is it easer for you ?

[MJ]

hi there
my question is :- is it easer for you ?. going from female to male. the reason is i am male to female and to be honest wow it's the hardest thing i have ever done. at first after all i have all my male attributes to cover up/hide. if you have been blessed with breast it must be painful to tape or hide ..
may i have your thoughts on this ? thank you

PS.. all f2m or m2f can add there input thanks... hugs

[CaptLex]

Good question, Marissa . . .

I think we each (MtFs and FtMs) usually see it as "the grass is always greener on the other side". In other words, we usually believe that the other group has it easier than us, and each side really has difficulties - though different ones.

For example, I wasn't "blessed" with breasts (as you say). I was cursed with them because I never wanted them (even before I realized I'm trans) and it's going to be difficult and expensive to get rid of them (I wish they could just shrink on their own by ingesting hormones).

Since you asked . . . yes, binding is uncomfortable or painful (how much probably depends on how much you have to begin with). The binders are synthetic, so they make me sweat (even on a cool day), they sometimes restrict my breathing, and they can cause all kinds of health problems by blocking circulation. But most of us endure them because it's still better than the alternative.

On the other side of the fence, I wish I was "blessed" with a different part of the anatomy that bio-men take for granted, and I know I'll never really be able to have it. So, from my view, it's not looking easy on this side at all.

I hope I didn't give anyone the impression that I think being trans is all bad news. Actually, I feel fortunate that I'm able to see things from both sides - something most people will never be able to do.

[Abraxas]

I am of the opinion that any situation is only as difficult as you think it is.
I honestly never found transitioning all that difficult-- I have, however, been dressed as a boy since I was about 8. Of course, girls wearing boys' clothes is generally more societally acceptable, so that part is easier. As for the stigma and the prejudice, I'd say that's equally difficult for either. And binding is probably more difficult than tucking (more to hide, and in a more obvious place).
So, each side has its own difficulties, I suppose, but if you go at it with the right frame of mind, its always going to be easier than if you're convinced you're going to fail from the start. If that makes sense.

[Xaff]

Of course, girls wearing boys' clothes is generally more societally acceptable.

I think that's treu.
As a girl there are also girls who have a dressing code with has a very boyish apearence. Last I saw a girl with a whide/low cross pence. The only diffrence between the boys and girls in that subculture are just the hairstyle. But there are indeed much more boys dressed that way, but girls can too.

Morgan,

[Felix]

Yeah I never came to any decisions taking the view the grass is always greener cos in reality it more often than not isn't. I agree with the point that each side has it's own difficulties. I was also blessed or cursed with big 'boobs' and now that my desire to look more manley is stronger then hiding them has been a problem. I did start with bandages but the pain was far too great then I got a chest binding vest and that is great although sometimes it looks like I got a tight sports bra on if I don't get it right which is a pain cos then I feel more self conscious cos I want to pass and that makes me feel that I cann't. So as you can see there are problems when tryin to pass as male as I can appreciate there are many problems trying to pass as female. Good luck with it hun and let us know how you are doing. Felix xx :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

I think it's actually harder for the guys, MJ. Society has a preconceived idea about someone born a genetic female. It is really beyond them why a genetic woman would want to look like a guy. I've experienced both sides (sort of) when as Ericka, I crossdress as Eric. You wouldn't believe some of the snide remarks by people who don't know me and think I'm really a woman trying to look like a guy., so I have some idea (not the whole picture) where the guys are coming from on this. As nutty as it sounds, I think we , as M T F CD's are more readily accepted that the guys are. I mean the "very idea" of a woman wanting to look like and/or be a man."Well, I never" is what the huffy old ladies say. Makes our "dilema" look like "duck soup" in comparison. I'm only speaking from my limited direct personal experience though. I'm sure it's much harder up close and personal. The person inside is the one who counts in my "book" anyway.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Abraxas]

That's very interesting, Ericka.
I'm also now wondering how many others cross-crossdress, ha! I've done it a few times (although it was for an Eddie Izzard lookalike party) . . . It's an interesting thought. I always kinda saw myself wanting to be in the David Bowie area-- a kind of androgynous guy who wears effeminate clothes but is still perceived as male. I tried it once and got read as a girl though. And I was in a gay club. Go figure, huh? :rolleyes:

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Abraxas, I failed miserably the first time I went out as Eric. As Ericka, I've got the feminine walk and moves down so well and dance like a girl. When I tried walking and dancing as a guy, I just couldn't do it, said the hell with it and everyone then knew who I was by my dance style. I was going to do it again this weekend at the club but forgot I was meeting a friend there who was expecting Ericka. Maybe this coming weekend I'll give it another shot. I do it because I want to and because I detest pre-conceived ideas. The person makes all the difference regardless of how they are viewed by others.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[myMichelle]

Just kinda thinking out loud here, but I'd venture to guess that it's probably easier for a guy to put on a bra and silicone breast forms (and even to "tuck") than it is for a girl to bind her breasts. Too bad we all can't just trade parts/pieces...lol

[JenniferMint]

Just kinda thinking out loud here, but I'd venture to guess that it's probably easier for a guy to put on a bra and silicone breast forms (and even to "tuck") than it is for a girl to bind her breasts. Too bad we all can't just trade parts/pieces...lol

What about the face? I kind of think that guys' faces can't pass as girls' faces as easily as the opposite, seeing as a girl's face can also be interpreted as a young guy's face.

Cross-crossdressing... I'm thinking of doing that after I get FFS and have given HRT more time to work. If I get interpreted as female despite wearing 100% guy's clothes, I'll know I'm doing something right!

[MJ]

What about the face? I kind of think that guys' faces can't pass as girls' faces as easily as the opposite, seeing as a girl's face can also be interpreted as a young guy's face.

Cross-crossdressing...
I'm thinking of doing that after I get FFS and have given HRT more time to work. If I get interpreted as female despite wearing 100% guy's clothes, I'll know I'm doing something right!

OK are you not supposed to be dressing 24/7=365 ? has a woman !!

[Kate Simmons]

OK are you not supposed to be dressing 24/7=365 ? has a woman !!Your original question was: Is it easier for the guys here to pass than it is the girls? I would have to say definately not. They have the opposite problems. They have no "bulge" between their legs. They stick out in front where they do not want to. They don't have facial hair which they want. They don't have straight body figures which they want or body hair. Their voices are too high pitched. They get mistaken for lesbians. Sound familiar? Same kinds of problems we have on the opposite side of the coin. From my limited experience criss-cross dressing as Eric, I would say they have just as many problems passing as we do if not more. It's nice to be able to talk to one another about such stuff here on the Forum. Otherwise we'd probably be having shrinks going to shrinks after talking to us.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[CaptLex]

What about the face? . . . seeing as a girl's face can also be interpreted as a young guy's face.
That's usually true in the case of young transguys - although sometimes something else will give them away (voice, hips, etc.). In my case, no matter what else I do, my face always gives me away because it's distinctly feminine - even with facial hair and even with a boy's haircut. I'm sure this is due to my age (45), so many years of female hormones have definitely taken its toll on my face and it's going to take many more years on T than it would a much younger guy to develop masculine facial features (e.g., chin, brow).

[Felix]

Lol! I was laughing at what Ericka said about body form I dinn't think I have ever had a proper female shape I tend to go straight up and down. My partner always says I have a strange shape from the back like a man lol! As for the 'boobs' thats another story cos I was blessed not with big ones and they are not easy to hide lol xx Felix :hugs:

[Taylor105]

I just wanted to add my input as I see it from my side. I would think it would be harder for more MTF because of the deep voice and more manly faces. Body heigth and shoe size too. I sometimes wonder where some of you guys with big feet get your heels. lol I have wondered and have been afraid to ask until now if it hurts to tuck. And when you tuck how do you keep it there? Sorry if the question is too personal. As for me passing? It's hard. I am short, petite (grrr...) and have a small voice. No matter what I do to my body including haircut, packing and binding which I really don't need, I still get seen as a girl. I'm just too tiny and cute. *insert sarcasm*

[Taylor105]

Oh and one more thought....how in the hell can I be taken seriously as a man when I look and sound 13? I am 33 years old!!

[pocoyo]

Sorry if I'm repeating anyone, I've been very naughty and just skim-read the previous answers as I'm in a hurry, trying to multitask (which is hard lol!)

To be honest in a lot of ways I think it's easier for FtM's because if they go on hormones they are basically turning from something that resembles a little boy, to a man.

The bad bits about being FtM are... if you are short, some people think that short or smaller framed men aren't very manly. And of course some types of FtM genital surgery are very difficult and painful etc etc and although some give pretty good results, a lot are a bit naff.

[ZenFrost]

I was watching a show on transpeople the other day and someone on it said that it was so much harder for MtFs than FtMs. I disagree. I think it's just different sides of the same coin...

MtF- too tall
FtM- too short

MtF- voice too low
FtM- voice too high

MtF- have to wear padded bra, have implants, etc.
FtM- have to wear binder, have surgery, etc.

MtF- want to get rid of facial hair
FtM- want to grow facial hair and can't, have to settle for glued on beards

MtF- have to hide bulge in pants
FtM- have to create bulge in pants

MtF- have broad shoulders, narrow waist, and big hands, and want the opposite
FtM- have narrow shoulders, wide waist, and small hand, and want the opposite

The issues are essentially the same, it's just that we are each on the opposite side of things. I think that some things are harder for one than the other, for instance, hair removal can be very painful for MtFs, but on the other side, estrogen comes in a pill or a patch and testosterone comes in a shot and shots hurt more than peeling a sticky patch off. I think that many of the problems are essentially the same, it's just that we're trying for opposite things.

I know that I sure have a hard time of things, it's never been easy for me but I'd rather go through the pain and struggles than have to live as a woman. So yeah, I think it's not any easier (or harder) for FtMs.

[MJ]

hi Zen
thank you for your input, i thought it was easer for f 2 m as it's OK for woman to dress as men and get away with. but i now see i was uninformed .
as you point out it's hard for me at 6'2 in , in heels and i just love heels and i go for the homely avg look for woman that way i don't get the second look but my height gives me away, sometimes.
may i say thank you to all the f2m for helping me understand you better you guys rock ..