Passing

[susie bear]

Some of us know that we will never be able to pass and it is a real bummer.
I think I might as far as my looks go but I have a very low and distinictive voice and could never get by if I had to talk. Talk about bad luck.

I wish all of you who can pass the best of luck. Wish I could join you.

susie bear

[Agles]

voice is nothing just learn to sign:thumbsup:
if you really want you can. you just need to keep working at it. and when you think you got it work some more.

i have been thinking of making a post about voice work all day.
ill be nice and make it.

='.'=
Jamie

[Teresa Amina]

Yes, the voice is a huge hurdle. I think my looks are well within fem norms but speaking is worrisome. In August I returned a couple oversize items at Coldwater Creek enfemme and was lucky to get a younger clerk to help me, a very nice experience really. You just have to go and see what happens. Out once more the 28th-29th to push the envelope again (pesky envelopes!):happy:

[Josi]

When I have been out en femme (always with a GG "chaperone") I just realise even with the best makeover and classiest clothes .. I am still just a "geezer in a dress" if anyone takes a second look (sometimes evene a first look lol).
I dont "disguise" my voice. Though I do speak quieter (unless I laugh .. I made the mistake of seeing a comedy at the theatre en femme and snorted (no not cocaine .. just a big laugh!) in a most unfeminine way.

I guess, what I am trying to say is - althogh I dress to blend in, I dont "try to pass".
I am just me.
I have received 99% respect when out, from shop assistants, waiters/waitresses, cinema ushers, passeres-by.
and if some of them notice or say to a friend "thats a man in a dress" .. well .. they are right!!
;)

[vickie_tv1556]

I think passing has a lot to do with being mentaly prepaired. You have to prepair yourself mentaly that you can pass and you are being yourself.
Think Positive,
Vickie

[MJ]

dear Susie
hi the voice is the hardest thing to change but it can be done. there are voice training tapes compact disk video etc and they work it depends on you if you want it bad enough you will find a way. i still have problems with mine but i have a voice coach i see every week and that helps. but it just takes time. and as far passing well i have good days and bad but in two years living full time i can say i have had nothing but respect from people i have met. and i can't say anything bad has happened.i get read and the looks but just give them a smile. i think deep stealth has voice and makeup so look around i hope you find what you are looking for...

hugs Marissa

[Kate Simmons]

I always speak in my own voice. When I'm Ericka, however, my voice automatically softens and I'm not loud or outlandish when I speak. It must make a difference because I read body language and men's defenses are not up with Ericka as they are with guys. They seem to be very open with me. The women as well. Women talk about everything and anything and I can hold my own in that respect. It's not your tone so much as what you talk about and your rapport and empathy. One of the by-products of getting in touch with my femme side. The "down" side is sometimes I have a hard time shutting up.:happy: Ericka

[Nigella]

When I have been out en femme (always with a GG "chaperone") I just realise even with the best makeover and classiest clothes .. I am still just a "geezer in a dress" if anyone takes a second look (sometimes evene a first look lol).
I dont "disguise" my voice. Though I do speak quieter (unless I laugh .. I made the mistake of seeing a comedy at the theatre en femme and snorted (no not cocaine .. just a big laugh!) in a most unfeminine way.

I guess, what I am trying to say is - althogh I dress to blend in, I dont "try to pass".
I am just me.
I have received 99% respect when out, from shop assistants, waiters/waitresses, cinema ushers, passeres-by.
and if some of them notice or say to a friend "thats a man in a dress" .. well .. they are right!!;)

:iagree:

I believe that too much emphasis is put on trying to pass. TBH the only TGs that need to pass are those who wish to live the life of a female, to totally blend in with the crowd.

If, like me, you are 24/7 but think of yourself as a man in a dress then Josi's comments are spot on, if on the other hand you are in the closet, and unlikely to ever come out, then why bother trying to pass, no-one will notice

[Billie Jean]

Pass or not I would just like to be able to go out in public dressed as I feel. Billie Jean

[Snookums]

Pass or not I would just like to be able to go out in public dressed as I feel. Billie Jean

yeah me too,just once I would like to wear my short denim skirt,and stilettos to the VA hospital doc appointment,but utah is dangerous,the state refused to pass a hate crime bill,wich means if the stupid mormons attack you because you are different you have no recourse.

[Lisa Golightly]

As long as I pass as human then it's a good day :thumbsup:

[Karren H]

Well my voice sucks, fem speaking.... And its apperantly distinctive.. I ran into an old friend and I haven't seeh her for 10 years. I said Hi Lenny! She turned around and said hi Warren....I don't recoginize you anymore but I knew your voice... Darn. Lol

Passing isn't everything and its shades of passing.... Abe Lincoln must have crossdressed....you can foor some of the prople all the time and all of the people some of the time but you can't find a nice dress for a 7 foot tall chick!! Hehehe

Love Karren

[susie bear]

Thanks to all who replied. It's great to know there is someone else to talk to that understands.

One day I might say tuff and go out dressed. Take it or leave it. Just leave me alone.

xoxoxo

susie bear

[EricaCD]

You don't need to say "tough" - this is not a confrontation! :) Present yourself in as feminine a manner as you can. If one aspect - such as your voice - does not match, you will probably be understood to be a genetic male who wishes to be treated as female. The vast majority of people will honor your wish. And you will be doing yourself and the CD community a service to show the world that a crossdresser is nothing to fear or be threatened by.

Have a wonderful time!

Erica

[Tina Dixon]

Well I posted a video here and there on this site and if you heard its not a feminine voice, oh well maybe in the next life:D

[Byllie]

Passing? Passing? What does it mean to "look" feminine, to appear totally female?

In my line of work (college prof) I see lots of GGs and they're all different. Many, if not most of them would *never* pass for female if they were CD, visually. Why? Well, they come in all shapes and sizes and that's just the way it should be.

And that's the way we are as well. We're all of diferent types, physically and emotionally, and that too is as it should be. If we feel secure in how we look, how we act, how we present ourselves as feminine, then that's all that matters.

My first time out wearing a bra (under male clothes) I was fearful but ... no one noticed. No one gave me a second look, including a colleague I ran into at a restaurant. The message? As long as wearing the bra made me feel feminine, I had succeeded.

My 0.02

[loki_uk]

Don't worry I see people where I have to do a double take before I really know

I don't pass, but have got to the stage where people don't recognise who I am

My arms and legs aren't shave, and I get 11'O clock shadow and I still go out, its all about confidence and not what you look like

Sure a lot of twue trannies won't talk to me in RL, but thats there loss I've got plenty of GG's for company when I go out

Its some sort of stigma, that you can't almost see them glaring at you thinking you shouldn't be here you don't pass but tough I'm a bloke in a dress get over it...

Grrr sometimes it's annoying, but don't let anything stop you from getting out there and enjoying it

[trannie T]

At 6'3" and 350# and with a deep voice there's no way I'll ever pass as a woman. I still enjoy going out, I still have a good time. Passing would be nice but it is very overrated.

[Joni Beauman]

Passing is a form of acceptance, and that is always nice. I was thinking this summer, when I get to go out en femme a lot while on the road, that the fact that passing was important to me said something about "Why?" To be taken for a woman, my preferred gender, is a pleasure. I don't always pass, but I do try. Joni

[Billijo49504]

Passing is something that some people don't understand. If you are satisfied looking like some of the ladies in the grocery store, instead of Karren.:tongueout I mean a raving beauty. Life will be easier. Some of us pass better than we think we do. If you are willing to look normal, instead of something that attracts attention. If everyone is wearing jeans or slacks, don't wear a mini unless you want to be the center of attention...BJ

[Kate Simmons]

True enough BJ. Some WANT to be the center of attention the way they dress but don't realize it. Say I'm going to get groceries with my mini skirt , 4" heels and maybe looking a little "****ty". I personally wouldn't do it but realize if I did, my purpose would be to get attention. If I was in guy mode, I'd certainly look at someone like that. I'd make damn sure I was 100% passable (as they say), so there would be no doubt in anyone's mind I was a "woman". If you want the attention, you'd better "dress" the part, and be totally "flawless", no?:happy: Ericka/Rich

[MsJanessa]

Well sometimes I "pass" and sometimes I don't-----like I've said in other posts passing as a GG is over rated----after all there are lots of GGs out there who are less than attractive(but not the ones who post on this forum--lol) and I would rather be an attractive TG then an ugly GG---as far as your voice goes, concentrate on talking softly and in a higher register and ending sentances, even declarative ones with a questioning tone---If you notice that is the way most GGs talk---My voice is fine as long as I remember to do the above---the problem occurs when I get excited about something and forget---oh well---also another clue on passing----dress in a manner that would not draw attention to yourself---in other words avoid short/tight skirts high heeled boots or shoes(particularly if you are over 5'7"), shiny fabrics like satin or leather and anything fancy---wear a wig that is styled conservativly, preferably short, and go light on the eyemake up and wear a muted lipstick--follow these rules and, unless you are very tall and/or heavy you will probably be able to walk down a local street or into a mall and not draw or attract attention i.e. "pass" but then who wants to "pass" as a plain jane when you can be a stunning TG, dressed to the nines in big hair, leather and satin, skyscraper stilletoes and heavy dramatic makeup---I would rather the latter but only to bars and night clubs---save the former for shopping at the local mall.

[Jenna1561]

I agree with Janessa on most of her post. I do agree that a diminutive person passes better. But, I believe that in today's America, particularly in the area of the country in which I live (small town Oklahoma), passing as a big woman is not too difficult, if I'm dressed as most other woman.

Now, if you're a 260 pound muscled lineman then maybe not, but if you're like me, 260 pounds of a not so muscled, ok FAT, person, and are dressed nicely and neatly, then we don't get very many secnd looks.

Dressed sloppily or overdressed draws attention and a bit closer examination. I usually have no problems with casual passing - Close Encounters of the CD Kind - now that's another story. I wonder if we could get Richard Dreyfess for the starring role in that version? Perhaps a younger actor, maybe Matthew Perry.


Jenna

[MsJanessa]

Actually what I meant was really tall---6'5" or more and heavy---one of the most passable TGs I know weighs around 250 but is not very tall---maybe 5'8 or 9---but always mangages to pass in a crowd

[Kelsy]

I was hoping to upload some picks and attach one to my name but haven't succeeded in doing so! any suggestions as to how? I would love to have some opinions on how I look too!

Jennifer

[Tracy_Victoria]

I agree with Janessa on most of her post. I do agree that a diminutive person passes better. But, I believe that in today's America, particularly in the area of the country in which I live (small town Oklahoma), passing as a big woman is not too difficult, if I'm dressed as most other woman.

Now, if you're a 260 pound muscled lineman then maybe not, but if you're like me, 260 pounds of a not so muscled, ok FAT, person, and are dressed nicely and neatly, then we don't get very many secnd looks.

Dressed sloppily or overdressed draws attention and a bit closer examination. I usually have no problems with casual passing - Close Encounters of the CD Kind - now that's another story. I wonder if we could get Richard Dreyfess for the starring role in that version? Perhaps a younger actor, maybe Matthew Perry.


Jenna

I can only second all of Jenna's comments. I'm sure being of a cuddly build makes it easier to pass, as I'm certainly more rounded, and I don't have a heavy 5 o clock shadow (as seems to be the case) therefore I don't need heavy makeovers or to add false padding (sadly it's already there :heehee: :heehee: ) to be able to pass. Ie just adding a wig and clothes almost completes the illusion, certainly in my case.

Also I'm sure passing, sorry for the pun, is about having the B@LLS to do it. yep wearing the right clothes and having a suitable wig, and accessories helps, but even with all of that, it that first step that is the hardest, were your world turns to the female one as soon as you walk out the door, and it being able to work the illusion in to making people believe your really a female. ie you have the right to be there and act as if that is so. wearing a ball gown to shop in tesco's/walmart just isn't going to work, nor is tottering through the ,parade/mall on six in heels. ie the right clothes for the setting are a must, as is the right actions, and confidence. Sulking from corner to corner, or dark patch to dark patch is only going to draw attention to yourself, so the whole illusion only works if you remember your on a 360 degree stage, and perform for all.

As Karren says you can fool some of the people all of the time, the trick is getting the ratio that do read your not a real girl, down to smallest figures you can, and you do that only with practice, effort, and perfecting your dressing skills.

Passing is not about looking beautiful, it much like being a spy and blending in, not standing out, or it's not about looking like the chief, but blending in and mixing with the other indians.

[Billijo49504]

Well Jennifer, I asked the wife, about your picture, he, she or unsure. She said unsure, but concidering the site you are on, I'd guess he. Is that good enough....BJ

[Kelsy]

Hi Billijo,

I will take an unsure from your wife (gg) as a compliment!!!

Jennifer

[julie w]

passing is getting in the right mind set .I go through
good and bad days . I have meet hundreds of cd s and tg s and I can only
think of a couple that would fool 100% of real women all the time . so for
the rest of us we will be read . If you are ok with that then you pass
From my experiance if you dress as all the other women do ( I always wear
a skirt ) most people will not notice or just give you a glance , the worst
that has happened to me is a giggle or a look of unapproval .
Remember also that people will check others out for many reasons to
a very tall women , a handycap etc , etc
The last thing to remember when you first go out check were you will be going
first drab , dont go out late at night around dark streets or go where young
people hang out ,

[Sam-antha]

Folks all and you for the original question...
Just go out, the voice matters not and is hardly ever used. Think about it, how often do you use it outside ?.
When you are out (not at work, just normally out in drab) how often do you say anything ?
Allright you say, "I need petrol". But you do not need to speak those thoughts, do you ?
First off, you should have thought of that before you dressed and went out.
But it does not matter if you did not think of it.
You need petrol, then you truly need petrol, go get it. Simple ? The person, who gives it to you does not need to hear you say anything, does he/she ?
What does he care if you have a deep voice ? What do you care whether he cares or not if you have a deep sexy or not-sexy voice ?
He hears so many every day of so many varieties. All he/she wants to know is something that you do not need to tell him . In the petrol station he has a machine, that speaks for you, in a shop she/he has a price tag and you have a piece of plastic, both speak for you.
Either speak to him or not, your choice.
Surely that is simple ?
Come on out Susie Bear and enjoy, it is marvellous, it is liberating, it is living..
@~Samm

[Jasmine Ellis]

it would be nice to walk out side without thinking about someone you know which don't know your a CDer looking all around making sure no one knows you

[Kelsy]

Being a cd ,for me, has always had the excitement of the possibility of being caught. passing as a female just extends the excitement I've always felt.
I'm beginning to feel like who cares?!!! I'm happy!!!

Jennifer

[ShannonDragon]

I think that a lot of people who "think" they pass, really don't. But they have enough self confidence and have dressed correctly for the occasion, that others either don't pay attention or don't care.

:tongueout

[ankletauntie]

Have to agree with Nigella. Its about how you feel not how others see you. Read Lacy Leigh.
Lauren.xxx

[Jenna1561]

I think that a lot of people who "think" they pass, really don't. But they have enough self confidence and have dressed correctly for the occasion, that others either don't pay attention or don't care.

:tongueout

I agree with Shannon on this thought. I say that I think I pass in casual encounters, but that's exactly what she is pointing out - I have confidence and others are either not paying attention to me or they don't care, which is fine with me. I enjoy myself when out enfemme and if others read me, as long as they treat me with respect or at the very least indifference, then I'm a happy girl.


Jenna

[Joni Beauman]

Jennifer,
How did you get your picture to appear under your name? I failed to figure it out. You look great, by the way. Joni

[Khriss]

.. Walk through WallMart on any given day ..and most of "us" would appear far more femminine,dressed, than many GG's -"out and about " eh ?