Mixed Feelings, What's going on???????????

[janelle]

Hi all, Want a last couple months i have had. Tons of fun, alot of sadness & now mixed feelings. Working 3rd shift lastnight gave me a feeling that i did not like, i felt like a man wearing woman's things. I still felt funny using the men's restroom but just could not shake i how felt. Today is no better. What's going on??? Is it a time in my life where my male hormones are stronger for a change? I have been dressing 95% femme everyday since the end of Aug. & this is the first time this has happened. Am i having subconcous (sp) feelings about myself. Is it doubts,what is it?
To be completely honest i feel like a freak today. I am a female in my mind, my body is male, & i just don't fit in, in either place. I am in no person land!!
I have read where the male hormones sometimes get stronger every once in awhile but i hate feeling like a freak. I know i am not & i am hoping it is the stress of being put on 3rd shift after 20 some years on days.
Does anyone else go thru this or something like it? Or am i alone with this mixed bag of fruit? I am almost ready to call my shrink & have her put me in the hospital(won't do any good cause i know i need to be myself...Janelle).

PLEASE someone who has been alady longer than i, give me your words of wisdom. I would love to hear what the GG have to say also. Thank you all for caring.

:hugs: :love: Janelle

[Nikki Dee]

No great words of wisdom I'm afraid Janelle....but you are NOT alone.!!!...what you are suffering from is, I think, called "normal"...phases of confusion/frustration/doubt etc....and all at varying strengths and lengths. I think you will find so many Tgirls have experienced similiar feelings at some time...and like so many things...will pass..until the next time.!!..I have been there in the past love but I have been TG so long now that I don't seem to have those phases anymore...I just accept who/what I am and simply enjoy.
Good luck.
Nikki. x

[Roberta Lynn]

No great words of wisdom I'm afraid Janelle....but you are NOT alone.!!!...what you are suffering from is, I think, called "normal"...phases of confusion/frustration/doubt etc....and all at varying strengths and lengths. I think you will find so many Tgirls have experienced similiar feelings at some time...and like so many things...will pass..until the next time.!!

:iagree:

But don't minimize the effect your shift change is having on you,
I went through almost the same thing, days to 3rd shift after 17 years on days. Fortunately I was only on 3rd for a month. During that month I was an emotional and physical wreck. Just too radical a change in the body clock. I know people get use to it after a while. But I think the transition is tough.

Good luck Janelle, hope things work out for you. :love:

[Sandra]

Janelle



I have read where the male hormones sometimes get stronger every once in awhile but i hate feeling like a freak

You are not a freak I don't have any answers wish I did, I guess some of the other girls will be able to give more comments and advise for you. :hugs:

[janelle]

I agree that 3rd shift is hard to get use to. 2/3 hours sleep in the morning & maybe 3 b4 going into work just does not cut it. I hope that is the main reason for all this.
Thanks for your thoughts so far. Take care.
:love: Janelle

[paulaN]

I work shiftwork. 3rd shift sucks. You were on a normal day rooteen for so long that your hole world is turned upside down right now. I think that has more to do with what you are feeling than anything. hang in their and hope it does'nt last long.

[hotbobbie]

Hon don't worry about it. We all go thru it. I have it about once a month and i am cd 24-7. I look at it as my monthly period.

[janelle]

Hotbobbie, that is a good thought, i think that is how i will look at it. Thanks
:love: Janelle

[MJ]

Janelle
i to go through bouts of emotional up's and down's i get them when i start my new monthly meds i cant say pms but yes something like it.. it last for two or three days and it's gone and i feel fine until next month when whatever it is starts again... working hard like you do does not help you need your rest . all i can say is just go with the flow in a few days you should be OK if not better go see your doc i posted my feelings here too
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43216 is it how you sometimes feel ?. you might get some insight i hope this helps you hugs

[sandra-leigh]

To be completely honest i feel like a freak today. [...]
I have read where the male hormones sometimes get stronger every once in awhile

There was a news item within the last couple of days that related male aggression to reduced estrogen levels (yes, estrogen not testosterone), and related both to light cycles. Less light in winter, males get more moody and violent.

And with your shiftwork you probably aren't getting the amount of (proper) light that you need.

[GG Vanya]

Hon don't worry about it. We all go thru it. I have it about once a month and i am cd 24-7. I look at it as my monthly period.

:eek: :thumbsdn:

[Jennaie]

Just go with how you feel. When I feel male, I dress male. If the female subsides for a while I just go with it. I have not dressed in quite some time now. It's about accepting who you are inside, male/female.

Don't feel like you have to be on one side of the fence all the time.

[Sejd]

Hi Janelle
I have sometimes felt that as well. The thought: Am I a f...... freak? but the truth is that you are not, and that I am not. It is just sometimes hard to be in this "no place" land, not a real guy, not a real woman. But you are who you are, and there is no going back. Just have a bit patience with yourself and let yourself enjoy every part of life. Good luck
huggs
Sejd

[Sweet Jane]

I always feel like a man in a dress...I just love the getting dressed, the makeup, the illusion, but after the risk, I feel like a cheap sideshow drag queen. Its funny, but the compulsion to dress overpowers the feelings I get afterwards of being a freak.

I can't really help you, but I think I feel the same way you are feeling...I love dressing and I just want to stop now before I'm totally out of control. Don't know how though!!!

[Kimberly]

To be completely honest i feel like a freak today. I am a female in my mind, my body is male, & i just don't fit in, in either place. I am in no person land!!
This is a common feeling for me too.

Some days you can feel beautiful, and dressing correctly - other days it hits you: I'm a guy.

It's the eternal struggle with ourselves, for which I have no answer, other than listen to your inner self, and just dress how you want. If it feels wrong, don't do it - thinking female and feeling female are definitly different things. xx