I'm a chicken

[susancheerleader]

I haven't had the guts to go in public dressed up. So I was looking forward to Halloween as a chance to do so.
I got myself all cleaned up, shaved, and dressed to the nine on Halloween night.
I was looking forward to going to the local "watering hole" but at the last minute I chickened out. I just couldn't do it.
What a shame. It really could have been fun too. And all I had to do was say "It's Halloween." as an excuse why I was dressed like a lady.

[suzy]

It is a scary experience....Why not try going out where no one knows you? I think that will be an easier way to handle going out until you became more accustomed to it...?:2c:

[Scotty]

Don't feel bad, I waited till the last minute and only a couple kids saw me dressed and that was STILL scary, I was shaking LOL

I think the key is, and this is what I will do when the time comes, is to find other TG's or CD's and go out with them. I definitely plan on doing that, no way I'll go out alone.......not to mention it's an hour to Seattle, sure don't want to go alone!!

[trannie T]

Several years ago I went to my local watering hole en femme on Halloween. I had a great time as did everybody else, the only feedback I got was a guy telling me about the ugly woman he saw on halloween. It is really hard going out for the first time I went to a support group in another city for my first time, they were very accepting and friendly. Good luck in getting out of your closet.

[Amy Hepker]

I am sorry you didn't make it out. I hope that you will take the chance someday. Halloween is the best time, but if you can pass, anytime is a good time. The more people the better. People are less likely to say anything if there are a bunch of people around. They don't want to be made an ass if they were wrong.

[sue_donim]

Don't beat yourself up over it. Just see it as a slight hiccup and be more determined. Then next time you have a reason/chance grasp the oppertunity with both hands. Once you've done it the first time you'll want to do it again and again.

Why not try going to a tri ess meeting and aranging a trip out with some of the other girls.

Hugs Sue_donim

[Rachel Morley]

Not a chicken at all. It takes courage to go out in public dressed as a woman even on Halloween and especially on your own. I agree with Sue's comment about finding a Tri-Ess meeting and getting support from other CDs. I know Tri-Ess (Beaumont Society is the UK version) isn't everyone's type of community but I've found our Sacramento chapter to be very friendly, sociable, and very helpful when it comes having a place to go out to when you're all dressed up with no place to go....or you want to go out to a place that is going to give a "soft landing" should you "fall". :happy:

[EricaCD]

Susan - don't fret. This is not a test! If you feel a desire or compulsion to get out, then by all means do so! If not, then so what?

Erica

[Melinda G]

I think about this a lot. What is it, that we fear?
I got all shaved, and dressed, and ready to go out Halloween. I have been out many times after dark, but never in the daylight. Well, Halloween, I went out around 3:00, and drove up to the local supermarket and parked on the edge of the lot. There were people everywhere, coming and going. I kept sitting there waiting for the right moment to get out, but people kept pulling in and out of the lot. Finally, I said to myself, "you got all dressed, and drove up here. Are you just going to sit here, and leave". I just opened the car door, and got out, with my purse over my shoulder, and started walking through the neighborhood. There were lots of people out raking leaves and doing yard work. Nobody seemed to notice. A couple people looked my way, and went on with what they were doing. I walked about a mile through the neighborhood, and back to the car. It felt great. If anyone had said anything, I would have just smiled and said, "Happy Halloween", or "trick or treat".
I'm not sure what we fear. Maybe embarrassment, or ridicule. Hard to say. Maybe we fear being labled "gay" or "queer". Crossdressing is still considered strange behavior to many people. But even if they suspect you are a man, it is not against the law to crossdress.
And assault is still against the law, regardless of what you are wearing. And most people will not say anything, even if they suspect you may be a man, because they may be wrong, or you may be in transition, or they are just polite. Probably the worst you can expect, is a funny look, or snicker, unless you are in a really bad area, in which a little common sense goes a long way.
As the old saying goes, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself".

[ShannonDragon]

Something else to consider, think about going to one of the major conventions like IFGE or Southern Comfort. There is safety in numbers.

Also check out to see if there is a local support group in your area. They usually have safe meeting areas with fellow soul mates.:2c:


:tongueout

[Rachel Morley]

Crossdressing is still considered strange behavior to many people. But even if they suspect you are a man, it is not against the law to crossdress. And assault is still against the law, regardless of what you are wearing. And most people will not say anything, even if they suspect you may be a man, because they may be wrong, or you may be in transition, or they are just polite. Probably the worst you can expect, is a funny look, or snicker, unless you are in a really bad area, in which a little common sense goes a long way. As the old saying goes, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself".
I quoted this because I wanted to really say that I think Melinda has "hit the nail on the head". This is exactly to the letter what I think, and exactly to the letter what I have personally experienced. Sometimes we are our own worse enemies. You the girl Melinda!:D

[pantyhose lover]

no worries, there will always be other opportunities. And you're not alone. I"m sure if/when I go out in public with other people for the first time, I will be scared out of my mind too

[Debb]

I think Melinda G has the right idea.

I am convinced, more than ever, that it is our own self-talk that convinces us to "chicken out". I say that, having "chickened out" any number of times.

susancheerleader, it is damn hard to go out in public. The human fear of rejection / need for safety is extremely strong .. and it goes into overdrive when we consider going against the norm.

No worries, you will go out if/when the drive to do so becomes overwhelming. I can vouch for that.

Strangely, I have always felt safer alone than when I am in a group .. except when I crossdress. Going out alone, dressed up as a girl, is really stressful, and if there is any way you can find even one other person to go out with you, do it. Having someone else means you will automatically outnumber 80 percent of the people who might otherwise cause trouble when they realize you're not quite what your outer appearance indicates.

It can be quite a blow to realize that your self-reliance runs and hides when you dress up and consider stepping outside your closet. Take it slow, and realize that self-acceptance plays a part.

Beth

[Melinda G]

Going out with someone, may be good advice. But if you are in the closet, and no one knows about your little hobby, then you go out alone, or you don't go out.
I've been single for many years, and I go to a lot of singles dances. There have been several girls at the dances from time to time, that might be crossdressers. But no one ever says anything, or bothers them. A couple guys asked one of them to dance, sort of on a dare. Another guy asked one of them to dance, not knowing she was a guy. Her voice must have given her away, because he left in a hurry, with a red face.
A couple times, a friend said to me, "did you see that girl,". "I think it was a guy". Actually, I hadn't even noticed. But nobody bothers them. And they dress better than the real women!:D Maybe that's why the women notice them first.

[Courtney A Anderson]

I know it's hard, I know it's scary, But once you get passed all that and get out there, their's no greating feeling in the world.

[Chiana]

I haven't had the guts to go in public dressed up. So I was looking forward to Halloween as a chance to do so.
I got myself all cleaned up, shaved, and dressed to the nine on Halloween night.
I was looking forward to going to the local "watering hole" but at the last minute I chickened out. I just couldn't do it.
What a shame. It really could have been fun too. And all I had to do was say "It's Halloween." as an excuse why I was dressed like a lady.

I am chicken also. But somehow, on a couple of few and far between occasions I have gone out. I don't know how I got the courage. One was halloween 2 years ago. I received some fantastic compliments. But I am still chicken and haven't gone out since.

[trannie T]

I've never chickened out, never.
Well, maybe once, but it was a long time ago.
Well, maybe a couple of times.
Well, maybe a few times.
To be honest, a whole bunch of times, but it does get easier and easier.

[Melinda G]

Just a guess here, but I think we fear embarrassment and ridicule, more than an actual physical assault. But if you are wearing makeup, and a wig, even if someone decides you might not be a woman, they still don't know who you are. What's the worst that can happen. A snicker. A comment. Probably not even that.

[Billijo49504]

Hi Susan, You just haven't built up the confidence yet. Might I suggest going thru the drive thru of the late night Micky D's, and then go to a Seven 11 for a Slurpee, late at night and then try something in the daylight. Lane Bryant stores and Avenue stores are very CD friendly.....BJ

[Barb Valentine]

I say don't beat yourself up over it
You have to be comfortable in order to enjoy yourself
And there's always next year
(Don't feel bad I'm a chicken too)
:hugs: