protective of SO while out

[kris00]

hi, im new.

anyways, ive yet to go out dressed but my SO is into the dressing and definitely wants to go out and im definitely passable. however, as much as i want to, im concerned about what i would do if another guy were to verbally hit on my girlfriend or harass her, thinking that i was just "her friend" and not her boyfriend. i know id just drop the feminine act and likely try to pop the guy in the face if he did anything more than say hi.

unfortunately part of the blessing that comes with being quite passable is that it comes with the curse of... a less than physically intimidating physique. so id not only get my ass kicked, but id get it kicked in a dress, wig coming off.... definitely not a good day.

shes 18 and im 20, so this is definitely a likely scenario if we were to venture to any of our usualy hang outs, like the mall.

well anyways what do you all think? has anyone had to deal with anything like this?

[Carroll]

From what it sounds, you might have a little case of the green monster. Its OK to be jealous to a point. As for as what to do, use you common sense, imagination, and think before acting. Things you can say or do if a guy goes a bit far
1) leave
2) Look at her and say something like "What time is you hubby meeting us here?
3) Look for a ring on his finger. If yes, "so how long have you been married"
4) Give her a serious lip lock :)
4) As a last resort "What did the doctor say about the itchy rash you have?"

Mind you, the last one is tongue in check, but you get the gist of what I am saying.

Carroll

[DonnaT]

Hi Kris, welcome to the forum.

Your girlfriend probably has experience in dealing with come ons from guys. Have you talked it over with her? Asked her what she would do? Asked her what she would like for you to do?

And what about you? What would you do if the guy were to come on to you, not your girlfriend?

What would you do if there were two guys coming on to both of you?

How would you respond to comments about being lesbians?

I suggest tyalking it over with your GF.

Note that physical confrontation is against the law. You don't want to end up in jail dressed as a woman. So you need to work out how to respond before going out, such as Carroll has mentioned.

Being worried about such things is one reason a lot of CDs and their SOs go to gay establishments.

[ubokvt]

First take a deep breath... If your partner is close enough with you to go out dressed she will not respond positively excep to play with you. Think of this as a chance to see how a woman fends off a predator from another point of view. Think of this as training for you. If you are passable what are you going to do if they hit on you. You are two girls out togather what do you do if a grop of men hit on both of you at the same time. Remeber if you are out dressed with your partner you are two young GIRLFRIENDS out on the town and men are looking are you ready for a mans attention. Are you ready to be checked out and thought of that way.

[tall_brianna]

Wow, what a fun situation to be in! So many possibilities other than violence. That is your testosterone talking. Work it out ahead of time, talk about it with her and try to think of all the funny ways of handling it. I like the "We're lesbians" approach.

Relax and have fun with it and trust that your SO is with the one she wants to be with. I've had SOs hit on right in front of me before while drab and I just stood there with a confident grin. It says to her that you are confident in both her and yourself.

If the guy gets pushy or beligerant, than yeah, feel free to kick off the heals and have a go at him.

-b

[Kimberly]

Go as lesbians :D

Welcome to the forum, from one youngester to another xx

[Michelle 51]

I'm not trying to be funny but the answer to your guestion is the same regardless of who you are or what you wear or where you go.That can happen to any couple .Hopefully if your lucky your so will handle it and you will not have to.These situation's have been going on since cave days uga uga uga plus you really don't want to go to jail looking like jane even if you felt like tarzen for a sec.

[JoAnnDallas]

First remember she is YOUR GF and she will be with you. I would TRUST her to handle the situration. Remember when she is not with you, men may hit on her and she handles it. Also you have options as other have said. Walk away, say no thank you, and etc. There is no need to get confrontionable.

[kathy gg]

Welcome to the forum and it is great that you are with such a cool gf.

I say both parties when are going out and one happens to be a cd, need to keep jealousies in check. Because in the end, you both know who you are going home with....each other. And no one else.

I have been known to let the green monster get to me, espically back when I was new to going out with my hubby dressed as a girl. In time though, I got over it. Now we just find it funny if someone hits on either of us.

Most times a "no thanks..I am here with my spouse" does the job. One does not need to resort to fisty-cuffs. Even in situations where a drunk person or rude/lewd person goes beyond a normal "hitting on" thing...there is always getting management to deal with the person if they get really gross.

Also, as Donna said, chances are your girl has been hit on before and knows how to deal with it. Most women who aren't looking to pick up a guy know how to use the Teflon touch.

Good luck going out!

[x_girl]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

One thing that you may never have thought of is that unless you have poor taste, others will find your gf attractive, just as you do. Don't worry about it. She is with you and it is very unlikely that you were the first to pay her any attention.

[Jestina]

I met my honey at a starbuck this very night.
After a long day of work.
She is a stunning woman so it was no surprise to me that when I walked in she was being chatted up.
I just sat down at the table and smiled.
Then got up to get a coffe.

She said to me "you should have seen his face when he saw 'the Irishman' come in" (Refering to me)

I was amused because I know she loves me and what am I gonna do?

Willy Nelson once wrote in a book, "You can't go around trying to kick everyones ass just because someone pissed you off"

She asked me if I was bothered and I replied with a smile:

By the way...this is the puchline to this post...are you ready?

I said: "If I didn't want othger guys looking at my girlfriend I'd get an ugly one. THen they wouldn't look, they might point and laugh, but they would not look."

Glad I wasn't in a dress for this one, HAHAHA maybe would have had a different effect eh?
I had fun tonight...LOL.

But, do you get it SisBro Kris00?, best relax on this sort of thing and play very cool.
The only reason I don't go out with my GF dressed is I am not totally passable, (Close though if I am a muscular girl)
But apparently "the Irishman" is too rough to be seen in a dress.

We have talked about it though and I do know for sure that I would have the problem you are talking about (Less the punching part.)

My girlfriend is a guy magnet, even guys young enough to be our children!! Like the starbucks guy tonite. (I was actually amused by the scene.)

The difference here is several decades of living of course we are older folks
but mostly it is because I trust her and she knows how to handle guys advances.

You might want to talk to your honey about this and get a plan in place.
Never forget LOVE rules and conquers.


BTW kris00 congratulations on being here so young!!
I was so far in the closet at your age I couldn't even seee a door to come out of!

So that is my 2 bits worth.

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Kriss,

I have a very accepting and participating wife and we often go out in public in the daytime as "two girls" together. Occasionally we go out clubbing/dancing at night at a TG friendly bar that has both gay patrons as well as hetro. Twice it has happened where a guy came over to us and started chatting and I couldn't believe that I apparently was passing so well that he treated me like a a girl and then proceeded to openly hit on my wife right in front of me. He could of course have read me and assumed I was gay and that she was my FH.

Anyway, I do agree with Kathy on this, you have to totally trust your girlfriend and keep your jealousy very much in check. Just continue to pretend that you are girlfriends and let your GF get rid of him in just the same way she would any other guy she didn't like.

In mine and my wife's case both times my wife graciously said "thanks, but no thanks" and then she held my hand and we walked away to the other end of the club.

[kris00]

wow, thanks for the thoughtful replies everyone, really helped! i guess ill just observe my girlfriend do what shed normally do without her guy.

i guess im just glad to finally be in a place where i can accept that im different, in a good way, have someone to
share "the gift" with, but would hate for it to once again become a source of dread if a time comes when i need to be a "man" but cant cuz of an odd taste in clothing.

[Angela Burke]

You can't go around fighting every guy who looks at or flirts with your girlfriend!
She'll let you know if things go too far. Girls are born with a built in radar for that kind of thing.