What's a Grrl to do

[Georgette]

Hi I have a problem, I'm falling in love, that is I am falling in love with Georgette and I just can't help myself I go to bed and dream about her in a fantsy type way. I wish she could be dressed 24/7 and not worry about who she sees, or who sees her, I just know that I love her and all she stands for I also love My SO and wouldn't do anything to jeoardize that or have any negativety in our marriage.
I find myself thinking about Georgette all of my waking hours and what I have to do to keep her around.
I can't transition as that is not what I want but I am at a cross road as to Purge completly and banish her from my life or do I try and just live with it. I know she's there all the time and I seem to think about her.
Enough rambling, but what can I do. :eek: :confused:

[Donna Louise]

Georgette

May I ask one question please. If you purge completely won't Georgette still be there?

She might not be in the mirror but she will be in your heart. You can purge things but can you purge your heart?

Just food for thought.

Best of luck
Hugs
Donna Louise

[Georgette]

I know she will still be in my heart. I think that the accepttance by My SO and family just overwhelmed me to the point that I have taken a devil may care attitude and this is what happened I fell in love with another person even thoughshe is me, but different.
I have another session with the therapist tomorrow and hope that she can help, as this really SUCKS BIG TIME.

[girlee]

I have been in your situation many times and its a difficult....very difficult thing.
are you married ...and if so does your wife know about your love of girlee stuff?

:)

[Trinity_cat]

I think you already know the answer to the question. You have been here a while but have been dressing for much, much longer. Georgette is a very definate part of you and you cann't just dismiss her as a passing fad. Compromise is an answer. When you can be Georgette, make the most of it. There is no reason for you to hurt your family's feelings.
You are luckier than most of us here, enjoy.

[Tristen Cox]

Remember the old saying 'you must love yourself before others can love you'. Once you love her she is a part of you. As the other girls said she won't just go away. She is in your heart and always will be. Ignore her, pretend she is not there, yet she will remain in subtile ways. Even if you can only secretly embrace her, it is certainly better than trying to hide what you feel inside yourself.
Have a good session tomorrow, and best wishes.

Love & hugs
Tristen

[Amelie]

Georgette you have just reached another plateau in CDing. You have become narcissistic. This happens to many Cds. Some won't admit this, but quite a few Cds fall in love with this different image of themselves. Not all Cds are like this, but the ones I met in the clubs were very much in love with themselves. Try not to let it upset your marraige, try to manage your love with your wife and with your "new" love-yourself. I know what I just said may sound a bit bizzare, but it's just how I see your situation. I too, feel this way about myself, I am very narcissistic(sp).
Love Amelie

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Okay, a GG's point of view. I don't get the "I'm in love with her" phenomena. If I step outside myself and try to feel what it must be like to be a CD then I get the sense that this 'love' seems like an infactuation with an over idealized woman that largely exists in your head. The over idealized part is not meant condescendingly but it seems that often the images/personas of these women are 'perfect' in some way. Like an unfulfilled wish of what women should or could be. It also seems to me to be that this need to love 'her' is really a need to love yourself and may be an indication that the more love you give to her, the less your boi self gets. I maybe in left field on this one, but this is how I see it right now. Certainly will appreciate input and enlightenment from the grrls here. Understand, I am a GG and can not fully understand what it means to be CD. I mean this posting to be received with the acceptance of my naivtee (if this is spelled wrong, I apologize). :)

hugs
kew

[racquel]

Sometimes when we meet someone we really like, and start spending too much time with them, we find that we tire of them and start looking for excuses why we cannot spend time with that person.
Your family has been very accepting of Georgette,be careful they don't start missing the man who brought her.Hope I am making sense.thread carefully.

[Tamara Croft]

Kewt... You make a good point there, I don't understand how one can fall in love with ones other self... Makes me wonder... does she love her more than she loves me??? :(

Tamara x

[Wendy me]

I know she will still be in my heart. I think that the accepttance by My SO and family just overwhelmed me to the point that I have taken a devil may care attitude and this is what happened I fell in love with another person even thoughshe is me, but different.
I have another session with the therapist tomorrow and hope that she can help, as this really SUCKS BIG TIME.


georgette if you purge all of her things as if you purged all "his" things you still have the strongest part with you your inner slefe.........who you are on the inside......this is who you are sometimes real scary if you think you can't controll it ......or stop it.......mabey it's not abought stopping or controlling..
just could be abought just being you .

glade your in therapey you will sort this out your worth it ..............

how long did it take to "be" georgette??????give it time :p

[AnnaMaria]

Georgette,

I think I can see where you are coming from. Though I have not at this point allowed all of what I feel from Anna's point of view to connect with my male side I have been trying. And the more I allow her feelings to come out into the male side of me the more I realize that she is a very loving and caring person. I have always buried a lot of my feelings as a way to keep her hidden from the world and I have come to realize that this action has caused me to push the ones that I love the most away from me in a false sense of protection for Anna. But the more I allow out now the more I realize that I do infact love her, for the ability she has to feel the things that I can't, or won't. The best thing that I can tell you is to try to channel some of that love toward your wife and family as I have been doing so that your family doesn't fell left out or forgotten. Maybe in doing that you will discover how best to deal with your new found acceptance from your family. Because it sounds to me like you are going through some of the same things that I am with my wife. I am so happy right now because my wife has accepted me for who I am and is willing to at least try to understand and help me with learning about myself but at the same time I am leary gbecause I don't want to do something that could cause her pain. So I may at times over-compensate with my feelings of protection for her by internalizing some of that love instead of showing it. Just remember that we are all here for you and that your wife obviously loves you or she would not have accepted you for who you are. And if she is anything like my wife her first concern is going to be for you even if she doesn't always seem to show it and it should be the same for you.

huggs
anna

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Tamara, I think we're being ignored:(

Truly grrls, we're clueless. We simply want to understand better, ok?

hugs
kew
&
tamara

[DonnaT]

Kew, Tamara, It is like Amelie said, narcissism (partly). More "self-admiring".

You know, how some people (some actors or some models) admire how they look in the mirror. They also feed off other comments. Georgette loves the feedback she's got from her SO and relatives, and wants to dress more and more.

Georgette, you may want to try locking your things in a trunk or wardrobe and giving your wife the key, asking her to not let you dress for a week.

Of course, this could backfire and you'd go overboard again once dressed. So when the clothes are unlocked, she should only allow you a few items to wear, not the whole shebang, to ensure you stay at home.

Ask your therapist though, before doing anything.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Well I'm trying to understand this as a person, and as a person who loves someone who is a CD'er........and I suppose a bit as a therapist too. Narcissism, as a disorder, is a beast unto itself. Ppl with true narcissistic characteristics are quite wounded emotionally and can be toxic to be in a relationship with. There are all sorts of theories and such underlying the disorder. It seems to me that most of what is being expressed here is something quite different and yet, perhaps, similar to narcissism. I'm weighing my words carefully here but it almost seems to me that one 'falls in love with'
an apparition of themselves. And this 'falling' for this aspect of themselves seems more like a means to make themselves feel more whole and as a superficial means of increasing their sense of worth and self-esteem. This is my impression of the phenomena. Again, please feel free to comment.

hugs
kew

[Georgette]

Kew & Tamra.
No you are not being ignored as I hve just gotten back on the web, and here in the forum.
Last night I had a good session with my feelings and I know that I must balance my feelings for Georgette and with my family, I know that since she emerged almost full time the other side of her the Male side has been more of an emotional person, it used to be that the word LOVE hardly was said by him, but lately it has been much easier to say that word or words Of I love you to my wife and my family.
Yes I think and hope that this thing or infatuation for Georgette can be controlled, and shared eqyally with the rest of the people that mean so much to me in my life, without them I could not function or have the happy and fulfilled life that I feel I have.
As I said I hope to get a handle on this as I will see my Shrink( she would n't like me calling her that) but its easier to refer to her that way.
I will explain to her what I feel and really be candid and open with her, somethung I have held back on, but I don't think I should any more.
I will hang in and really try to get the Balance right.

[Wendy me]

georgette hang in i know that this side can be scary .....embrace it for what it is ......
enjoy it .......as for the shrink.......when "he" first went and called the thearepest a shrink got told by him i am not here to shrink you i am here to helpe you grow

go sister and grow

[Sharon]

Georgette,
Maybe you just need to step back and take a few deep breaths. So much has been happening to you in such a short period of time, I think you're only now feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. Put Georgette away for a little while if you must. Be your male self and experience life from that side for a while. He's been ignored, yet he's still a large part of who you are. Just take your time, try to relax, and don't do anything too hastily.

Kew and Tamara,
I can't answer your question. I don't really understand it either. I try hard to love myself, or rather just accept myself. But as far as BEING in love with myself, I don't get it.