Thoughts from my SO

[ubokvt]

My SO is not very computer literate so I'm shareing some of her thought and hoping for some coments

1. I just went for my first make over, by having her get one at the same time She commented that doing it togather changed the whole experience for her. She felt included in what was a fun playful experience rather than something just about my dressing. I doing and participating in mine she better understood me and what I was feeling. Inclusion made it a positive and understandable experience rather than me just comeing home and telling her about it.

2. We also talked about my dressing and she shared something I'd like some comments on. In the begining, my dressing was hard on her because in some way she saw me, and hence my dress as an extension of who she was. Because we had be in a long term relationship she had quite naturaly come to see me and who I was as an extersion of who she was. (only thought men and companies saw wives this way) When she could see us as sepperate, that my dressing was mine and she had no ownership or resposiblity for it, it became much easier for her to work with it.

[Tree GG]

Being involved removes much of the unknown and fear. Also "sharing the fun" sounds great. It's too much of SO being excluded or used as a personal valet. Buy for me, photograph me, chauffeur me, ..... Not much fun for the SO.

I feel no ownership nor desire ownership. I was just fine without it.

You've been considerate and open with your SO - how wonderful for her. I think serious issues arise when the CDer takes the attitude they can do whatever they want, when they want and if the SO truly loves them, it will be accepted. And the obsessive, pink blinders that make CDing all their world is hard to live with. Hello....the rest of us are still here, too.

Congrats on finding mutual fun in this - that's inspirational.:thumbsup:

[joanne_mi]

Both you and your SO seem like great people. It's all too easy to forget that we don't live in a vacuum, and that our actions impact others. For myself, I wish I could go back and use the example you've set forth in my previous marriage. Unfortunately, I was terribly selfish back then.

Best wishes to you both.

[Billijo49504]

I agree, your SO has to be a very important part of your total life. Not just the other woman. Be sure she knows she is special in your life....BJ

[Eileen]

Dear including you wife was so wonderful. You gave her the same joy you were receiving yourself. I know, after the make over you took her out and treated her to a nice dinner! As a couple we need to share with each other.

Eileen