Do you ever throw your arms up and....

[Gisele]

Just want to say screw it and get yourself all made up and walk out the front door and go out all day doing whatever while dressed? All the while you feel like you don't care what anyone thinks and I mean anyone.

But just at the time you are ready to walk out something slaps you right in the face and says wake up. Then you think whew.......think of the waves you would create with neighbors, family, friends....etc...And your not ready for anyone to know about you yet.

Sometimes I just want to walk over to my neighbors house as Beth. My neighbor is one of the sweetest little old lady's I have met. I think it would be OK but.....her son owns her house and he and my father (who built our house) here are good friends....there will be no wave there but a title wave!

At times I just want to walk out and go out a Beth around my town at day but, I just can't do it yet. I have a job and a fiance (who knows) to think about here in this tiny town where everyone knows everyone's business.

Oh well, I just had to vent cause I am tired of being like a caged animal.

Thanks for your ear.

Beth

[joycem]

Yes I think about this every day, but same as you to many waves.
Joyce

[serinalynn]

Yes Beth I hear you. I grew up in a small (pop.1700) rural farming community and while growing up tried on and wore my mothers clothes while they were out. I could not Immagine the word getting around that the (your last name) kid was seen wearing womens clothes. and then being grilled unmercifully by nearly every one you know. In small rural communities word of a boy or young man bein seen dressed as a woman would travel faster than a california wild fire. By the time breakfast is served eveyone is talking about you.
Now that I live in a large metropolitan area crossdressing is more readily accepted that in rural america.

[Melanie]

Yes Beth,

I definately get these little' moods' of rebelliousness that occur every so often.I am pretty sure my mum knows,and at times I just want to blurt it out,or better yet go get my stuff get dressed and present my other self to mum or whomever.

I am fed up of hiding but like others worry about the consequences of coming out!

Hugs,
Melanie :hugs:

[Gisele]

I love living in a small town and away from the big citys. Living in a rual area is a plus for us. We like to say at the ready for anything that may hit us. Be it another attack or a natural disater. Living away from the citys has it's advantage and it's disadvantages. But, Im Beth mode more that I am in guy mode at home. And we are not being attacked everyday (thank God) Now Beth is getting upset for not taking her, uhhh....myself out more..LOL

[sky0629]

Every other day i'm thinking about a Sky day. right now i'm rolling my shorts up like hot pants when i'm driving with earring on, hair down shoe's off because my nails are painted. I'm trying to feel girlie during the day while i'm out it helps take the edge off. but one day bammm hello world.
Sky

[Byllie]

Of course, we all (I suppose) have the fantasy of being able to live as who we really are. Personally, I would love to wear dresses and skirts at work, nails painted, face made up just right, but speak in my normal "guy" voice. I don't want to be a women. Rather, I want to be who I am, a true blend of the masculine and the feminine.

But that's not the way the world is, at least not today. So, I need to be content with just the toes painted, eyebrow plucked a little and trimmed, and wear only those items of female dress that can go underneath my male drab garb. Such is life!

:2c:

[Billijo49504]

So Beth, you got it off your chest, I hope youfeel better. If you can't unload on your good friend, who can you? I think we all feel that way at times. So I hope you feel better and just relax, you are not alone...BJ

[stacylynn1]

well hon everything you do in life has it's price up to you if it's worth it if you are tired of being a caged animal walk out the door but know you will pay the price
stacylynn1

[Carroll]

I have...most recently a few days ago. I was dressed when my wife called to pick her and a friend up at the nearby mall. I told her I was not changing. I went and put some foundation and lipstick on and was ready to go. The wife called again said that I should head up her way, once again I told her I was not changing. Her voice didn't sound too "approving", so I quickly changed. When I got there she asked why I changed. I told her it was the tone of her voice that changed my mind. She looks at me and says, "sorry, I didn't mean to sound that way, it would have been OK by me".
Its a good thing I didn't because we stopped at the store to get a gallon of milk. I waited in the car seeing people I know for the next 20 min. while she shopped for 1 gallon of milk..........and about $50 worth of non milk food!

[sue ellan]

i agree with byllie. life would be much better for al of us
sue ellan

life is like a roll or tp. the closer to end the faster it goes.

[Gisele]

Its a good thing I didn't because we stopped at the store to get a gallon of milk. I waited in the car seeing people I know for the next 20 min.

Yep, that part of the little things that make me say no not today.

[Tracy Lynn]

Do you ever throw your arms up and....


Just want to say screw it and get yourself all made up and walk out the front door and go out all day doing whatever while dressed? All the while you feel like you don't care what anyone thinks and I mean anyone.

Beth

I would have to say everyday.

[JoAnnDallas]

Until last year, I lived in a small town ( pop 3,000). It seemed everytime I went to the local WalMart, I would run into someone I knew. Small towns are like that. Even the local paper was a hoot. It listed every police run, every arrest, who was arrested and for what. The fine they paid or jail time they got. It listed every fire department run, where the fire was, was it a false alarm, which volenter fireman was on the run. it listed each and every parcel of land or house that was sold or bought. Who bought it or sold it, the agents name. Nothing escaped the local paper. I could see it now, I was seen out all dressed up. I bet there would have been a half page article about the next day LOL.

[bgirl]

Yes I do. Things like wearing sandles with my toes painted in drab. So what if they notice? I stop before I hit the door and sadly put on socks. One day a Yoga class I had to keep my socks on and for a minute I thought about just taking them off and being myself. I am glad I didnt though. My wife and I ran into half the Yoga class,and their husbands, while out for dinner and drinks. We all got to know each other a bit and I realize how small the world is. Even when I was single I never had the courage. Beth

[JoAnnDallas]

Talking about painted toes, my wife go upset with me when I went out to the back yard with no socks and sandels on. She told to go back in and put on socks, because the neighbors might see my toes. Funny thing is we have a 7 ft wood fence all around the back yard and no two story house near us. She doesn't know about my fem side, but does allow me to get my toes painted.

[Erica007]

I do not do the full dressing bit but I do love to wear panties under my (men's wear) and I wear sexy lingerie or nighties after a shower at night around the house and to bed. But when we have friends stay over night on weekends I can't. Sometimes I just feel like saying what the heck and wear something sexy anyway but the wife would not let me and I don't want to risk losing the friends either. Plus wife doesn't want her side of the family to find out either, they would not approve big time. But the thought is there to do it as I miss wearing lovely things on those nights. :love: Erica

[Joy Carter]

Not dressed but I have been thinking of shopping at two local women's stores (next door to each other) and dam my job sent me to do electrical service on the one. The ladies there were so nice and me being courteous and professional I would have probably stuck in their minds. So no I'm not shopping at ether one of those stores. Dam I'm running out of places to shop in town. :o

[Rachel Morley]

Although I do go out en femme fairly regularly, it's not as often as you might think, and it is always planned. OTOH I do wear girly clothes in guy mode as my regular clothes. When I'm in the house I tend to wear even more girlier clothes than when out in public in boy mode. My point is when I'm in the house and I want or need to go out on an errand or maybe go to the mall with my wife, it's always a dilema as whether I should change into something less girly or not.

So to answer your question "do you ever throw your arms up and just want to say screw it and walk out the front door" yes I do. Somestimes wanting to be a feminized guy blurring the lines of gender expression in public is a bit of a challenge.

[Sandy I am]

Yes, just about every day for a long, long, long time

[Jasmine Ellis]

yes I know the feeling you open the door and hear talking and you find the door closeing and you walking back into the sitting room

[cindyxdresser]

First of all im glad you have a girlfriend who is openminded and allows you to be who you really are(female),dont lose her,do anything you can to keep her happy and she will do the same.I was the same way,dying to go out in a skirt and heels ,but afraid of what might happen.The first time i went out dressed was at night,I got all fixed up and waited untill it was late enough to ensure that i could go for a walk around my neighborhood and have the smallest chance to be seen.Soon i would go out earlier and earlier,as well as going for drives dressed.That helped with my confidence,.When i first was out for a walk,and a car came down the street i would run and hide so i wouldnt be seen,but one night i said i was done running ,and since then i dont worry and proudly continue walking.I am sure it is only a matter of time till someone pulls over or walks up to me ,and i decided to worry about that when it happens,an since i wear a pvc,or leather skirt (not ****ty short ,mid thigh),it will happen.When i began going out for my walks i went for quick ones ,but every time i went out i became more confident and braver,and you will as well.Just remember when you go out try to look your best,as passable as possible,,and be proud.When you decide it is time to come out you should try something i did,,i said to myself that i need to be punished for being a sissy and for going out dressed,and for my punishment i felt that i should have to walk a certain distance and always made sure i did that.I always made sure i had an escape route incase of trouble ,but now when i am out for a walk i only think of how much fun i am having and how sexy i feel,if i have to run from somebody i will be smart and take my heels off before i run ,hopefully i wont have to leave them,lol.HOWEVER,in my head i have allready decided i wont run,I am not ashamed of who or what i am and dont intend on changing

[Maureen Henley]

I regularly dress at home on the weekend. if I have to go run an errand, or go to the grocery store or Lowe's or Home Depot, I'll go in t-shirt, womens casual pants and shoes over bra and girdle. We live in a large suburban area, and seldom run into friends or neighbors. At night, if the errand involves only drive-thrus, I'll go out as I am, usually in a dress.

Our house sits 130' back from the road, with 100' wooded buffers on either side, so I'll go out in the front yard regardless of clothing. If it's after dark, I'll drag out the trash cans and recycling bins in dress and heels (on a uneven, unpaved driveway). In nice weather my wife and I will sit on our lawn furniture enjoying the weather, me in a dress.

Also, my nephew (age 21) and several of his friends visit often, and they all know that I am a crossdresser, so I don't worry about what I'm wearing if someone drops by. Their attitudes varry from indifferrence to "It's cool that you do what you feel like doing."