Are sales assistants fascinated by crossdressors?

[Jesse69]

Are sales assistants fascinated by crossdressors? Do any of you shop in drag frequently and let the SA's know your a crossdressor? How do they treat you? Do they gather around to take a look at you? - Thst's what they did when I got read at Dillards - haven't gone back in drag yet cuz I'm scared. If they are fascinated with us maybe I'll let myself get read with my voice. It would nice to see what real women think of crossdressers anyway

[Joy Carter]

The only real facinated responce I have had was over the phone with a Jessica London rep. She tried very hard to sell me everything in the catalog. :D But mostly I have had what I call resonalble and professional responces. It would be nice though to have one really get into it with compliments and the soft sell attitude. :D.

[mudanjel]

I was a drycleaning maven for over 12 years and totally into customers and what they wore :D (esp. satin and taffeta :p...heh-heh.)

The clothing care staff I worked with day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year (well, you get the picture :D) could not care less who the hell you are, much less be fascinated by you.

Believe me, your sales associate is more concerned about whether her paper-thin maxi pad is going to leak and is she going to get to her freakin' daycare facility on time to pick up her kid. Again.

The only thing anybody actually noticed was whether certain customers were those of the *JERK* persuation or not, so I think that's what you really have to focus on in that circle.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i have 2 "rules" for me...

1 - i try to look nice and appropriate for where i'm going, so i'm dressed in a nice outfit when i'm at the mall

2 - to mudanjel's point...i'm always nice!!!! i am a golden rule girl

i have talked to many sa's , at makeup counters, buying clothes...they try to sell me credit cards, they say my outfit is cute or that they love the skirt i'm buying...they treat me like a "person"...

one time, i had 3 younger asst's giggling a little and they were trying to get a look at me...i was actually flattered, maybe they werent sure!! LOL...anyway...i turned right into the face of one of them and smiled, and she said "dont mind them!!!! i dont even know them!!!! can i help u with anything??" i just smiled and said just looking!! and she said have a nice day...

now to me thats all part of the fun!! so i say go!!!!! in fact, i think they know me now at macy's so i feel even more comfortable..i'm sure dillards is much the same!

have fun!!

[sandra-leigh]

Are sales assistants fascinated by crossdressors? Do any of you shop in drag frequently and let the SA's know your a crossdressor? How do they treat you? Do they gather around to take a look at you?

I don't often outright say that I'm a crossdresser, but I frequently shop in drag and don't bother even attempting to hide that the clothes are for me.

For example, when I was shopping today:

Me to SA in store #2: "I see you have some zippered blouses over there, but that they are fairly short. I'm looking for a zippered blouse, but it has to be noticably longer" -- as I then point to a little below my belt line to show the length, but at the same time implicitly indicating that the blouse is for me.

Me to SA in store #3: "This blouse is from the Plus size area and I'm looking for it in size 14 (she looks and doesn't find it -- they had sold out). Me: "Oh well, thanks anyhow. This is probably too big for me, but I can try it anyhow."

Me to SA in store #1: ... a whole bunch of things. I've been there before and they even have my femme name in their points system. It's a "Tall Girls" store, which specializes in longer fits; one of the styles she pointed out, she said plainly that "Lots of guys wear this one", so I'm by no means their only male customer. I had spoken about looking for something a bit feminine but which could "pass" (and she know what that meant) -- something that I could wear to the office. In the past I've gone in and spoken of looking for something fairly low cut so I could show some cleavage. And today I indicated that one of the blouses was an okay length, but that it would be too short if I were to put in my larger forms, and she replied immediately, "Yes, if you were to put in something bigger, then that would be too short" -- indicating she's dealt with forms enough to know that bigger forms usually cause blouse hems to lift.
There were various female customers of different ages while I was in the store; none of them made any noticable remark or stare, even when I was sharing the larger (better-lit) mirror in the fitting area.

Answering your question: No, I've never had a group of SA's come over, fascinated by my buying things in drag or otherwise.


BTW,
Store #1, I bought a black "tunic blouse". Because it is all black, the small ridges in it are not very visible, and not so many of them that it couldn't be male. The buttons pattern is a little unusual, but not greatly so. It has about 3" slits at the side bottoms. Untucked, it goes reaches down to a hair above the top of my inner legs. (Tucked in to my pants, it looks okay for 10 seconds but bunches horribly when I move.) It is one of the few things that is really long enough for me! However, depending on how I'm standing and my exact frame of mind, sometimes when I glance down at it, the thought comes to mind that, "It looks like a short dress"; the SA (manager, actually) agreed that probably if I were to wear it as-is to work, that I would be "busted" (i.e., that someone would notice.) (For sure if I left the belt in! :) ) But I bought it anyhow, figuring that I'd find some way to make use of it, getting it slightly shortened if need be -- and figuring that it wouldn't be any problem to wear in public.

Store #3, I bought two of those very crinkly but stretchy poly-rayon short-sleeved pieces, one black and one sort of a dully navy. They are slightly on the short side when left on their own, but they stretch enough to tuck in. Short sleeve is a little unfortunate but they are good for having a bust (since they naturally stretch right over it.)
I also bought a related fabric, possibly the same base material but because it has fewer crinkles it doesn't stretch as much. It is longer sleeved, and is a colour that can look sky-blue-ish to light violet depending on the lighting. Unfortunately I had to go for XL in order to get an acceptable length so it's a bit more flow-y than I would prefer. Looks nice though.
And still at store #3, I bought a black mens' shirt that is... perhaps 1/4" shorter than the tunic. Trying it on made me realize that for the tunic blouse, it isn't the length that is the issue, it is the fact that with the two slits at the bottom, you get a little bit of a flare effect, just enough to give that mental hint of "dress" instead of "shirt"; so possibly just by taming the flare (lightly stitch the slits), it might just look "shirt". The long mens' shirt is protective camoflage of sorts -- If I wear a long black mens' shirt from time to time, then the same-length black shirt that I wear other times must be mens' too, right :)

[Lisa Golightly]

It would seem I only find myself fascinating ;)

[mudanjel]

It would seem I only find myself fascinating ;)


<<sniff>>

[GypsyKaren]

Things SA's think about...

Cash or credit?
When's my next break?
When's quitting time?
Where's my relief?
What should I cook for dinner?
Why did I marry that loser?

Karen

[Brianne_bc]

Ive had some good experiences with SAs in Aldo shoes here in Canada... allways nice. One girl even offered that if i liked i could try them on before i bought them. That is on the times when i say no they are for me... when asked if they are a gift

[psdibe]

I was calling in an order to Landsend one day and as as was ordering the assosiate said the item I was ordering was out of stock and suggested something else. I said i was not sure how it would and if I wanted it. She most have know it was for me and said she the item along with another and it would look good together and suggested that I order it and try. We spoke about a couple of other itmes that she suggested might look good on me. Very nice, very helpful and very supportive. I wish I could speak to her more it was wonderful experence. A number of times while ordering with Landsend or LLbean I have the assoicate has known I was buying for myself never a problem and always supportive.
I guess a sale is a sale, but it is nice to be open. I bet the two stores have an "*" by my name and order number.
Hugs PD

[RachelDenise]

I haven't had any fascination from SA's but one almost did a double take when I said the shopping was for me. About 5 seconds later, her composure returned and it was off to the sales races. In fact, she helped so much, I signed up for a store credit card.

[trannie T]

Sales associates get bored with their jobs just like anybody else, when a man comes in to buy a bra and panty set for himself it makes their job a little more interesting.
One sales associate in a lingerie department tole me she enjoys men as customers, women come in look at everything and may or may not buy something, men come in, buy something quickly and leave.

[Joan_CD]

Just out of curiousity on this, when talking to a SA, how do they react to a male voice en femme? Also, do you get looks from other shoppers when talking to the SA, or looking at items. I went out for the first time with my wife last night for a drive, but she did not want to leave the car for fear I would be seen and someone say something. I always dream about going shopping with her and having a nice lunch together. Would love to hear your responses and thank you.

[Jesse69]

If they hear your male voice when in drag they will read you. Then you can't use the womens rooms for trying on clothes.

[Katie Ashe]

Are sales assistants fascinated by crossdressors? The sincer ones yes; and they are your greatest allies. You can talk to them honestly and openly about almost anything. You can figure out which ones are/not it's pretty easy.

[Crisack]

I manage a womens consignment shop so I can tell you what happens after a man leaves here. My employees giggle about it and then promptly go back to what they were doing. I'm only out to a select few so it's been interesting to hear their comments. Mostly it's a "Whatever floats your boat" kinda attitude because what they did last night, a sick daughter and the cute guy they like are more pressing matters, lol. Our policy in the store is that we don't care who you are or what you're wearing as long as you pay for what you take out the door.

[Adrienne Heels]

I think that most SA's just want to sell.....I haven't had any negative experiences in the stores I like to shop in. In Filene's Basement, one SA gave me a funny look when I was trying women's belts while in drab , so I don't really go there that much any more

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

If they hear your male voice when in drag they will read you. Then you can't use the womens rooms for trying on clothes.

Depends on the store and the SA.

I've got no doubts that in up-close interaction, people know I'm a guy in a dress. But I've never had a problem with using the women's dressing room while en femme.

I do usually ask the SA if they could start a room for me if it's a dressing room area (not individual stalls off the main floor) -- this is something they'll do for women -- which gives them the option to let me know if it's a problem. In which case I'll shop else where.

That said, I do in the San Francisco area, so I'm sure the sales staff are probably more trans friendly than in other areas.

As far as being the center of attention.... I've done sales and yeah if it's a slow day it'll make things a little more interesting. But if they're professional -- and especially if they're on commission -- they won't be obvious about it when you're there. Unless you chose to draw attention. For example, there's times when I've shared some of my photos and the SAs will gather round to take a look -- they usually get a kick out of them.

[sandra-leigh]

Just out of curiousity on this, when talking to a SA, how do they react to a male voice en femme?

I have never even tried to do a femme voice, so I get read pretty easily when I speak -- and never had even a stare or a startle as a result. But then it's never been clear to me whether I "pass" to anyone, even fully dressed. People who have seen me in drab do not seem to have trouble recognizing me en femme, wig and all -- but if I'm not dressed to show off and I'm just doing every-day things, people do not pay much attention to me. I've had guys smile and hold the door for me when I was dressed, and there wasn't even a flicker of bewilderment or a scowl when I passed close enough to be easily read if I'm so easily readable... so I just don't know. Possibly my face is just somehow memorable, such that people who have seen me recognize me either way and people who haven't seen me in drab perceive a female... hard to tell.



Also, do you get looks from other shoppers when talking to the SA, or looking at items.

No, at least where I shop (numerous places around the city I live in), most of the other customers just don't seem to care, whether I'm shopping in drab or en femme. And in a couple of places, the other customers have been actively helpful.
I am including when I shop in stores devoted exclusively to womens' clothing, and stores that might have a few mens' items but which few men go to by themselves. The only people who have ever given me any trouble are a small number of boutique owners -- and those tend to be shops that GG feel uncomfortable in as well.

[sandra-leigh]

If they hear your male voice when in drag they will read you. Then you can't use the womens rooms for trying on clothes.

It varies a lot with the store and the people involved.

In some of the big chain stores, I have asked to try something on and been directed to the dressing room area right nearby, customarily used only by women (but no signs saying so.) The same store has some stall-type dressing areas (not in a seperate room), and I've been directed to those at times. And other times at the same place, I've been told that, Sorry, they couldn't permit me to use the dressing room and that I'd have to go down a floor to mens' wear (a nuisance, and I could have been directed to the stall-type ones if the room variety were off limits.)

And yet if I'm dealing with a SA in one of those stores, trying to pick out a blouse or skirt or whatever for me, it will usually be they who direct me into one of the areas customarily used only by women.

Summary guidelines might be:
- If the dressing room area is unattended and does not specifically say it for women, then go ahead
- If you are dealing with an SA to help you find or pick out something, then the SA will often direct you to a change-room in that department, even if it does say Women. The SA knows you are more likely to buy and more likely to be talked into "upselling" or buying something you aren't sure about, if you are right nearby in communications with them. "Wrong size? Let me get another for you."
- If you were picking things out by yourself without an SA (perhaps you have not even seen an SA!), and you go over to an attended outer-door-closed dressing area, you might be told to go to a mens' changeroom, even if that is noticably inconvenient. The attendants there are more guardians of the door than sellers of goods
- Don't worry so much, you probably are not even close to the first guy to go shopping in that lingerie or womens' clothing store.
- Don't worry about the owner or sales agent being older women whom you assume to be set in their ways and likely to be disapproving of anything "immoral". Around here, the SAs are mostly fairly young (teens and early employment years, or going through university), or else 55-ish (it seems). And those 55-ish have quite possibly been in sales a long time, and have seen and heard most everything: they tend to be very professional and helpful. They might perhaps not understand gender-bending the way the much younger generation does, but they know the value of the "soft skills", and know that a customer who is treated well is likely to return a number of times even if they do not buy something this time. And they intend to still be around then -- they aren't just "passing through" on the way to something else.

Now, who was it that said that, For any major purchase, you have to sell the same thing to the customer three times: the first time they are "just looking", the second time they aren't convinced yet to get that one or any one, and the third time is the time you convince them to buy that one.

[Penny]

Are sales assistants fascinated by crossdressors? Do any of you shop in drag frequently and let the SA's know your a crossdressor? How do they treat you? Do they gather around to take a look at you? - Thst's what they did when I got read at Dillards - haven't gone back in drag yet cuz I'm scared. If they are fascinated with us maybe I'll let myself get read with my voice. It would nice to see what real women think of crossdressers anyway

Yes I do shop in drag and yes after I asked the sales associate (both male and female) if they figured out that I was a male.
The respose varies from disbelief to well, I really wasn't sure. Surprisingly,
none have ever said yes or for that matter, I thought so. In any case, most are curious as to why I have no visable beard and ask a lot of other questions which I am more than happy to answer. While in the female mode, I never have been recognized for the person who's picture is on my driver's license, even in the local stores.

[Susan Johnson]

Just out of curiousity on this, when talking to a SA, how do they react to a male voice en femme? Also, do you get looks from other shoppers when talking to the SA, or looking at items. I went out for the first time with my wife last night for a drive, but she did not want to leave the car for fear I would be seen and someone say something. I always dream about going shopping with her and having a nice lunch together. Would love to hear your responses and thank you.
Recently I contacted a wig/hairpiece retailer and enquired about ladies 'fashion wigs'. She asked me straight out if it was for me. I said 'yes' and she couldn't have been more helpful. When I visited her to try on a few she was very pleasant and said she had several customers who 'dressed'.
I have been out for a drive several times with my wife while dressed but but she will not allow me to get out of the car for the same reasons Sharon gives. Someone might recognize me or take exception to a male in female clothing. Can't say I've ever seen a Cd out shopping but I buy female underwear while in drab with no comments.
Susan

[Rachael Turner]

If they hear your male voice when in drag they will read you. Then you can't use the womens rooms for trying on clothes.

I went to the gap yesterday bought (and tried on) new jeans, a mock turtleneck and a cute little henly top. No probelms or questions asked. Cash or credit?

[Jodi]

If they hear your male voice when in drag they will read you. Then you can't use the womens rooms for trying on clothes.

Jesse, I think you are letting your own paranoia take over, and you shouldn't direct it at all of us. I don't have problems shopping. I shop both in drab and en femme. Only one time several years ago was I denied the use of a femme fitting room when shopping in drab. I just smiled, handed them the items, and stated that I would shop elsewhere. The manager knew that she had errored. I shop now in drab and try on in the stores all the time. I don't buy without trying on. When enfemme, I have never been denied a fitting room. This was even when they knew I was a guy dressed enfemme.

The solution is to project yourself with confidence. If you are nervous and scared, it will come across immediately. This could make an inexperienced SA wary of waiting on you.

Shopping is easy. Trying on is easy. I don't have problems, and I don't expect to have problems.

Now get out there, get some confidence and shop.

Jodi

[sandra-leigh]

The solution is to project yourself with confidence. If you are nervous and scared, it will come across immediately. This could make an inexperienced SA wary of waiting on you.

I was thinking of writing something along the same lines:

If you go in with confidence and knowledge of what you are looking for or knowledge of the products (available styles, what's in fashion, what's being sold) -- then you probably won't have any problem. It doesn't take much: a bit of confidence and a bit of product knowledge usually convey fairly quickly that you are sincere and there to buy (or are comparison shopping with intent to buy soon). If you do not have confidence or product knowledge, then possibly SAs might think you are there to perv or to just try on for excitement with no intent to select something.


Once you are known to a store, the SA might suggest that you try something on to see how it feels, without expecting you to buy. A bit of indulgence in one way, but it's also the sort of indulgence that keeps you returning to the store in the future... and you might well be thrilled enough to buy the item now or later. I suspect that crossdressers are particularily susceptable to "upselling" into beautiful luxaries!
For example, the other day when I was in a womens' wear store with obvious intent to buy some tops, the manager asked me if I'd like to try on one of the long suede skirts "just to see what it's like?" Real suede, expensive enough that they kept the skirts locked to the bar, and she offered after merely seeing my eyes linger on them a little. Fortunately, I still have some impulse control left, and so I said No. She would not have minded at all my trying one on, but I was afraid I might like it :) {But suede is hard to keep clean, especially a long skirt in the snow... and what I really want is one of those form-fitting long leather skirts, one of the ones with a bubble for your butt (not one of the ones that just hangs down and makes you look thick.)}

[chideock]

I shop en femme and have always had great experiences. Maybe a giggle but mostly helpfull sincere reactions. I have been asked about my makeup, clothes, rings, chit chat mainly. I even had one SA comment that se wished she had my figure (waist chincher for me).

I like the suggestions about the change rooms. I have not been refused when en femme yet.

Go out girls!

[Kristen Marie]

Today I went into three stores in drab to buy some lingerie and clothing. I was wearing nice trousers, tassled shoes, blue oxford pin striped shirt and a blue blazer. I tried to look professional. In both Sears and Macy's the SA were very helpful. They were middle aged women and well dressed. While I never said, "these are for me", they knew. I tried to be knowedgeable about the product including the size. For example, when I was shown a 40B, I politely said, I know a 40B will be tight. The last one was. Do you have a 42C?

Those purchases went just fine. I picked up a thong, another matching bra and pantie set and some delicous red lace panties. But when I went to Lane Bryant, the story was a bit different. The sales associate was in her early twenties. I had a feeling this might be awkward, but I had driven over an hour in traffic to get there so I was not going to leave.

I told her I was looking for the Passion Lace bra, panties and garter belt (check it out on the LB website). It looks like a real nice set. However,she could not locate it in the store so she brought out a catalog and we looked together. While I specified the size and color I was looking for, I don't think she was catching on. She said we could order it for you and ship it to your house. I gently mentioned I be more comfortable picking it up at the store. She still didn't get it. Well, I did not order it, but I did get something else...

Lane Bryant has a large selection of jeans and tunic tops. They have this great peasant top, which I just had to get. It's real classy and would be great for those classy casual times. They had my size, so I brought it back to her to purchase. I asked her politely, do you think this would fit? She replied and said, fit who? I nicely said, me. She then turned all red and said, I think so, never even looking at the size.

This must have been the first time she has ever sold to a guy. I nicely asked if this is OK. She was more nervous than I was. And since she was the only one working I did not feel like asking ther if I could try it on first. To make her feel comfortable, I told her that one of my friends buys his clothes here all time. She smiled and said thank you. I guess now she'll be prepared for the next sale and have a great story to tell her friends!

[joanlynn28]

Lets see I had a very positive shopping experience last evening at Macys. I spent about an hour and a half trying on dresses and the other women shoppers did not even raise an eyebrow towards me. It helps that I often get mistaken for a woman when even in drab. Plus football games were on TV, a man would not be out shopping when a game is on. And when I was taking care of my purchases the sales associate was curtious and helpful, even when opening a credit account for me. And when he was done ringing me up he told me thank you for shopping at Macys Miss Murdock. I felt so welcomed there I went and applied online for a seasonal position with them, and today I got confirmation that my application was recieved and will be reviewed for current positions. Thanks Ian for treating this girl like a lady.

[Elizabeth Anne]

I was just out yesterday shopping for boots for Beth. I was in drab just coming home from a doctor appointment.
The shoe store I was in trying on boots had a wonderful sales associate. I told her right up front that I was looking for ladies boots for me & that I was a crossdresser. I found out as we talked she has an uncle who is a crossdresser & an aunt who is gay. She gave me a huge boost when she said to be who I am & don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
We could not talk much about anything else but my nails. I had just had them done(gel over my natural nails with an american manicure) on my way home from the doctor. She went nuts & had me tell her all about what I do to them to make them so beautiful.

[Adrienne Heels]

Beth, you must have enjoyed that so much! So many SA's are so accepting of us.

[GG Vanya]

I've never been an SA, but this thread got me thinking.

LONG before I met Trudi, or ever entertained the idea of a relationship with a CD I'd often encounter our one and only "out" crossdresser in this one horse town.

He is well into his fifties, and has a fetish for "can can" slips. He doesn't try to pass and doesn't give a putrid rodent's patootie if others react negatively when they see him out and about.

In retrospect, I'll admit I was fascinated with this man. Certainly not because I was attracted to "him" in any way. There is nothing physically attractive about him in either gender presentation. But I was in awe of his determination to live as he chooses regardless of what others think or say.

This man was so deeply buried in my memory that I never even thought about him until Trudi and I moved back here~at which time we'd been married for over 3 years, and even then it was when I once again encountered Ms. Can Can in WalMart.

Hmmmm, maybe I *did* seek a relationship with a CD on some sub conscious level. :D