Did your wife know before marriage?

[sissystephanie]

Those of you who have read my other threads know that my dear departed wife and I had, and still have, a very loving relationship. I think that is partly due to the fact that she knew about my CD activites before we were married.

I told her before I asked her to marry me, and she said that long as I didn't flaunt it (as in Dragqueen!) she was O.K. with it. Well, her being O.K. with it actually went even further. When it got close to our wedding date she said she wanted me to go shopping with her. She took me to the Bridal shop where she was getting her wedding dress and informed me that she wanted our underwear to match! I wound up getting a white satin bra, panties, slip, and garter belt. Of course, I also had to have some stockings to wear since I was going to be wearing a garter belt. The shop lady actually fitted me with the bra, and told me that she bet I would love wearing those things.:heehee: I'm sure I was blushing up a storm, but I was enjoying myself!

During the actual wedding ceremony, and also during the reception , my wife whispered to me asking how my panties felt. They felt Wonderful, and I couldn't help smiling about it. It was a great wedding, and our first honeymoon night was even better!:love:

Anybody else tell your wife before, and if so did she react like mine? Wish I still had that white satin set!!:love:

Sissy
More Girl than man

[~Bobbie~]

wooow i really know what to reply to this. good forum though, my x-wife, i'm not sure how she would have reacted, i never told here how i felt back then, but then again i was married in the late 80's, and she was a real looker. but i don't know how she would have reacted to me liking to dress up. i know the next girl that comes along, i will tell her, before we even get real serious, should be interesting to see how it goes, maybe i'll have her read your opening statment first, then see what happens... yea, i think i'll print your out, and save it for that special day..

[KimberlyS]

my wife found out before we were married. and at that time we both thought it would go away with marriage.... i guess not.

KimberlyS

[lahr]

Hello Sis. Sounds like you and your wife had many good years together and i'm sorry for your loss. Yes my wife knew a little about my CDing. She thought it was a kinky and enjoyed it when we wore panties and hose around the apartment together. I was informed early on that make up and looking like a real GG was off limits, Going out in the real world in full drag was out the window and although I never fully dress in her presence I count my blessings.

[Bernadina]

Absolutely. I needed to make sure she was OK with my dressing before the relationship progressed too far. So I invited her out to a Girls Night Out dinner soon after we met. Its been fine ever since.

[Karren H]

Nope. Mine had no clue.... Didn't tell her and kept the secret for 30 years...

Love Karren

[Nigella]

Six month after for Sandra, but was a rocky path to where we are now. At first she thought it was a joke.

19 years later we are very happy together as wife and "wife". :love:

[stlmichelle]

I made sure my wife knew before we married. Didn't want to have to spring that secret after many years of marriage.

[Raychel]

Actually my wife found my stash before we were married, we were living together at the time. I told her it was an ex girlfriends. Boy that did not go well. Looking back now I should have told her then that it was mine. But I was afraid that she would let the cat out of the bag. Some 15 years later I finally told her the real truth, That did not go real well either. But it is all out now, at least to her anyway. :thumbsup:

[Snookums]

when I met my girlfriend I asked her what her feelings were on men wearing womens clothes,her response was,there are men out there who do worse than that.
we have been together going on 5 years now,she never complains,never berates me,but on the other hand she never compliments me either,I'm not sure why she stays with me,could be my talent in the kitchen,I learned to cook from grandma,and my friend Mike an Italian friend from New York,my GF says my marinara sauce is the best she ever had,maybe I could share it in here.

[GG Vanya]

Yes, I knew about Trudi before our third date. He kept telling me there was something about himself he had to share with me. As is usual with women I obsessed over what it could possibly be. When he finally told me my reaction was total relief and I said: OK, and....?

My acceptance was total from that moment on. I've never had the ups and downs that so many SO's experience and I think this is entirely due to the fact that my husband is well balanced in his duality. He is caring, kind, giving, thoughtful and absolutely unselfish.

I gave Trudi her very own wedding night. :) To this day she says it's one of her fondest and dearest memories.

[Carroll]

yep, she knew:D

[Karen Johnson]

My wife did not know before we were married, but was okay with it after I told her. Lucky you with the matching outfits!

[Sally24]

I told my girl sometime in the first few months of us dating. I couldn't take the chance that she wouldn't be able to handle it. That was almost 30 years ago and it was one of the best decisions I ever made!

She is still my best friend and we go out as husband and wife or two girlfriends depending on the day.

Sally

[bianncats]

no and oh how I wish I had...she recently moved out and we've been dating all summer, but now I'm into it more than ever...Now I'm really in a pickle!

I don't know what she thinks I know she hated it before and I think she knows about some of it now, but I don't know.

"I'd rather live with her in her's than without her in mine!"

[AmandaM]

Yes, three months into the relationship. It was getting serious and if she was gonna walk, there was her chance. She said "so?".

We've been married 15 years.

[Rachel Morley]

Yes she did. :happy: In fact she was looking to date a crossdresser. We met on a TG forum called "Men in Bras".

[veryhappyto0]

No, mainly because I had spent most of my early life trying to deny it to myself...

[Staci]

Yes, I told my wife before we were married. She was already helping to buy me panties, bras, and nightgowns. We actually had a couple look-alike lingerie outfits we would play in before and after we were married.

[racquel]

Yes,I told her about it a couple of months into the relationship and she said"I know".Twenty-two years and still madly in love.:hugs:

[JazmyneCD]

I finally told my wife this year after she caught me trying on one of her skirts (which I love, BTW). We've been married almost 14 years now and although she had a hard time with it at first, I told her that she should not sacrifice her happiness for mine.

It's been about a month now and she doesn't care. In fact, buying panties was never more fun ;)

[sandra-leigh]

Anybody else tell your wife before, and if so did she react like mine?

I had no clue myself for the first several years of our relationship.

I'd done the occasional experimentation with nylons filched from the garbage pail, but that was for, ummm, "excitement" and soon removed, or was because I was curious to see what it was like to wear those things (how can one not wonder what it's like for half of the population?). I have a partial memory of having worn nylons for a day at school as an act of sexual daring... but my cross-memories of where and when that would have had to have been suggest that perhaps that didn't actually happen... though perhaps I wore a pair most of one day during summer holiday. Anyhow, those episodes were just that, brief episodes, on the order with a teenage boy sneaking a read of a Playboy and maybe even daring to cut out one of the pictures and take it with him somewhere one day: they happened, but they didn't register as anything else than a boy exploring hormonal drives of eroticism,

But actually *wearing* anything femme, to consciously wear women's clothes for more than a brief excitement: that didn't start until late september 2 years ago (to buy panties of my own to experiment with), and I progressed very rapidly from there to obviously femme attire in public (a skirt in public less than a month later). Relative to a lot of the other forum members, I've had almost a crash course in crossdressing: things that some of you haven't dared do in decades, I was doing within weeks or short months. It's a very different situation for me: I never spent those decades funked out about whether I was sick, perverted, so on: it was more like, "Do I dare do this?? Ah, heck, what do I have to lose?? at most I'll get laughed at, and I can handle that 'cuz none of those people know what it's like to be me."

In the two years, have I told my wife yet? Urrr, no :( You know what they say about "There's never a good time..."

I don't have any guilt about having hidden it from her "all during our relationship" because it wasn't an active part of me during the first decade, and I didn't know myself. But it does bother me to hide it from her, especially to "white lie" or misdirect when I attend the monthly club meetings. And sometimes I end up resenting a bit that I'm not going to one of the social events because she doesn't know and I don't have any excuse, Tess-Leigh is noticably more active socially than drab ole' me.

[noname]

my wife didn't know, but neither did i. I will say I have always been upfront right from the beginning and she is very tolerable. Not totally accepting, but tolerable.

[Daintre]

No my ex wife did not know when we were married, I did not tell her because I truly thought that by marrying and starting a family the thoughts of cross dressing would go away. I know now that I was naive, my therapist has told me that it is common for men like me think this way. I tried very hard to be the manly guy and I did it for a few years....but...my cross dressing came back with a vengeance hence the divorce. :sad:

[Phoebe Reece]

Yes, my wife knew before we were married. We've had some ups and downs over the years about some aspects of it, but generally speaking she has been supportive all along. Next week will be our 38th anniversary.

[WendyCD]

My wife and I started dating at 19. I told her then that I like to dress a little. We played around here and there with it, fetishistically (is that a word?) - ultimately she didn't care for it and for a while - no more CDing. Never mentioned again. What does anyone know aobut this at 19, especially before there was so much knowledge and shared experience available on the internet.

I started again, very limited, years after, more now , I really haven't come out, not like I should. She knows something about it. I feel like it's a "don't ask don't tell". Most of the time it's a very stable arrangement...She will engage me in non CDing activities that have a strong fashion/lingerie/glamour "flavor". Movies, talk, magazines, etc... *She's* the one who dresses... and that's fine with me. I just have to not let myself become isolated in my own thing and not draw energy away from the relationship.

[BeckyB]

Yes I told her. I told her that I liked to wear womens clothes. I did not know or I did not admit it to myself at the time that it was much more than a "like" thing. She was fine with it, but I do not believe that she really knew what I was saying. I told her about my childhood and how I would dress up in my sisters clothes and later on how I would dress in my now ex-wifes clothes. At first she would go shopping with me, but now, not really now, but for the last 13 years she is barely tolerates my dressing. She has never seen me dressed and never wants to. Well, on a good note she is out of town with the kids on fall break and I am dressed to the nines.

[ShannonDragon]

She knew 5 years before we got married. Will be married 27 years Saturday.

:tongueout

[Billijo49504]

My wife3 was hired as a babysitter, house keeper, possible live in. and a phone number. So she knew who's panties they were, before marriage...BJ

[Vicky_Scot]

My wife did not know when we got married. We have been married for 17 years and together 20.

She has known for 10 years now about Vicky and is very supportive.

The question is if I had told her before marriage then I might no be sitting here 20 years later with a wonderful wife and great kid's. Would she have married me if I had told her, I asked her that very question and she said she did not honestly know but that is irrelevant now.

Never to positive looking back and thinking what if.

[keeley]

yes she knew. I told her not long after getting engaged. Admittedly it was after a few drinks and a bit frightening as she'd always given the impression that she was against crossdressing. Thankfully she accepted it as part of me and although she doesn't participate I'm glad she knows.

[Carol A]

No I didn't tell her before we were married. I think it really got started one week before Halloween as we were to go to a party dressed. Well long story short she and her sister dressed me one evening just for fun and everything went crazy from there. Girl the sex that night was alsum she took control of her new girl friend. Been dressing ever since.

[beckynytv]

I recently got married and she has no idea - I think. I shave completely and do my best to keep my things out of the house. Since being married the guilt is killing me, sneaking away to dress and saying I'm away on business etc. She is 30, younger gals seem more accepting. Leaning on telling her soon. I'll keep you updated.

Becky

[Lourie James]

Yes she did. I told her when we started to see each other often. She was very good about it, we started to go shopping for some panties. I have been wearing them since then. At first it was a bra, panties and a housecoate.
My wife was soon helping to make Lori what is is today. She even gave me my name. When we got married I had very lovery panties on and a special nighty for our wedding night. It's not always smooth sailing but we have been together for 40 years.

[Katie65]

My wife did not know before we were married. My urge to dress did not re-appear untill after our first child was born. One night the subject came up and
I told her I liked to wear her nylons. She got upset at the time. Now she tolerate as long as I do not dress in front of her. She has come along way lately. When we shop sometimes we pick out something for me.

[sarah-smith]

she knew from near enough the begining of our relationship :happy:

so yes :D

[Little Girl Mia]

My wife knew, I told her very early in our relationship. When I told her I was excited to find out she liked to crossdress boys and had done it before. We have quite a good balance in our lives with it, and I am extremely glad I told her ahead of time.

I would urge anyone and everyone to tell their SO before hand. You know this is something that won't go away as you age, so you need to find someone ok with it from the start. Otherwise you will spend huge portions of your life in hiding and fear, and who knowsw what could happen when you SO does find out. It's always best to be honest and open up front, it is safer for the relationship and will help demonstrate how much you trust her.

[sarah-smith]

My wife knew, I told her very early in our relationship. When I told her I was excited to find out she liked to crossdress boys and had done it before. We have quite a good balance in our lives with it, and I am extremely glad I told her ahead of time.

I would urge anyone and everyone to tell their SO before hand. You know this is something that won't go away as you age, so you need to find someone ok with it from the start. Otherwise you will spend huge portions of your life in hiding and fear, and who knowsw what could happen when you SO does find out. It's always best to be honest and open up front, it is safer for the relationship and will help demonstrate how much you trust her.

talking about it is the best thing you can do! If she loves you she will have at least some form of understanding even if she isn't happy with it! :2c:

[StephanieD]

I told her before proposing marriage. I wanted to make sure she had time to move on if she wished. The concept was foreign to her.

[Paula G]

My wife did no know about this part of me when we got married. I had it pretty repressed at the time and it didn't surface until years later.

It was after my wife when through her own self-discovery about her sexuality that I started to bring it out to her. It bothered her at first, but when her therapist said what we do in the privacy of our own home is up to us, then she began to relax a little about it. I will only dress in front of her when she asks to see me that way.

[MJ]

well no i did not tell her. by getting married i assume it would go away and i could prove i was a man. it did not go away. boy was i wrong

[joanne_mi]

Both of my ex wives (alas, a 2 time loser here*sigh*) knew beforehand. The first knew before we even started dating. I'm pretty open about this, I think it's their right to know before any sort of commitment is made, they can then choose for themselves.

Note; While I'd probably be lying if I said that the TG thing wasn't a part of my failed marriages, there was certainly other problems in both cases.

[Jodie_Lynn]

yes, she knew, and still decided to marry me.

[Cristi]

I told my wife while we were dating. It was, and is, such a big part of my live that, nervous as I was about telling her, I don't think I could have imagined taking such a big step like marriage WITHOUT her knowing.

That was 21 years ago. Though she doesn't participate in my dressing, she has never ever been negative about it or used it against me in any way. I am usually in a skirt or dress when at home and we both think of it as just 'normal' clothes now. My nightgowns, panties and bras aren't kept separate as part of some 'different' me, they are just laundry that gets washed and hung up to dry just like any other clothes we have. The only thing that really differentiates them from hers are that mine are the ones in all the colors of the rainbow. :)

She WILL surprise me once in a while by picking up a nightgown for me, or a pair of earings for my birthday or christmas.

I've set certain boundries for my self, but now find myself wanting to push beyond them (going out in public dressed, for instance). I don't know what her comfort level is with this, so it will soon by time for a conversation.

[Tiana]

yes i told my wife before we married as soon as marriage was in the future, i was prepared to lose her rather than live a lie, i knew my cd urges would never go away, she was upset at first and although she wishes i did not need to cd she realises it makes me the person she fell in love with. for many years now we have worn matching silky nightdresses in bed, i like the longer version though. we have settled into a good life and we are happy though i realise it could have easily gone the other way x

[Missy]

yes she knew long be fore we got marrired
she only had one thing to ask
please do not wear any of her cloths or under things
to this day i do not wear any of her items
and i can wear what ever allow me to be comfy male or female cloths

Missy