For those, like me, who have never come out

[heathr1]

to your mother, or sister etc. What do you think their reaction would be had you, when younger asked to wear, for example their lipstick or nail polish?

I think my mother would have let me, but reluctantly.

[sweetnsultry77]

Knowing my mother she would have gotten a good laugh out of it!

[Katelyn]

I think my mom would have also let me as a kid, but I think I would've been made fun of by my whole family.

[serinalynn]

to your mother, or sister etc. What do you think their reaction would be had you, when younger asked to wear, for example their lipstick or nail polish?

I think my mother would have let me, but reluctantly.

I think if I had asked young enough my mother ( I don't have sisters) would have done it say at age 4-5 yes I think so. I actualy started wearing her clothes when I was 11 and by that time it would have been to late. I was playing little league sports and hanging with guys my age and even then I had to be very discrete not to be seen in my mothers cloths in a small midwestern community(Population 1700), would not be good for your reputation. Had I lived in a large Metro area with many more people around I might have been easier to accompolish.

[JamieK]

I have never come out and will not to my Mother (Father is deceased) for one good reason:
During WW II, my Mother was a Navy Nurse, and my Father A US Marine.
To this day, Mom thinks..."Boys WILL be boys". Get the idea???
Love,
JamieK

[Kristen Kelly]

I havent come out to my family but have one foot pointed that way.

[SBryder]

Well, when I was pretty young, my mom found my stash of clothes. Or rather, stash of her clothes. She confronted me on the issue and... it wasn't pleasant. The issue of sending me to therapy was raised. Luckily my younger sister claimed the stash as hers and got me out. If it weren't for her growing out of those baby-memories, she'd know about my dressing, but not anymore.

So yeah... the whole experience kinda traumatized me since I was quite young at the time (perhaps 6ish?). I could never come out to my mom. Not only on account of that, but since I started coming into politics, discussing issues with my mom revealed she isn't fond of... I guess gender-defying tendencies is the word. She's fine with homosexuality, oddly enough, but is very against things like gay marriage and crossdressing. Only in jest (i.e. kids in the hall) will she except such things.

As open minded she is for almost all other things, I'm quite disappointed (and find it a bit unfair) that she picks these as her only "pet peeves".

Luckily not only does my g/f accept my crossdressing, but encourages it XD. And really, that's all the acceptance I need.

[Roberta Lynn]

When I was a kid, back in the 50s, They would have sent me to therapy to be cured of my illness.

[KarenSusan]

When I was a kid, my mother would kind of kiddingly say on some occasions, "Would you like to be a girl?" I am sure it was always expected that I would vehemently deny in the strongest possible terms that I wanted to be a girl. And I always obliged. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I said, "Yes mom, I would love to be a girl".

[erica12b]

my mom and dad are not tolerant /that is just not somthing you do


my mom still cant get that i am divorced /almost 2 years

she is still my mom " Got a love her"

[Beth-GDB]

When I was in very early highschool (early junior high for US people), my mother found some femme clothes I had acquired (and I thought they were well hidden) and tried to speak to me about them. She even offered to get me some more clothes if I really wanted but living in a very male home (three brothers, no sisters). I freaked out at the time, gave some very feeble excuses and neither of us ever spoke about it again. I have no idea if she would have allowed me to have any makup as well.

I do suspect that if I'd said yes she would have insisted that I dress femme openly in front of the rest of the family, which would have been more embarressment that I could have dealt with at the time.

My mother died a little over a year ago and I'm now regretting never talking to her about it again after I'd matured and come to better terms with my CD-ing.

[Teresa Amina]

Gawd No! :eek: Home was constant mockery and derision anyway, that would have been the end of me! Mom is gone now and my sisters will be the last to know (if ever)

[MarinaTwelve200]

IF I would have asked her, She would happily oblige--and even do the honors of applying the Lipstick or nailpolish-- ONCE. I am sure of that, as she always used to tease me---"You want me to put some Lipsticjk on you too?" if I was present or near by when SHE was applying the same to herself.

I would always look disgusted and say NOOOO. and slink away. She would get a big KICK out of that. Looking back, I am quite shure she would have done it to ME if I, for once, said YES.

Of course, if I had said yes BEYOND that ONE time---She WOULD have been very concerned about me, and likely packed me off to the psycho doctor.

I never DID ask her, BTW, although at age 8, SHe DID have my father hold me down, one time, got her lipstick out and PRETEND to begin to lipstick me, but she held off at the last second----She just wanted to see my reaction, and get a big laugh. Dad asked her why didnt she actually DO it---"I dont know, it might give him a complex" was her reply.

A close call, to be sure, and had me scared of being lipsticked for years---Ironically, that fear drove me to lipstick MYSELF at age 12, when alone at home---just to face that fear.----And THAT started my CDing--as I began to add more and more things--fully dressing at age 13 or so.

Of course, I am STILL in the closet and never once was caught.

[lisa68]

Good question, but not sure what she would of said since she always never seem to be around much at the house.

[Snookums]

my step mom would have had my dad tune me up with a beating,they are so called liberals,but are anything but liberal,and tolerance is not in their vocabulary.

[Eugenie]

Most parents tend to be very indulgent with very small children. I remember walking in my mom's high heels shoes, only starting a round of laughings from my parents when I was very very young.

Actually, I don't think there was anything like CDing in this behaviour it was just pretend play. That's also probably why my parents were not reacting. But as a child gets older, around seven or shortly before; then most parents will change their attitude...

When I was about 14, my mom discovered under the mattress of my bed a girdle I had stolen from her. She reacted pretty cool "What is this doing here?" and since I couldn't say a thing, she just took it away and said nothing, ignoring my behaviour (one good strategy in general to extinguish undesired behaviours...). I'll never know if she guessed anything. She might have noticed that someone was looking into her wardrobe, but she never said a thing to me.
:hugs:
Eugenie

[StephanieCD]

When I was in high school I asked my mom if I could borrow a skirt or two to wear to school. She asked why and I told her it was a statement. She washed it and everything. About a year ago, when we were talking about how she could deal with anything after putting up with our family (we're nuts) she said "hey, I sent my son to school in a skirt, I think I can handle anything."

It was then that I decided I'd take it easy on her and not tell her about my dressing. She could probably handle it though.

[Stephenie S]

to your mother, or sister etc. What do you think their reaction would be had you, when younger asked to wear, for example their lipstick or nail polish?

I think my mother would have let me, but reluctantly.

Well, of course, reluctantly. Lipstick and nail polish is personal. You don't share them.

Steph

[ebony_tgirl]

Well ... as as little kid, around the age of two or thre my mom just interpreted my foray into her make-up, and wearing her heels part of a child's sense of discovery (and for the most part I agree, you have no concious awareness of what your doing at that stage, contrary to some belief ...but i digress). At a later stage however, especially in my culture the notion of cross dressing is considered proposterous and even talking about a topic like that is grounds for persecution from your family (I remeber the heat i received when my father found out i decided to do my grade 12 ISU on trans-people) I don't think I would come out ... disownment would be the least of my worries

[DeAnna Elaine]

The only accepting people I have ever communicated with are members of this forum.

[Helen MC]

I have often pondered this question over the last 30 or so years.

Back when I first started to CD at the age of 12 in 1965, NOT being discovered in any way was the main concern. Bear in mind that in those days it was only a couple of years or so previously that Lady Chaterley's Lover had been permitted to be freely sold after a Court Case. Homosexuality was still a Criminal Offence attracting a prison sentence. We had not long abolished National (Military) Service, 2 years of sheer sadistic misery for many young men.

Against this background coming out as a Transvestite as was the terminology, would have been utterly stupid. Add to this the fact that I belonged to a quite traditional family , a father who had been in the Forces during WW2 and had the stereotypical attitudes of that era. To him anyone who was not a typical butch, macho, sports loving male was a "f***ing poof!" I was already a failure to him as I hated competitive sports and games of any type and wasn't at all interested in Football (Soccer) , Cricket or Rugby. To have come out and have informed my mother, who was actually quite reasonable but like many wives in those days was in the shadow of her husband, the Head of the Family as they then were considered, would have resulted in him being told I would propably have got a thrashing with his belt and then as some others have alluded have been sent to a psychiatrist to be "Cured of my sickness" as he would have considered it.

No, I took great pains indeed to avoid discovery and I am glad to say I was never found out by my family. My mother is now gone and my father is old and senile. I often wonder if my sister Anne, now a grandmother of 55 years of age, knew she was sharing her knickers with me (and other clothing when I was alone in the house)? She is very liberal in her outlook and may well have guessed what was happening but kept quiet about. Maybe one day I will tell her, but am convinced that in my personal circumstances and in those times of 40 years ago I was very wise as a teenaged TV, NOT to come out to my family.

[pantyhose lover]

Way back when I was in high school or so, I was just getting into pantyhose again. For some reason, I just had to get it out. So one night I told her that I liked to wear pantyhose. I was really embarrassed, but my mom took it well. Well, at first she did. She even bought me some pantyhose. It was great at first. Soon after I told her I like to wear panties also, but my mom would have none of this. She said she had gone far enough with the pantyhose. So after that, I never mentioned it to her again...until about 4 years later when I was in college. I Was home for break and I flat out told my mom I liked to crossdress. Yeeeaaah...it was like before. At first she was...okay about, and definitely not supportive. A little while later she told me not to crossdress, that it wasn't good for me. She had later found my stash of skirts and shoes I had bought, and she was not pleased at all. Didn't yell at me, but definitely disappointed. Now, I just try to avoid that matter all together.

[Angela Burke]

She didn't bother at all.
Neither did my sisters.
Apart from a bit of teasing,
but I didn't mind that at all.

[Jasmine Ellis]

my wife is the only one who knows about my CDing, could never tell my mum, brother, or sister wouldn't no which way they would take it and really I think I don't what too

[kerrianna]

When I was about 4 or 5 I insisted that the only toy I wanted for Xmas was a doll. My parents tried to talk me out of it for weeks, but I was a stubborn little girl :).
I did get the doll for Xmas, which was an acceptance of sorts.
When I was about 7 I played dress-up with a neighbour and we paraded down the street in her clothes (it's the only time I've been 'out' as a girl). My dad found out and forbid me from playing with girls ever again (and they were my only friends). I was traumatized by that, but I found a way to keep playing with girls.
I never knew if it was my mom or father who gave in with the doll. I suspect it was my mom cuz I think she wanted me to be a girl (after 2 boys), but my dad was full of surprises (sometimes even good ones...)

[Sweet Jane]

..funnily enough looking back, I don't think Mum would have minded at all. She did put me in panties once, and I do have a photo of when I was about 10 or 11, where she dressed me up complete with make up. It's strange, but I can only just recall that day, but I remember that there were no panties or bra!!!! Just a dress, heels and make up. I've been wondering lately if maybe Mum was into that sort of thing, or if she was just "young", after all she was only 19 when she had me.
Dad I feel would have been a different story, even though I am sure my Mum would have told him about the time she caught me in panties, bra and slip. I was petrified for days waiting for Dad to "explode"!! All I know is after I got caught, the large bag of lingerie that was stored in the cupboard, disappeared. I'm sure that Mum still suspects I crossdress, but since "our talk" about 35 years ago the subect has never been discussed.

[immike]

to your mother, or sister etc. What do you think their reaction would be had you, when younger asked to wear, for example their lipstick or nail polish?

I think my mother would have let me, but reluctantly.

I have secretly worn my mothers clothes,without her knowledge,for years
A TG Guy

[DressRehersal]

I can't put my finger on why, but I don't think my mom would have cared.

What blows my mind, though, is that I think my brother is also interested in at least crossdressing. I haven't worked up the nerve to talk to him about it yet, though, because we're the kind of brothers where he'd hold that over me as something he could blackmail me with. =)

[Debb]

I have not come out to my parents but plan to do so in the next few weeks.

I have known for some time that I was actually born intersexed (XXY chromosomes, I forget the name for it). There is strong evidence that some sort of surgery was performed, and I have always wanted to ask my parents about it, but have avoided doing so.

My parents were quite unforgiving while I grew up; I was the firstborn, and much was expected of me. They are sternly religious, and I feel that they will have a very hard time getting "over" this when I tell them, but really ... telling is for me, not for them. I need to tell them, I guess in some way I need to find out whether they will reject me or not. Very child-like isn't it?

I still receive email about how terrible the "gay problem" is, and I know that in their minds they relate crossdressing to gay .. and I am reluctant to induce a heart attack .. but I will find a way to get this out in the open.

Then they won't need to ask why I got my ears pierced, or why I am wearing oh-so-subtle nail polish.