I had an interesting week with my Wife..Absinth p- 3 But No Absinth..

[Melora]

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Most of you here, probably do not know much about me.. And I hope that I am not thought of as anything less than human, after telling this Info.. A few facts.

1. I am an Alcoholic, Born and Made, AND I LIKE IT! kind of..
2. I now have a VERY stressfull Job as a manager.
3. It is Stressing me out, = Alcohol.
4. My wife knows about my CDing, BUT NOT Everything, And no, she does not know about Melora.
5. I kept my secret from her for about 8 years, (same scenerio as many I am sure of this).
6. A few months ago, over a bottle of Absinth, We both spilled about alot of things, = She does have an attraction to other Females, and I am a TG - CD. she seemed kinda cool with this.

Now to the story..
This last week was a rough one.. I am working 2 - 17 hour shifts and 3 - 5 hour shifts and on top of that I have to attend every meeting that Corporate tells me too attend to, and Soo far this last week 8 hours on top of and at least one meeting a day for the next 2 weeks... After one of these meetings I came home SLOSHED! HeHe.. and We had a little arguement about "whipped Cream", of all things..., (all my fault I guarantee), But this arguement went into other things like our little Absinth conversation earlier.....
To end this looong story, We came to an agreement...
If I slow down my Dark and Dangerous Partying ways, She will not care IF I dress at home AND she will teach me proper make up and pick out clothes for me.. IF ..I keep my end of the. So now I have to fight my Inner demons, And there MANY I assure.

So, If any one has any insite for this story PLEASE COMMENT!, I would Love it!
One other thing.. With my secret OUT to her, Should I show/Share with her my secret collection of clothes? I told her that I have been doing this for a Very long time now, But not like the way that I HAVE BEEN doing it, Just that I have had an Interest in it since my early teens.. I am now 32, and she is 28 yrs.. I am STILL YOUNG.. So I should STOP the Drinking And Enjoy my body while I can!! or else I will regrett it for the rest of my life.
Any Insight would be GREAT! Thanks!
Melora.

[Talon DeRojo]

Melora - I would take this deal and run with it! I have experience with both ends - the alcoholism and the CDing. I have seen first-hand how the alcohol can destroy a life and if this helps you to moderate or abstain, you must give it a try. As a CD, I would welcome the opportunity to have a wife willing to participate as you describe. Good luck!
Talon:happy:

[serinalynn]

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To end this looong story, We came to an agreement...
If I slow down my Dark and Dangerous Partying ways, She will not care IF I dress at home AND she will teach me proper make up and pick out clothes for me..
Melora.


This part of your post is your incentive to stop your boozing ways and become feminine, If that is what you want. I wish my wife would be more open about it and help me with tips on make up and hair styles, and beauty secrets. In my married life i have never gone out and gotten drunk and I don't plan to anytime soon. SO crossdressing is it for me, I'm not at all really good at it but I do get out in womens clothes and I enjoy the time I get to be Serina.

[Billijo49504]

WOW!! Instead of drinking, play with makeup. Sounds like a great deal. Your lady wants to save you from the booze. She should be applauded for her concern. Even if you can't figure it out, she is trying to save your life....BJ

[KewTnCurvy GG]

1. I am an Alcoholic, Born and Made, AND I LIKE IT! kind of..
So I should STOP the Drinking And Enjoy my body while I can!! or else I will regrett it for the rest of my life.
Any Insight would be GREAT! Thanks!
Melora.
I think you answered your own question here.
And yes, drinking is not helping you and will eventually damage your body irreparably. Clearly you have some sort of internal conflict about your drinking. On one hand you say you like it but on the other you're questioning whether you should quit. No good can come of it. And it can but a strain on your relationships, especially with those closest to you--your wife.

I've had more own problems with addiction in the past (barbituates and alcohol, mostly barbituates though) and can say I've been where you are. There was part of me that liked some of the effects of the drugs but then the negative consequences--immediate and long term--worred me about my use. And the effects it had on my relationships was a major factor in stopping my addictions. The final straw was recognizing that my addiction was only worsening, my control loosening and my problems being worse for my dependence on drugs.

Only you can decide what you need to do but I do believe you already know.
Best wishes to you!
http://www.reutershealth.com/wellconnected/doc56.html

Kew

[JulieCDorlando]

One other thing.. With my secret OUT to her, Should I show/Share with her my secret collection of clothes? I told her that I have been doing this for a Very long time now, But not like the way that I HAVE BEEN doing it, Just that I have had an Interest in it since my early teens.. I am now 32, and she is 28 yrs.. I am STILL YOUNG.. So I should STOP the Drinking And Enjoy my body while I can!! or else I will regrett it for the rest of my life.
Any Insight would be GREAT! Thanks!
Melora.[/QUOTE]

Hello,
In regards to your question about fully disclosing your CDing that she DOESN't know about. I am not sure to what extent your wife knows about your CDing, but if you are doing other CD things in addition to what she knows and you want to confess, I would refrain from that at this point, simply because the situation you are in might not be the best opportunity do that, and (please remember this part)by disclosing other things right now,you might over load her with something else that she might find repulsive, then blow any chance at all of her be accepting of your CDing. Please be very careful about this. Let her be your guide. She'll do more for you, than you could possibly do for yourself. After some time has gone by, you might want to SLOWLY reveal some of the other things in your CDing, if you feel your wife can handle it and the time is right. Just do not overload the wife with alot of stuff right now. She needs to take everything about CDing at her pace, not yours. I wish you well in your endevor to quit drinking. to do it for your marriage is commendable. To quit the drinking will be difficult, but if your goal is to quit and be closer to your wife and have her teach you the different things, a CD couldn't ask for a better arrangment of things. good luck.

[Tina Dixon]

First thing you should do is sign up with AA, you got some good things going on at home and work so you need to take care of the demon.

[Kerry Owens]

you have a working agreement, that's sounds good...next gradually introduce her to both your wardrobe and the forums where she can meet the rest of the GG's who are SO/Wives of CD and what ever else alphabet lettters that apply.
I will also add, there is a excellent alternative to AA, one that helped me "Rational Recovery" hop onto Google and you'll find it, read it; print it out and you'll find a sensible way to deal with alcohol minus the mind games some AA groups tend to develop.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Melora

You have realised by you own comments stopping the need for alcohol is a good thing.
The bonus of having help with choosing clothes etc is too good a chance to pass up
It wont be easy but I wish you all the luck in the world

[Sandra]

I think your wife had given you the opportunity to try and stop the drinking. The question is "do you want to give it up"

Whatever happens I wish you luck :hugs:

[Jodie_Lynn]

Melora, I grew up with an alcoholic mom. It wasn't a fun time.

I swore that I would never become like her. Then, when I became of legal age, I would go to the bars with friends. then every weekend... then, after work....and then, almost every day.

I met a beautiful woman that I enjoyed being with. She told me that she loved me, but couldn't be with an alkie. The choice was continue to booze, or be with her.

And, after 20 years of marriage, I think I got the best part of the deal.

Good luck in your choice, and I hope you can see which is the better path.

[Julogden]

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.. I am STILL YOUNG.. So I should STOP the Drinking And Enjoy my body while I can!! or else I will regrett it for the rest of my life.
Any Insight would be GREAT! Thanks!
Melora.
Hi Melora,

You are absolutely right about needing to quit drinking. I have a cousin who is in his late 40's, an alcoholic, successful in business, has a wife and 2 wonderful kids, and is very, very ill, probably dying, from a combination of cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer due to his drinking.

You REALLY need to stop drinking for your sake as well as the sake of everyone that you love.:2c:

Carol:hugs:

[MsJanessa]

I am a recovering alcoholic with 11 years of sobriety---It's great that your wife is good with helping you with your CDing in return for you stopping the booze--just a little peice of advice---find an AA group to join---there may even be a Gay/Transgendered group in your area where you could go dressed---this is how I stopped and it makes it so much easier.

[paulaN]

Melora. I too am a recovering alcoholic. I just celerbrated 3 years of soberity last night. It is the best thing I have ever done in my life. I would find an AA meeting in your area. You have taken the first big step already you know you have a problem. In my case my alcohol abuse had much to do with my transgender isues. You have a golden oppertunity here that should not be passed up. PM me any time if you would like to talk more about it. paula.

[Bobbie cd]

Melora,

Please listen to the others that have posted here and get help to deal with the alcholism. Do not throw away this golden opportunity to improve your life.

I lost my wife of 20 years to cirrosis of the liver 7 years ago.
She was unable to overcome her inner demons and lost the battle to multiple addictions. I tried for many years to convince her to get help and often got depressed because I could not "fix" her problem. In the end, I lost her and it took me a long time to work my way through the loss and the self-imposed guilt before I finally realized that no one else can solve this problem until the person with the problem is really ready to help themselves.
That being said, the fact that you came out with the post that you did indicates to me that you may actually be ready to deal with this problem. I hope so and pray that you are able to overcome the alcoholism before it destroys your life.

Sorry for the longish rant, but as you can tell, it strikes fairly close to home for me, although from a slightly different perspective.

[Melora]

Thank you ALL SOO Much for your POST! :) In a way I DID answer my own question, AND YES I DO see the Great oppurtunity that I should grasp. I actually want to live Forever! Soo I should start trying to do SO.
I will try to keep you all posted and PM you and all, but I am in a battle right now with myself. AA in my area = Yes I will Attend.. TG group in my area = Not very likely, But I will look OR maybe even travel to one If I can.
Thanks for the support!
P.S. In my beggining post I said that I "Like It"! Actually I DO! And that IS the problem.. So That is why I should stop, and enjoy this short life that I have.. But it is a battle all the same.

[terrinoble]

I thought absinthe was illegal in much of the U.S. (I know, so is cannabis, but people can still get it...)

That said, I wish you all the best, and though it won't be easy I'm glad you made the right decision.

[Billijo49504]

Melora, if you must go to a bar, make it a candy bar....:heehee: ...BJ

[kittypw GG]

I am a recovering alcoholic with 11 years of sobriety---It's great that your wife is good with helping you with your CDing in return for you stopping the booze--just a little peice of advice---find an AA group to join---there may even be a Gay/Transgendered group in your area where you could go dressed---this is how I stopped and it makes it so much easier.

This is very good advice. Rarely does one find that when you eliminate the alcohol you are free of conflict. Alcohol is used often as a means of escape just like food , drugs, spending or gambeling is. When you take away that escape route you have to find a constructive way to deal with why you wanted to escape in the first place. They are finding out now that people who have gastric bypass are turning to booze and sex instead of being happy. The reason is that eating was their way of dealing with or escaping from their real issues. Havign a support group that not only helps you stay sober but gives you a sense of community and support is well worth it.
Good luck. :hugs: Kitty

[Sally24]

My wife made a similar deal with me when I left the military. I had been away from pot for all 6 years of my Navy time because of the random drug tests. My wife didn't want the chance that our children would see or be influenced by drugs. She made a deal with me; If I gave up pot for good, she would help me dress. It was a deal I could not turn down!

Outside of the fact that alcohol is generally bad for you in large doses, it can do a number on the "look" of your body. I haven't smoked or drank to excess since college and it shows. I've met some of my high school classmates that aren't as careful and they look at least 10 years older than me! You are at an age where it can make a tremendous difference.

Good Luck!

Sally

[Carroll]

Like everybody else here, I agree with the drinking. It might not be an easy road, but you will find if you have the will power you can beat this problem....that and its a hell of a lot easier to put on makeup while sober!