Is a crossdresser a crossdresser for life?

[Nicole24]

hi

Has any one or does any one know of a crossdresser who has stopped for good? (by their own choice and are happy with it)

I love crossdressing and have no desire to stop i love the whole feeling of it to much but im just curious.

My question is "is a crossdresser a crossdresser for life?"

[Emma England]

I have never known anyone to stop. It is too enjoyable.

So yes, crossdressing is for life, not just for christmas.

I do not understand why anyone would wish to give up anyway.

[JeanneF]

Considering how many people on here have talked about stopping dressing for a while, especially while in a long term relationship, only to have the urges come back...I'd say yeah, it's a life sentence.

But not necessarily a bad thing...

[LaurenS.]

Unfortunately it is. I say unfortunately becuase I would stop it if I could. I love crossdressing and all the wonderful things that we all receive from it. However I hate the turmoil that it causes in my life. I am so happy for those of you that are able to be completely happy with it. I would love to be able to just live a "normal" life. Now please don't everyone get upset about me using the word "normal". Relax, you all know what I mean. Dressing makes me very happy at times and I'm trying to embrace it and accept that it's who I am and enjoy it and all that but I would rather it was not in my life. I guess it's silly to say that because it is and there isn't anything I can do about it but it is how I feel.
Hugs
Lauren:straightface:

[anilparmar]

Yes, I am a new member who has joined this forum. Despite my all efforts, I have not been in a position to stop the urge to crossdress. On the contrary, more I try to stop, more I do it.

[Kelsy]

I am afraid so or should I say happy to say it is ( life long ) started dressing at age ten trying to repress, purge, deny, 51 now and it is still a part of me only difference now is I'm learning to accept it and myself!

huggs Jennifer:be:

[soccervixen]

I think we all have the power to change if we want to ... if not, then are we no more than just victims, or slaves? If so then we are not living in freedom.

I have just begun after 47 years - so that is a change!

[suanne]

I am sixty and I really think it is for life. Just wish I had back some of the cool things I got rid of through the years. :( In all those years I have never heard of someone who stopped forever. I gave up on stopping. Why bother unless you enjoy shopping. It is cheaper to just keep your nice things and forget about purging.

Suanne

[discovery]

I also believe we have the power to change. My question is if it is revealed to you through whatever channesls that you are have an affinity for painting (expressing innate feelings) do you suppress it or embrace it?

If you have an innate appreciation for soft feminine elements in your life do you EXPRESS them or suppress them?

Me thinks that all suppression (not good) eventually exhibits itself in other ways (not so good) while a healthly expression (good thing assuming a balanced perspective) builds self-esteem and helps us develope into the WHOLE being we were designed to be.

Started at 48 and, as I mentioned to my wife, I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THOSE TIGHTIES WHITIES (she actually laughed at that)
Taken in balance I feel this is a most healthy element.

[Jenny Beth]

I haven't lived my whole life yet but so far there aren't any signs of it going away, I wouldn't want it to anyway!

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I agree with most of the girls here. Cross dressing is for life. But the funny thing for me is that the older I get the greater the urge. I think this is a fantastic gift to be nurtured and enjoyed.

Hugs

Sasha Anne

[Penny]

I think we all have the power to change if we want to ... if not, then are we no more than just victims, or slaves? If so then we are not living in freedom.

I have just begun after 47 years - so that is a change!

A agree in part with what you are saying. We all have the power to change how we think, what we feel and how we behave. However, we do not have
the power to change who we are. We also don't have the power to change
society, only those with whom we come in contact.
Crossdressing is lifelong because that for the most part is how we were born. Once you have experienced that pretty feeling that can only be achieved by wearing feminine clothing, you are hooked because it is a need and achievable in no other way.
As for freedom, that is a relative word. Freedom from ridicule from others, it that our goal? Imposssible! Or must we be free to change our own thinking about who we are and what we do?
The pain we inflict upon ourselves is a result of how we were brainwashed to think and how we feel about it. This internal conflict will continue to haunt a crossdresser until thinking and feeling are united. But reguardless of how much crossdressing is exposed outside of the closet, crossdressing in our lifetime will always mean at best freedom in a cage!

[tall_brianna]

I think asking on here is probably not going to give you a good demographic cross section. Sorta like the preacher asking the choir if they love god.

I have tried twice about an hour each time to find research data or publications on crossdressing recidivism that clearly shows there is no escape. I can't find it. I don't know if it's 99.9% or 60% percent never stop and I think you'll find everyone currently replying to this thread is in the group that can't quit.

If anyone knows of a credited study or publication on the subject, that would be awesome. Just because we can't quit doesn't me others haven't.

-b

[Angela Burke]

Speaking personally yes.
I couldn't imagine myself not being a MTF CDr.
But then I suppose it's within the bounds
of possibility?
Yeah
Tonight at noon maybe!

[carolinecd]

Yes, I am a new member who has joined this forum. Despite my all efforts, I have not been in a position to stop the urge to crossdress. On the contrary, more I try to stop, more I do it.

i have to agree, i too have tried to stop as my wife was not particularly understanding. but i feel the need more and more as time goes on.

caroline

[Nicole24]

The impression i get from your responses is the feeling only gets stronger. im 22 and feel very strongly now. god only knows what i'll feel like in 10 years lol

[Kimberly]

it's not a "thing" "for life"... you are a crossdresser. You never stop being a crossdresser -- it's a way of being, a perspective on the world - whether you're active or not.

xx

[Krystenw]

I was watching every bodies favorite shrink (Dr. Phil) and he was saying something to one of his gests that had a spouse that liked to cross dress and he told her to just get used to it because it wasn't ever going to go away.

[soccervixen]

Well, I'm new, so you'll have to excuse my ignorance, but I think saying you have to be one way all your life is just not right. There seems to be good evidence medically that people are born with an alcoholic gene - that is, there is a biological imprint on them to be alcoholics. Yet there are 1000's of alcoholics who have changed, who do not drink, and they not only abstain from the behavior, they no longer have a desire - I know some. To say they could not change something which they wanted to (because the behavior was self-destructive, or oppressive, or enslaving) is to be only a victim.

If crossdressing is self-destructive, then by all means, change! If it is not, then enjoy it - but do it freely.

[Jenny586]

It is a lifetime thing, I have tried to 'quit', but that was a waste of time and money. If I could I would just because it would be better for my wife as she does not really understand and does not want to see. So on that note, I will quit for good on the second Tuesday of next week!!:D

[Karren H]

Yes. I have friend locally that used to crossdress and got caught and it caused a divorce and messed up his life. So he quit and hasn't dressed in a decade.. And another who has local ties that said he wasn't that good at it so he quit.. Both still consider themselves CD admirers.. To some extent or another. And I chat with them both weekly... Neither plans to ever dress again...

Wheather they can or not.....

Love Karren

[Gretchen]

I no longer have any illusions that I could stop, permanently, if I really wanted to, or "had to" for whatever reasons.
The real issue for me is to control those urges and cravings that are currently answered maybe 3 times per week. I have come to better accept my CDing in the past two years. I realize that there is no way that I can just "will" this very powerful urge and drive to go away, even on a one day at a time basis. Balance, acceptance, understanding and emotional growth seem to be almost as important to me as enjoying the dressing as much as I am able.
Gretchen

[wendy]

crossdressing for life ? physicall yes, you can 'stop', but mentally, no.

After i moved out of my parent and started living with my g/f, I thought I could stop cold turkey. I purged my entire collection (i had some wonderful vintage 80s clothing like leotards, those 80s aerobic wear, and some gorgeous bodyshapers). I was doing fine for a few months, but when the g/f started to take evening classes the urge hit me hard, i started to dig thru her panties and began wearing them.

Not too long after, I began buying lingerie/women's wear again. I have now built back up a nice collection of women's wear. I've gone thru long stretches where I couldn't physically wear women's clothes, but that doesn't mean mentally I didn't think about it.:D

[Courtney A Anderson]

I whould say yes...

[crossing-the-rain]

I was not an active cross dresser ,I used to dress up when I was very depressed or up set.Stopped CD nearly 20 years,during these 20 years,I thought about CD not more than 10 times.But CD again from few years ago ,"getting " worse" or I should say " deeper" now,I even think of kissing a man,this is unbelievable,still wonder why ? 20 years ... after 20 years ,CD started again.so my answer is "YES" !
Rain.

[Glenda58]

Once you have started crossdressing you can't stop. You may think you did but sometime somewhere something will happen. Touching something soft and silky, seeing a dress or skirt at you use to ware, or a feeling that as a male doesn't feel right but dress it's OK.
I have purged many times in life. Gone years without dressing. And it comes back just as strong as when I stopped.
Now at 59 I just let it happen. Some days It's panties only other times it's to the nines. It's like any drug addiction once a addict always a addict.

[Lisa Maren]

Is crossdressing for life?

Is the crossdressing purely for the sake of the clothes (meaning no feminine identification whatsoever)? Then it's just a behavior and can be stopped.

Is there some degree of feminine identification? Then it works differently. In these cases, the crossdressing is merely the outer manifestation of inner femininity. It is possible to stop the crossdressing behavior, but the femininity is forever, and I really don't consider stopping to be an option because the individual is then forced to keep his femininity bottled up in his strictly male existence and that is simply no way to live. For these cases, my own personal theory is that it is possible to stop crossdressing, but not happily.

Hugs,
Lisa

[Dee Model]

Yes. Anyone who believes otherwise is in denial.

[DeeInGeorgia]

After years of lack of physical affection, lack of friends to play with, years of being insulted and teased by boys and girls, being turned down by girls I asked out, not seeing an ounce of interest in my dates eyes, etc., the emotional scars deep all the way to the core.

The pain can ebb and recede, but like a badly set broken bone, the person I am cannot be changed without more pain and suffering at en exceedingly deep level leading to something that may be more damaged than at present.

Morbidity aside, to stop crossdressing means changing my soul at the deepest of levels. Is it worth the risk to health and life? Right now, not for me!

[sophie69]

Absolutely..... you can try and stop, but it keeps coming back!

[ElleCD]

Yes its for life but like any aspect of personality the desire can be It can be suppressed with enough will or motivation. This usually comes from some form of lack of acceptance so why give in to it?

Elle
XX

[Sweet Jane]

I agree with everyone here...somehow when my brain was "wired" I got a little bit extra...a female connection too...

I have gone without dressing for years, but then I just get the urge and drift back into it. Then it's more"necessary" to dress than ever before. I now know that it's my life sentence and somedays, I'm really happy about that, but other days it just gets me down. Maybe I just haven't fully accepted who I am, even though I have been wearing clothes of the opposite sex for about forty years!!

So yeah, get used to it....you can shelve it for a while, maybe you can force yourself not to put womens clothes on, but inside your head you will be wishing to get dressed. I think we are all crossdressers for life, for better or worse.

[Phoebe Reece]

I think this question is sort of like asking someone who is left-handed if they will be left-handed for life. They might be able to learn to write and do other things right-handed, but that doesn't make them any less left-handed.

[MJ]

i would have to say no. you got this for life thing. cding is a part of you and i have found no data on this issue

[klyde]

I haven't dressed in years, i'm not sure why I just haven't. But I consider myself a crossdresser or a transvestite I'm not sure. Although I don't dress the desire is still there sort of like smoking. I quit smoking decades ago but occasionally I can feel the warm relaxing cigarette smoke in my lungs. Sometimes I can draw on the good feelings I had while dressing.

[loki_uk]

Yup it's for life and I want to grow old disgracefully flashing my knickers at all the grannies when I get put in a home

They can take my freedom, but they'll never take my knickers

[vbcdgrl]

Yes, I would say, once a CD, always a CD. The deep down desire will never go away. Some people might be able to suppress this desire through their entire life, but I think they are probably a small minority of the CD population.
It's an addiction!!!

Vikki

[Tamasina]

I would have to say me its for life. As far as I know that is and for right now most definitely.

[carend_99]

In one word, YES. Some people say they can stop, but anyone that has ever tried, always start again.

[Lauren Richards]

Only information I have is that of my own experience. Yes, for life.

I would not want to draw any precise conclusions from this poll, however, as probably the vast majority of those on the site are active or dormant phase (I just made that up, but feel free to adopt it as I think it is very descriptive of how most crossdressers experience the phenomena) crossdressers. Those who may have quit likely are doing something else on-line right now. I do think that for the most part, cross dressing is deep enough within us that it does not go away; it is just expressed differently depending on emotions, situations and support.

Lauren

[Angie G]

I hope soI love it and my wife lets my :hugs:
Angie

[DAVIDA]

If it were not for life, I would not be sitting here in a skirt, top ,and heels.
Any way, Jean says it's who I am.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

A friend of mine knows a couple people who've stopped for various reasons.

The thing is, they rarely made grand proclaimations about quitting, rather they usually just faded quietly from the scene.

The main thing is, whatever your decision is, it's one that you're comfortable with.

[Blonde]

Anyone who says they've quit, I bet they still think about it , but refuse to admit it.

[ReginaK]

Being a crossdresser is like an being an alcoholic.

Even if you quit, all it takes is one little mishap to send you spiraling back.

[RachelDenise]

We all go through stages of dressing relative to our life situations. I don't dress as often nor as fully as I would like at present due to my family life, but I know it could change and then so would my dressing. But quit? Never.

[Kate Simmons]

Not necessarily but maybe.:happy: Thinking about it, if I even went to the point of transitioning to a female, I would probably crossdress in guy clothes. That's me though. I would probably do it just because people would expect me to dress like a woman. The original rebel, right? Who? Me?:heehee: Ericka/Rich

[Brenda_fish]

Most men are sexually attracted to women, some are sexually attracted to other men. I am the former but never made a conscious "choice" to like women and I doubt the latter make such choices. It's not a perfect analogy, but I doubt few CDs made a choice to like women's clothes, it is just who they are. You might be able to stop doing it (for a variety of reasons), or even avoid thinking about it most of the time but I suspect the feelings for CDing are still there, deep down, and never really go away.

:2c:

Love,
Brenda

[Jaydee]

I'll throw in my:2c:
It seems to me that it is something that stays with you for life. It may go into remission for a while, in my case over 10 years, but I do not think it will go away. I am still trying to come to grips with this myself.

Jaydee

[Vivian Best]

I have read that you can stop crossdressing if: you are very young with professional help AND that you are highly motivated to stop!

I'll soon turn 67 and CDing has been with me since I was 5 or 6. As you can see by my age, I go back a long ways. I lived a life of misery, anger and frustration wondering what was wrong with me. Why was I the only boy that liked girl's clothing. Was I pervert? Was there something wrong with me? What if I was caught? Why wasn't I a girl? Was I destined to become one? Now, given that motivation, don't you think I would have quit if I could!

Knowledge helps! I know none of my fears were born out and I'm very comfortable with my feminine side now.

[Billie Jean]

The only crossdresser I know for sure is me and I have been all my life. I don't want to stop its too much fun. Billie Jean

[Shelly Preston]

I hate to say this but I would be surprised if there was anyone who tried to give up and kept posting here

Yes I do think it si possible you just won't here about it.