Out alone dressed?

[Nina]

I know lots of you have been brave enough to go outside or even to a club dressed for the first time this year but for some of us we will never be brave enough to go out dressed. There like me now most of our dressing has to be behind closed doors. However i would be more likely to go out with a group of TV's and would feel much more relaxed. To be honest this is the only chance I have of ever going anywhere dressed. I was wondering who else on here would feel more comfortable going out dressed with a group of like minded people but would never go out on their own?

[alba68]

I was thinking of going to the gay village in Manchester cos you are more likely to be acceped there. And you don't have to be gay. Would have to pluck up loads of courage tho and find someone to do my hair and make up

[Rachel_740]

Alba,

I was going to go there when I was doing some courses in Manchester a couple of months ago. I decided I'd go and find the place as him before I went to go in as Rachel. When I got there, even as him I felt so intimidated, there was no way I was going to go there & go in as Rachel. Probably me being stupid but that's how I felt.

Happy new year to all :D

Rachel

[Tristen Cox]

Nina you are so right. Alone would be terrible, but with company like us I wouln't mind at all. Someday I have to do this with others I am just too afraid to be by myself. :o

Love
Tristen

[Sandra H]

Hi girls.

Living near the seaside as I do I can go out and walk about as much as I want. I get ready then put my shoes and skirt in a carrier bag drive to a quite part of the coast get in the back of the car and change into my skirt and shoes. Get back in the car and drive about, get out and walk along the prom with the wind on my nylon legs and up my skirt WOW. I love it. It would be nice to have other girls to join me, but it never seems to come off.

[Donna Louise]

I have to agree. If I had a friend or friends to go with it would be easy go out. It would not matter, male, female or CD/TV. As long as I were not alone. I lack the courage to go by myself.

A couple years ago, I was a member of Tri Ess and went to local meetings. You could come dressed or change there. I did both. It was in a hotel and you could not smoke in the room. It became perfectly natural to walk down the hall to the stairway to smoke. Normally we went in groups of 2 or more at a time. It was so easy being I was with others. We even talked about going out afterwards but that never happened. I turned heads once (I was a size 10/12 not 13/14 now). Went in tight red dress (Mid thigh), matching balero jacket, red seamback thighhighs, black purse, 4" black heels and the wig in the pic you see. Now that I look back, I guess I was screaming look at me, not trying to blend at all. I had to leave alone, a little behind 4 guys. They never noticed on the carpet inside hotel but when the heels hit the concret outside, they turned and looked. I did not look to see their reaction so I am not sure if I was made or not but it was thrilling either way.

As for alone - I'm scared to death. As far as I can go is to creep to the car, drive a little bit and sneak back in the house.

Donna Louise

[JAYNETHOMPSON]

Hi Nina,
Firstly can I say that there can be nobody more nervous at going out dressed than me. I've been dressing and going out for several years. I'm still nervous about how real I look. My first real chance came after divorce from my 1st wife. I was 26. I'd wanted to venture out but could not contemplate being seen by the wife. She was a bit of a 'phobe. So Jayne was a secret operator; always in doors or during the night for a brisk walk around the block. When the chance came I gingerly grabbed it. It took me years to get relaxed about myself going out. The best advice I could offer to girls thinking of stepping out is similar to that already written; be relaxed and cool, even if your insides are on fire. Try not to look to daring. Pick your outfit to suit the time of day or evening. Give your self a purpose in being out and about, something to aim for; go to the library, church, local store etc the options are endless. I find this better than wandering around not really knowing where to go; I think it makes me blend in more. Groups are great too; I guess its the flock theory of being safer in numbers. :) I prefer the company of a male friend, it makes the whole reality thing more convincing and being appreciated as a girl is fantastic. I still have things I'd like to do but they will need more courage.
Finding this site has been great too.
x
JAYNE
PS
If your ever in the NE contact me and we can meet for a chat as guys or gals or both.

[StephanieCD]

I hope to someday find a group to go out with - a group I'd actually like regardless of clothing... maybe 3 or 4 cd/ts to go to a local gay club and hustle pool or something - problem is an old friend was prominent in the local gay community and I met many local gay people - I'd be made in a second. But I'm moving soon... who knows!

And THEN there's something different I've always wanted to do - those couples weekends for CDs and their SOs... sounds like they have a lot of fun!

[jennilouise]

i would love to join you in going out, but have never been out dressed and have been one of my dreams to out dressed.

love

jenni louise

[DeliciousDenise]

Going out with friends is loads better then being alone. Ive gone out both alone and with the company of friends....go with someone. They make it less stressful and more comforting - wheather they're CD/TV/s themselves or not.
***It's safer as well - which is the most important thing!***
Go with friends definitely.

[Megan_Renee]

My wife told me we could go out and line dance. We just have to wait fo r the mail-order wig, and then we'll proably go buy shoes or something... Small trips at first. I think we'll have fun!

Megan_Renee.

[Fallen Angel]

the only way your giong to go out is to go out!! i look at most of you ladies and your pictures and they are wonderful. start by going out dressed at holloween this is were for that holiday you will accepted as part of season that way guese what you just took your first step into the unknown then from there go on to other events try a womens contest ect go on the computer and look under www.gaynightspots.com that will give you alot of places that you can go out to. i posted going out newyears eve pictures on the forum and me and my roomate had a blast there was only one other crossdresser there and for the majority of people there they were extremly friendly and very out going. they know that they are gay and they take you for what you are dragqeen, divia ,ect. you will never know unless you try!!! ive gone out on my own plenty of times inclueding wal-mart the local mall and clothing stores. one clothing store knows me so well that the clerks go out of there way to have me try on new outfits.you wounderfull ladies that have joined this forum have all ready taken your greatist step by being here and showing your self to others. I love you all and i want you all to feel comfertable at what you do but youll never know unless you try

[Katiegirl]

Hello Nina

There is a similar post from Lisa, she was looking for people to go out with but she didn't give where she lived.

As I told her I recently went "out" to a long established TG group and had a great time. I live too far to the East to meet, but as I gave Lisa this is the site where I found the group I went too.

http://www.transgenderzone.com/venueguide/UKntvg.htm

Hope that is of some help

:)

Mind of a Woman,Body of a Man, Life is a Bitch

[Amelie]

Nina,,I can't believe that you don't go out dressed, you look so beautiful, there should be no problems. Unless you have personal reasons why you can't go out, it isn't because of your looks.

Me,, I prefer to go out alone. Then I can choose where I want to go, usually the friend wants to go somewhere i don't want to go. Although a friend can be useful, when being chased by skinheads, I can throw my friend to them and save myself.
Amelie

[Bonnie-OR]

Going out has been a longtime dream of mine too, but alas, I live in a very small town several hours away from any place that might be accepting of our type. Someday maybe I'll meet someone that lives in an area that is safe and knows of safe places to go. In the mean time, I'll enjoy my time with all the great gals here, and toast you all with a glass of wine. Huggs to you all, Bonnie

[wilma]

I too live in a small town so my going out usually means short trips at times when there is few people out. I enjoy the free feeling I get when I am outdoors but I dont pass very well so i go to places where I wont be noticed. With all that said.... If I were to meet up with a bunch of like minded girls as yourselves, in a different town, I would enjoy it very much to kick up my heels. LOL Wilma

[Wenda]

Hi Nina, I have not gone out in full dress, don't have a wig yet that my GF approves of, and from the pics she took of me over Christmas break, I agree. There are two questions about going out, safety and friendship. When my son learning I was dressing, one of his first offers was a list of places I could go dressed, and be safe. Amelie is not the only one who has to worry about reactionaries. In our part of the world, they would not likely be skinheads, more likely oil industry roughnecks or cowboys. The second question is friendship: If you have a friend or friends who you can go out with, especially when you are beginning, I think it would relieve much of the stress (and add safety). In Vancouver, there is a 'girls night out' group that does different activities on a regular basis. My GF and I were going to take in their NY event, but she had to get back home for work..rats!!! Be careful, have fun! wenda.

[tv_rachael]

i went out in london after a proffesional makeover :) (pandora pledge)

i suggest doing that cause then you will have the best makeup and the confidence to go for it...

i went out alone it was an amazing exprience and I still think about it now...

just go for it, do you have any pics of u dressed up? are u convincing?

[Chrissycd]

but I went out alone on New Years Eve to a place I'd never been, in a part of the city that isn't of good repute, and I didn't even know anyone who would be there. But, I promised myself that this year would be different, and, when it came down to it, I was NOT going to stay home and in the closet.
The good thing about it all is that the cabaret show I went to see was advertised for the GLBT community in Minneapolis, so I assumed I'd be okay. When I finally found the place and parked, I still didn't know if I wanted to actually go in. The place didn't even look open! But, then another car pulled up, a nicely dressed foursome got out, and I watched them wander into the dark side entrance. Seemed foreboding and enticing all at once. I called my gg, told her the details in a voicemail, threw the door open and said to myself, "It's time to start living life."

[michelle essex]

Nina I know what you mean. Igo out dressed late at night but not during the day. That would be heaven! Like you, if Iwas in a group it would feelmuch easier to deal with. Perhaps one day it might happen, fingers crossed.

[rusty 2004]

hi Nina,
I too have struggled with the confidence to get out, but through these forums, I found the right people to help me.
I have had the most amazing new year break which gave me the opportunity to get out dressed twice in a week!
Firstly to a t.v friendly pub in Brighton and then to a gay/ t.v friendly club on new years eve.
Both times I was escorted by the nicest t-girls I have ever met, (the only t-girls I had met!) and they looked after me like a sister.
The pub was quiet, and we were all down dressed in jeans and casual clothes, but the club was all about legs, heels, skirts and stockings! I can't begin to tell you what a fantastic time I had, I was hit-on several times by both boys and girls, but in a non-aggressive , admiring way, and I found the whole expeirience absoluteley thrilling. I had to negotiate stairs,( a real thrill!) the ladies loo's, the bar AND not falling off my heels, but I pulled it off with compliments to spare !!
I cannot reccomend being with other girls highly enough, my new life-long friends were absolute angels and I still havent stopped smiling !
I am going to trans-mission in london on saturday 8th jan to do it again, I will gladly meet you or anyone else that needs a steady arm, It is so simple !!

please come out, you are too good looking to be inside.

Here are couple of shots of me after my first trip out to the pub.

i dont have shots of the club yet, my friends took all the pics and I will post them later.

xxxx

[paulaN]

Very nice rusty. I have been looking for someone to dress and go out with for years. I have still to find that someone. That's the part of living in maine that realy sucks. But I'm going to keep looking for that someone and having a great time looking.

[DonnaD]

Alas, that is the very reason I havent gone out enfemme yet, I just can't gird up the courage to do so, not at this point anyway...


DonnaD...

[Ashleigh]

At 6'4" and 265 lbs, with - fairly large forearms and bicepts, it would be impossible for me to pass, even if my face didn't stop a freight train doing 90. When I put my heels on I go to 6'9". Yeah, I wouldn't stand out. Lucky ones who can pass....

[Jenine]

Going out is a huge step, but once you've been out once, it gets easier. I used to live in Central London where I knew no-one so started venturing out. Pretty soon I was walking outside - and meeting guys - almost all the time.

[Trinity_cat]

I know lots of you have been brave enough to go outside or even to a club dressed for the first time this year but for some of us we will never be brave enough to go out dressed. There like me now most of our dressing has to be behind closed doors. However i would be more likely to go out with a group of TV's and would feel much more relaxed. To be honest this is the only chance I have of ever going anywhere dressed. I was wondering who else on here would feel more comfortable going out dressed with a group of like minded people but would never go out on their own?I know exactly what you mean Nina, but one thing troubles me. I've seen your pic and you look great. Remember:-" I look great as a woman " thread? I would have to say that you should have no worries about passing in public. Not like some of us here.
Go girl go ;)

[Sharon]

I know exactly what you mean Nina, but one thing troubles me. I've seen your pic and you look great. Remember:-" I look great as a woman " thread? I would have to say that you should have no worries about passing in public. Not like some of us here.
Go girl go ;)

I have to agree Nina. I've seen your pics also, and I always thought you were one of the fortunate ones.

[sherri]

My unqualified advice is: do it!

I too live in a small conservative town where I would never go out dressed. But there's a larger city an hour away where I found a gay club that welcomes me. Get on the phone and call ahead to just ask them if they welcome crossdressers. That relieves a tremendous amount of anxiety. I'll tell you a little secret: that heartpounding nervousness is difficult to overcome, but once you've been going out for awhile, the time will come when you will remember if fondly — and want to recapture it.

And here's another idea. There's a gay hotel in Oklahoma City called the Habana Inn where you are welcome to be a gurl to your hearts content. Rates are very affordable. It has a good restaurant, a piano bar, two nightclubs, a giftshop and two pools. Within walking distance are other clubs and eateries that welcome crossdressers. I highly recommend it for an entire weekend en femme. It is wonderful. And if you can't get to OKC, there are bound to be other places around the country.

By the way girls, combating crossdresser loneliness is one of my pet crusades. I address this subject in my LiveJournal blog and would luv to have your indepth contributions. (Link on my profile.)

[Steffie-Lee]

I have been going out for years, now. I guess that I pass so well that no one gives me a second look. The Florida Photo (check yesterday's thred) was taken of me in 1985, at age 44, that's how long it has been. Going out dressed is like swimming by your self or solo flying for the first time. You just have to jump in and do it! Most of you have never been out, which is quite a shame as the street needs to brighten up a bit. I go out by myself, day or night in all weathers, hot or cold, rain shine and even snow. The real trick is to blend in, not stick out in a crowd. Dress conservativaly at first, a blouse and a skirt, a simple dress like a working girl would wear. The one part of me taht realy needs work in my face. What I do is lay my makeuo out on a table, and do the best that I can, then when I look in the mirror, I say to my self "this is as good as it gets, and off I go. I have been shopping, used public transportation, have had lunch, and used the ladies room, all without a second look or comment from strangers. Walk down the city street with me some day when the wind is blowing and see the looks I get, mostly from straight men, some whom are with other women. The other day I passed on the street, a friend I have known for years, and he didn't reconise me ! No problems now and I have never had a problem for all the years I have been out. A group?, I wish there was one.It would be fun to share the experience. :)

[jjjjohanne]

A compromise for going out is to go out dressed, but as a male.

Wear a womens top, womens pants, hose and some understated shoes, such as keds or some flats. No one will notice your outfit if you choose it well. And there you will be, out in public and the mall or wherever, with nothing between you and the world but women's wear, and no one is the wiser.

[sandim]

A compromise for going out is to go out dressed, but as a male.

Wear a womens top, womens pants, hose and some understated shoes, such as keds or some flats. No one will notice your outfit if you choose it well. And there you will be, out in public and the mall or wherever, with nothing between you and the world but women's wear, and no one is the wiser.

Androgenous dress is perfect if you have trepidations about going out totally enfemme!
I know men who have larger hips and a bigger bum and wear girls jeans, because they fit better, and they tell me they never had anybody say anything to them!

jjjjohanne, excellent advice!