When sales assistants embarrass you... [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Cristi

11-03-2006, 04:19 PM

I'm never embarased....more often if anyone is embarased its the SA.....and that doesn't happen very often any more!! But it is fun to play with their minds!!! :).

Love Karren

I need more 'amunition' to have on hand to use for when this happens... give me some ideas about how you might play with their minds!

Right now, I just smile and continue on my way, but I'd LOVE to be able to turn the tables somehow and make the SA feel uncomfortable for her actions.

Priscilla Ann

11-03-2006, 04:28 PM

I believe the only way to be embarrassed is to care what the sales assistant thinks of you. Usually, the sales assistant is a stranger. When it comes right down to it why should give that person the power to embarrass you? I think one time a sales clerk was ringing up a bra and thong set for me and asked "Are thes e for you?" I said, "No, they are a present for my grandmother."....She didn't say anything else.

JoAnnDallas

11-03-2006, 04:33 PM

The other day I stopped at the local Walgreens to pickup some comestics. This SA walked up and asked if I need any assistance in a loud voice. I told her I need some foundation. I was l already holding some eye shadow and lipstick. She looked at me and quitely asked if those was for me. I said yes, she then cleared her throat and in a quiter voice said " Well lets see what we have that matches your skin tone". We looked and chatted away about how this or that foundation covers better and how they come in different prices. When we found all that I needed, she said " I can check you out over here". she checked me out and said "Have a nice evening". I thanked her and left.

LindaG

11-03-2006, 04:34 PM

one time a sales clerk was ringing up a bra and thong set for me and asked "Are thes e for you?" I said, "No, they are a present for my grandmother."....She didn't say anything else.[/QUOTE]

I like that one I hope to be able to use it one day. One time I was buying vasoline for my wife and the lady behind the counter snapped at me, is this for you? so I actully snapped back not its for my wife. is that ok with you.

Kelsy

11-03-2006, 04:43 PM

Olive

Vasoline??? when did it become a crime to buy vasoline. That's not a gender specific item is it?? IMO that woman's mine was in the gutter!:D

Jennifer

Bunny_B

11-03-2006, 04:45 PM

are you kidding? Sales assistants really shouldn't ask any sort of question like that. I don't think you'd get that sort of thing in the UK, they'd probably just avoid eye contact and then tell all their workmates as soon as you're gone.

LindaG

11-03-2006, 04:53 PM

no its not a crime but sometimes people have a chip on thier shoulder.
holloween night when I bought some things for myself I could tell by the way she was looking at me she wanted to say something

Angela E.

11-03-2006, 05:01 PM

I agree with Priscilla Ann.You can`t be embarassed unless you care what the s.a. thinks. I know it can be very scary when you first start to buy clothing makeup etc.But don`t let these idiots intimidate you.Really it`s their problem. Love,Angela E.:hugs:

linnea

11-03-2006, 05:15 PM

I agree with those respondents who have said that it only matters if you care about the SA's opinion. I used to care, but I don't any more. I've used the "it's for my wife/grandmother/daughter/friend, etc." But now, if I really felt hassled, I would ask to speak with a manager. Most shops want satisfied customers regardless of gender preferences. If you're shopping and not doing anything that is immoral or illegal--crossdressing or buying items for crossdressing is neither--than you have every right to expect and get the same courtesy as any other customer gets. If you don't, then you have a right to complain. Of course, this may call attention to you and you may not want that, so you have to decide if it's worth that. My experience has been very good when I've just selected what I want or asked for assistance to find what I want, SA's are usually very helpful and not in the least derogarory (not to my face--either of them, femme or not).

AprilMae

11-03-2006, 05:26 PM

Any Sales Person who gives any kind of static to a paying customer is not very bright. You have the ultimate word. Put your money away, leave the items on the counter and walk out of the store, perhaps after telling the manager why you changed your mind on a sale.

tightsgirl

11-03-2006, 05:34 PM

I have gotten so much better at buying clothes and rarely get any negative looks or remarks, of coarse I'm careful about which places I purchase from.

Brianna Lovely

11-03-2006, 05:48 PM

I find sometimes like today, when assistants embarrass and tease me for buying fem items I hate it and cannot wait to leave the store, yet other times I find it quite a buzz and love it.

Anyone else find this too?

I did have a young SA in WM make a comment about my nails when I was checking out.
The conversation went something like this:
SA "Why do you have your nails colored?"
BL "Because I like them this way".
SA "I bet you have a wig too".
BL "Yes, honey, I have a wig and dresses, skirts, panties and bras too".

The SA's mouth slowly dropped open as I spoke and she was blushing, then she regained her composure and handed me my receipt, and stammered "have a nice day".

I too have had good experiences with SAs in WalGreens, they've always been very helpful and discreet.

trannie T

11-03-2006, 05:55 PM

I am not ashamed to be a crossdresser. When I buy women's clothing while I rarely announce that it is for me I do not deny it either. SA's have commented that it is nice of me to buy something for my wife, I have then told them it is for myself. If you are up front and honest with the SA's they will either be very happy to help you or be so embarrassed that they will say nothing.

jennig

11-03-2006, 05:58 PM

It always seems to be the older woman that treat us like leperds theay just dont understand the world today. when I run into the rude saleperson I ask them why/ DO YOU STAY IN A JOB THAT YOU ARE SO BAD AT. and just waite for a answer that seems to shut them up.
huggs jennig:2c:

Lisa Marie

11-03-2006, 06:09 PM

Sometime's dont you wish SA's would just do their job and keep their mouth shut? I do that's why I mostly purchase stuff online. I get to nervous to buy alot of women's stuff while out. That's why I keep a P.O. Box handy.

Jillian310

11-03-2006, 07:52 PM

I must have been born without an embarass gene, nothing embarasses me! If I feel that a salesperson is the least bit out of line, I pepper them with endless questions about the products, the department, and whatever else I can think of to make them sweat a little. On the other hand, those jerks are few and far between in my experience, shopping both en femme and en drab.

EricaCD

11-03-2006, 08:08 PM

Well lord knows I was born with an embarrass gene, but at the same time I have never had the first problem shopping for fem clothes, makeup or whatever - whether in drab or femme. Maybe I am just lucky?

Jasmine Ellis

11-03-2006, 08:13 PM

never be embarrass to a sales assistant. you are buying an item in that shop, nothing else, they should ring up that item take your money bag it and say thank you.
they are there to sale clothes not to embarrass you. The next time when it happens ask her whats the differents in men buying womens clothes and women buying mens clothes. And say it loud enough for the hole shop to hear you. Then see who would be embarrass.

Nike

11-03-2006, 09:01 PM

Many Sales Associates receive comissions and/or bonuses based on sales $$$. I have found that many are happy to serve us, if for no other reason than the simple fact that a CD will spend money with PEOPLE who treat them well. Obviously, in thrift stores, we're not going to be dealing with Rhodes Scholars, so being mindful of where we are in addition to being comfortable with who we are will make moving through the interactions more fluid and stress free.

When in doubt, smile and be kind. It often disarms passive-aggressive hostility, which is the only type of aggression we will ever experience from a sales associate. They like and/or need their jobs far more than they need to assault that which they may not understand.

Robertacd

11-03-2006, 09:33 PM

Only one time have I had one say anything. I was a Kmart and was getting a pair of womans jeans I also grabbed a cute pink top and a bra in my size off the clearence rack. After she was done ringing me up and saying the usual "thank you for shopping at Kmart" she handed me my bag and said "you are going to look cute in you new outfit" :heehee:

I just smiled and said "I know, thank you".

thea

11-03-2006, 09:52 PM

If the SA is rude, I second the comment that you should consider asking to see the manager. I'm not sure what I'd say to the manager, maybe something along the line of, "This salesclerk was rude to me, I can only assume it's because she doesn't think I should be a customer at YOUR store. You've lost a sale AND a customer today, and I'll be sure to tell my friends about the poor treatment here and that you'd rather have the right people than good sales." Then leave the items on the counter and leave. If it were me, I'd be tempted to refuse the manager's first attempt at apologizing in the form of a discount, for it's not about the money, it's about the people.

Melinda G

11-03-2006, 10:15 PM

The only time I get embarrassed is when the SA is a foxy chick, and my guy feelings start kicking in.:D

I usually look around for some old lady SA, whose opinion doesn't matter to me.

Rachel Morley

11-03-2006, 10:28 PM

Sales assistants trying to embarrass me?...:confused: I suppose it could happen, but this has never happened to me (yet).

Stephenie S

11-03-2006, 10:45 PM

Girls, 99% of your embarrassment is in your head. Some SA are good, some are not. Some SA are pleasant, some are not. Some are having a good day, some are not.

Your assumption that you are doing something shameful is where your embarrassment is comming from. Not from the behavior of the SA. There are no embarassing questions if you KNOW that there is no reason to feel quilty about what you are doing. Get your mind around that concept and you will be fine.

CDing is neither illegal, imoral, or fattening. All you are doing is BUYING something. That's definately not illegal or imoral. You have EVERY right to buy ANYTHING you want at ANY time. You are the one with the money. They want it. Actually, I think it may illegal NOT to sell you something that you want. Isn't the store entering into an implicit contract to sell just by offering the merchandise to the public?

Well, anyway, you HAVE to realize that the embarrassment is all in your head. They don't care what you buy. They want you to buy. That's how they pay their bills. Just because the SA is a jerk, don't get all bent out of shape. You will always run into idiots and dummies all your life. Don't assume that the SA idiotic remarks are aimed just at you because of what you are buying. A good SA will work very hard to help you spend all your money. Poor ones are poor ones to EVERYONE, not just you.

Lovies,
Stephenie

Debb

11-03-2006, 10:48 PM

Honestly, I think that most of the time that I feel I'm getting the "evil eye", I am imagining it.

If a SA questions me in any way about my purchases, I try to remember that this is also a living, breathing, feeling, person in front of me; I try to think of it as an opportunity to be forgiving and gracious.

I do not do these things because they are the way a "proper" lady behaves; I do these things because I believe that it is important to have respect for all humans.

I realize this sounds kind of high-and-mighty .. and I apologize if it's taken that way. I have dealt many times with people condemning me that I just want to have empathy instead of continuing down the path of disrespect.

Brianne_bc

11-03-2006, 11:03 PM

I was embarassed in a store once.... was going to drop well over a hundred dollars on lingerie... havent spent a dime there

Jadeanne

11-03-2006, 11:07 PM

I may have posted here before about the only time a sales clerk gave me a hard time:

At my wife's suggestion I was looking in a high end dept store (Lord and Taylor) during a sale for lingerie for her for our 25th anniversary, looking at bra and panty sets.

I asked her if they had a certain set in my wife's size, and the clerk just steered me toward the nightgowns, saying that she would like them better.

That was over 4 years ago and I never went back.

I have bought clothing, etc. for my wife for over 29 years and myself for over 4 1/2 years and that was the only incident.

Jadeanne

DeeArel

11-04-2006, 08:16 AM

I love it when asked by a SA who I am buying for. Over the years, I have bought for a few wifes and several girlfriends in addition to my self. No matter who I am buying for, the answer is always the same.

Everything I buy is for me, but that does not mean I will be the one wearing it.

SherriePall

11-04-2006, 08:33 AM

Most of the times I have bought clothing either for myself (and many times telling the SA that) or my wife, I have had no problems.
About the only grief I have received was several years ago before Halloween. I went into a high end local clothing store and was looking at some items in the Junior Department when an older SA came over and, after I said I was looking for me for Halloween, she told me I was looking in the juniors and that the women's and misses were across the aisle.
Pardon me, but I like some of the junior styles! But I went along with the program and followed her. She made a couple of comments about how much I was looking to spend, etc., which were not worded the way most other SA's do when helping out.
I commented later about this to a GG SA friend of mine and she said that store could be a bit snooty. No wonder, I thought, because I was dressed that day in my work uniform (it was clean and neat). I guess the next time I go there I have to wear my suit and tie. Yea, right!

Adrienne Heels

11-04-2006, 11:34 PM

Most SA's in better stores are very nice and helpful....I think they are fascinated by CDs

I was in Lord & Taylor yesterday in drab and asked an older SA about size 11 pumps. she brought out 3 pair, none of which were what I was looking for. When I said thank you and was about to leave, she gave me a smile and wink and said "you're welcome, dear." That made me feel so nice.