Where Do I Fit In???

[Gary]

:2c:

Hi all,

I have read all i could find on crossdressing, fetishism and the like. Maybe im in denial or just havent met enough people but I dont seem to belong largely to any of these classes. My obsession, fetish, whatever, with womens clothes started a little less than a year ago. My wife and I were in a local dept store, womens dept, and i saw a large rack of womens panties...thought, "hey, id like to wear those," told my wife of this thought while standing there, and while im sure ill never know how shocked she was i went home that day with my first few pair. Since then my wife has been up and down about the whole thing, buying me items one week and the next having some issue with it. Im almost certain this is related to insecurity feelings she has so i try and positively reinforce the opposite in her when i can. Back to the point. These urges were never present in me prior to a year ago, ive never hidden them and while confused as to why exactly they appeared, have never been ashamed of them or how ive dealt with them.

My collection consists of way too many pairs of panties, all those styles and fabrics, well how else do you know if they fit well unless you buy them? Ive thrown some out and need to lessen this collection again as i still have some that just dont work...can you say boy shorts? hehe... Anyway, I have a few short skirts, shorter the better, I do get sexually aroused from wearing these items at times, that and some role reversal bedroom play have made life much more enjoyable and interesting. I have no desire to wear anything conservative, yes im a tad on the ****ty side...I do not want to wear heels, makeup, wigs or ever subject anyone to what an early 40's 230 lb 6' + man looks like as a women. I do wear panties most days, and not always is this sexually stimulating...mentally yes, not always sexually tho. I have no desire to exit my house dressed as anything other than me. I have taken a few pics of myself in panties and such...ok more than a few.

I am very comfortable with who i am and see no reason to hide this from my wife, others...well my personal life is my business and im the only one that i must be comfortable with...basically none of their business i suppose...and honestly, does anyone really want to know this about me...i dont see myself as that important.

So where do i belong? Am I indeed a crossdresser, is this a transvestic fetish, or...? Im just curious as i dont understand the whys i guess...any classification or label is just that..another label and ive got many of those...will not change my life i suppose...but if anyone has any insight or thoughts i would love to hear them...thnks for being here...take care all...lp

[Karren H]

Well by the strict definition of the word....you are crossdressing. So by default you are a crossdresser... And we all have different and varied reasons for crossdressing.. But what it comes down to is if your happy with wht your doing then who cares what they'll it!!! That's my opinion, I'm not big on labels...

So welcome, but don't expect me to share in your love of fem pants!!! You don't have any jeans do you?? I hate fem jeans!! Lol

Love Karren

[Angie G]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouthdress the way you like and be happy you can just enjoy what life has to offer it to short to wast time on B.S. :hugs:
Angie

[Vivian Best]

Hi Love, Don't waste your time trying to find a label that fits you! You are what you are! All of us have little differences in what and how we do what we do. Even if you find a label that you think fits you someone will disagree and say your are something else.

I do agree with one of the posts that in the strictist definition when you wear any clothing of the opposite sex, be it male or female it is crossdressing.

[Paula Thomas]

Regarding your question "Where do I fit in??", you "fit in" with this group.

Some of us wear more women's clothing than others, more often than others, for other reasons than others, etc.

But taken as a whole, you "fit in" well.

[Siobhan Marie]

I agree with Paula and Vivian, you are one of us and you what are you are and who you are and you definately belong here with your sisters.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[Stephenie S]

You go, girl. (or guy)

Don't worry about why or where. Just enjoy it. Life's too short to worry.

Lovies,
Steph

[noname]

I'd like to say relax. I believe a good majority of us wouldn't be here if men had the same clothing choices. As for the undies, it's the same thing. They just don't make mens underwear in bright colors with piping and a the same variety of style cuts. Just doesn't happen.

[Melinda Lou]

I'm an "underdresser" just like you, and I think you fit in fine. Passing is not a big interest of mine, although I support those who do. For me, wearing panties is my own private pleasure, and no one needs to know I'm wearing polka dot briefs or pink hi-cuts. I think I'm just as "authentic" as anyone else; after all, millions of women walk around all day without anyone knowing what they have on underneath, either. :D

[axdressa]

My other haf wears my boxers so why cant i wear hers ..... oh what the hell i wear all her clothes .... lol .... but i have more fem clothes than she does ...oh well not to worry .... back to the question ... Yes you fit it right here as a lot of girls ahve said already ... sorry had to put my two penath worth in

hugz Mallisa

[wabnaok]

I wear a bra almost daily and regularly wear hose during the winter. I am sitting in my office wearing hose right now! So I say you are one of us!

[SexySteph]

Predominately a panty wearer just can't get enough lingerie so it's nice to see that I fit in here as well.

[zoe jordon]

Hi im zoe
l asked the girls the same question last week!!!! And you are who you are!!!!!
If you wont to know what my label is im a a sexual cd!!!!! no one here cares they love for who you are!!!!

dont worry about a label!!! worry about what to wear!!!


big kisses Zoe

[Sam44]

As I was getting to know my current wife I felt such acceptance that I mentioned that sometimes I like to wear women's underwear and in return she told me that she was a 47 year old virgin. Tho I only wore women's underwear now and then then, now a few years later I wear bras and panties essentially 24/7. When we shop we often find ourselves getting me more panties (and sometimes bras) even tho I've got more than I could wear in years.

[Karen Johnson]

One thing for certain, you found the right place to ask your questions. I started much earlier than you (when I was 5 or 6). Like yourself, my wife knows and one minute she's buying me things and giving me tips on how to dress and act, then the next minute she seems uncomfortable.

I did a lot of research on this subject to try to find out what was "wrong" with me, to find out why women's clothing had this effect on me. Bottom line, I'm a man who likes to where women's clothes and who occasionally likes to indulge his feminine side. My wife is okay with it and so am I and I personally don't see where it's anyone else's business.

And, for what it's worth, when I first started to indulge this fetish I only wanted to where certain articles of clothing. I didn't want to wear a wig, shoes, etc.

Now, I can't get enough. For me it's progressive and I have no idea of where it will end.

[EricaCD]

Where do you fit in?

Sounds like you'd fit nicely into a Lise Charmel bikini. I have my eye on a beautiful one in blush pink...

Don't fret about your label (fret about the label on your undies!). Maybe you're a fetishistic TV. Maybe a crossdresser. Maybe just a fancier of panties. The label doesn't make you, and unless you are under psychiatric care or need to participate in a crossdresser survey, does not matter.

What does matter is that there are plenty of people here with very similar experiences, passions, worries, frustrations and hopes. I suspect you will benefit from being a member of this forum.

Welcome!
Erica

[Byllie]

Person A: What's the definition of being human?

Person B: That's easy. Everyone you meet.

Person A: But they're all so different.

Person B: Exactly!

Person A: But I wanted a definition, not a generalization.

Person B: Oh, is that all. A human is a member of the human race. Will that suffice?

(nuff said!)

[trannie T]

You are an individual who enjoys short skirts and panties. How somebody else defines that is their concern.
You state that you have too many panties, wow, I only have about a thousand pair and that still isn't enough.
Don't worry about somebody else's defination, enjoy doing what you're doing.

[Gary]

Wow, so many responses and pretty much all with the same message. I really do not care about labels either, I have enuff already...hehe...but as i am big on research and having to understand I became perplexed at my inability to find an answer...as usual the answer was to be found within...And I agree...matters not, if you feel you belong then you belong...and being comfortable with oneself is a major goal...that and being honest, with yourself and others...my memory is seriously so lousy i cant lie as remembering the true facts is impossible at times so keeping up with fabrications would just prove futile...

I have wondered if i am only in the beginning stages, if i will progress to more and more...as of now, im happy being a guy, role reversal in certain rooms is fun, but I am fine with my gender as it is...and as with so many other things, if this does indeed progress, i will work to help my wife cope/accept and just go with the flow....and no, i do not own any blue jeans...i own a buttload of khaki cargo shorts, the long ones...recently moved from the beach after 13yrs...I also own a couple of pair of long pants, khakis of course, very lightweight material....jeans are just too heavy and i hate being hot...comes with old age i think...

Anyway thank you all again for replying and making me feel welcome and in the right place...I am grateful you are all here. Take care all. LP :happy:

[Casey Morgan]

Hi LP. I can understand your desire to have a word for what you are. Labels may not matter but i sure is nice to be able to fill in the blank of I am a ______.

You seem to have a pretty good idea of who and what you are at this particular moment. The only advice I can give you is to look at the various labels and see which one feels right to you based on what you understand that label to mean. We don't all agree on what exactly makes a person a particular identity (beyond the general sense) so it's really all about what says "you" to you. After all, how many times in a normal day, or even a month, are you going to tell people what your label is?

Where will you be a month or a year or a decade from now? Who knows. If we accept new ideas and challenges that we come across, we are bound to be slightly different people in the future. That's true no matter what part of our lives we're talking about. You may "progress", you may not. It sounds like either way you'll be fine with it. And that's a very good thing.

[sparks]

Yep your alone.....NOT. You are who you are and you enjoy what you enjoy!

[Nikki A.]

I AM WHAT I AM AND THATS ALL THAT I AM. i'M POPEYE THE CROSSDRESSING SAILOR MAN. TOOT TOOT

[CharleneCD]

I understand what you are feeling right now. About two years ago I also got blind sided by the desire to dress. Like you I never saw it coming. Thinking about it now I can see that the tendancies were aways there though. Give yourself time and thought and you might find the same. Then again you might not, but it really doesn't matter as long as you enjoy what is working for you. Same with whether you will progress to more dressing, it will either happen or it will not, just as long as you are happy.

[Sejd]

Sounds like you are a CD to me, but I would do some homework also. You could for example spend a bit of time going back in your history as a kid and see if there are any places where this might have shown up in some form. Photos are a good way to find out.
Another thing my friend, I would be carefull not to be manipulated by your wife into dressing when you don't feel like it. What I am saying is this. You must make it yours if it is going to work for you. Don't fall for the trap of fulfilling your wifes expectations whenever it is conveniant for her. She probably loves you and all, but remember that if this is going to work for you, it has HAS to be YOUR thing, your CD'ing and not conveniant fantacy play. To diferentiate here is a good idea, because you learn to take hold of your own experience and share it with your SO whenever you want.
and don't forget to have fun!
hugs
Sejd

[kerrianna]

Like everything else this is a journey, and sometimes it speeds up, sometimes slows down, and often it's hard to tell where we're going much less where we came from or are now. Just enjoy the journey for what it is.
Having said that, I too was only interested in the underthings (well, a bit of sexy outerwear at times) and had no desire to take it anywhere else. My SO was fine with it. The only days I don't wear panties is if I'm doing hard manual labour or going where I know my underwear will be seen (doctor, massage therapist). It's been that way for 20+ years, but lately I've been drawn to outing myself and find embracing Kerrianna an emotional/spiritual fulfillment. My SO was caught off guard by the acceleration (so was I) but through open communication we're moving forward together and our relationship has never been better. Confusion has been a part of this process, but if you remain open and brave you never know where things take you. Like you say go with the flow.

[kerrianna]

I AM WHAT I AM AND THATS ALL THAT I AM. i'M POPEYE THE CROSSDRESSING SAILOR MAN. TOOT TOOT
LOL.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?!

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!!

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?!
Suspenders...and a bra?!...

Just the Lumberjack:
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear ma'ma

[Snookums]

probably right between the square peg,and the round peg

[Sheila]

Sounds like you are a CD to me, but I would do some homework also. You could for example spend a bit of time going back in your history as a kid and see if there are any places where this might have shown up in some form. Photos are a good way to find out.
Another thing my friend, I would be carefull not to be manipulated by your wife into dressing when you don't feel like it. What I am saying is this. You must make it yours if it is going to work for you. Don't fall for the trap of fulfilling your wifes expectations whenever it is conveniant for her. She probably loves you and all, but remember that if this is going to work for you, it has HAS to be YOUR thing, your CD'ing and not conveniant fantacy play. To diferentiate here is a good idea, because you learn to take hold of your own experience and share it with your SO whenever you want.
and don't forget to have fun!
hugs
Sejd


Great Ideas Sejd just the way to help an SO become part of things

Jess

[Mia001]

Hi,

Sounds like you fit in in pretty much the same way as I do. I crossdress in quite a similar way to you, although I don't wear panties every day and I started a bit earlier than you did.

It''s fun so enjoy yourself. My first thread here had exactly the same title as this and I got a lot os support from the members here so you've come to the right place.

Mark.