How happy can red tights and a lacy dress make me?

[cd_michelle_mpls]

i have struggled for years with my identity, what i want from life and what makes me happy. i'm sure i'd benefit from professional help, but i'm not that interested in the time, expense or honesty it would involve. i fear it would take me years to analyze everything, and if i did, would my life automatically be better off? i doubt it. my struggles are wide ranged, like most people, i suppose. crossdressing is but one part of it.

i'm not sure if having a consenting partner would help me, ultimately. it would obviously be beneficial, but i have never had, and doubt i ever will, have a compulsion to live as a woman. (it sounds nice, don't get me wrong.)

sure, if i could wave a magic wand and make crossdressing as accepted in society as, say, tattoos, i'd do it. but i assume it will always have a stigma attached to it by society as long as i live, so having the keys to the closet from a partner, but still having to hide that part of me from most of the world, wouldn't make my life better. i'm not the type of person who is every going to challenge the notions of society by pushing the boundaries, i care too much about what people think and how they look at me, no matter how little that allegedly matters. having a wife/girlfriend, and the freedom to dress regularly, would improve my life in some ways, but perhaps hinder it in others, as my frustration level could increase. or am i wrong?

[scarlet]

hey you said alot there . I hear where your comming from though I have alot of the same thoughts also. I'm also from the twin cities so welcome neighbor

[Lisa Golightly]

Never been into deconstruction of the self... It's too industrial for my taste. A product of an industrial society that sees people as numbers to be processed by the numbers. I've always preferred to admire the art over the brush stroke.

Maybe I'm just a rebel... In my own stylish idiom ;)

[ShannonDragon]

Clothes can make you happy for a short time, but to be truly happy you have to learn to like yourself for what and who you are.

You also need to realize that we all have limits. Accepting and living with that knowledge will make things go smoother. The times you can let go and be your true self will be that much sweeter.

:tongueout

[Kelsy]

I think that initially for me it was the taboo and sexual awakening that made dressing so exciting! the fear and humiliation of be caught OMG! I still believe those things are still in play but the reasons have changed somewhat. I dress
more now because thats who I am. acceptance from society will never be complete but the other half of the battle is acceptance of self! that's atleast half if not two thirds of the battle. I am who I am, a man who loves dressing in womens clothes because I have a strong femmine side. Acceptance of that has made me a much happy and complete person. therapy will not change a thing. I love being a girl and I find my time an place to be just that!

luv Jennifer:be:

[Felicia]

Michelle: I can only echo what others have said here. First you need to like yourself, who you are, and what you like to be dressed. As we have learned from so many others in this form, there are as many levels of crossdressing as there are people in here. Also as we grow older and more experianced in accepting who we are, only then do attain a comfort level with our own acceptance. If we can't accept ourselves then how can we expect others to accept us? (HUG) Felicia

[cd_michelle_mpls]

i wonder, if i am happy with other aspects of my life, will crossdressing be more fulfilling? will it be easier to accept? will i be happier with the limitations i am compelled to live with because i'm unwilling to purse a 24/7 arrangement?

i am working on two important aspects of my life, aspects that are more important to me on a daily basis than wearing tights and a bra. i will be interested to find out how i feel about my femme self when i resolve the most pressing two issues.

[Rachel Morley]

having the keys to the closet from a partner, but still having to hide that part of me from most of the world, wouldn't make my life better. i'm not the type of person who is every going to challenge the notions of society by pushing the boundaries, i care too much about what people think and how they look at me, no matter how little that allegedly matters.I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't think about your life, that's your business. But worryng about what others think of you to the extent that it impacts your happiness is never a good thing.

[Tammi_52]

In my experience only...my CDing is a way to "shut out the world" yet I must still deal with the realities of my GM life. I can't tell my everyday problems to "talk to Tammi." But as Tammi I can tell the problems to "take a back seat"....at least for a while. I believe that my dressing plays a healthy part in my life, but I don't believe that it should take over my life. My thoughts only. :thumbsup:

[Tara1]

Hi, IMHO, there's allot on your plate right now, why not place your CDing in the "peas & carrots" section?

We all have our reasons, excuses, thoughts and ideas why we are cross dressers. There is no real answer, let's face it...

At least I haven't found it yet.

Struggling with identity sucks, been there and I feel your pain. I'm new to this forum yet experienced as a CD,Bi,Curious,Masculan,Fem, what a hoot!

Take a step back, don't defray from your day to day routine/desires, just take a breath. Look for something in life that interests you and pursue it.

Whatever your passion, build on it and move forward. If CD is your passion, go with it, like wise, design, nature, etc.

Forget about pleasing people, or what people think, time wasted!

As I mentioned earlier, it took me 40-years to put things into perspective, I'm hoping you're half my age with a running start.

Hugs & more,
Tara

[cd_michelle_mpls]

for the record i am in my mid 30s. i have experimented with my femme self in many different ways all my life.

i realize nobody can answer my questions, except me, i've simply been thinking out loud. but i do appreciate the feedback and thoughts of others.

i am focused on two goals right now. if i can satisfy those goals, my outlook on life will be different, and perhaps i'll be able to embrace my femme self more eagerly. perhaps then red tights and a silky dress will make me as happy as they should.

well, they won't, not without a GG to share my life with, but that's another story.