Coming Out To Your Wife

[Bernadina]

There have been a number of threads about how to reveal our CDing to our wives and SO's. Most of the discussion has been about how we feel and what we want. There has been only an occasional post about the other person.

My thought on the subject is that the other person is the most important person to be considered. Its their feelings and their expectations and their understanding that is about to be shattered.

I think that before we drop our secret on them, that we need to show them just how much we love them and how much they really mean to us. Actually we should be doing that all the time anyway, just like we did when were dating and just married.

Make them feel adored. Treat them like a Princess. Show them that they have the most wonderful husband a woman could ever want. Do the little things, like tea and cookies in bed for her on a Sunday morning. Flowers for no apparent reason.

This will take a bit of time. Don't rush it and let the romance rebuild slowly.

When you feel the time is right, approach the subject of CDing diplomatically in a way that seems appropriate.

Hopefully the relationship has strengthened to a point that your secret becomes a minor issue.

Now the tough part. You still have to continue to show her how much you adore her.

You have to keep the romance alive. Tea in bed every Sunday from now on. Never put her in a position of competing with you as to who is the more beautiful girl.

And you have to keep treating her like a Princess forever.

My thoughts for the New Year.

http://www.qss.ca/entomology/thm_frbfly020.gif

[Kerri]

A beautiful & loving & warm & elequent message Bernadina. The very actions and relations I always try to emulate with my wife. Thank you very much.

Kerri

[Kaye_martin]

....... I think that before we drop our secret on them, that we need to show them just how much we love them and how much they really mean to us. Actually we should be doing that all the time anyway, just like we did when were dating and just married.

Make them feel adored. Treat them like a Princess. Show them that they have the most wonderful husband a woman could ever want. Do the little things, like tea and cookies in bed for her on a Sunday morning. Flowers for no apparent reason. http://www.qss.ca/entomology/thm_frbfly020.gif

Bernadina: You're right on the mark, we should have been doing this all along, I bet many of us don't do this sort of thing, it's easy to take those we love for granted. Just one thing though, cookies in bed, ahhhhh, I hate food in the bedroom (LOL), flowers for no apparent reason ... a big YES.

Life is a journey but most of the time all we can think about is the destination, we all need to remember it's what happens along the way that's important, so while we're on the journey we need treat our loved ones right and everything else will fall into place. My 02. Sorry for the Hogtown rant (Canadians will understand :) )

kaye_martin

[genevieve_ohara]

Bernadina...

Well said.

I've always been a strong defender of family. As in don't lose 'em....

It's lovely to see you stating so clearly...that we need to think about her needs as well as our own.

Where's that silly reputation button? I'm clicking yours tonight, honey.

Love

G

[girlee]

very well said......the sooner the better is better...even better before you get married!

[Celeste GG]

Awww. Yes the very excitement of dressing turns lots of TG's to blondes, when it comes to thinking of others. sometimes I have to give mine a good spanking and tell them to go and pamper their wives.

A lovely coming out, requires LOVE on both sides. If it's not there in a relationship in the first place, it's not going to magically happen!

thankyou Bernadina

Celeste

[Donna Louise]

I did before and after I came out to my wife.

One of the things I used to do when my wife worked was to show up unexpectedly to have lunch with her.

Often I would bring here some little something, a card, flowers, a nicknack for her desk. I always made sure that the other ladies in her office saw my little gifts.

There were times I would call find out when she would be gone. Swing in her office and leave a little note or gift on her desk for her to find when she returned from lunch.

Bringing flowers or gifts to your loved one at home is one thing but at the office, in front of others is so much better. She saw it as me declaring my love for her for the whole world to see.

I guess that is exactly what I was doing.

She has not had a job for a over a year. It is hard to do little things that measure up to the little things I did when she had a job. Oh she appreaciates it but it is still different.

Just my thoughts
Donna Louise

[Fiona K]

Couldn't agree more 'Dina,
It is so much harder to pick up the pieces afterwards
Fiona

[Vickie-CD]

I'm not being critical of anyone, everyone has there own ways of doing things, I just don't understand why so many wait until after there married to come out, I just believe that should be done during the dating process.
Just Wondering,
Vickie

[Fallen Angel]

vikie im with you I guess so some its a social thing many gays get married for the same reason social aceptance they want a normal life were no one knows different lets face it theres a lot of people that dont understand us they think we have a inbalanance and remenber theres members here that at one time this was very boo-coo but things are out more in the open and a lot of people are more edgeucated than in the past and socail acceptane is more tolerable but getting back to the tread i try to keep my mate involed with almost as much as i can and and im a bad one for spare of the moment things so i try to suprise her with thing as muth as possible