Small steps.

[MonaSmith]

Hi all,

I have just come out to my Mum for the second time. Let me try to explain (not my strong point).

I told my Mum about my crossdressing when I was about 14/15. She knew already, due mostly to my sloppy clothes-hiding skills. She said it was okay and asked the usual questions (are you gay? Do you want to be a woman, Etc). She has always known, but has never brought the subject up since, unless I have. Which is part of the problem, as I have never had the confidence to show her Mona and I could never bring myself to talk to her about Mona either. Pathetic, I know.

Well, today I finally pulled myself together. I was out shopping this morning and I bought a pretty picture frame, I put my best picture (my uncut Avatar pic) in the frame and wrapped it up in pretty gold wrapping paper. At dinner I asked a few questions to feel out the territory a bit, and then gave it to her, telling her that it was a late Christmas present. My heart was in my mouth, making dinner very difficult to eat, she opened it and looked at me funny. "Is that you?" she asked. "yes" I said, head down, playing with my food. "Wow, I would never have recognised you, you look like a woman". Well, at this point my heart was beating so hard that I could barely hear over it. She loved the picture, she told me she loved me, and we talked non-stop about it for the whole meal. She has all our family pictures up on her bedroom wall and she said that she wants to add Mona to the family and hang the picture up with the rest. I am so happy right now. She said that she didn't mind if I dressed around the house and would be as involved as I wanted her to be.

It was only a small step compared with some of the very courageous things that some of the girls here have done, but it was a step nonetheless. It worked very well as a way of letting her know, without the shock and embarrassment, for both of us, of having me dress and confront her. I am planning on showing my sister next.

2005 is going to be a very good year, I can feel it.

[Kerri]

Dear Mona, I'm sooooo happy for you! Your bravery & courage & and sharing is such a wonderful thing for you and your Mum to now be able to experience together. Well done Mona! I loved your story and really admire your decision and your courageous action and results ... it even brought tears to my eyes. Here's hoping that 05' is going to be not just a good year ... but a fantastic year for you.

Kerri

[MonaSmith]

Thanks Kerri,

Like I said it wasn't very much, but I thought that I would share it. It seemed like a good way of breaking her in gently, and it worked very well for me.

I hope that 2005 is fantastic for you too.

[Rachel_740]

Mona,

That's fantasitic news and a huge step. I'm so pleased that your Mum accepted the picture and accepts you! Wanting to put the picture on her wall tells me that your Mum is more than accepting of you, and chatting throughout your meal really says everything.

I know you have only just told her, but have you any plans yet to show her Mona?

As you say, a brilliant start to what looks like being a great year for you.

Hugs and kisses,

Rachel

PS. I just looked at your profile and I see it's your birthday in a few weeks. How about dressing for your birthday - just a thought

[MonaSmith]

Hi Rachel,

Thank you, I don't think that I am quite ready to show her Mona, face to face, yet, but I think that it will be sooner rather than later. I am just happy that Mona is now part of the family.

[Sharon]

Mona,
Small step? Dang girl, that was huge! Congratulations and much happiness.
Love,
Sharon

[SilkenPrincess]

HOORAY FOR MONA!!!
YOU GO GIRL!!!
I am feeling very happy for you right now. Best of luck, sweetheart!
Love,
SilkenPrincess

[MonaSmith]

Thanks Sharon.

Like I said, she knew that I crossdressed, but now she knows that Mona is a (nearly) fully formed person in her own right. It wasn't a huge step but it is the first step. I just have to make sure I keep up the momentum, and don't chicken out and back down.

SilkenPrincess, thank too, for you kind words of support.

[KayleighTV_UK]

Mona thats amazing!!

Im so happy for you.. i wish i could have that level of acceptance here with my mum!!!

I really really am over the moon for you!

X

Kay

[MonaSmith]

Mona thats amazing!!

Im so happy for you.. i wish i could have that level of acceptance here with my mum!!!

I really really am over the moon for you!

X

KayHi Kay, and thank you.
How are things going with you at the moment? I know that you were having problems before.

[KayleighTV_UK]

Hi Kay, and thank you.
How are things going with you at the moment? I know that you were having problems before.


Oh im ok.. depressed.. feeling cold and alone, but im ok!!!
Dont you just hate lonelyness??? its a horrible thing..
As for the mum thing, its getting.. closer, not quite where i want to be at the moment!

Kay

[Suzanna_CD]

That's wonderful Mona! I'm so happy for you! Times like this make me want to go tell my mom. Oh and I haven't commented before on it, but I love your new avatar. I bet that was quite the picture :) .

[MonaSmith]

Oh im ok.. depressed.. feeling cold and alone, but im ok!!!
Dont you just hate lonelyness??? its a horrible thing..
As for the mum thing, its getting.. closer, not quite where i want to be at the moment!

KayKay, it sounds like you are ok!!! Keep the faith babe, It can and will get better. As they say, slow and steady wins the race.

[MonaSmith]

That's wonderful Mona! I'm so happy for you! Times like this make me want to go tell my mom. Oh and I haven't commented before on it, but I love your new avatar. I bet that was quite the picture :) .Make sure the time is right Suzanna, I hope when you tell her she is as easy about it as mine was. Thanks for the compliment, I am really happy with the pic (thanks Gen), it has given me a great deal of confidence and made my coming out properly, to my Mum, a lot easier.

[Wenda]

That is marvellous, Mona!! It is not a small step, it is a crucial step that everyone is afraid to take. Just not having it as a secret is a marvellous feeling. congratulations! wenda

[Julie]

It was only a small step compared with some of the very courageous things that some of the girls here have done, but it was a step nonetheless. It worked very well as a way of letting her know, without the shock and embarrassment, for both of us, of having me dress and confront her. I am planning on showing my sister next.

2005 is going to be a very good year, I can feel it.

Mona, you under estimate. This was no small step you took even though you told your mum about your crossdressing when you were 14/15, even after sounding her out you could just have easy got a negative response.

I'm so happy that she was so positive and over the moon that she sees fit to add Mona to the family picture gallery.

Good luck for when you reveal Mona to your sister and by todays happenings it won't be long before your mother meets Mona in person.

Well done Mona and good luck

Love Julie J

[MonaSmith]

Thanks Wenda, I appreciate that. It is a very nice feeling not having to tiptoe around at home any more. Next up is my sister!

[genevieve_ohara]

Hi!

And CONGRATULATIONS!

That took some of that ol' Winston Churchill-sized steely resolve, eh?

I am so proud of you!

I am so HAPPY for you!

And I know it's just the beginning!

Love you...

G

[Wenda]

Keep going. I told my daughter, she was ok. She told me her older brother has 'the same hobby.' When she was here for a visit she told him that I was dressing, he emailed me and we chatted about it in some detail several times. We haven't been anywhere together dressed, but just having it in the open is a marvellous relief. wenda.

[MonaSmith]

Mona, you under estimate. This was no small step you took even though you told your mum about your crossdressing when you were 14/15, even after sounding her out you could just have easy got a negative response.

I'm so happy that she was so positive and over the moon that she sees fit to add Mona to the family picture gallery.

Good luck for when you reveal Mona to your sister and by todays happenings it won't be long before your mother meets Mona in person.

Well done Mona and good luck

Love Julie JThank you too Julie. I have taken more steps forward since finding this forum, that I have in years. The support from everyone here makes it so much easier to do this stuff.

Mum wanted to put the picture up in the living room at first, but then I pointed out that people would ask who it is, and I'm not quite ready for everyone to know.

I will see my sister in a couple of weeks, so I will have to get another picture frame for then, lol. I really want them to meet Mona properly but I am not quite ready for that yet, I feel like it's getting close though.

[MonaSmith]

Hi!

And CONGRATULATIONS!

That took some of that ol' Winston Churchill-sized steely resolve, eh?

I am so proud of you!

I am so HAPPY for you!

And I know it's just the beginning!

Love you...

GThank you for everything that you have done for me Gen, I love you so much for helping me get to where I am, and in just a few short weeks too. You should write a crossdressers self-help book, with chapters on photography and makeup techniques, of course. You rock babe.

[Lauren Richards]

Mona,
It is the taking of any step which is important, not the size. After all, small steps can lead to large changes when they are taken on the edge of a cliff. Please do not diminish your own courage, nor honor, for taking the BIG step of sharing your inner self with your Mother. You have not only taken a big step, but have also given her one of the most valuable gifts any of us can share - your trust. Huge. And what a nice way to do it! Bye the way, your new avatar is Great! Is that the picture you had framed?

Best of everything to you in this new year. Expect the best - that way you get to enjoy it even longer.

Lauren

[MonaSmith]

Mona,
It is the taking of any step which is important, not the size. After all, small steps can lead to large changes when they are taken on the edge of a cliff. Please do not diminish your own courage, nor honor, for taking the BIG step of sharing your inner self with your Mother. You have not only taken a big step, but have also given her one of the most valuable gifts any of us can share - your trust. Huge. And what a nice way to do it! Bye the way, your new avatar is Great! Is that the picture you had framed?

Best of everything to you in this new year. Expect the best - that way you get to enjoy it even longer.

LaurenThat's very sweet of you Lauren, thank you. The picture was my new avatar. It's one of the few pics of Mona that I actually like.

All the best to you too Lauren.

[Julie York]

I have something in my eye ok!
That's all it is.
Just a grit thing.
OK!!!!!

[MonaSmith]

I have something in my eye ok!
That's all it is.
Just a grit thing.
OK!!!!!Lol. Hi Julie, there seems to be a lot of that grit flying about here too lately.

[Amelie]

Mona, I am so glad for you. It's good to hear of such happiness. Hope your next steps in life are just as happy.
Love Amelie

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Mona, grrl, I think that was brave and fabulous! I'm so happy for you:)

hugs
kew

[MonaSmith]

Thank you so much Amelie, I hope that this is just the start of a very worthwhile adventure.
Thank you too Kew. I wish that everybody could be as happy as I am right now. It's a good thing that I don't have to go to work tomorrow, because I am in no mood to sleep.

[Fallen Angel]

mona your one of the sweetist ladies on this sight,and im glad for you, its great being in a new milanium where things that one time would be very boo-coo and today are very acceptable( dont think i spelled that right)but my heels off to you!! people like you are very rare and im glad that your here.

[jennilouise]

Congrats mona

you have got one up on me darling

[Bonnie-OR]

Way to go Mona. It's not a small step at all. I'd rather take the risk of alienating a friend than My Mother. Just think what could have happened had she taken it badly, and you had to endure many years without talking to her. I am so happy for you. Any idea how Sis will take it??? Giant huggs to Mona. Bonnie

[Donna Louise]

Mona

That was fantastic. You are so very brave girl. I could never give my Mom a pic of Donna. She would totally loose it. I am so happy for you. You now can build a wonderful loving relationship with your Mother.

Donna Louise

[Rachel_740]

Mona, Juli J and Kay,

I see your all fairly close to each other. Why not arrange a girlie night for yourselves, Tart yourselves up, arrange a meet and go for it girls!!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel

[MonaSmith]

Thank you all so very much.

It wasn't really that big a deal, the anticipation was the worst bit. My sister should be okay with it too. I hope so anyway. We are close and I wouldn't want to damage our relationship in any way. I've got a couple of weeks before I see her next, so I can get myself properly prepared.

Thank you fallen angel 1, Jennifer, Bonnie and Donna Louise, I appreciate all your support and kind words.

[LauraB]

Mona

No it was not a small step by any ones standards

I think you are a very brave girl and i am proud of you

well done
Love
Laura

[DonnaT]

I agree with the others, it was a rather big step. With an even bigger step coming up. I wanted to tell my mother back in Oct., but my wife made me promise not to do it yet. So I know the courage it took.

When you tell your sister are you going to be at your mothers? It will help ease the anxiety if you are.

Take your things with you, and once everyone has talked, it will come up agian, about dressing in front of them. Tell them you have your stuff but it may take a while to fix yourself up properly (which I doubt will take that long from avatar ;) ) if they really would like to meet Mona in person.

You really need to do this, because they can give you honest constructive critisism on your appearance that they can't judge from a picture. And once all the oohs and ahhs are done, your confidence level will be off the chart! :D

Gosh I'm glad I had something good to tear up over :) Your Mother sounds lovely, and I just know mine will be the same. I like the picture idea too. I'm gonna have to think on that, as, when dressed, I kinda look like she did some years back.

[wilma]

way to go Mona. Sounds like you and your mom have a lot more to talk about now. LOL Wilma

[Sabrina]

Hi Mona

you go girl friend

sabrina

[MonaSmith]

Ahh you girls are all so kind.

Thanks Laura, I feel much better for doing it.

Donna I'm not sure if I am ready to show them in the flesh just yet, but I think that it will happen fairly soon. I don't want to get ahead of myself. My Mum is an amazing person, I love her to bits.

Wilma we still have a lot to discuss, she was asking me about my clothes and stuff already. A shopping trip can't be far behind.

Thanks Sabrina I will, lol. You too.

[Tristen Cox]

Well what can I add here.. Yipppeee! Good for you Mona! It's does sound to me like she is very accepting and that is wondeful for both of you. Enjoy the 'glow-time'. It's terrific ain't it :cool: Hope you find a similiar reaction when you tell your sister. Good luck. It's gonna be a good year!

Love & hugs
Tristen

[racquel]

Big steps more like it.I am so happy for you.
Ilove this forum where I can tear up with joy and feel all warm and tingly for you.

[MonaSmith]

Hi Tristen,
You're right about the 'glow-time' It is terrific, and probably highly addictive too. I can't wait to tell my sister, I'm sure that she will be okay with it. Thank you so very much.

Raquel, thank you too for kindness, I agree wholeheartedly with you about this place, it is the reason that I am starting to progress after so many years of inertia. I have cried and laughed more since joining, than I ever imagined I could.

[Wendy me]

mona sorry for being late........thats so good to here......moms an't thay greate??????
mostly just want you to be happy
love your mom ,she has a good heart

[Tamara Croft]

Wow Mona that's so kewl. It might have only been a small thing you gave her, but it was certainly a big thing coming out like that too her. You should be proud of the courage you have and cherish that moment when she said 'you look like a woman!!!'

Tamara x

[MonaSmith]

Thank you Wendy and you too Tamara,

My Mum is brilliant, I love her so much, she is always there for me, to pick up my shattered pieces when I am broken, and to put me back together again.

I will never forget her reaction, it made me so happy, I knew that she wouldn't reject me, but I wasn't expecting quite so much acceptance and happiness. I am very lucky.

Thank you both,

Love Mona xx.

[Wendy me]

mona she's a mom abouve all ......one of god's best works

[Fiona K]

That bloody grit is flying around up here now too, sniff.
Mona,
I am so pleased it went well, it was an amazingly brave thing to do, though you do have a head start in the looking great stakes!!

You have gotten 2005 of to a fantastic start, I can't tell you how much this has given me a lift too!
Love
Fiona

[MonaSmith]

That bloody grit is flying around up here now too, sniff.
Mona,
I am so pleased it went well, it was an amazingly brave thing to do, though you do have a head start in the looking great stakes!!

You have gotten 2005 of to a fantastic start, I can't tell you how much this has given me a lift too!
Love
FionaFiona this grit problem is getting out of hand, another wave just hit me here too.

You are so nice to me, and I really am sure that I don't deserve it. Compared with some of the things other girls have had the guts to do, yourself included, what I did was an easy and safe option. I still have a long way to go, but I am very optimistic for the future, well the immediate future anyway. My sister should react well too, beyond that I'm not so sure, friends and other family might take a lot more guts and a lot longer to build up to.

I hope that 2005 is great for you too Fiona, I think that you deserve it for being such a positive influence on all the threads that you post on.

Love

Mona xx.

[Fiona K]

A bit of mutual support and love from the girls on this site will see us all through Mona, this place is really important to me and will be though 2005 I think.

I just wish I thought your brave photo idea would work for me too..... maybe some day.
love
Fiona

[MonaSmith]

A bit of mutual support and love from the girls on this site will see us all through Mona, this place is really important to me and will be though 2005 I think.

I just wish I thought your brave photo idea would work for me too..... maybe some day.
love
FionaYou are so right Fiona, I also intend to be here for a long time.

I think that the photo idea was so that I didn't have to be so brave. Much less stress than getting all dressed up for potential dissapointment. I'm just a big chicken really,lol.

[Beach Chick]

Hi hi hi hi hi

Hey Mona and Fiona...Mona and Fiona...

Names so nice I said 'em twice!

Could you guys please keep this back-and-forth thing going? 'Cuz you're both SO TOTALLY HOT it makes my 'scroll-play' much, much easier to do.

And could one of you PLEASE say something dirty? Please? 'Course I know you're English or Scottish or Welsch or French or something so if that's too much don't sweat it just make something up like 'Scupper Me baby" or 'Here, take my big haggis, wench' or 'We'll get in my lorrie and then in the lift up to my flat and while you use the loo I'll feed my budgie' or something. Please?


Love

Beach Chick