Met a guy

[SusanTL]

Hi all.

I just had to share this experiance with my sisters. Little back ground first. I am 25 qnd pre-op ts. I live about 90% female, and 10% boy mode. The only time I am in drab is when I am working. But I have reached the stage that I can no onger realy hide the the change. I also just started hrt (Wa-Hoo), got the approvel from my doctor. I was in a large department store at the mall a while ago. I was looking at some clothes and a really cute guy comes up to me and says. "Hello - You would look great in that jacket". Well, I was scared and nurvous at the same time. I said, do you really think so. He said oh-yes. I then sald, is this your normal pick up line. He said, not really, just to the T-Girls I want to meet. When he said that, I was floored. I know I have a long way to go to pass totally. But I was not expecting this to happen. I was then totally scared. He sensed my fear. He said, don't be scared, its ok. I like girls like you. He then asked to if I would like to get a cup of coffee. I was scared, but I said yes. I thought it was all in the open and I would be safe. We left the store and went to this coffee shop in the mall. We sat and talked over coffee and I had such a wonderful time. When it came time to leave, he asked to go to a movie with him that same night. I said yes. What is a girl to do when a cute new guy asks her out. I told him I would meet him at the movie. I then went home and spent hours getting ready. I washed and styled my hair, and I must have tried on 20 different outfits. Before deciding on a cute skirt and blouse combo.

Well - that was about three weeks ago. Since then we have gone out together a number of times. At the end of the first date, he kissed my on the cheek. At the end of the second date, he kissed my on the lips. End of third date we were french kissing and he said. I want you. That was our first night together. It was so wonderful. I could see he was planning this. he had rubbers and everything ready. It was such a beautiful night.

Now - here is the problem. I have told my doctor all about my new boyfriend. I also told a couple of the other girls in my gender idenity clinic meetings I go too. They all told me the same thing. They all say, there is no future with this guy. They all told me that he likes t-girls. Its pre-op girls that he likes. Once I get srs, he will no longer want me. he will just go and find another pre-op. My head tells me they are right, but my heart wants it to be wrong. I am still dating him. I have such a wonderful time being with him.

What do my sisters think? Have you girls been there all ready?

Thanks - Susan

[Scotty]

Can't say I've been there, but maybe I can give you some insight in human nature.

I say they are correct in that a LOT of men have pre-op fantasies, kind of like being gay but not because you are transitioning....

But you have a long way to go, enjoy it for what it's worth.
And maybe it won't, but human nature tells me it may be that he will move on.

Or maybe he won't.....maybe that *IS* his fantasy to go through with complete transition wtih you.

But at 41 I've kinda learned that people come into your life for a reason, and then sometimes leave.

Billy Joel sang it best, wise words...


So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last
Some will be just now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again


;
;

[LisaRose]

I've never been in that situation but I would be extremely cautious and prepare for the worst.

[kathy gg]

Okay I have no business posting in this area...as I am not tg and neither is my SO....but advice I would give...from one woman to another...

are you havingg srs next week?
what about next month?

Of course not, you are probably having in in the *near future*.

I don't see any reason why you can't enjoying dating someone who likes the person you are right now. I mean yes the *future* might change his attraction to you, or heck it could change your attraction to him to. But that is in the *future*.

Why not enjoy the company, attention, and obvious pleasure you are getting out of this and not dwell on all the *what if's of tomorrow*.

Alot of people in this community have a very difficult time finding people to connect with. This person likes you and you like them. You both enjoy spending time together and he obviously is comfortable enough with your presentation to be willinig to go out with you and not just meet you in seedy motels. That shows to me a guy who is very confident and comfortable with his sexuality and who he is.

Why would any person want to leave that?

There are people who live in the past.......there are people who dream in the future.....but the people who have the most happiness live in the NOW.

Best of luck with living in the NOW!:hugs:

[AmberTG]

hey Kathy, all opinions are welcome here! I agree with you on this one, why not enjoy this relatioship while it's happening. Nothing is for ever, including life itself, so why not go for it while you can. Maybe things will change after SRS, but why worry about that now? Enjoy the moment!
Amber

[LouiseCassell]

I would agree with what most have already said. Yes, he may change his feelings to you in the future - but then, you may also!

Enjoy the moment for what it is and not what it may become. Believe me, its a refreshing change not to meet a man who only wants you hidden away in a hotel room etc and for you to meet someone who is obviously happy to spend time with you inside and outside must be seen as a plus for you.

The only other thing I ca add that has not already been said is this - Have you spoken to him about this yet? Maybe its a little too early in the relationship for deep and meaningful debates but only you can really tell about that.

It is hard to find a man who is interested in people like you and me and I must point out the obvious - even if its a little depressing - its even harder to find a man who is going to stick by you after all the alterations have been finished.

[JenniferMint]

Some men might prefer post-op M2Fs over GGs. See http://www.tsgirlfriend.com/dating-post-op-ts-article.html for details. One reason for prefering post-op M2Fs is that M2Fs have lived the life of a man and as a result, may understand men better than GGs.

[Agles]

all i half to say has already been said. you cool now, so live in it.
who knows even if you where a GG would he still be with you come 4 months. my sister is with a new guy ever month.
people come and go in life. just be happy with what you got now.

='.'=
Jamie

[Scotty]

There are people who live in the past.......there are people who dream in the future.....but the people who have the most happiness live in the NOW.



Those are wise words.

Only until THIS year did I realize those words to be true. I lived in the past for 15 years and it got me nowhere but depressed, and now living in the present and FOR the future is phenomenally fun, and adventurous to see what lies around the next bend!

I'm in a sport right now, not to be named, but it has more of an adrenaline rush than jumping out of an airplane, and it feels GOOd to be doing it!!! (and it's safe!).


So enjoy the here and now, and if that day arrives wh ere he leaves, refer to the lyrics I posted above....

[CaptLex]

Why not enjoy the company, attention, and obvious pleasure you are getting out of this and not dwell on all the *what if's of tomorrow*.
:yt: What Kathy said.

[Nyx]

How about.... Discuss this with the guy? You can ask him about it. Furthermore, you can ask him to be truly sincere, since its best for both of you... And well, if he is into t-girls because pre-ops have penises, you don't *have* to drop him. It depends on what you want, and nothing says thats the only reason he likes you.

[Wendi {LI NY}]

I would not worry about tommorrow .hon ,it may ever come ? Live to today and forget about tommorrow . I f he is for you because you are pre-oper,so be it and lest you enjoy his company now .. hugs ,Wendi:love: :thumbsup:

[SusanTL]

Hello all.

Thank you all so much for your great advice. I knew my sisters would have the right answers. I have to live for today. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I also know that this is not a lasting relationship. But for now, I enjoy being with him and I love the feelings I get as the girl in the relationship.

This is my first boyfriend. I know that it will end one day, but for now. I am going to enjoy every second of it.

Thank you all so much again.

Hugs - Susan

[Katelyn]

Maybe the doctors say what they say because they have seen guys leave their girls behind before. I would be cautious and I would ask him what his plans are. I personally would stay with a beautiful girl like you before and after:hugs:.

[whisky12]

Hi all.

I just had to share this experiance with my sisters. Little back ground first. I am 25 qnd pre-op ts. I live about 90% female, and 10% boy mode. The only time I am in drab is when I am working. But I have reached the stage that I can no onger realy hide the the change. I also just started hrt (Wa-Hoo), got the approvel from my doctor. I was in a large department store at the mall a while ago. I was looking at some clothes and a really cute guy comes up to me and says. "Hello - You would look great in that jacket". Well, I was scared and nurvous at the same time. I said, do you really think so. He said oh-yes. I then sald, is this your normal pick up line. He said, not really, just to the T-Girls I want to meet. When he said that, I was floored. I know I have a long way to go to pass totally. But I was not expecting this to happen. I was then totally scared. He sensed my fear. He said, don't be scared, its ok. I like girls like you. He then asked to if I would like to get a cup of coffee. I was scared, but I said yes. I thought it was all in the open and I would be safe. We left the store and went to this coffee shop in the mall. We sat and talked over coffee and I had such a wonderful time. When it came time to leave, he asked to go to a movie with him that same night. I said yes. What is a girl to do when a cute new guy asks her out. I told him I would meet him at the movie. I then went home and spent hours getting ready. I washed and styled my hair, and I must have tried on 20 different outfits. Before deciding on a cute skirt and blouse combo.

Well - that was about three weeks ago. Since then we have gone out together a number of times. At the end of the first date, he kissed my on the cheek. At the end of the second date, he kissed my on the lips. End of third date we were french kissing and he said. I want you. That was our first night together. It was so wonderful. I could see he was planning this. he had rubbers and everything ready. It was such a beautiful night.

Now - here is the problem. I have told my doctor all about my new boyfriend. I also told a couple of the other girls in my gender idenity clinic meetings I go too. They all told me the same thing. They all say, there is no future with this guy. They all told me that he likes t-girls. Its pre-op girls that he likes. Once I get srs, he will no longer want me. he will just go and find another pre-op. My head tells me they are right, but my heart wants it to be wrong. I am still dating him. I have such a wonderful time being with him.

What do my sisters think? Have you girls been there all ready?

Thanks - Susan you need to talk.[like yesterday]+?

[michelle19845]

i hope to stick with women,i see so many men that are self centered and don't understand feelings and emotions,nor care to do lots of the same things i do.i hope i can find a gal that will be protective of me and share similar interst.i understand why women sometimes become bi or lesbian due to some of the men in this world.i know not all are like that especially younger generations these days,i just have had bad problems with men in my life,not seeing eye to eye .
i wish you the best of luck,remember,time is the wisest counselor ! if it's true ,you will pry not hold together for too long,if it's the right click,you'll feel it.it's kinda like shopping for a blouse,if it don't catch your eye and interests,you pry won't want it,but if it did catch your eye,you'd feel the enhancement of the interest (him).just a thought.




michelle19845

[cindianna_jones]

Hello all.

Thank you all so much for your great advice. I knew my sisters would have the right answers. I have to live for today. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I also know that this is not a lasting relationship. But for now, I enjoy being with him and I love the feelings I get as the girl in the relationship.

This is my first boyfriend. I know that it will end one day, but for now. I am going to enjoy every second of it.

Thank you all so much again.

Hugs - Susan

You knew the answer all along, didn't you dear? Just be safe. Enjoy your youth. You'll not have another chance.

Cindi

[Sky]

Hello all.

Thank you all so much for your great advice. I knew my sisters would have the right answers. I have to live for today. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I also know that this is not a lasting relationship. But for now, I enjoy being with him and I love the feelings I get as the girl in the relationship.

This is my first boyfriend. I know that it will end one day, but for now. I am going to enjoy every second of it.

Thank you all so much again.

Hugs - Susan

Sorry to arrive late to this, but just to confirm what other girls said, yes there are many guys who only want pre-op tgs. But like another girl said, some like post-ops, some like both, and some like neither. Like you said, enjoy him because he wants you now!

[SusanTL]

Hi Girls.

Thank you all so much for your insight and wisdom.

I have been dating the guy now for a while, and everything is just wonderful. I know this is not a lasting relationship. However its so nice to be with a guy as his girl. Its also pretty nice to wake up in the morning next to a handsome hunk.

Thank you all so much.

Hugs - Susan

[Kaitlyn]

Susan, I am so happy for you! I wish you the best of luck!

and Kathy GG, I don't think anyone could have put that into much better words. Bravo! :thumbsup: :happy:

[silkrose]

u never know til u try.

[Sweet Virginia]

Don't be bossy, Whisky 12! Let's not exaggerate? Susan TL, that's a good post by my lights! Luv, Piratess Bonnie McBarren!

[ashlee chiffon]

i think all the girls have given you great advice, and all i'd add is much of the same...pretty much live for the moment...Nothing is forever, but who knows that these precious moments the two of you share will not go on for a long time? it may go on and on and actually turn into a long term thing..like a relationship!!!...stranger things have happened, ya know? But savor and enjoy even if its only for awhile...you'll have great memories! And don't forget to keep us all updated on what's going on with you...*hugs*

[SusanTL]

Dearest Sisters.

Thank you all so much for helping guide me. I feel so close to you all.
I will keep everyone updated on what is happening.

So far it has been wondeful.

Hugs - Susan

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Susan

It's so nice to here everything is giong well :hugs: