pretty much outed yourself to whole bunch of people that you be spending time with....<shiver>.

:D

Love Karren

[sandra-leigh]

Checking into the Hotel enfemme has always been a goal, be it scarry, for me!!!

How are you planning to work the ID? (In another posting you mentioned that it's all cash for Karren, so you won't have the "just hand over a credit card" option.)

I don't have very much in the way of ID at all -- no credit cards, no driver's license. I end up having to use my photo-id from work, which is most definitely of a male, and of course gives my male name and exactly where I work :(

[EricaCD]

By all your criteria, I am an abject failure

The criteria and goals of another crossdresser are meaningless. This is not a test, nor is it a contest! If you are comfortable with your dressing, and the way it fits into your life, that is terrific. And if that means you never let another living sould see you in fem clothes, what of it? Crossdressers don't get merit badges for checking off a list of standard CD activities.

That said, if you feel an urge to get out, be seen, interact, etc. I think Samantha's original post is instructive. If that "first fear" is the only thing keeping you out of sight, then you can take a great deal of comfort and, dare I say, inspiration by reading the stories of other CDs here who have experienced the same fear, taken that first step, and discovered that the world did not come to an end when venturing out.

Erica

[sandra-leigh]

Going outside and to the back yard.....passed

Does "at night" count? :)

I have been in my yard with obviously femme attire, fully dressed a small number of times, without makeup or wig more times (but still not a lot.) I basically don't care what the people across the back alley think of me; the neighbours on one side happened to see me dressed downtown and recognized me (and were cool about it -- and do still talk to me). But I only go out if I think the neighbour on the other side isn't around.


Going outside ti get the mail..............passed

I just have to open my front door and stick my arm over to the box, so this doesn't really apply for me. More of a test for me was picking up some fallen branches in the daylight in the front yard, wearing a denim skirt (that could be mistaken for shorts.) I have gone house to on-street cab fully dressed.


going to a cd/tg meeting..................passed

LOL. I barged in on them, bypassing the usual screening procedures. But it took a few meetings before I got to trust the people's discretion.


Driving the car to get to the meeting..passed

No car -- but I've taken the city bus and bicycled dressed.


coming out to my mother..................passed

Ummm, that's a tough one. I don't think I've ever even indicated to my mother that I'm no longer a virgin. If something like that can get politely skipped over for 20 years, it's not so easy to say, "Say, Ma -- I look better in a dress than you or Sis do!"

[Sam-antha]

Everybody, this thread is not about passing..... this thread is about fears, real or imagined involving dressing.
What were the big fears and hold backs in order of magnitude, if you have more than one big one and we surely all do have more than one. The first going out fear gets replaced by another more ambitious one une until you go out normally, without fears or timidity.
Tess, what is this about needing an ID ? Surely in this enlightened time yo do not need to prove who yo legally are before bedding down for the night in exhange for cash ?
Karren, who said anything about staying for more than one night / That is ambition... (to date I have not stayed for more than one night but that will shortly change... there is a Miss TV Scotland coming up soon, miles away and that will require a twonight stay...)... anyway you are only in an hotel to use the bedroom, mirrors and etc. Eating can be outside except perhaps breakfast.
I have to confess that I have checked into an hotel, (pre-booked) but always chickened out of going to the dining room dressed. That is what emergency jeans are for.
~Samm
PS Do not forget the adhesive remover material, that can be important. Heh ?
~S~

[gennee]

The most difficult time for me was the first time. It has been easier since then. One of my goals is to be out all day dressed.

Gennee

:D

[carol ann]

My failure arises out of the fact that although my wife is just about aware that i have some feminine things she has made it clear that a crossdressing husband is not something she wants to have in her life. Consequently, because I love her and the family very much, I must rermain in the closet with the door fairly tightly shut. The only door I have opened is to wear lingerie under my male clothes quite regularly

[EricaCD]

Carol Ann, I don't see how that can be perceived as a "failure"! :)

[sandra-leigh]

Everybody, this thread is not about passing..... this thread is about fears, real or imagined involving dressing.

It's not so easy to get on a crowded city bus all dressed. A mall is much easier, since you can always keep moving and no-one has a chance to really look at you, but on a city bus the same person might be sitting directly facing you for close to half an hour. And if you are starting out near work, one of the riders might be a co-worker, and if you are heading towards home then one of the riders might be your neighbour. (If the same people passed you in the mall, they might just think, "Nah, couldn't be; I didn't see clearly", but there isn't much to do on a bus...)

Even going dressed from the front door to the cab makes for tension: there you are, dolled up, clearly going from your house to the cab that's attracting attention just because cabs do. There are no real trees or fences in the front yards of my neighbourhood; anyone within the limits of eyesight could see during the day -- and the streetlight also happens to be right there for those nacturnal returns.


Tess, what is this about needing an ID ? Surely in this enlightened time yo do not need to prove who yo legally are before bedding down for the night in exhange for cash ?

I don't visit a lot of hotels or motels, but every one I've gone to in Canada or the USA over the last decade or so has asked for ID. The hotels want a handle on you in case you use the minibar or make phone calls or wreck the place. It is a pain to get a hotel without using a credit card; you can expect a minimum $50 "damage deposit", if they'll accept you at all. The motels... I'm not sure why for the motels, as they don't seem to care what your ID says as long as you provide it; they don't give any hastle about paying cash though. I haven't tried any motels that "rent by the hour".
Small Bed and Breakfast places do not seem to ask for ID though.

Booking accomedation across border from Canada into the USA is problematic: when you fill out the border crossing card, you are supposed to write down where you are staying, and "I'll grab a room somewhere" is not a happy-making answer. Particularily not if you have easily transportable skills like computer expertise and they get the idea that maybe you're going down to work. Which is what the immigration people always used to suspect me of when I was going to visit my gf in that hotbed of computer jobs, North Dakota.

These days, if you are flying in to the USA, "pre-clearing" customs, it wouldn't surprise me at all if the security people checked up (even if only random sample) to confirm hotel reservations.

[Sam-antha]

Carol Ann, there is no failure in that, just unavoidable circs. Keep on trying there are always breaks, just be ready for them when whe is out or going tobe out...
Tess, being on the city bus is not the problem, strangely on a bus or a train, nobody looks at anybody, unless one is at a table seat, siting opposite someone. Even then, people do not really look, after the first glance.
Your prob is the neighbours, they are difficult and having a street light just outside... well, just go out, ...dive out, all they want to see is somebody going to the cab. They do not really care who or what the who looks like. They are just harmlessly curious, there is a cab, how long will it wait, is it for a drunk, can the drunk walk straight !!
But the Hotels, OMG the land of the free...
Get a credit card name change to your initial and surname without the Mr / Mrs bit. They do such changes on request.
One thing that I have discovered it just do whatever it is. If you are afraid of a taxi driver's reactions, get out and stop one in thestreet. it is rather difficult not to get in when you have obviously waved him to stop..
going out is like that, once out you are there and part of the whole moving people picture.
Get out folks.
Huggzzes and enjoy
~Samm

[Brianna Lovely]

I was not going to post, but changed my mind.
I think that I was afraid of every situation where someone could have seen me "dressed".

I found this forum and after reading a few posts, joined.

Although I think some of the gurls posting may exagerate their experiences, in general, the many positive posts gave me the courage to go out. I think I've done, in months, what many gurls have taken years to accomplish. So, I guess that I'm really brave (giggle) or just don't care anymore.

I want to thank all of you for giving me the self confidence to walk out the door and be who I am.

Hugs,
Brianna

[Karren H]

How are you planning to work the ID? (In another posting you mentioned that it's all cash for Karren, so you won't have the "just hand over a credit card" option.)

I don't have very much in the way of ID at all -- no credit cards, no driver's license. I end up having to use my photo-id from work, which is most definitely of a male, and of course gives my male name and exactly where I work :(


Problem that I have is that the hotels I frequent all know my male side....and our travel dept makes all the reservations!! So unless I'm going somewhere not on company business, I't won't be easy...

Love Karren

[Sam-antha]

Briana, we are glad that you have been out. Care to tell us, or would you like to keep it to yourself for a wee while yet. Cherish it in private is probably what I would do if I was you after a first time "binge".
Karren, I think that you will just have to forget the expense account hotels and go pay for the "dressy" ones.
Do not forget to book into the ones your company books for yo tho' otherwise the accounts dept will ask questions will they not ?

[KELLYANN]

Brianna, Good For You Girl You Go!

[stephanie100]

going out town passed
outside back yard passed
coming out to SO passed
traveling on train passed ....:happy:
not been to TS/TV meeting yet that is my biggest fear meeting other CDs face to face for the first time dressed:sad:
Steph

[Sam-antha]

You will be surprised at the happy place it is. I only know one, and the members are a mixed bunch. all very accepting of a new face.
It is like most things, difficult to get started, and by tht Imean difficult to get started on the road out of the house.
Go
~Samm

[janelle]

Hello Hun, i use to have all kinds of fears like you until i accepted myself for who & what i am. Since that time i do basically anything i want to. I guess what i am trying to say is believe in yourself, hold your head up high & go out & show everyone how proud you are to be a woman.
Good luck dear & enjoy,life is to short not to.
:love: Janelle

[MJ]

OK girls been there done that go the bumper sticker the problem is i got most of my id change over but my British passport and my Canadian permanent resident card thanks to hrt i don't look like my old self and trying to prove that that was me is hard and the money another $ 300 bucks shoulda stayed a CD this is getting damm expensive

[Bunny_B]

I think that right now, I'm to scared to do most of the things mentioned in this thread. In my mind I'm very happy for people to see me (from a distance, maybe..) but I think that'd be only if I could look at myself in the mirror and actually 'fool myself'.

But to be honest, I wouldn't want to do a lot of these things, either. I'm very happy with Bunny being a private thing right now.


But in the future, who knows..

[Sam-antha]

Do your thing and be happy, but do not let it restrict you.

[Erica4U]

After seeing pictures of Karen Hutton and EricaCD (I'm fond of that name ) You look terrific! very pretty and femme and sexy as well! I feel that if I had that appearance I would have the confidence to venture out and enjoy being outside in my favorite dress or skirt or blouse and heels etc> I have never been out! I of course like many here have worn bras, panties and stockings under our Men Clothes! Yuk! I am too masculine looking! I see many ladies here who have the guts and wherewithall to be who they are and without fear or exception and I salute you and honor you! however, many still look very manly in their persona and as for myself! I guess I will never venture out! I am a very, very lonely crossdresser. As a CD I suppose I do want to go further in that I want real breasts and being a transsexual is what I so wish for! I want feminine facial Surgery and the whole Shabang! I am in my 50s now and I regret I did not follow my heart 30 years ago when I knew then I was female in my heart! I have driven a car with my heels and stockings on under pants while wearing a bra under a shirt! Not good enough for me though! If there are any understanding women or CD's or TS's in the Cleveland area, please seek me out and help me be free!

[trannie T]

Leaving the hotel dressed, done.
Going to a bar dressed, done.
Having a stranger take my photo while dressed, done.
Driving while dressed, done.
Being stopped at a DUI checkpoint while dressed, done.
Grocery shopping while dressed, done.
Going out for dinner while dressed, done.
Going to a support group meeting while dressed, done.
Going to the mall while dressed, done.
Riding the bus while dressed, done.

Not too bad for someone who still considers herself a closet case.

[Sam-antha]

TrannieT you do seem to be living life to the full. Good on you.
~Samm

[Annette_boy]

Hi Everyone
Lets see gone out dressed .......done
driven dressed ..........done
Gone to bar dressed........done
TS/TG/CD Girls Night out.......done
Having traffic accident dressed ......done
Arrested and lockedup dressed........done
hadfriends bail me out of jail dressed done
so much for the closet now "giggles" was in slam 35 hours total survived intact
Could have done without the last three items though.
Love and Hugs
Annette

[Amy Hepker]

I am a truck driver and I sleep enfemme, the scaryest was getting out of the truck in a truck stop hoping nobody would see me. I had to get out for something I had forgotten outside behind the cab. It was a Flying J and was packed with trucks. It was also at night, but still there is that posibility someone could come by right then. They didn't and I was able to get back in without a problem. You just never know at a place like this. They could kick the _-_- out of you, they could call your boss (the phone number is on the back of the trailer) or they could, well, you get the Idea.