should CDs see a doctor?

[leahfieldscd]

Hello All,

I've finally come to my senses and started embraceing my dressing. I'm trying to have as much fun as possible with it. But should i also be seeing a phychatrist too? I suffer from from depression and i see one anyways. But i know i can't tell the doc about leah. so i would have to change.

thanks
-leah

[KathrynTX]

You might see if you can find a counselor or psychologist who offers counseling for gender issues, perhaps one who specializes in that area. I noticed that you hail from Atlanta. I'm sure you could find one there.

If you don't feel comfortable telling your psychiatrist about Leah, it might be time to find a new mental health professional.

:2c:

[Snookums]

my dad tried to cure me from wearing moms heels with beatings,a neighbor told him to take me to a psychiatrist,the psychiatrist told my parents to have me committed to a long term state mental hospital and he,the doctor would prescribe electro shock therapy,I was just 7 years old,they never had me committed.my natural mothers parents sued for custody.
mom and dad thought a lock on the bedroom door and occasional beatings would cure me,it did not,the way they treated me killed anything I felt for them,all that was left was disgust,hate and spite,thats what they gave me,so thats what they got in return.
Igor once said to Dr.Frankenstien,be careful what you create,it just might come back and bite you in the ass.
I see a veterans adminnistration psychiatrist once ever 6 weeks,I tell that idiot absolutely nothing about my private life,they have already hung enough labels on me.

[princessmichelle]

Leah,

I sympathise.

I've been battling the depression monster too. But I've only recently begun to wonder seriously about the relationship between depression and trans feelings: are they separate, is trans causing depression, or is it the other way around? Complicated!

I met with three psychologists before I found one who I could talk to.

It seems to me that your question is about how to figure out how you feel. Your feelings, your well being, is what's important. Only you know how you feel about Leah, how you feel about her relationship to your depression, how you feel about the professional you are seeing now. You're the boss.

Good luck.

"Princess" michelle

[Daintre]

Hi Leah, I would not suggest seeing a doctor for just crossdressing, I think however your depression involves your dressing and seeing a good therapist is a good idea. You have to be comfortable with your therapist and it may take several trys to find the correct one. Even then it will take time to trust your Dr. and allow yourself to tell him/her your situation....

[myMichelle]

Leah,

I sympathise.

I've been battling the depression monster too. But I've only recently begun to wonder seriously about the relationship between depression and trans feelings: are they separate, is trans causing depression, or is it the other way around? Complicated!

I met with three psychologists before I found one who I could talk to.

It seems to me that your question is about how to figure out how you feel. Your feelings, your well being, is what's important. Only you know how you feel about Leah, how you feel about her relationship to your depression, how you feel about the professional you are seeing now. You're the boss.

Good luck.

"Princess" michelle


Read the above thread and take it to heart, Leah. Very well put, Michelle! (Nice name, too.lol!)

Speaking from my own experience--and I've placed myself in counselling three different times in my adult life--I think that, if, after deep soul-searching, you determine crossdressing to be troublesome for you, then absolutely seek counselling. If, on the other hand, crossdressing for you is not that big a deal, then don't bother dragging your lifestyle into therapy. Ultimately, only you can make the determination as to whether or not to seek professional therapy/counselling. If you do opt for counselling, just remember that it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. In fact, realizing your own need for counselling may well be the first step toward a better rest of your life!

Good luck making this very important decision.

[Wendy me]

i told my thearpest abought me ... and it's not realy a big deal but it's up to you... i meen if there is something that you want to talk abought and it has to do with your dressing or if your dressing is the cause of a problme that your seeing the doctor for then by all means speek up ....see if your going through with seeing the doctor and crossdressing is what is at the center of the outher issues then your wasting your time if you don't bring it up....

[Jestina]

Every cross dresser should definetely see a doctor.
Regular checkups annually and don't forget that lovely prostate exam.

We should definetley take care of ourselfs.

Like my smartass reply?

Seriously, after over 25 years in the field of mental health I can say you need help if it bugs you. But only to find out why it bugs you, not to be talked out of it.

[tall_brianna]

Denial is probably the most powerful mind bender. It can lead you to many false conclusions. Your depression may very well be linked to your dressing even if you're certain it's not.

Good luck finding someone you can talk to.

:love:

-b

[Sweet Virginia]

Oh, snookums, did that really happen? My heart goes out to you, for what it's worth.

[carol ann]

I do believe you should seek help and treatment for your depression.


Crossdressing, however, is unlikely to be either the cause or result of depression. It may be a means of escapism from your normal life or feeling bad about yourself - but even that is unlikely. Much more likely, the desire to crossdress has been with you since your childhood or adolescence, even if supressed at that time.

[Snookums]

Oh, snookums, did that really happen? My heart goes out to you, for what it's worth.

yes it sure did,my entire family is ashamed of me because I never fit their idea of normal,so my solution to that mind set is,out of sight out of mind,and forever out of touch with that herd.
all my life I was pushed away,rejected,so this is how I send them the message,I have absolutely no contact with any of them,no christmas cards,no use for them,no need for them to be in my life,I never contacted them when I moved to Utah,they don't know my home address or telephone number,they always made me feel unwanted,so be it,I have had absolutely zero contact with that herd in over 12 years,so I reciprocate in kind,they are unwanted,I wonder how they like it knowing them they don't care.
they have reaped what they have sewn.
what I do feel for them is beyond hate and contempt,I don't think there is a word that describes what I feel.

[lela]

I've been seeing a psychologist for the past 14 months. You see, I lost my home and everything I owned, along with my job of 15 years to hurricane Katrina. That storm changed my life forever. At first I saw her just to learn how to cope with the loss of my home, my job, and my belongings. And I had to tell her about Lela, because I lost my entire wardrobe, my makeup, shoes, everything that was Lela. That was a huge part of me that all of a sudden vanished. She has been a great help to me. At first I was afraid of telling her about Lela, but she explained to me that losing that part of my life was just as traumatic as losing my home and my job. I told her that I was afraid that she'd want to help me find the "cure" for my CD'ing, but she said "we look to cure diseases...you don't have a disease, your cross dressing is a part of who you are."
I am learning through her, how to accept myself, and how to deal with it in my own way. Not the way society sees it. So, I say if you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, go for it. It feels good to talk to someone openly about cross dressing, and being understood makes it a lot easier.

Hugs Lela

[Robin Leigh]

I've finally come to my senses and started embraceing my dressing. I'm trying to have as much fun as possible with it.
Excellent! :happy: There's nothing wrong with CDing, but fighting it can drive you crazy. :) Now that you've stopped fighting it, a lot of those negative patterns feeding into your depression will gradually evaporate. Some patterns disappear quickly, some take years, and some will always leave traces. These patterns run pretty deep, and we spend years investing emotional energy in them.

Hiding CDing from others also creates negative feelings, so it's important that as well as your friends here on the net, you also have people in the Real World that you are out to, to help balance this.

Other things that can trigger depression for CDers include insufficient sleep and poor diet caused by trying to live two lives at once. And some of us are prone to SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, depression caused by lack of sunlight. If you dress up every chance you get, & you don't go out into the sunshine when dressed, beware. :(


But should i also be seeing a phychatrist too? I suffer from from depression and i see one anyways. But i know i can't tell the doc about leah. so i would have to change.
I've only spoken to one psychiatrist about anxiety & depression, but I didn't tell him about my CDing. I guess I would have been comfortable telling a woman, but really, I'd prefer to know in advance that they were competent in dealing with gender issues. I was really only seeing him so I could get time off work (I was pretty stressed out from work overload), not because I had problems directly connected to CDing. The mild antidepressants helped.

Robin

[StephanieCD]

If you do talk to your shrink about cding remember to go in with the right attitude. I've talked to a couple about it, in conjunction with depression and anxiety issues.

The first time I went in with the attitude that I wanted a cure and that didn't work. Not only did the doctor tell me it doesn't go away but our conversations revolved around what was 'wrong' with me.

The second time I went in knowing it wouldn't go away and that I simply needed someone to talk to in order to sort things out and find out if it was related to my other issues. This time was more cathartic as I got to talk about how it makes me feel and what my needs were - so I could find happiness rather than a cure.

I've been in and out of therapy most of my life - the most important thing about therapy is attitude. The doctor is not a miracle worker - s/he is merely a catalyst for your own inner healing powers. They listen and guide you and they do not have the answers to questions you don't already have. They just help you find them.

If you've got the right attitude telling someone about your dressing will likely feel wonderful - once you walk out the door! It's scary and embarassing but it was a crucial step in my own accepting - telling someone in a safe, confidential place.

Good luck!

[MistyCD]

[QUOTE=Snookums;602395]yes it sure did,my entire family is ashamed of me because I never fit their idea of normal,so my solution to that mind set is,out of sight out of mind,and forever out of touch with that herd.
all my life I was pushed away,rejected,so this is how I send them the message,I have absolutely no contact with any of them,no christmas cards,no use for them,no need for them to be in my life,I never contacted them when I moved to Utah,they don't know my home address or telephone number,they always made me feel unwanted,so be it,I have had absolutely zero contact with that herd in over 12 years,so I reciprocate in kind,they are unwanted,I wonder how they like it knowing them they don't care.

Hi Snookums, just want to tell you that you have friends here. In some ways you can consider us part of your family... Hugs and kisses Misty:2c:

[Bernice]

Snookums, just want to say ditto to what Misty just said. I believe your story because except for a little less violence and a lot more totally avoiding the subject, my family experience was much the same.

Leah,

I grow the hair back on my legs before I see my medical doctor. I've tried talking to shrinks/counselors before, but only felt comfortable telling one about CDing, and by freak accident, he turned out to understand a lot more about CDing than I did. Unfortunately, he didn't bother to explain to me why he believed that Crossdressing was not a sickness unless I couldn't accept myself. The sad result was that it was 20 years before I believed him!

Of course nowadays, quality mental health care is way beyond the economic means of any but the very poor and the very rich, so it has become a moot question for me.

I recently tried Lexapro for depression, and it made me more depressed, mostly due to nasty side effects.

I say follow your gut. If you aren't comfortable, don't take a chance. If you are comfortable, then decide what you want to accomplish, and go for it.

[Kate Simmons]

I think Doctors could learn a lot from US!:happy: Ericka/Rich

[MarinaTwelve200]

Crossdressing is often (not always) a SYMPTOM that something "significant" is going on psychologically. One likely does not NEED to see a psychologist unless whatever is going on is causing serious problems. I am NOT talking about crossdressing, as that is only an ACTION or expression of the underlying conditions, but things like depression, compulsion disorders, and even mental illness that SHOULD be attended to.

Crossdressing is also not necessarily linked to "gender" or "sex" issues (it can be) but also issues of personal identity, thrill seeking, fetishes, ego, etc. and may not be linked at all to some serious problems a fiven individual may have like depression, which may merit the seeking of psychological help to begin with.

Of course, Psychoanyalisis may be helpful in understanding WHY one may crossdress--IF its THIS fact alone that may be bothering them.

BUT there are DANGERS----MOST Psychologists dont know much more about CD and CD issues than the average person, despite their education. They may reflexively associate CD with Homosexuality and Transsexuality, and may have an adgenda----either a strong negative bias or a "positive" obsession, that ignores other possible underlying possibilities.

If you dont think you are Gay or Transsexual, you likely are not, Run far away from some Psychologist who tries to tell you you are. He/she may be downright unjustifyably hostile or looking for another feather to put in their cap to promote a personal pet theory.

Don't be afraid to find another therapist, and quickly, if the one you have seems not to be up to speed on CD issues.

[Daphne Renee]

if you think your suffering from depression and you can go see a docotor definatley do so. I know its been said before but perhaps if you dont feel comfortable talking to your current doctor about your cding.. you should go seek out another one. I am reasonbly certain that any psychatrist worth anything would have dealt with these issues before in other patients.

[sparks]

Yes I should see a doc. But not really for x-dressing. That is the least of my problems. I simply just try to sort them out in my head. Part of the small town trouble is you don't want to talk to your neighbour about what's troubling you. My wife wants to see one as well right now but I'm layed off work and can't affford the bills or traveling expenses. So i come here and at times let loose what's going on in my nogin. It seems to help just getting down in writing. Perhaps a journal is my answer but posting here I sometimes get the imput I need.

[Stephenie S]

Well Girls,

I am absolutely amazed that anyone would be seeing a psychiatrist or therapist and not tell them all about you. Why would you be wasting your time like this?

I am not advocating all therapy, I think lots of the time it can be a waste of time, BUT, why spend that time and energy and money and lie? Lie by ommision. It just seems like such a waste. How can therapy help you if you don't talk honestly about yourself? And if it's not going to help you, why do it?

Perhaps I am missing something, here. I am not putting down all therapy. I found the time spent with my therapist to be most valuable. But if I had not told him about myself how could he have helped me at all?

Lovies,
Steph

[MJ]

well put Stephenie i see both psychiatrist and therapist it works for me snookums i am glad you are here. you have family here . but i too shear your pain mine are the same way. there loss..

[Snookums]

[QUOTE=Snookums;602395]yes it sure did,my entire family is ashamed of me because I never fit their idea of normal,so my solution to that mind set is,out of sight out of mind,and forever out of touch with that herd.
all my life I was pushed away,rejected,so this is how I send them the message,I have absolutely no contact with any of them,no christmas cards,no use for them,no need for them to be in my life,I never contacted them when I moved to Utah,they don't know my home address or telephone number,they always made me feel unwanted,so be it,I have had absolutely zero contact with that herd in over 12 years,so I reciprocate in kind,they are unwanted,I wonder how they like it knowing them they don't care.

Hi Snookums, just want to tell you that you have friends here. In some ways you can consider us part of your family... Hugs and kisses Misty:2c:

Misty thank you,thats why I enjoy comeing here:love:

[Snookums]

:bunny: whats up doc,or is it whats up duck:lol: :lol2: :lol: :lol2:

[Abby Lauren]

There are several issues here: 1) You suffer from depression and that needs to be treated by somebody- either a psychiatrist who will prescribe anti-depressants &/or a therapist who can do CBT. The other modalities (eg. interpersonal psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, gestalt psychotherapy, etc.) usually aren't nearly as successful.
2) You are a CD'er and wonder if this relates to depression. Normally, there is no connection between the two. In fact, frequently, CD'ing relieves depression and anxiety. However, if you have particular problems surrounding your CD'ing, therapy could be helpful.
3) You have been reluctant to discuss these issues with your current psychiatrist. If he/she is a psychopharmacologist, you are probably correct in expecting him/her to not be conversant with CD'ing and GID, in general. You should seek out a GID specialist, if at all possible. Nothing feels so good as being able to open up about these issues with somebody who is both knowledgeable and sympathetic.
To sum up, your depression should be treated and, if you're lucky, you could find a GID specialist who could also monitor your medication and/or CBT. On the other hand, you may also find that going to support groups- eg. Tri-Ess- will liberate your thoughts and preclude the necessity of having to consult a professional for your CD'ing.
Good luck, hon.
Abby

[Krystenw]

I have been to several different shrinks and with one exception I was told that It didn't make any difference what kind of clothing I had on that I am who I am.
As was mentioned they are generally quite expensive. It depends on where you live. I am not too far from BYU and they have a psychology clinic that allows people to get counseling at a very reasonible cost. If you happen to be close to a college that have these services you might check them out.
Just a thought. Depression isn't something to play with. The drugs you see on TV aren't allways what you need. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to.

[Snookums]

I wear these hot BCBG girls stiletto pointed toe heels when I go see my Veterans Hospital shrink,the entire hour I'm there he stares at my shoes,I just wonder if he is imagining himself wearing them.

[Rachel Morley]

I've finally come to my senses and started embracing my dressing. I'm trying to have as much fun as possible with it. But should I also be seeing a phychatrist too?
Hi Leah, IMHO crossdressing is something to enjoy and be happy about. I personally wouldn't go to a psychiatrist about it ever, but if you are already seeing one for other things, you could use the opportunity to "get it off your chest" if you believe your dressing is having a contributory effect on your depression or somehow negatively impacting your life.

[Jestina]

Snookums:

I have to say that sometimes the people who have suffered the most are the ones who understand the most.

The sweetest people are the ones who have suffered the most.

This is also likely where the humour comes from in these forums.

Laughter really is the best medicine, but then so is living well.


Jestina.

[Joy Carter]

Seriously, after over 25 years in the field of mental health I can say you need help if it bugs you. But only to find out why it bugs you, not to be talked out of it.


I was told by two counselors to stop. But the psychiatrist I was sent to for regulating my medication said to have fun just don't get hurt. It's not the fact that he agreed with me it's that he made me feel good about who I was. That was the first positive thing anyone said about dressing.:D

[Jestina]

A GREAT BIG BINGO SIGN flashes HERE!!!

YAY.. for u Joy Carter

Why do you think most of us in mental health are nuts anyway???
When I began my field studies cross dressing had only just been taken off the list of mental illness, along with homosexuality and other such things.

Here I was even then an accomplished CD'er!

I could bore you with the medical terminalogy that surrounds the official position of the North American mental health organizations but basically
The bottom line is you are fine everyone else who thinks you aren't are the ones who need their horizons broadened.

Or to put it another way, it aint you is nuts...it's them is nuts.

A very crude paraphrase of what it says.

There for what its worth, from one who knows.

Jestina.

[Sejd]

If you think that your depression has anything to do with the fact that you are a CD then it might be a good idea to include your story to your doctor so that she/he can help you the most. If you suffer from long term depression it might not be related to your dressing up. Sometimes people completely snap out of depression when they are aloud to dress up. I know that I became much more happy in general when I started to embrace my transexuality. I don't think any mental MD would be terribly surprised to hear about your CD'ing. But you know best.
Anyway, good luck and hugs
Sejd

[Shannon CD]

I began seeing a counseler earlier this year when I realized that my relationship with my GF was in deep trouble. Among other things, she had serious issues with my crossdressing. (It didn't seem to bother her for the first few months, only after I refused to kick some very close, lifelong friends to the curb). She told me I was sick so I offered to see a counseler. Of course, she refused to go with me.

I was very open and honest with my counseler (it may have helped that she was a woman) as I was with my GF. My counseler basically told me that there was nothing wrong with dressing up. As a matter of fact she said I could come into my sessions dressed because it was my time and my place to be me. I actually did go dresssed to my last appointment. It was kind of sad because I told her that if I ever did come in dressed it would mean that my relationship was over, which it was.

I honestly don't think that the mental health industry looks at transvestitism the way they used to. Somehow, somewhere, the idea was introduced that it is indeed part of the individual's personality, part of who they are, and can be a healthy form of self expression.

It took me a long time to come to terms with my desire to dress up. It took very little time for my GF to destroy that. It was very re-assuring to have a mental health professional validate this part of me, so maybe I'm back on track.

P.S. It may be of interest that when my counseler first told me I could come to one of my sessions dressed I told her that I did not want to make other patients uncomfortable. Her response was "Sometimes people need to be faced with something that makes them uncomfortable so they can see how they will react." Just food for thought.

[ubokvt]

I you are in therapy for depression and you want to benifit from it you have to be open and honest you can't hide parts of the story and hope for good results.

That being said therapist are human with all the faults we all have. If he has issues with dressing if he can't see this as just another aspect of you drop him like a rock. There are good therapist out there that might be able to help you. Might check with the GBLT organization in your comunity for the name of a good therapist.

[ubokvt]

Oh snookums I love your cynical sense of humor. Stilletos,:heehee: great, eat him alive kid.

[noname]

the psychiatrist told my parents to have me committed to a long term state mental hospital and he,the doctor would prescribe electro shock therapy,I was just 7 years old

Wow! electroshock for a 7 year old! I saw a film on it in a phycology class. From what I saw, I imagine long term harm done from such a thing. The more I think about it, how horrible.

[vbcdgrl]

Why can't you tell your shrink? It's possible the depression is related to your CDing, but, whether it is or not, your shrink needs to know the whole story.

Vikki

[Jestina]

It is far more likely that depression is caused by the frustration of not being accepted and the shame of living a life that you (we) feel is not "normal"
and therefore must be hidden.

This is the same fear/frustration/shame/fill in the blank here/ that causes us all to have purged our wardrobes and sworn off only to secretly again build another wardrobe.

No!! Everyone please get this straight and spread the "good news" if you suffer depression it is not because of the crossdressing!
If it were then simply stopping would "cure" it.

Depression is a symptom of other things wrong and the feeling of being unable to "fix" them. For example if you "feel" that crossdressing is immoral or wierd and you feel that you can't help yourself and can't tell anyone then you may end up with a problem.

I always aproached a new client/patient with the idea that they were not coming to me to find the answers to anything.
My couch was a meditation zone or a comfort /peaceful zone where they could examine themselves through our discussions. All I thought I was there to do was directing the traffic and fertilizing thoughts.

You have, and we all, have the answers somewhere in us already.
We usually know what we must do.

A good psychotherapist will help sort out the stuff that is already in there
and help you make sense of it.
Think of a troubled or stressed mind as a messy room
and you are too busy and or stressed to organize it.
Today there are many people who make a living cleaning up the clutter.
All they do is throw out the unusable and get rid of the junk.
The good stuff they keep and organize for you.
The good stuff you need is probably already in your head.

If it isn't you may need an actual psychiatrist
but frankly that should be for the most serious cases only.

Once the root cause of the depression is dealt with it can be put in it's proper place,
which is under your foot.

I have been suicidal BTW. (yup, the doc was sick once too)
Until I came to grips and let go and accepted me for me!

So I have been at both ends of this deal, hang in and hang on.
Life can be very good if you can just find a way to let it.

Just remember when you seek help the Dr. works for you and most likely you already have the answer.
He or she can help you find where you put it.

I am being way too brief here and trying to be quick to keep up.
Please accept this as a positive and encouraging word.
These forums do not allow the space to be really thorough.
I cannot move a quarter century of therapist experience into this tiny spot.
Be careful of how you repeat these things too it is easy to misinterpret something that is shared in an outline form such as this.
I just want you all to know that you are not nuts and not wierd because of crossdressing.
Doing my best to help thats all, without publicly inviting any online "sessions"

My heart breaks for anyone who suffers like this.
I sometimes want to get out and re-hang my shingle.


Probably won't though but I don't mind sharing.

Jestina.

[Kristen Kelly]

My depression was brought about by my not dressing, for 2 years I abstained from dressing, thought I could change myself. I was wrong, I started to see a therapist but not for my gender issues, but the conversations evolved to that. Talking about it helped but getting out and letting Kristen live has done more for me. I have stopped seeing the therapist, I have accepted myself for who I am, I have lost 38 lbs, in the last year, I am high on life. I get out often as Kristen and enjoy the company of other girls on the web and in person. I have made many new friends, whom I have so much in common. We speak of our lives and how similar they are. I wish I were able to do this years ago, for I have begun to live my life as I feel I should have been all along.
My relationship with my GG girlfriend has rocketed to a new high, no secrets, she embraced it and it has become part of her life too. We are out dancing with other girls and she has even accepted one of the girls as a true friend. Shopping has taken a new meaning she has become very comfortable around Kristen.
The transformation is no longer linked to a change of clothes, it is a state of mind, I can be dressed in male clothes and be Kristen, the line has become ragged, the boundaries are gone. I am happy and enjoying myself and living for the moment, continuously questioning myself, looking for answers, pushing that wall a little farther with each day. The road I travel has many forks, and at each one I make a decision, that will alter my life. Looking back I wish I could have changed some things, looking forward I know I will.