How do you deal with your up's and down's

[MJ]

hi all i was just wondering how you deal with your sad times i don't want to call it depression just when you are feeling low..

being full time now and since i am among friends i must be honest thanks to jess gg .. gg have a way of getting right to your heart and seeing the real you. Thats why they are so special. " hugs" there are times when i just don't feel like putting on my bra makeup or even shaving from head to toe. and going out there in the real world. sometimes i just want to go out in drab just once but i can't for one i have no guy cloths and two if i am seen by my ex friends i will lose all creadabilty... this does not mean i made the wrong decision no way . just sometimes i want to cancel today due to lack of interest my drab days are just staying home in my pj 's be it pink pj's ... it's funny then there are you wonderful girls who cant Waite to dress up
Halloween is coming thing i will go out has a guy be it a feminine looking guy thanks to hrt ..

this tends to happen every time i start my new batch of pills i just get down for a few days then i feel real sexy like it's baby making time if only .. but to be honest i am not fixed so i cant and thanks to the estrogen my equipment don't work so finding a gg is out and i can't do anything with a guy no equipment life sucks ... all i can say is i pity the poor guy when i get fixed i have 4 or 5 years of catching up to do..
this could be mild PMS . i went to a friends place for 3 days and forgot my pills i know what PMS is all about never again i am happy to say i never killed anyone and never forgot them again sorry about my rant hugs

how do you deal with your sad times ?

[Robin Leigh]

Hi MJ!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down. Cheer up, hon, and don't be so hard on yourself! :hugs: Girls don't have to be girly every day. Once your hormone levels have restabilized, you feel better.

I stopped taking anti-depressants a few months ago. Three weeks later my job disappeared when we were replaced by a call center in the Phillipines. :eek: I almost fell into a deep depression, but I managed to pull through ok.

When depression is approaching there are signs. Learn to look out for your signs & heed them. That way you can stop yourself going down that dark & lonely road. Eat properly, and get plenty of exercise & sunshine. Lack of sunshine can trigger S.A.D. I got a mild dose of it a couple of weeks ago because I was dressing up so much & only going outside after dark. Two weeks of that & I start to get anxious & agoraphobic. I'd love to get dressed up this morning, but I really do need to go out & enjoy this beautiful Spring weather. Ok, I'll admit I am dressed at the moment, but I haven't done full makeup. :)

When I'm down, I pray to the patron saint of ups & downs, St Francis of a See-Saw. :heehee:

:hugs:

Robin

[Angela Burke]

Pick yourself up,
dust yourself off
start all over again.

An awful bunch of cliche's I know.But when
it comes to bangin' yir heid aff a brick wa!

[tall_brianna]

I've only been really depressed (to the point of crying non stop) a few times and those luckily coincided with winter and falling snow always lifts me up.

Usually, I've found that a good rigorous exercise helps relieve the little downers. ...that and shopping!

WRT your wanting to go drab, just consider that it doesn't make you any less of a girl to throw on a pair of old jeans and a tee shirt. I think we gurls sometimes feel like we have to go all the way, all the time. How many GGs do you know that never dress down? It's not what you look like on the outside but how you feel on the inside.

Cheer up hon, we love you! :love:

-b

[Sandygal]

I have seen many woman out in just an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt on that could be theirs or their SOers. I think you are such a woman now, dressing isn't a big deal anymore. You've finally made it, you are woman.

[AZGia]

I have suffered from depression for about ten years now. Due to other medical problems pills are out for me. The only way I combat depression is to be me and do what I need to be happy. If I need to dress I do, If i need to be outside I am and so on. You have to take care of yourself first and as for what others think, I am me. Be who and what you want to be to be happy.
Just my thaughts.

Gia

[Jasmine Ellis]

Don't feel low be happy and only one thing i can say if I'm feeling low is to go out and buy something. That dress or skirt you always liked, go buy it. :hugs:

[Eileen]

MJ you can dress any way you want to. Others do not have any say in how you dress! Do not worry about your equipment. You have a beautiful smile, just find a friend and go out and have a great time! Eat good, get plenty of rest and sunshine. Life will look better and you will feel better.

Eileen

[MJ]

thank you Brianna sandy Eileen i think it's just one of those days i have not been this emotional for months now having a good cry don't know why it must be a chick thing

[Bianca T-Girl]

I'ts best never to start on pills in the first place as they only treat the symptoms and not the cause and often end up creating other symptoms worse than the one they are attempting to treat. If you haven't started, then don't but for those that have, try to come off but it must be slowly. I could go on about this but I'll just leave it there.

But never forget that everyone on this planet (I don't know about other planets) from time to time gets pissed off, and when that happens to me, I just say "Oh well, todays it's my turn." Smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone.

Keep smiling!

Bianca.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi MJ

heres hoping you feel a little better soon....I don't know what you are going through as I have no experience with HRT, but I wish you all the best...just try to smile, yeah know thats hard some days!!!:happy:

[Country girl]

Agood cry always makes one feel better. I do have to agree though, sunshine and exercise not to mention a little chocolate:D tend to make the blues go away! Good luck and cheer up!!!!!

[Karren H]

What sad times? Ok maybe for a few minutes over the last year......but I don't get down much!! Ever!! :).

Love Karren

[MJ]

thank you i went to see my shrink yesterday i was hoping to get my letter for surgery and in my haste forgot to take my hrt well i did not get the letter :sad: and because i forgot My hrt i am a little out of whack

take two chocolate bars and call me in the morning :happy:

[Scotty]

Hi MJ!
but I really do need to go out & enjoy this beautiful Spring weather. Ok, I'll admit I am dressed at the moment, but I haven't done full makeup. :)

Robin

First thing I thought when I read that "She's joking, unless she's in Australia" :D It's Coooold here as fall creeps in...


I just came out of a major bout of depression, a month ago I stopped taking my T-blockers because of it, but I also stopped hormones, for 5 days.
In that same week I quit smoking. My body was a chemical nightmare!!
I had migranes left and right, and a week later wh en I did smok again I had severe migranes!

Anyway I got through that, except the smoking part and the estrogen part, I figured I better not change too much at one time, it was a ro ugh week!

So what I do when I get depressed, which is NOT often, really only maybe three major bouts of it in my life, I find a project that I KNOW I enjoy doing, and while I don't WANT to do anything but stare at the walls I get up and force myself to do it. There's no satisfaction really but I do it anyway.

I had some code to write that was supposed to take until December, well when I got depressed last time I had it done in 3 days working flawlessly.
I also went to a hairstylist, got the hippest youngest gal and told her I wanted a womans haircut, and she did!! It actually goes both ways, and that made me happy as the chemicals were balancing out.

So that's all you can do, you know nothing satisfies the urge to be happy but you have to try, you have to get up and tell yourself you know fixing that cabinet, or whatever will make you happy even if it's not for a few days!!

[Robin Leigh]

First thing I thought when I read that "She's joking, unless she's in Australia" :D It's Coooold here as fall creeps in...
Well I am in Australia, as it says under my avatar. :) It's been a very sunny weekend but with an icy wind roaring up from Antarctica. They even got snow down south; very unusual for this time of the year. Not very good weather for CDing outdoors, night or day. :(


I just came out of a major bout of depression, a month ago I stopped taking my T-blockers because of it, but I also stopped hormones, for 5 days. In that same week I quit smoking. My body was a chemical nightmare!! I had migranes left and right, and a week later when I did smoke again I had severe migranes!

Anyway I got through that, except the smoking part and the estrogen part, I figured I better not change too much at one time, it was a rough week!

Holy guacamole, Tclosetgirl! :( One thing at a time is probably a good idea! I'm pretty sure that my depression is linked to my T levels, too, even though I don't take estrogen. I will admit that I was tempted to steal a bottle of my Mum's Premarin when I was younger... I'm so glad I didn't.


So what I do when I get depressed, which is NOT often, really only maybe three major bouts of it in my life, I find a project that I KNOW I enjoy doing, and while I don't WANT to do anything but stare at the walls I get up and force myself to do it. There's no satisfaction really but I do it anyway.
Walls? Looxury! When I'm depressed I have problems getting my gaze higher than the carpet... :D


I had some code to write that was supposed to take until December, well when I got depressed last time I had it done in 3 days working flawlessly.
Cool! What language(s)? Nothing like a coding marathon to burn away the blues. Just watch you don't get too manic, though. I'm just an amateur, but I love programming, although I don't cut as much code these days as I did when I was younger. Most of my coding these days is for ray-tracing with POV-Ray, like the lippy in my sig pic.

Look after yourself!

:hugs:

Robin

"And the thing that disturbs you is only the sound of the low spark of high-heeled boys." S. Winwood

[Kate Simmons]

You are just being a typical woman if you ask me, MJ. Women need to feel loved and appreciated and know their friends are there to support them no matter what. Consider it done. You can talk about anything anytime here with your friends. That's what "real" women do. Since we are in touch with our femme sides, can we be that much different? There are some days BTW when I just say "the hell with it" and just want to be Richard. I recently grew my beard for a few weeks as I needed a break from being Ericka. It was just a break, though as I can't really throw something away that's a big part of me. Sometimes you just need another perspective. We are who we are, Hon and we are here to support each other. Remember that, Sis.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[GG Vanya]

You are just being a typical woman if you ask me, MJ. Women need to feel loved and appreciated and know their friends are there to support them no matter what. Consider it done. You can talk about anything anytime here with your friends. That's what "real" women do. Since we are in touch with our femme sides, can we be that much different? There are some days BTW when I just say "the hell with it" and just want to be Richard. I recently grew my beard for a few weeks as I needed a break from being Ericka. It was just a break, though as I can't really throw something away that's a big part of me. Sometimes you just need another perspective. We are who we are, Hon and we are here to support each other. Remember that, Sis.:happy: Ericka/Rich


I think, with all due respect to you Ericka, this has little to nothing to do with "typical woman behavior" and everything to do with the time of year.

I know of what I speak, I have it. There is a little known condition known as "Seasonal Affective Disorder" aka known as SAD. It is the *major* cause of depression during the fall and winter months. The theory is that it's caused by the shortening of days and less natural sunlight exposure. There is an ongoing research as to how this could possibly be the reason for so much depression and/or alcoholism in Alaska.

Google it and check it out . Knowing you have this is a huge tool with which to "fix it". I used to say the changing leaves couldn't be beautiful, hell, it means those leaves are dying! Now, knowing the cause of my sadness, I can now view those leaves and know there will be a rebirth. A simple example yes, but I now sail through fall with a smile.

Again, with all due respect, this can't be due to PMS as "M" is one of the few things sacred to genetic females.

[Kate Simmons]

I think you've got something there, Vanya. Don't worry about telling me like it really is anyway. I'll be the first to admit I don't know everything. That's kind of why I've seen the value of listening to what people really have to say, especially my GG friends. I never took into account the SAD issue. It really never affected me, as I worked a rotating 7-day shift for over 26 years, or perhaps it did and I never knew it. I suppose the changing seasons do affect a lot of people and their moods and decision making abilities. Even so, I try not to let the external environment affect what I do although it probably does to some extent. If it does, I've learned to modify my approach to things. I've received quite an education since being on the Forum in more ways than one. I especially relate to folks when they are speaking from their hearts and sharing their feelings. If my comments seem a little "clinical" at times, it's not because I'm being insensitive, just trying to be objective and understand it. I know how emotions and feelings can be overbearing at times. This is one reason I've attempted to balance my male and female energies. I've been at the extreme with both. It's much better to use them to complement each other and having them work in concert. I take everything I read under advisement and yes, my outlooks have changed since being a member here. Couldn't be among a better group of people.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Sheila]

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO OUT IN GUY MODE IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH HRT------------ I will always support those wishing to fully go down the SRS road but if you are going there why the heck would you even considerfor one moment going out in guy mode ---------- DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sheila]

You are just being a typical woman if you ask me,

wHAT THE H**L IS A TYPICAL WOMAN --------------------- WE ARE ALL DIFFERNT like it or not

Jess

[MJ]

hi jess
that was one of my bad days i get them i think Vanya's got a point when i see my doctor i ask him about " sad " that could be it oh and jess do you feel like dressing up everyday !!! there must be days you just don't want to do anything but sit around the house.. going out in guy mode no makeup etc but i don't have any guy cloths anyhow so i cant. sorry jess i am being lazy
and like i said before i look like a woman now with no makeup on. i don't get too Manny days when i feel like a pile of poo . today is a good day i miss you
DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i was being lazy thanks for the kick in the arse .i need that from time to time . ...hugs

[GG Vanya]

hi jess
that was one of my bad days i get them i think Vanya's got a point when i see my doctor i ask him about " sad " that could be it oh and jess do you feel like dressing up everyday !!! there must be days you just don't want to do anything but sit around the house.. going out in guy mode no makeup etc but i don't have any guy cloths anyhow so i cant. sorry jess i am being lazy
and like i said before i look like a woman now with no makeup on. i don't get too Manny days when i feel like a pile of poo . today is a good day i miss you
DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i was being lazy thanks for the kick in the arse .i need that from time to time . ...hugs


TBH MJ, there is a huge difference in a GG not feeling like dressing up every day, and a TS who decides to revert to male mode for a day. On our most "undressed up days" we are *not* going out in "guy mode".

I think Jess's exasperation came from the fact that a TS attempts to move heaven and earth to become as close to being a female as is genetically possible, so why would they ever wish to revert back to guy mode?

It doesn't compute for me either. <shrug>

[MJ]

hi Vanya
I think Jess's exasperation came from the fact that a TS attempts to move heaven and earth to become as close to being a female as is genetically possible, so why would they ever wish to revert back to guy mode?

i was having a real bad day.. i forgot my hrt and i went all the way in to Toronto for my appointment bad traffic interview's from 9:30 till 1:30 and still did not get my letter paper work not done then traffic all the way back by the time i got home i had to skip a dose this is Thursday Friday i was a big mess again i said something i should have not said.. because you don't understand the mood i was in when i said it ... now i think you think i have made a big mistake in changing my gender going on hrt etc am i reading this right ? and i do know you care :hugs: . but i am fine now relay back to my good old self ...
so why would they ever wish to revert back to guy mode?
again i can't answer that you gg will come down on me like a ton of bricks
may i say you and jess have been kind to me i am thankful i have you to talk to :love: and i will never miss a dose again hugs

[GG Vanya]

hi Vanya
I think Jess's exasperation came from the fact that a TS attempts to move heaven and earth to become as close to being a female as is genetically possible, so why would they ever wish to revert back to guy mode?

i was having a real bad day.. i forgot my hrt and i went all the way in to Toronto for my appointment bad traffic interview's from 9:30 till 1:30 and still did not get my letter paper work not done then traffic all the way back by the time i got home i had to skip a dose this is Thursday Friday i was a big mess again i said something i should have not said.. because you don't understand the mood i was in when i said it ... now i think you think i have made a big mistake in changing my gender going on hrt etc am i reading this right ? and i do know you care :hugs: . but i am fine now relay back to my good old self ...

I would never presume to make such a judgement. You're relatively new here and I wouldn't make that judgement even if I did know more about you. My statement was a generality.


so why would they ever wish to revert back to guy mode?
again i can't answer that you gg will come down on me like a ton of bricksmay i say you and jess have been kind to me i am thankful i have you to talk to :love: and i will never miss a dose again hugs


I don't think any GG has come down on you like a ton of bricks as of yet have they? Quite frankly I'd be interested to hear your perspective on this. We GG's are here to learn also, you know. I also don't understand why others think I'm being harsh. I've made a concerted effort to be tactful with my responses to you. I appreciate that you, at least, recognize this.

[MJ]

hi Vanya

you and everybody have been so kind to me and i value your advice

don't think any GG has come down on you like a ton of bricks as of yet have they? Quite frankly I'd be interested to hear your perspective on this

no you want to understand me and to do that you need to get to know me. talking with me and over time i hope you do. we are here to learn. if you were here in Hamilton that day i think you would have understood me. i would have cry on your shoulder all day. sometimes it good to vent !! Vanya i have nobody except my friends here . jess said that i am always up beat but there is the other side of me so i just let it out so people can see it's not all a bed of roses all the CD here show there up beat and happy side but i am sure there is a lot of pain here too i am trying to be open and honest and sincere in my approach ..i enjoy reading how my friends here are coming out to them selfs and there trips out etc i remember the exciting times myself but when one lives as a woman everyday and everyone i know is looking for me to slip up it is a vary hard journey. because someone some wear is going to say i told you so ..
this is supposed to be the best time of my life and it is but i cant help but keep looking over my shoulder to see who is watching for my next slip up ..
my god it is not easy to be a woman when you are under the spotlight from friends ,family,workmates, nab ours ,i just want to be me and the pressure sometime gets too much i am sure there are ts in here who will agree with what i have said if they are honest about it.
you know sometimes i had more fun cding in the closet than now just because of the pressure once i vent i am OK for a while
before i lived in fear of everyone finding out .. now i live in fear that everyone will be there to see my every slip up ..
Vanya you are not being harsh you want to learn and you care
i don't want people to think this transition is a bead of roses it is not that easy remember i lived my life as a guy for 43 years how can i learn all the social graces of a woman overnight it just doesn't happen sorry for my venting hugs

[shelly gg]

Sweetheart, force yourself to go out for 1 hour and go down to one of the discount clothing stores they have in every town. Buy yourself a pink sweatsuit that says "baby-girl" or "sexy" across the ass, and get a sport bra and some big white briefs. Then go buy yourself some Haagen-daz.
Go home, put on your new sport bra, briefs and sweat suit and sit on the couch for three days eating your ice cream and watching old classics like, "Sabrina", "Sleepless in Seatle", and "Some Like it Hot". No, it isn't a cure, but it will give you relief from donning all the trappings, still preserve your femm, and get you through til you feel like getting started again.

The advice about the exercise and forcing yourself to do a project is even more excellent but I know it isn't always feasable at first sign of a fall out. Anything to self medicate that won't hurt you or get you arrested.

Good luck, Sweety.

[Kate Simmons]

wHAT THE H**L IS A TYPICAL WOMAN --------------------- WE ARE ALL DIFFERNT like it or not

JessI just used that in a figurative sense, Hon. Just as someone would say:"Typical man". Of course we are all different. I was just pointing out to MJ that her feelings are not so different than others. I love everyone for who they are as an individual, so don't let my "clinical" comments throw you.I just try to be objective sometimes.:happy: Ericka/Rich