A different view?

[Scrunchie-Bunchie]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.
I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?

[Shelly Preston]

It's not neccessarily a desire to pass

The main reason is.

This is the gender we present here, so that is the main reason for being called a Girl

Its a text version of the optical illusion

And yes we have some members who do pass on a regular basis but that is not everyones aim

[Dominique Melt]

I know exactly what you mean. I myself have refrained from addressing anyone here as 'sister' or 'lady' because we are, in fact, none of those things, with the possible exception of post-op SRS TGs. I personally have no truck with it if another CDer calls me sister or lady because part of the fantasy is to be lady-like and feminine, if not female. But a bloke is what I be, although i derive immense pleasure from indulging my femme nature. And yes, I have fantasies of waking up one day and finding myself in the bosy of some sort of goddess -- many of here share that. But in the end, unless and until I decide I want to do the SRS thing [and I have contemplated it] I will be a genetic, even then, a genetic male. DNA is DNA.
If there were some event that actually changed my DNA and physical body to that of a female, then I would consider myself a 'sister' or a woman. Until then, I'm just a guy who loves the wway women look, feel aand dress. It goes deeper than that, no doubt, but I am not in the mood to go to profound, right now:meditate:

[Katelyn]

For some of us it is to escape into a world of wonder and Fantasy. I really don't have a reason why other than that. Another thing I like to do is dress nicely by putting on a suit, a tie, and have my girlfriend dress up and go to a fancy restraunt intended for rich people only once a year. I'm not rich, but that one time every year, I get to slip into their world of fine dining and live like they do for an hour. For others, it's because they really want to be a woman. Others like you probably like the clothes either for comfort, style, or because you may be turned on by it. You're right. I'll be a little careful on how hi address someone here though. Not every m to f crossdresser likes that. I'm guessing that is also true for f to m.

[Nigella]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?

If we all used that criteria to check out if we "pass" or not, no-one who is not undergoing all the medical intervention needed to correct your 6 points would pass.

For a lot of CD's this site is where they can express their alter egos. It is their escape from the reality of life, they present as they feel and if calling themselves by the female verbs, she, girl etc then so be it.

[MJ]

hi scrunchie

well for give me for saying but i too was thinking the same thing in regards to the girl names or girl or lady.. how can i put this forgive me if i am wrong . if a " guy " wants to escape the riggers and stress of life and become a girl for an hour or day or weekend or forever , i can't see anything wrong with that . also if the "guys" give them self's female names then i think we must respect that and use the proper pronouns for that gender so if one portrays a feminine identity then great you go girl friend because thats who they are..
now in your post
1 Adam's apple.. can be hid by a turtle neck top
2 face eyebrows can be waxed and makeup can reduce the jawline
3 curve in at the waist can be done with a waist hugger or corset
4 curvaceous backside can be padded
6 male voice is hard but with practice you can get a fem voice

it's all in the appearance if you can try to get an hour glass shape a good wig and makeup one can pass it just takes practice..

i may be wrong here but is CD supposed to be relaxing to a point and the escape from stress and to make one feel better about themselves i know there are other reason but i think thats the general idea...
or i could be dead wrong if so i am sorry...

[KarenSusan]

I don't know. Call me strange but I still get a thrill out of it when someone refers to me as she or her. Also when someone starts a post with "Hi Girls".:happy:

[Kate Simmons]

You are who you are, Hon. If you are comfortable with that, that's what counts. Personally, I consider myself anything but a "lady". I'm more like a M T F T M tomboy if you can classify such a thing. I'm myself in any case and don't try to fit into any kind of "mold" created by others.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[joanna_s]

Well, I´ve never thought about that so seriously. Enjoying female clothing and other girly things is what we all have in common, right? I find that a privilege, not a curse. Crossdressing is a way to express my female side but it´s also a great fun. When I call you ladies, sisters, girls etc. I don´t mean that literally. But when we are dressed, we aren´t exactly men, are we? I feel so soft and feminine when I´m dressed.


Joanna:happy:

[Lanore]

Over the years I've developed in to who I am. I'm not a natural woman but I do feel female inside and out. Certain parts of my body are not that of a male and some are. I think this confuses some people. Better their confusion than mine. My changes have developed over the years, so it's not as dramatic. Is it important for me to pass? I'll say I made a 100 on the test. Inside and out.

Lanore

[lisa68]

I guess I missed out on the subject on being called or referred as a lady,girl,she and ect. Well it's better than the way the world as it,what,thing, sick-o or whatever else that others may concieder us in this forum. So forgive me if I offened anyone when I refer you as female with respect instead weirdo man in women clothes and by the way don't look at my son you pervert crap. I'm just trying to show respect to everyone dresses as a woman and wants to be accepted as one in the world. So later GIRL!

[Snookums]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.
I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: you put that so well,because it baffles me too

[Niya W]

well my take on tis is,

if you meet as niya its niya . Dressed our not. All my TG freinds call niya, no male name. We always refer to each other as sis or girl friend. State of mind for me , it has nothing to with the clothes. The clothes merly express my state of mend.

[Breanne]

Well, I´ve never thought about that so seriously. Enjoying female clothing and other girly things is what we all have in common, right? I find that a privilege, not a curse. Crossdressing is a way to express my female side but it´s also a great fun. When I call you ladies, sisters, girls etc. I don´t mean that literally. But when we are dressed, we aren´t exactly men, are we? I feel so soft and feminine when I´m dressed.


Joanna:happy:

Right on, Joanna!
(BTW, love that skirt in your avatar)

[Snookums]

Joanna,are you sure

[RedBaron]

This is a very interesting discussion for me. I am a crossdresser who doesn't at all try to look female. I wear skirts, but I also have a beard. I don't really know whether I want to be addresses as "girl". On the one hand, I am male without a doubt. On the other hand, I like female things and I revell in wearing skirts, jewelry and all. For myself, I have no problem with all that, it is just me. But for people looking at me it must be confusing.

I guess the upshot of it all is that I want to be called by my name, being treated as the person that I am and not being put into a pigeon hole to make me fit in with other people.

So, I accept being called "girl", but I don't mind being called "cowboy" at all (I wear cowgirl/cowboy outfits all the time), and if anybody wants to call be anything in between , I can handle that as well.

Don't mind labels, you are what you are inside, don't give too much about what other people try to label you, be yourself. Be confident in yourself and don't let the rest of the world intimidate you. Life is too short to let others dictate how to live it, make up your own choice. (It took me a long time to get to this point, but once I was there, it was SOO liberating).
:jumping:

[Deanna2]

I'm with you Scrunchie. I'm a bloke who loves to wear femme gear and I do it a lot and recently while my wife is around. She's not overwrapt, but I'm making progress.

I've given myself a girly name and occassionally I'll wear makeup and sometimes a wig, but there is no way I ever consider myself to be a girl and I have no desire to be one. I don't fantasize about being a girl either. I'm having too much fun with my male fantasies.

I've got to say there is nothing like the feeling of wearing a cami, skirt and high heels. And long may I do so.

[Bianca T-Girl]

Mind if I jump in here? For me, there is a female that wants to come out from time to time and I become "Bianca." I want to be called Bianca and be referred to as SHE. When I'm dressed I feel like a women and walk and act like a woman with hand movements - holding a cigarette vertical etc. Quite the opposite to when I'm not dressed. I would love to go to a restaurant with a guy and the waiter comes round and asks the guy "what would you like Sir?" then turns to me and says "and Madam?" that would make to feel real good. But if he called me sir, I'd walk out. So when it's Bianca's turn to come out, she don't do things in half measures - it's all or nothing. She does my head in most of the time but I'm stuck with her. I have to keep on the right side of her as she can be quite bitchy at times. These are just my own views. We are all different but the same in many respects. Whatever you are happy with is fine with me.

Bianca.

[Karren H]

Hey girl.......some of us are just trying to look like the best female we can....and where I go out enfemme (coal mining camps....).....It's pass or die trying....hehehe

Love Karren

[Sky]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

Ok. From now on I'll call you "dude".

(But I'd still prefer to be addressed as a girl, thanks)

[pinkshelly]

I have to agree with karren. Dress and pass or die try'en. I guess i'm from the group, I want to be a woman, and would live 24/7 if possible.
It's funny, when the gg s.o. and I are rough housin, she calls me a bitch and I say thanks. Even when in guy mode, even nekid.
Huggs, Shelly.

[gretafemme]

I have to agree with those who enjoy being referred to in their feminine personna's name and pronouns. Even dressed as a guy I feel feminine inside and I feel honored to be called Greta, her, and she...to each his/her own I guess. :heehee:

[joanna_s]

Joanna,are you sure

Nope, I´m not sure at all, that´s just my humble opinion:idontknow:

Hugs,

Joanna

[joanna_s]

(BTW, love that skirt in your avatar)[/QUOTE]

Thanks, Breanne:love: Your dress doesn´t look bad either:happy:

Joanna

[LaFem]

I can't imagine how else I'd prefer to be addressed on this forum. Almost anything feminine will do. We are all here because, at the least, we dress like women. We take female names for our female selves. I'm trying hard to get away form male things. Please don't call me "Sir".:2c:

[KimberlyS]

Scrunchie-Bunchie, I agee with most of what you said. I also never feel like a girl or woman, even dressed in all femme including wig and makeup and looking decent enough to blend in with the crowds, I always feel like my male self. And as for feeling feminine, it has little to do with how I dress, but more affected by my mood of the day. Some days I feel more masculine, some days I feel more feminine, but most days a mix. If I had my way I would never wear a wig and little to no makeup and always present my male self. I would just wear a mix of feminine and masculine clothes. Much like many women do today. But my little town is not ready for that, and I would not put my family through that. And that is my choice, as I am also a father and husband first. We all make choices that we feel are best for us. My wife and I are actively working to find where my feminine parts fit in.

When writting or chatting with others I try to use generic pronouns when I can, otherwise feminine ones for curtesy, or I will use gurl or gurlz. But still mix in the male ones also at times, and I think mostly because I am always just feeling like my male self no matter how feminine I am feeling that day. What can I say, I just guess I am a mixed up person. I am a Feminine and Masculine Male person.

BTW, my wife really does not like it when I use feminine names or pronouns when refering to a cding. I wonder how many other wifes are like that.

KimberlyS - CD
A guy in a skirt

[Robin Leigh]

Ok, so we're guys. Aren't we allowed to play pretend? +?

I don't mind being referred to as "him", but being called "It" really hurt. :(

When my friends visit me while I'm en femme, I prefer that they use my femme name, but it doesn't kill me if they don't.

Robin

[Tammietoo]

Wow, I never gave this topic much thought before, and am a little surprised that anyone would be offended by being refered to as girl, but we are all different so it makes sense I suppose.

I guess what got me thinking is that 99% of us here have a female name above our avatar, so it makes me wonder why someone would call you something other than girl, or lady when you are here. Just food for thought, don't want to step on anyones feelings.

[linnea]

This pretty much says it for me too (Thank you, Shelley).




It's not neccessarily a desire to pass

The main reason is.

This is the gender we present here, so that is the main reason for being called a Girl

Its a text version of the optical illusion

And yes we have some members who do pass on a regular basis but that is not everyones aim

[LindaG]

Me I would like to be called sis or girl when I am on this site to.
I am getting a couple of more bras tonight and I might end up getting
flats tonight to not sure about them yet. I am marrried to a women and
I have a lot of male fantasys but in here I am a women

[Joy Carter]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.
I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?


I have always hated the fact the puberty changed me into a man. I wished to god it had skipped me and let me grow into the gurl I am.:o

[Snookums]

I prefer to be refered to as an "it":D my favorite television charachter was always the Adams family Cuzzin It.

[AprilMae]

I consider myself more in the Guy who likes to wear dresses category. i rarely bother with makeup and wig, but when I do I don't feel anymore feminine than if I am in jeans and flats than a skirt and heels. I'm not looking to present as female anywhere, and the name I uae here is just something I made up for this forum. I don't have a problem with calling anyone Girl if that is how they see themselves, it is afterall a personal thing, and so many here look so fabulous that Girl, or Lady is the only thing that fits. A lot of it has to do with your state of mind and how you see yourself. You could be 6'4", 200 lbs, but if you see yourself as feminine, these inner feelings will come out and manifest themselves. So it's not important what you want to be seen as by others , but what you are inside and how you express those feelings.

[Robin Leigh]

I prefer to be refered to as an "it":D my favorite television charachter was always the Adams family Cuzzin It.

Fair enough, Snookums. I guess it depends on the tone in which it's delivered. I wasn't expecting a mature-age guy driving an expensive car on the richer side of town to yell it out at me. :(

I always loved Cousin Itt, too!

:hugs:

Robin

[Shannon CD]

The first night I ever went out in public was with 2 friends. 1 GG and 1 F2M crossdresser. At the beginning of the night my f2m friend asked me what they should call me. "After all," she said, "tonight you are a woman." (She , or he, rather, takes these gender issues very seriously) I thougt about it for a second and realized that I did not feel comfortable having the call me by my real name, and a male name like Bill wouldn't fit, so why not use a fem name. That night Shannon was born. (first name that came to mind).

When dressed in public I feel more comfortable being referred to in the feminine sense so as not to betray my true identity (wow, that sounds so "super-heroish...lol). So it only seems natural to be referred to as "girl" or "she" on this forum. It really is a way to feel as though the transition is complete, even if only during the time I am on this site.

[Amiad]

I have to admit, I felt the same way you do regarding adopting a female name in the beginning. And, like you I couln't "pass" on an overcast moonless night, but I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to how things should look. So my desire to someday have someone do my nails and make-up so I can finally come as close to "passing" as I can, has little to do with trying to pass, its just how I approach all things.

Yes, I have adopted a female moniker for this website. I did not want to be the only member named Jim.

Jim / AKA Amiad

[Bianca T-Girl]

OK madam, you got it!

Bianca.

[Tamara Croft]

I read a lot of the posts here and get a feel of what members refer to being called 'him or her' and the majority I think would find it a bit offensive if I refered to them as 'him/he for mtf and her/she for ftm'... especially the TS members. Some members don't mind it, some get a thrill out of it.... but I think the majority say 'her for mtf and him for ftm' out of sheer courtesy ;)

[Sheila]

actually I have an alter ego if you like on here --------- Jess ---------- not my real name but amazinginly now it almost feels more comfortable than my own name :D

Originally it was chosen to help protect my DH's ID now i just plain like it

Jess

[Tamara Croft]

actually I have an alter ego if you like on here --------- Jess ---------- not my real name but amazinginly now it almost feels more comfortable than my own name :D

Originally it was chosen to help protect my DH's ID now i just plain like it

JessLOL, that's ironic isn't it... Tamara isn't my real name, but I actually prefer it to my real name ;) although.... my alter ego isn't as bitchy as Tamara :p

[ColleenCD]

Tamara said the majic word. It is about courtesy for others. Simple respect to show appreciation. :2c:

Colleen

[ReginaK]

I don't consider myself a woman. I just like being refered to as female when appropriate. Plus it helps distiguish us from the FtMs.

But honestly I don't really care that much about it.

[Phoebe Reece]

This is a subject that often comes up in the college class presentations on crossdressing that I am involved in. I tell the students that if they encounter a transgender person, they should use pronouns appropriate to the gender that person is currently presenting, as a matter of simple courtesy.

[Sheila]

Tamara,
You bitchy :eek: :OMG: why didn't somebody warn me :tongueout :tongueout

now gone into :hiding: again lol

Jess

[NatashaWI]

I respect that some of us don't want to be called girls but for me, please do! I love falling into the fantasy that I'm a woman sharing comments with my girlfriends. When I'm out I'm always Natasha and everyone who knows me, and some who don't, refer to me by name or with female pronouns. I simply love it!
As for the walk, it really isn't all that hard if you practice. At first it took me a lot of concentration - placing one foot just ahead of the other and keeping my arms from swinging wildly. However, with heels on I've become rather adept at strolling with lady-like steps, nails facing out with my hands at my side or holding a purse. You can easily develop that lovely sway that GG's have.
As for makeup etc - I love it all!
Natasha

[Vivian Best]

I don't know. Call me strange but I still get a thrill out of it when someone refers to me as she or her. Also when someone starts a post with "Hi Girls".:happy:

You can count me strange right beside Karen because I feel the same way. Many times I say girls in my posts. It's just the way I feel and I think all of us are big enough "girls" to accept differences in each other and our method of communicating. If we can't, we probably need "accepting differences" training.