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linnea
10-09-2006, 10:23 PM
Greetings all!
Well, many of you gave me very good advice and other responses when I inquired about telling my daughter about my being a CD--my daughter is 27 and married, by the way. I have always had a very good relationship with my daughter, and I have often thought, especially in the past ten years that I would like to share my CDing with her. I have also thought that if I were at some time incapacitated or dead, she might be willing to take care of informing others to whom my stash of clothes, make-up, jewelry, etc. would be a mystery and a potential traumatic discovery.
On this latter point, I'm going to write a letter addressed to family and friends explaining my life as a CD and put it with my clothes, etc. in the event that I pass without having revealed my secrets.
So back to "telling my daughter": I did tell her--some.
We had a great time with lots of time together by ourselves. On the second day of the weekend, I decided, when she was asking questions about our family (particularly her grandmother on my side of the family) I decided to use that subject to tell her some other things about myself. I told her about wearing panties (she told me that I should use the phrase "girl's underwear) as a child. I told her about my mother buying me girl's underwear throughout my elementary school years, and I told her about my very first experiment with women's clothing--trying on one of my mother's girdles when I found it hanging on a clothes line in our basement. Then I told her that I sometimes still wear panties (women's underwear). I also told her about the occasions when my mother had me try on girl's dresses in the dressing room of department stores and my mother's occasional comment that she had always wanted to have a girl (she never said to me that she wished that I had been a girl, but she did tell me several times what my name would have been if I had been a girl--Elizabeth).
My daughter listened and asked questions about all of this. She did not express any shock or dismay. Her main response was curiosity. When I told her about trying on the dresses, she said, "Dad, I'll bet that a lot of mothers have done that. I don't think that that's any kind of big deal."
She also asked me if I was wearing panties right at that time that we were talking. I wasn't, so I told her so. She asked if I would be wearing them at any time during the weekend. I was going to that night after I returned to my hotel, so I told her so. She asked me who else knew. I said no one. She said, "That's probably good." She asked how often I wore panties, and I told her that some weeks it was every day, but that I supposed that it averaged out to be about half the time. Then she asked me the question that seems inevitable after taking the disclosure this far: "Do you wear other women's clothes?" On that one I fudged a little (okay, maybe a lot) and said, "I have worn a few other things."
She didn't really pursue it any more, partly because we ran out of time. She had to catch a plane. I feel as though I have now broken the ground and that it was positive. My daughter did not "stress out" over this. Perhaps, after she reflects on it, she may have other questions and she may have some distress or qualms. But the way things went, I think that we have established a ground for making this a positive experience. Of course, I hope so.
This was the most important thing that I did over the weekend. However, I also had an opportunity to dress en femme and go out for a little shopping. After leaving my daughter at the airport, I went back to the hotel and changed, took some pictures (see the attachments), then went to bed in one of my favorite nighties. I had a good night's rest, got up, took a bath, cleaned up, put on fresh makeup and clothes, checked out of the hotel dressed enfemme, and headed for an outlet mall near the city. Any of you who live in the Seattle area will probably familiar with the outlet mall at North Bend. That's where I went. There I visit and shopped in three stores: Dress Barn, Bali, and Vanity Fair. They all have outdoor entrances, so I walked along the outside sidewalks, got mostly smiles, a couple of odd looks, and enjoyed browsing without any incident other than one would expect on a shopping trip ("Do you need any help, dear?", etc.). I left that outlet mall and headed east toward my home city, stopping at the Dress Barn in the Tri-Cities (southeast Washington) where I shopped, tried on two skirts and some slacks, and bought three pairs of panty hose.
All in all, I had a very wonderful weekend. I hope that all of you did too.

Sophia Rearen
10-10-2006, 08:38 AM
You should be proud of your daughter and you must have done a wonderful job raising her. Congrats.

Jenny Beth
10-10-2006, 09:40 AM
Glad to hear things went so well with your daughter. No doubt you have left her with lots to think about so the next time you chat you will certainly feel a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I think you will also find it gets easier from here to be completely open with her about yourself and there is the possibility that someday she may be curious to meet your feminine side. Years ago I had a similar discussion with my daughter and it turned out to be the best one I'd ever had. This is an account of her last visit http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22036. She will be coming to visit next month and I expect it will be even better. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat.

Vivian Best
10-10-2006, 09:58 AM
Hi Linnea,

Congratulations on telling your daughter and it going so well. I know it's a load off your shoulders. One thing I'd ask you to be especially sensitive to about your daughter now knowing about your dressing is that you haven't taken the load off your shoulders and put it on hers.

I really never gave any thought to the passing of the load until I told my wife about my xdressing and she made that statement to me. Just a thought!

linnea
10-10-2006, 03:15 PM
This is a really good point, Vivian. It actually did cross my mind as I thought about taking this step. As a related topic, I also considered that by telling my daughter and not anyone else, I was putting her in the position of possibly having to lie to protect my secret. I'm not very comfortable when I think about it that way. I hope that by telling her in a way that honors and respects her feelings, we will share rather than keep the secret. It's probably splitting hairs to make this distinction; however, I think in intimate relationships that's what happens with sensitive information and experiences.
Thank you for your very thoughtful response.


Hi Linnea,

Congratulations on telling your daughter and it going so well. I know it's a load off your shoulders. One thing I'd ask you to be especially sensitive to about your daughter now knowing about your dressing is that you haven't taken the load off your shoulders and put it on hers.

I really never gave any thought to the passing of the load until I told my wife about my xdressing and she made that statement to me. Just a thought!

Sarah Rabbit
10-10-2006, 04:35 PM
Hi Linnea

That gave me tingles down my spine..'When she asked if anyone else knew', It got me thinking,do you think she might react badly if anyone else did know

Sarah R. :bunny:

Jasmine Ellis
10-10-2006, 04:48 PM
your a sweety thanks for sharing:hugs:

SherriePall
10-10-2006, 04:51 PM
Linnea -- Good for you that your daughter received the news so well. Adding to what Vivian wrote, I'll tell you what my wife said after I told her. She commented that I had now pulled her into the closet with me (she's a little bit paranoid about anyone else finding out and that prevents her from talking to anyone about it).
I hope that all continues to go well in the future.

Kimberly
10-10-2006, 04:55 PM
Well done for breaking the ice. :)

linnea
10-11-2006, 02:58 PM
thank you all for your very encouraging comments. This is a work in progress. I'm sure that I'm going to be telling my daughter more in the future, small steps at a time as she expresses a desire to know more.