Dark gift... comments please

[CutieJulie]

I would'nt wish it on my worst enemy but I wouldn't trade it for nothing.

I'd say that cd/ts (mostly talking about ts) should be considered more of a Gift then a disease... Sure it's a dark gift , sometimes people can't come to terms with it and sure there are plenty of downsides. but the ability to see things from all sides of the equasion.. and feeling/doing things that "normal" people would never dream of, I think it makes it all worth it in the end.. I mean it's like vampires. you got to take the bad with the good and the good is REALLY good.. at lease this is what I believe...and look at this way... At least we don't have to kill people to stay alive.

Let me know what you all think about this.

[Lisa Golightly]

Normal is only defined by the fact that the majority acquiesce to a certain set of values or behaviour patterns. It doesn't mean it has any more moral validity than any other behaviour. That's why most liberal thinkers tend to err toward JS Mill... If it doesn't hurt anyone... well anything goes.

As for TGism... I view it as Human liberation. We divide ourselves against ourselves obsessed as we are by the number 2... on/off, 1/0, he/she... etc. I'm like the computer that starts itself when no-one is at home... I am a third state of being... neither off or on. Doesn't make it right or wrong, better or worse, just different... and it is in difference that mankind rejoices because difference is what makes us unique... and is kind of the basis for evolution.

Right... time for a cup of tea. :)

[Kate Simmons]

I consider it a gift, period. It's what we do with our gifts and abilities that count. I always try to use mine in a positive way.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[AnnaMaria]

I would have to agree that being a part of the tg community is a gift. We were choosen to be what we are because someone knew that we could handle the situation better than most of the people around us.

The big question is what do we do with our gifts that sets us apart from the rest of the gender challenged world at large. I see the rest of the world as gender challenged simply because they will never know what it is like to see both sides of a coin at the same time. They will never know what it means to be able to share the feelings of those around them no matter who the person is. Which I think is truely sad because this gift gives us an insight into a part of the world that no one else can share in.

Does this gift have it's draw backs? Yes!!!!!!

Is this gift worth living with the draw backs? For the most part Yes.

My only problem with this gift is in the fact that today's society does not allow for difference in terms of gender. To the average person gender variance simply is not acceptable and that in a nutshell is the reason why wo many tg's have such a problem with the idea of being tg in the first place.

If we could go back in time about 500 yrs to a time before the white man came to the america's we would be able to live in harmony and freedom with the rest of society with no fear of rejection simply because at that time being tg was seen for what it really is. A gift from the great siprit to be loved and nurtured.

Anna

[joanne_mi]

Once someone can get over certain hangups, this is definately a gift. It's only a curse to those that make it that way (I was one of those for a long time). I think the benefits to this certainly outweigh the negatives.

[Penny]

I think you have it backwards. I think it is a gift to CD's and a curse to transexuals. As a CD, I have been the oportunity to see things from both gender perspectives. A transexual sees things from only the female perspective and feels trapped in the wrong body. I am ok with my body; I just like to make it pretty.

[Carroll]

I feel its a gift no matter if you are a cd or tg.

[Samantha B L]

I wouldn't change it for anything and the older I get I'm proud that it's a part of my personality.Samantha

[ColleenCD]

"I don't know why fortune smiles on some and lets the rest go free.":straightface:

A quote from the song The Sad Cafe' from the Eagles Long Run Album.

Colleen

[Angela E.]

An apt description.Being a fellow Anne Rice fan I love it.I wouldn`t be any way but the way I am,for all the pitfalls.:hugs: Angela.:rose2: :rose2: :rose2: :GE: :daydreaming: :daydreaming: :daydreaming:

[Amanda Jane]

i do not think we are chosen / its a regular / routine / pattern in humans like most other traits / like other traits it can be good or bad / accepted or rejected / it has good parts and bad parts / isn't everything in the universe like that

things are yin and yang / both at once / not good or evil / not one or the other

sex is like fire -you can use it to cook a tasty meal, or you can burn down the forrest / your choice

its a change / perhaps a subtle evolution / or not / you can use it for good or bad / your choice

[Calliope]

Yes, a gift for sure. Does take a while to unwrap and assemble, though.



I think you have it backwards. I think it is a gift to CD's and a curse to transexuals. As a CD, I have been the oportunity to see things from both gender perspectives. A transexual sees things from only the female perspective and feels trapped in the wrong body. I am ok with my body; I just like to make it pretty.

Not all of us TS are explicitly at war with our bodies - or all that freaked out.


I would'nt wish it on my worst enemy...

No, I wouldn't, either. I mean, if my worst enemy - like that idiot who stalked me for years - was TG, then I'd be obligated to be supportive, wouldn't I? And that would be weird.

[carla smith]

I agree with this statement.

I don't understand the "Gift" thing, regardless of its brightness. I am a crossdresser and like it to have fun with it. When crossdressing gets "dark", I take that to mean "not fun", I will move on......I hope!

Have fun out there!

[Lanore]

I am a gift and I know who made me. Someday, the world will catch up with us, hopefully, and it will be a better place to live. This web site is a gift. I have no doubt.

Lanore

[RobertaFermina]

The Dark in "Dark Gift" I take as 'the Shadow', the part of life that I hide, repress , and deny.

Being CD, TG, or Gay or Bi brings something to the surface that many prefer to leave buried.

There is no essential reason why I should be a straight, drab-wearing, conformist except that somehow it is in my Nature to be so. Yet the majority of my life I was conforming (and rebelling in passive aggressive ways) to 'mainstream cultural expectations' because I was frightened of what was inside my emotional/mental closet, and afraid of being even further alienated. Using simple reason I realized that was straight because I really liked girls and women (as in I wanted to touch and have sex with them) and it was safe. When I had feelings about a man, I felt unsafe, and repressed those dangerous feelings. That adds to my darkness.

Guess what? I have lived in alienation from myself!

The Dark Gift refers, for me, only to where it came from, and only because that is where I kept it, and where our cultures keep it. Now, I bring it into the light, more and more. It is dark only for those who I come in contact with, who prefer to keep it in the Dark.

I bring the gift of Light to myself and others. When I face being a CD, I also shine that light onto other things I have kept hidden from myself.

I guess there is some Darkness when those I know prefer to push me into the shadows of their psyche's and out of their lives. That is their Dark Gift. May it fester and irritate them and dislodge something about their deepest Nature and Yearnings to float into the surface into Light.

Darker still, is when the urge of others to denial is so strong that they want to deny my existence, and can only do so when they deny me existence. That's dangerous. Even living here near San Francisco, I have to be careful of emotionally unbalanced individuals. For instance, I wouldnt walk into a blue-collar bar enfemme - that would prepare me a Dark Gift indeed.

Roberta

[Phyliss]

I don't know if it's a gift or not but I do know that I'm in a unique position to be able to enjoy both sides.

"At least we don't have to kill people to stay alive" no, you're correct but, when I see some GG wearing a beautiful dress I have to think about what I'd do with the body when I got her dress off. ;)

[Amy Hepker]

You Know that is the funny thing about Crossdressing, We get treated like a diasease or like we are freaks, but there are alot of things out there worse that what we are. The thing is we are more visable and stand out more. We tend to threaten the greatest thing on earth MAN. Even though most of us don't want anything to do with other guys, we are feared worse that most other things out there in the world. I don't know why so called real men have anything to worry about, after all we're not competing to be the most masculine in the world. It just makes them look more masculine, even though many of us could beat the pants off them, as per say. Parden the Pun.

[ToyGirl]

I think you have it backwards. I think it is a gift to CD's and a curse to transexuals. As a CD, I have been the oportunity to see things from both gender perspectives. A transexual sees things from only the female perspective and feels trapped in the wrong body. I am ok with my body; I just like to make it pretty.

While your point is correct , growing up as a boy , being trained to be a boy and being treated as a boy certainly gives a TS the chance to see life from a male perspective. Having this knowledge is priceless and IMO allways sets us apart from genetic girls , though i have met plenty if TS's who disagree and are quite happy to delete there whole pre-transition life and deny it ever happened.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I think we need to embrace and accept our ts sisters. We need to stick together. But those of us who are TG should treat it as a gift. At least I do. I think many of us are so happy to be born this way that and we love every moment of it so it is truly a gift. Just an opinon from Sasha Anne..a happy girl.

[Sweet Jane]

a gift...yeah, a gift that just keeps on giving.

[Kate Simmons]

A gift that keeps on giving yes, with the right perspective. There is a danger of this gift becoming ominous as it is a two-edged sword and can consume us as well if we do not get a handle on it. We must recognize it for what it is and take ownership of it in order to channel it's energies to make ourselves better people and improve our relationships with others. Like any gift, it is only as good as the people who use it and what they use it for.:happy: Ericka

[Babette]

A gift? Yes, I view it that way. This is the way that I was born and I have come to fully accept this "gift" as a part of me. Depending on many issues, circumstance, and points of view, I think any personality trait or perhaps even talents can be good at times while bad at others. Is being introverted rather than extroverted good or bad? Is being artistic good or bad? To answer these question and other like them, one would have to quantify good or bad in relation to someone's standards. I guess there is a time and place for everything including cd/tg lifestyles.

So long as I am happy, and my attributes don't inflict discomfort onto someone else, I will go on with my life at my comfort level. If my lifestyle does cause harm to someone, particularly those I love and care for, then I will exercise descression and modify my actions to fit the situation.

Sorry for the rant but a question as deep as this one, deserves careful thought and response.

Babette

[Kelsy]

A gift that keeps on giving yes, with the right perspective. There is a danger of this gift becoming ominous as it is a two-edged sword and can consume us as well if we do not get a handle on it. We must recognize it for what it is and take ownership of it in order to channel it's energies to make ourselves better people and improve our relationships with others. Like any gift, it is only as good as the people who use it and what they use it for.:happy: Ericka


Yes Ericka:iagree:

What gift, if it turns on you and destroys your life?!! May be that is the darkness! I think balance is probably the most important thing and admit that it is difficult to achieve. what we all have is a very unique perspective on life that most don't get to enjoy. To go even further I think that the gg's don't fully understand what it is we see. I'm willing to suggest that this gift is volitale and hard to manage given societys perspective. I believe your comments are true Ericka, The gift needs to make us better people to have true value.

For me it goes far deeper that the color of my panties!!!

Jennifer:hugs:

[susie evans]

i would say it is a gift and a talent that we can work on and develope for ever and meet a lot of nice people and learn a lot in the process

[MJ]

yes a gift for sure. now it's how you use your gift , that makes the difference

[Bethanygirl]

I have dressed full-time since I was fifteen, and I wouldn't have changed my life at all if I could. Gift, I guess is my answer...
Dark?-Hardly!

[CaptLex]

While your point is correct , growing up as a boy , being trained to be a boy and being treated as a boy certainly gives a TS the chance to see life from a male perspective. Having this knowledge is priceless and IMO allways sets us apart from genetic girls , though i have met plenty if TS's who disagree and are quite happy to delete there whole pre-transition life and deny it ever happened.
:yt: I agree with ToyGirl and DayTripper. It's the same for me, but in reverse. Not a curse to me - I'm TS and I can see things from both sides thanks to having had to live most of my life as a girl.

[marie354]

I am a gift and I know who made me. Someday, the world will catch up with us, hopefully, and it will be a better place to live. This web site is a gift. I have no doubt.

Lanore

I really with that. In fact, I believe that we all are far ahead of the crowd. A gift? How about gifted!
:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

I really with that. In fact, I believe that we all are far ahead of the crowd. A gift? How about gifted!
:hugs:I tend to agree with that Sandra. We're gifted in the respect that we are able to see things full spectrum. We tend to appreciate ourselves a little better as most of us didn't get where we are today without a struggle. A struggle with society's view of us yes, but an internal struggle mostly. It was well worth the effort though as it has made us better people overall and we tend to have a higher tolerance level for diversity of all types. Makes life a little easier to swallow for sure.:happy: Ericka

[Scotty]

What Lisa said...nicely put!

Except I'll have coffee instead of tea :)

[Diana West]

Exactly how do you wrap a dark gift????

I actually like that term "dark gift." It sounds so ominous and promising. Kind of like "Every silver lining has its clouds."
This is one gift that I wish I would have opened earlier.

[Wendy me]

Dark gift ??? lol relay this has been just a norther of them little things that make life interesting would i change it ??? no see all the things that you are and do shape the things and what happens around you ....

the Dark gift, sometimes and sometimes not ... now that i understand this other side of me more i can truly say through all the challenges life has had to send my way this Dark gift has had a way of bringing balance in a other wise crazy life so-far ... who knows were things would have gone without this Dark gift??? ..........

[telawilson]

I think the ability to see both the male and female perspectives is indeed a gift, but it sure is hard to walk through the women's shoe department and not say "Do you have these in an 11?"

Tela

[Satrana]

If it makes you a better person then it is a gift.

If it makes you relate and empathize better with others then it is a gift.

If it makes you aware of your own prejudices so that you can disown them, then it is a gift.

Crossdressing has always brought me joy in my life. In the odd occassion that I have met with intolerance, I have felt pity for the other person.

I have honestly never wanted not to be a crossdresser because I know it has brought me wisdom and knowledge of humanity that I would never have been aware of otherwise. I am a better person because of it.:happy:

[battybattybats]

Firstly I'll speak up for dark things, dark doesn't have to mean bad... it can be beautiful, mysterious and positive and as such I'd definately call it a dark gift and be happy to have it.

There is only one drawback to being a crossdresser in my opinion.. society hasn't caught up with us yet. Just like it was wrong to keep slaves or treat women as second class citizens it is wrong to look down upon, criticise or refuse to accept crossdressers. The 'it's human nature to be uncomfortable with it' or the 'it's not normal as it goes against societies mores' arguments apply as little and as much to crossdressing as it does to women in the workforce or voting rights for all races. That makes the suffering we go through noble in a way... like the women in the past who were driven to seek education or careers normally denied them.