Sexually expanding my mind

[BrookeMckayla]

Hi Girlz,

I hope this is the right place to post this. I feel I need to warn you that it might rather explicit, but I'm starting to go out of my mind. I think I am transexual but I guess I would need to speak to a therapist to be sure. From what I have been reading it seems I am transexual.

Somebody was saying something about not being interested at all in men when they were younger. I could relate. I thought men were gross, even though I wanted to have sex like a girl. All there hair, crudeness, and immature behavior totally turned me off. They just seemed 'gross'. They often still seem that way to me. I wanted a vagina and to have sex that way, but I often found guys gross.

But, I had a dream. In the dream some guy grabbed me from behind by my hips and pulled me closer. It felt good. I was in ecstacy.

This is the most I have ever done. A dream.

Since then, I have been wanting to explore more. I didn't realize how good that might feel, feeling him pressed up against me like that.

But at the same time, I am thinking all that body hair and, for lack of better words, 'manness' still seems kinda gross.

I started wondering how other girls felt before actually exploring sex with men.

[JamieK]

Hi Brooke;
I truly liked you comments on your thread, but I believe you have a wrong view of men.
I once would have agreed with you, men looked and acted lik hairy apes, with the manners of a pig.
BUT, in over 30 years, I have transformed from VERY straight, to Bi, and now lean towards gay. I have found "partners" that are kind, respectful, gentle and a pleasure o be around, not to mention little or no body hair.
Yes, I have felt the closeness of a man's body as you mentioned, and the feeling was wonderul, as has been the sex.
Oh, I have found many women that would (and did) fit the picture of your crude men.
Find the right person, and life can be very beautiful, straight or gay!
Best Wishes Always,
JamieK

[Mistybtm]

I love having sex with men but only when i am dressed up witch is all the time when am home even when I was young i fantasized about it so I have always been bi just never acted on it until after my divorce, Now with great caution (you must be careful) I love to be used by men as there sex toy (safe sex only) and mostly with married men or divorced around my age or older. If you ever decide to this adventure make sure you really want to because once you start you will never want to stop :happy:
Mistybtm.

[BrookeMckayla]

Hi Brooke;
I truly liked you comments on your thread, but I believe you have a wrong view of men.
I once would have agreed with you, men looked and acted lik hairy apes, with the manners of a pig.


Hi Jamie. Thanks for the reply! And I'm glad you replied the way you did, too. I like what you have to say.

This was what I was wondering and you answered it. Do other girls (GG and TS) start out thinking guys are kinda gross? I wonder how many start out this way.

I have not explored so I have only preconceived notions of what guys are like. I am realizing more and more how deeply buried into the closet I was (and am). A lot of this has to do with the research and all the reading I have done online at places such as these forums.

You reminded me that a person can't know something like that without trying it. To use a metaphor, how would I know what eating pizza is really like without actually trying it?

I guess this kind of scares me because I must have a conversation with my SO about what I am discovering about myself. She knows I am CD, but I am quickly finding myself to be TS and bi-curious. I'm not sure what to say.

AND I feel guilty for admitting I'm bi-curious in a public forum before telling my SO. But, I'm starting to get very restless and I guess I need help. I wish therapists were listed in our yellow pages as being TS friendly. lol.

[Sky]

I started wondering how other girls felt before actually exploring sex with men.

Before? Horny.:devil:

After? Relieved.:happy:

You won't know what it's like until you try it, hon.

[JamieK]

Hi Brooke, and thank you so much for your beautiful reply to my comments.
Admitting to yourself about who you are is he first step in this matter, and having sex with whomever is the very last.
I cd for sex; that is, I love to dress for the man iam with, if he likes that, and many do. Iam carful about who Iam wih, and ALWAYS have "safe" sex.
Yes, luv, a human is a human, with feelings and needs. Both men and women can be gross, hairy and a pig.
I have ben ver lucky, and I pray YOU will e lucky also.
Enjoy Life, hon. We are all here to help.

JamieK

[princessmichelle]

Hi Brooke,

I was interested to read your post. Several aspects of it resonated with me:
Like you, I've recently begun thinking that I may be ts rather than just cd+?
And men? Ew! I prefer women so much I wish I was one.
AND :o
About 4 weeks ago I had a dream of having a v_g_na and having a man's _____ inside of it--and in the dream I liked it. When I woke up I was so freaked out by the dream that I actually called in sick to work that day!
Now it's like more evidence that I _might_ be ts rather than cd.

But some of this does sound similar to your experiences.
Anyway, thanks for sharing,

Michelle
(the "Princess" is from a silly shirt that had "princess" on it)

[princessmichelle]

Hi all,

Jenny Boylan's memoir talks about s_x with men in the context of trans women starting on hormones like estrogen. It says something like 1/3 to 1/2 of ts women go from only liking genetic women to having sexual fantasies of men. I think there's a quote from a doctor like "if s_x with men has never crossed your mind before, be prepared for it to cross your mind."

"Princess" Michelle

[CaptLex]

Yes, luv, a human is a human, with feelings and needs. Both men and women can be gross, hairy and a pig.
Thanks, Jamie, I'm glad you said it. I don't understand all the threads claiming that men are disgusting made by those who have never been with a man. How can you know? Just because you're not attracted to them, doesn't make them gross. I'm not attracted to women, but I don't find them gross - just not my type.

And Jamie is right, both men and women can be pigs (and hairy), it has nothing to do with the X or Y chromosomes. In fact, I know several (straight) men who shave their bodies and some women who really should. Also, for the record, I could never be with a man who was a slob or crude, but I've been with plenty of men. So let's put that stereotype to bed. If you don't believe me, let's ask the hetero GGs. I haven't heard any of them complain yet.

[LaurenMar]

Hi,

I used to feel the same way. That is until curiosity got the best of me. It was a bit wierd feeling his stubble rubbing against my chin as we kissed but when he held me tight I just melted and from then on everything felt right.

Lauren

[cindianna_jones]

I was never interested in men. NEVER

I thought that I would just go through life without a partner, or perhaps with another woman.

But after I had my surgery, I started accepting offers for dates with men. I never did get a chance with another woman. Dating turned out to be fun.

I ended up getting Married 15 years ago. And I've been very happy with him.

Cindi

[Robin Leigh]

It was a bit wierd feeling his stubble rubbing against my chin as we kissed
That's why so many gay guys have little beards & moes, to avoid mutual face friction. :)

I haven't been with a guy since the days of my wild, experimental youth. But I had fun with all sorts of guys in my time... :D I like smooth skin myself, but some of the nicest guys you will ever meet are the "bears". Sure, some big hairy gay guys like to act tough, but these guys are mostly just big fuzzy teddy bears who love to cuddle & be affectionate. You soon get used to the hair, and it's kinda nice to be with a gentle giant who could, if required, beat the living cr@p out of anyone who tries to give you a hard time. :)

These days, I sometimes fantasize about being with a guy, but in reality I'd much prefer to be with a feminine person. I've never really been with a TS or another CD, and I must admit the possibilities do intrigue me... :)

Robin

[JamieK]

I've never really been with a TS or another CD, and I must admit the possibilities do intrigue me... :)

Robin

Hi Robin;
I was VERY straight when I first met, dated and fell in love with a beautiful TS. A beautiful memory to this day.
Its like drinking a fine winw...some like just White; some prefer Red; but others find a nice Blush to be just perfect for them.
Drink-up, luv, you only go around once in life.
JamieK

[daizinha]

Hi Brooke.
I read your post and I got very confused... not because of you, but because of me ! I actually had a similar situation.
When I was dressed up, I used to imagine myself as a beautiful lady trying to get a man. However, I could never look to a man and find him attractive. That just didn't feel right.

Then, one day I was home alone, dressed. It was new year's eve, I had to work so I stayed at home. I watched a movie called "Sleeping with the enemy" in which a couple exchange bodies. I got so, so horny that I had to go to a mix bar. I had lingerie under my ordinary clothes, but very discrete.

After a while, they started a dirty dancing season there, and I confess I had hands all over me and I liked, even though I wasn't fully dressed.

I dreamed about that for a whole week, and the dreams were so, so hot and horny that I decided to try my luck. I confess that I liked it, but I understand that I get confused and sort of guilty sometimes. It is good, but it still doesn't seem right to me. I still like girls, but men are now part of my wishlist too. Something changed in my head, I guess I just need time to get used to it.

What I'm trying to say is... follow your heart and you'll find yourself.

[Kaitlyn]

I am in this very situation right now myself. I have been wanting to experiment being with another guy (preferably CD) just to see what happens. IDK, I am very nervous about it all though, worrying about diseases and all. But I know exactly how you feel hun. It can be confusing, but at the same time, very exciting.

[LaFem]

If you really are a woman, you really need a man to make it so. Don't worry about his masculine attributes; those are what a woman needs to be a woman! Melt into his arms and love every female second!

[Calliope]

In my s** fantasies, I've always been a woman so, naturally enough ... In the real world, though, I don't really find guys attractive. Hmmm... I know the gay scene isn't my scene - I tried it once and the guy insisted I remove my 'silly outfit,' that is, fem attire - was he ever turned off by my wanting to be a woman. Ultimately, I discovered sleeping with guys wasn't my bag. I figure that could change in time, though - I mean, GGs choose only a few out of zillions, so there's a 'mister right' aspect to all this. Personality comes first. If it's good communication and respect, I would guess gender will be transcended to some extent.

[leahfieldscd]

i defiantly have a problem with this too. I've only ever been in love with girls. I have also only been sexually active with one, and my longtime current girlfriend. but some alone times as leah, my mind really starts to shift towards sex with guys. I've never found a guy attractive, but the ways to "be the girl" gives me butterflies in my stomach.

I'm a quite and reserved person when it comes to stuff like that. But its getting stronger inside of me. i would experiment, but i'm sooooo scared of disease and such. i've only been with one person, and still am. i can't cheat on her either. i'm not like that. And i still haven't found a guy attractive either, but being a girl in that sense attracts me very much so.

-leah

[Eugenie]

I love having sex with men but only when i am dressed up ...
Mistybtm.

I feel the same, actually I also had fantazies about making love to a man while dressed as a woman. But for me too, they were just that : fantazies...

But recently, I've had an interesting experience with a CD friend. I was dressed with a rather low cut top, revealing my cleavage. My CD friend started to react more like a male than like a woman... Story told elswhere on this forum, so I will make it short. We didn't have full sex, just a little like a former US president and a trainy (not a tranny... I couldn't resist :devil: ). I enjoyed the experience but the mind wasn't there. Actually, after having seen that CD friend in DRAB, I far much prefer "him" than "her" :heehee: So I may ask "him" to take me out to the restaurant next time I get to meet him.

That's all the experience I've had with another man so far. I was surprised it happened very simply and it felt natural as I was completely in a "femme" mood.

However, I think I'm going creasy since a couple of weeks... A CD on the French Forum where I participate also started writting to me privately. Very correct messages, but progressively more and more sensual... I was seduced almost at her first compliments... Like for the first CD, it was my cleavage (on a picute) that turned him on, and like the first one he started to react more like a man than like a lady, which, in turn, incredibly turned me on. I feel again like when I first fell in love, shacky legs, lower tummy in jeopardy, heart beating like creasy every time I receive an e-mail. We haven't yet met. I hope not to be disapointed when facing the real live person...

It is fabulous at 60 to feel again like that. What surprises me is that it should be for a man...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Eugenie]

I was never interested in men. NEVER

I thought that I would just go through life without a partner, or perhaps with another woman.

But after I had my surgery, I started accepting offers for dates with men. I never did get a chance with another woman. Dating turned out to be fun.

I ended up getting Married 15 years ago. And I've been very happy with him.

Cindi

Hi Cindy,

Like you I wasn't interested in men when I was younger. It is only recently that I had a revelation (see my other post here).

I sincerely think that If I had had the information when I was younger I would have gone hrough the surgery also. Unfortunately, I learned too late about the transgender condition being what I think it is now: a feminine mind trapped in a male body. Before I had access to all this information, I just felt terribly odd and also miserable for imposing this to my SO.

It is now too late, I'm 60, and it would do too much damage around me given the rather conservative family environment I live in (Not my wife who is, in the end, so tollerant about my X-dressing even though not happy about it...)

Had I had a SSR operation, I would probably have looked for a partner, and most likely a man. I'm not the kind of person to remain alone.

Life is a package deal, so I live with what I have now... I admit that the bit about having experiences with a man while "en femme" has really changed my life.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[billie17042]

i think you should try it.........

[Nikki T]

I like many other girls that have posted too, have had rather great fantasys about sex with a man, OH it was hot!!!!! But i too have had that weird feeling of NOT sure whether i like a man, hot ,sweaty, maybe hairy etc. But it for some reason just feels good, so I guess we all wont know until we try. I do Soooo love women though and so maybe that makes me Bi .:heehee:

[rye_ginger]

I experimented this summer and went to a gay bar. I wasn't dressed or anything but he hit on me, he bought the drinks, he made the moves. I really felt like a girl even though I didn't look like one that night. I know in my heart that I'll only ever love a woman; but that feeling of being a girl and having a man take you is just phenomenal.

A number of you also posted how you would be with a man if he were a CD and I can understand this too. There's something about looking into a beautiful feminine face but knowing what's waiting under that skirt. I've never tried this, but I know I want to.

[Ellie]

There's something about looking into a beautiful feminine face but knowing what's waiting under that skirt. I've never tried this, but I know I want to.

Oh DITTO! Honey!

I'm still looking for my "guy friend with benefits" my GF is interesting in doing a little directing the fun as well.

:winking: