Requesting help

[Shellyr]

Since mid teens I have been dressing (off and on) enfemme, for the majority of this time it has been closet bound, however about 3 or so years ago, I came out to my wife and kids, at first they were very accepting and until about 4 weeks ago, they even made sure that I had all I needed, clothes, makeup, jewerly, all the necessities for being a properly dressed lady. The problems started 4 weeks ago, when my wife and I had a fight, I ended up in jail for DV, now she is claiming that part of her problem was that she and the kids were only supporting me because they felt that they had to. I never (to my knowledge) gave the impression that they had to do that, in fact at the time of coming out, I fully expected a divorce. Since this has started she has managed to tell just about every one about my other side, including unfortunately my parents, who until now did not know about me, at least not from me. What I am seeking is input as to how I can handle this, currently my femme side has gone into hiding as long as I am not alone. Any suggestions would be helpful. Oh yes, since this post, I have been on my own now for sometime, with only the dog for company.

[tall_brianna]

Wow hon, I am the worst person to give you advice on this subject so I think I'll just send a big hug your way and my deepest symphathies. :hugs:

Well, look on the bright side, at least now everyone knows and you have the freedom to choose and be who you want to be.

-b

[ColleenCD]

Shelly, welcome, and sorry to hear about your marraige issues. Since I don't know all the facts, my advice will be more encouragement than legal. So here's MHO:

You have your dog who will always love you unconditionally,for exactly who you are. Let your dog be the example. For your parents, explain to them, upfront and honestly (since they already know), about Shelly. They may not accept it, but will still be your parents. I don't know how old the children are, but time will heal those wounds. Be humble with them, love them, and still be Dad.

Now the fun part. I don't know enough to give you good advice for your wife. Only to say get a marraige counselor if possible, or good legal support if not.
Don't let her tell you how bad you are, it's all your fault, etc. You know better. There are many gurls in this forum who have dealt with similar situations. I would recommend you search through previous threads of similar theme for more and better advice.

Colleen

[MJ]

oh my shellyr i am very sorry to hear that. i think you should talk to her and find out what happened why she feels this way. she could use your cding in court against you. and i think it's nasty that your wife outed you like that .. now you have to do damage control. thats what happened to me too. but the good side is everyone now knows and i don;t hide anymore. the bad news sorry shellyr my wife and i split up over my cding .. but when i went to a gender identity disorder clinic i was diagnosed gender dysphoric. the good news i now live full time as Marissa Jennifer hence mj so for you i would find out what change if she was OK at first then what happened to change her mind " something had to have happened " what was it and can it be fixed .

sometimes people just grow apart this might be her way out sorry

i do hope it works out OK for you my payers are with you ... hugs

[kathy gg]

The problems started 4 weeks ago, when my wife and I had a fight, I ended up in jail for DV,

Can you please explain what "DV" is.

+?

[ColleenCD]

Kathy GG,

Me thinks it's Domestic Violence". :2c:

Colleen

[Kieron Andrew]

Can you please explain what "DV" is.

+?
domestic violence!

[kathy gg]

So if DV means domestic violence does that mean hitting and such?

And if that means hitting and such...who did the DV?

Excuse my ignorance, never had an argument {with a boyfriend or husband} which was so intense that police had to be called.....

maybe the original poster can clear up exactly what went down.

Because right now I am scratching my head...

[Butterfly Bill]

So if DV means domestic violence does that mean hitting and such?
And if that means hitting and such...who did the DV?
Excuse my ignorance, never had an argument {with a boyfriend or husband} which was so intense that police had to be called.....
maybe the original poster can clear up exactly what went down.
Because right now I am scratching my head...


Yes, it looks like the issues are more than crossdressing.

[kristytv]

quick domestic violence thing, my buddy and his gf were drunk, she was hitting him! got to the point he called the cops, they arrested him! and because she had just started staying there (2 days)he couldnt go back to his own place for 2 weeks!

[Kimberley]

quick domestic violence thing, my buddy and his gf were drunk, she was hitting him! got to the point he called the cops, they arrested him! and because she had just started staying there (2 days)he couldnt go back to his own place for 2 weeks!

***************
Unfortunately while most often it is the male who is the perpetrator sometimes the tables are turned and unfortunately the police dont always recognize that fact. My condolences to your friend.

As to Shellyr. I dont know if this is the first or last time but you cant fix this alone and it is going to take a concerted effort on both sides. I wish you the best. If it is worth fixing then pursue it. If not then let it go.

Kimberley.