Brenda_fish
11-01-2006, 03:09 PM
I originally wrote this in response to the "late start" thread started by kayla_cd_va but figured it would just get buried. But hey, this is my true story! It seems I'm a bit unusual in how I started. I'd be interested to know if there are any other girls like this.
I started recently, but unlike most here, I never had any conscious feelings about actually dressing until a few years ago. In my teens and 20s I was totally into "chicks", but so was every other guy on the planet. I was enfatuated with every pretty girl I saw and I could not take my eyes off of them. In hindsight, I think I was trying to figure out what made them so pretty and attractive. In my mid-30s I started to pay much more detailed attention to clothes, make-up, hair styles, etc. and formed strong opinions on what styles and "looks" I liked. I started buying things for my wife that fit those mental images. I devoured Victorias Secret catalogs trying to find things I liked for her (and that she might wear, even if in private). Still, that did not seem particularly unusual to me, lot of men buy sexy stuff for their SOs. Then about 3 or 4 years ago I had the creeping realization that many of the things I was shopping for were things that I actually wished I could wear. Wow, that was a strange and scary but there was no denying that it made me excited. I was always fairly "manly" but I realized that that did make me different from most other men. Of course, I knew about drag queens and had vague notions of heterosexual CDs, but now, it seemed, I might be one of them. For a couple of years I tried to supress and deny it, but it became clear that my feelings were for-real and were becoming stronger. After a whole lot of axiety, I came out to my wife just over a year ago. It seems that most girls here had strong CD feelings at an early age even if they did not act on them until later. I suppose you can see the CD tendencies in my past even if I was not conscious of them.
But however it developed, I'm here and I love it.
And this site has helped immeasurably! :love:
Love,
Brenda
I started recently, but unlike most here, I never had any conscious feelings about actually dressing until a few years ago. In my teens and 20s I was totally into "chicks", but so was every other guy on the planet. I was enfatuated with every pretty girl I saw and I could not take my eyes off of them. In hindsight, I think I was trying to figure out what made them so pretty and attractive. In my mid-30s I started to pay much more detailed attention to clothes, make-up, hair styles, etc. and formed strong opinions on what styles and "looks" I liked. I started buying things for my wife that fit those mental images. I devoured Victorias Secret catalogs trying to find things I liked for her (and that she might wear, even if in private). Still, that did not seem particularly unusual to me, lot of men buy sexy stuff for their SOs. Then about 3 or 4 years ago I had the creeping realization that many of the things I was shopping for were things that I actually wished I could wear. Wow, that was a strange and scary but there was no denying that it made me excited. I was always fairly "manly" but I realized that that did make me different from most other men. Of course, I knew about drag queens and had vague notions of heterosexual CDs, but now, it seemed, I might be one of them. For a couple of years I tried to supress and deny it, but it became clear that my feelings were for-real and were becoming stronger. After a whole lot of axiety, I came out to my wife just over a year ago. It seems that most girls here had strong CD feelings at an early age even if they did not act on them until later. I suppose you can see the CD tendencies in my past even if I was not conscious of them.
But however it developed, I'm here and I love it.
And this site has helped immeasurably! :love:
Love,
Brenda