Crazy People

[noname]

I talked to my sis tonight, and this time I did not keep my mouth quiet. I probably said some things I shouldn't have, but at the same time I said, what I felt was important, and needed to be said.

She called and I don't know where it came from but I found it odd. She mentioned something about guys wearing high heels and how freeky wierd they are. I responded with, so? if that is what they like. She went on to say, no! IT'S A CRISIS DON'T YOU GET IT A CRISIS! A crisis of what I asked? I dunno she says but's a crisis. She went on to say she knows those types of people, and how creepy they are.

We went back and fourth a bit. She couldn't come to grips that maybe just maybe they wear it because they like it. She then goes on to say that guy who wear anything girly or womens shoes are gay, and not only are they gay, but they hang out with creepy people and do drugs. So I then proposed the question, would you rather have a guy wearing a yellow dress for a neighbor or a drug dealer? She said she would rather have the drug dealer. Really?! I exclaimed. She goes on to say, if you had kids you'd feel the same way.

I told that statisically they are strait men. She then goes on how she knew one, and he was gay and did drugs. So you think they are all that way? I ask. She said yes. Now she knows pants used to be only for men. So I asked her, what if I said that you and your family is creepy for wearing pants. Oh please she says. No really, in fact I think you might be a lesbian because I knew this lesbian once and she wore pants. So I proceeded are you certain, your not living some secret life.

So yeah, she got pissed and 'had to go' it is just me, or is this freeky crazy. I can understand someone not understanding, but this is like, WOW.

[Brianna Lovely]

Hmmm, and we wonder why so many gurls are terrified and hidding in the closet.
I think you did a good thing, trying to talk to your sister, but it's hard to change people's minds.

Last week I had a "clash" with some dear friends of mine. A long story, but I'll make it as short as possible.
Two weeks ago I was out doing errands in my "semi" mode, skirt, tank-top, sandals, nails done, carrying a purse. My friend Katie (who I've known for 15 years) called my cell phone and invited me over for coffee. I stopped by and Katie, Joe (her husband) and I chatted for about an hour. A few days later she called and said she had to talk to me and could I come over.

After sipping coffee and some idle chit-chat, she said that she was a devout Christian, and was very upset that I had come to her house wearing a skirt the other day and would I please never do it again. I didn't know what to say, I think I was in shock, because her sister, used to be her brother.

Anyway, a couple of days later, I sent her an email, saying how hurt I was and how surprised I was, that she, of all people, would be so prejudiced.

Katie later apologized and said she could not see ending our friendship, over a skirt. She went on to say that I can wear whatever I want.

[noname]

"Anyway, a couple of days later, I sent her an email, saying how hurt I was and how surprised I was, that she, of all people, would be so prejudiced.

Katie later apologized and said she could not see ending our friendship, over a skirt. She went on to say that I can wear whatever I want."

Glad to hear of that. It's too bad more people don't show maturity.

[suzanne]

I think it's helpful to view these people not as crazy, but as uninformed, and that it will be a long time before a balanced view of us becomes commonplace. How long did it take the homosexual community to get where it is today?

I see no examples in the today's media that portrays a CD accurately. Actually, one exception might have been on the Drew Carey show, where Drew's CD brother Steve seemed normal except for his taste in clothes. I identify with him, as we look very similar. Another great example is Lola in the recent movie "Kinky Boots", or Bree in Transamerica. Both 'Must See's.

Anyway, it appears that we are only just beginning to appear on the general public's radar screen. It's unrealistic to expect minds to change this soon. Patience and perserverance.

[Phyliss]

There are some people in the world who have a particular view of life and "the way things ought to be". No matter what happens they just will not change their opinion.
I remember hearing a phrase, and I can't remember where i heard it but it has stuck with me. "Those who are convinced against their will, are of the same opinion still"

Not that I'm being a defeatist, but I'm realistic enough to know that even though I inform people of some things, they will usually remain with their own preconceived notion, of what they believe.

To have a person realize that their belief system has been in error is a very difficult thing for them to accept.

[Kelsy]

Two weeks ago I was out doing errands in my "semi" mode, skirt, tank-top, sandals, nails done, carrying a purse.

Hey Brianna,

If this is your semi mode than what would be "full mode"!!! I can appreciate your total honesty and fearlessness in revealing who you are but I can also understand your friends reaction. The question i have is did your friends have any idea you dress this way or did you just walk in cold wearing a skirt?? Personally, I would prefer coming out in stages, giving them a few hints, and allowing them a little adjustment time. I am happy to see that your friends are just that friends and are able to accept you as you are!!

Jennifer:be:

[lisa68]

You handle very well as I'm concern! But there are people who feel that way, because they are not seeing the whole picture that there are people want to live how they feel and one apple dosen't spoil the whole bunch. She think that what if women didn't take chance and burn their bras for women rights! Like you say they wouldn't be wearing pants. Some people need more time.

[KarenSusan]

So I then proposed the question, would you rather have a guy wearing a yellow dress for a neighbor or a drug dealer? She said she would rather have the drug dealer.

I don't wish to offend you, noname, but if your sister seriously feels this way then her head is not screwed on right.

[Sophia Rearen]

... if you had kids you'd feel the same way.



She cannot be serious. I have kids and there is no way I, or any parent would rather a drug dealer living next door. Was she even listening to herself talk at this point?

[silkyheels]

People need time. That's true for so many things, but especially these situattions. She might be upset that she didn't work it out before, or that you kept it from her, and it might partly be a reaction to that. As I say, give her some breathing space. She might come to her senses. Good luck. xx

[donnapink]

I love your response to your sister about the pants. I don't know that I would have been calm enough to zing back at her. I do agree with you it was very coincidental that she called and freaked out about men wearing high heels. I wonder what she wouldsay about panties?

[vbcdgrl]

Maybe your sister has a "macho" hubby or BF who's filling her head with these ideas.

Vikki

[Bonnie D]

Noname, did your sister not wonder why you were standing up for crossdressers? I'm glad you did and continue being patient with her. All she needs is to be better informed. In fact that's usually the cause for most prejudices, lack of information or misinformation.

Bonnie

[Stacy GG]

She cannot be serious. I have kids and there is no way I, or any parent would rather a drug dealer living next door. Was she even listening to herself talk at this point?

I totally agree seeing as I had a hard drug dealer living nearby ( scary), I would much preffer a crossdresser :2c:

[Wendy me]

wow so she said you can wear a skirt???? was this talk abought you??? dose she know ???? ................

[vickie_tv1556]

We can't clump everyone together, we all dress for a number of different reasons. Some are gay some strait and some bi. We all have our individualality, but have a common bond of dressing.
When we face life with a open mind, the journey is so much nicer.
Love to all,
Vickie

[Elly]

i don't get how it can be a crisis, maybe she's convinced by an SO of hers that crossdressing is bad and/or of the devil(?), she could have thaught it was a crisis if she saw multiple people doing it on coming out day, or maybe she joined a new cult, cults kinda think like that especialy radical xtian ones...
anywayz it's not right for people to lump a group together and label them crazy just because they don't understand them, this kind of thinking is the very same that motivates hate crimes, murder, beatings, ect...

[Brianna Lovely]

Hey Brianna,

If this is your semi mode than what would be "full mode"!!! I can appreciate your total honesty and fearlessness in revealing who you are but I can also understand your friends reaction. The question i have is did your friends have any idea you dress this way or did you just walk in cold wearing a skirt?? Personally, I would prefer coming out in stages, giving them a few hints, and allowing them a little adjustment time. I am happy to see that your friends are just that friends and are able to accept you as you are!!

Jennifer:be:

I've been wearing nail polish (1/2" long nails), tos done too, fem sandals and missy shorts for about two months. I've been to their house a number of times and nothing was said.

Yes, my "semi" mode does not include makeup, wig or jewelry.

To be honest, I don't have the time or patience for the "go slowly" approach. I'm a mature lady, with a limited life expectancy, so I may be a little insensative at times.

[Snookums]

Noname my entire family thinks like your sister does,the solution to that problem is they never hear from me any more,I haven't talked with any of them in 6 years.
They feel entitled to berate me,talk down to me,and insult me.

[SherriePall]

Noname -- Some people are like that. Don't confuse them with the facts, their minds are made up. I do hope things work out better for you with your sister.
And Suzanne mentioned Drew Carey's brother on the show was a CDer. HOWEVER did you realize that after he married Mimi that they never had him crossdressed again. Were they showing that marriage cured him? Or were they trying to show that he wasn't gay because he married Mimi and was no longer crossdressing? I was disappointed the way things turned out on that show. Had a chance to show a real positive pic of us, but failed to follow through.

[shae]

... I think you might be a lesbian because I knew this lesbian once and she wore pants... WOW.

*HOWL* - yup, turn it around. Last night I had a fellow look me over in the grocery checkout line, he kept shaking his head, so I confronted him and said, "Welcome to the 21st Century, old fella" - then realized I know him in guy mode, and he's only in his forties, with several years worth of hard drinking making him look like he's in his sixties. What, I'm supposed to give energy to a naysayer who can't even take care of himself? Ha!

oooh, and another response to this thread mentioned " ...she was a devout Christian, and was very upset that I had come to her house wearing a skirt ...". Clue me in, or was she trying to intimidate you into following her opinions by invoking Christianity? Or has the religious thing fried her mind? (It does happen)

Let me put it this way: when you're on your deathbed, are you going to wish you had spent more of your time working and not trying anything new&different? Probably not. I'll give thanks for the things I did with my time.

[Kathryn Philips]

I talked to my sis tonight, and this time I did not keep my mouth quiet. I probably said some things I shouldn't have, but at the same time I said, what I felt was important, and needed to be said.

She called and I don't know where it came from but I found it odd. She mentioned something about guys wearing high heels and how freeky wierd they are. I responded with, so? if that is what they like. She went on to say, no! IT'S A CRISIS DON'T YOU GET IT A CRISIS! A crisis of what I asked? I dunno she says but's a crisis. She went on to say she knows those types of people, and how creepy they are...

Your sister is just like my wife.

[noname]

For those who have asked, she was serious about rather having a drug dealer for a neighbor than a cd. Truely Insane imo. Does she know about me? No, although she may suspect, especially now. This whole thing is a bunch of bs, and I'm talking about the whole cd term itself. Such a shame people can't see someone who does not dress conventionally and think, he/she must just likes those clothes/shoes/hairstyle. Actually pretty selfish of people. Yeah, because we all know style and taste is dictated by our sexual organs.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Sounds like your sister is getting her "facts" from the Jerry Springer show, no-name.

"It's a crisis!" ROFL

[Charity's GG]

Wow...where do I start with this one??...I am not trying to disrespect anyone or make anyone mad so I apologize if anything said is hurtful..

Religion...imho...is very complicated. How can "devout Christians" be so judgemental and self righteous?? It seems to me that in their eyes, the rest of the world is horrible. I have a sister who is a Christian, and is very active in her church. But since Ive not lived up to HER expectations, and made mistakes in life, I am going straight to hell. Yeah she more or less told me that!...So i ask you, what gives them the right to be so judgemental??!!

It's a crisis!!!....Wow noname! i am so sorry. I know the world is less excepting of cd's,and I find that disheartening. Yes I sometimes need a break from my husbands dressing, but he is who he is and I love him. I find that cd's are a more caring, loving group of people and if the world will give yall half a chance, it would be a much better place to live!

Ok, Ive rambled on long enough and probably not made any sense. But anyway, have a beautiful day!:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

You're right Hon. You can't have it both ways. Either it works for both or none. People who think this way are definately "one sided" and "crazy" in that they are programmed to think only one way and can't seem to think for themselves. Wonder what she would think of me when I crossdress as "Eric"? Am I a drug dealer or just plain nuts?:happy: Eric(ka).

[jarts55]

People are intolerant and fear what they don't understand. They like put people in groups to classify them. I go to church twice just about every Sunday. I am sure there are people (wife is one)there who would drop dead if I went dressed the way I really want to. Really want to go one Sunday in a dress and heels. I can't believe God will sent people to Hell for the clothes they wear. Jesus wants a close personal relationship with each of us. We have to careful and not let other things come between us and that relationship. I have a problem with some things in my life doing that. Sports is just one. Did you girls see the player in Nashville stomp on the other player's head? My wife told me that is something that I would do if I got the chance. I should have told her that if I were Julie more often I would stop be that way. Julie don't like sports very much. And the meek shall inherit the earth. I want my part to have a beach and mountain in it.

[kateyliz]

There are some people in the world who have a particular view of life and "the way things ought to be". No matter what happens they just will not change their opinion.
I remember hearing a phrase, and I can't remember where i heard it but it has stuck with me. "Those who are convinced against their will, are of the same opinion still"
I think it is: "He who complies against his will, is of his own opinion still" Nathaniel Hawthorne, a long time ago. I found it in the old LA Free Press also a long time ago and liked it a lot. Hugs, Kathy