Finding my comfort level

[Lacey's other half]

My b/f told me he was a cd a few weeks ago. I was a little shocked, (although I didn't tell him that) but over all it's not that big a deal for me. I consider myself an open minded person, and I love this man with my whole heart. I'm scared to ask him some questions because I don't want to hurt him in any way. He know's that I have questions, and get's flustrated with me because I don't ask them. I've told him that sometimes I get him to answer the questions that I have with out him even knowing that I had the question. He doesn't like that either. He just want's to "get it out" and I want to take my time with it.
I took him shopping over the weekend for his b-day. Just shoes, but I had fun with it. (He loves ked's and I'm not all about them :rolleyes: ) I'm more ok I think with the shopping and talking about his dressing than I am with him actually being dressed. I don't mean that to sound bad, but I'm not sure how to act or what to do when he's dressed. He's only done it once in front of me, so I guess I need to give it more time.
I'm sorry to ramble on so, but I just had a few things that I wanted to say.
Thanks for listening
:GD:
Lacey's other half

[Karren H]

Well she's lucky to have someone as understanding as you and I hope she knows it!! Lucky girls!!

Love Karren

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

:thumbsup: hi hun. i was i same postion several weeks ago, b/f told me he was c/d , total utter shock for me also, yep been there, getting flustered,angry, etc. but it does get better hun:happy: when i first saw darrell "dressed" i laffed because i was so nervous, but he was really good about it, and didnt push me, or make a big issue of it. i carnt lie and say its a "walk-in-the-park" with it, but given time it can be ok :hugs: we all are here for each other, and im sure will u find out there is a forum for us GG girls :thumbsup: welcome, u will find ur amoungst some great people in ere GG & c/d love xx :love:

[Nikki Dee]

Just take time love....your S.O. needs to understand that you have to get to your comfort level at YOUR pace...not "hers"...and I know from personal experience how difficult that is sometimes.!!..I am so lucky to have a very accepting and supportive wife...but it took us over 2 years to achieve that...step by step..it was worth the effort and the wait.!..I Wish you both all you would wish yourself.!!!...Good luck.
Love Nikki. x

[KimberlyS]

Well Lacey's Other Half it sounds like Lacey has a great GF in you. Yes finding your comfort level and his comfort level will take some time and some trial and adjusting and re-trial. And yes I know talking about it is not easy, for either of you most likely. But IMHO, the best thing the two of you can do for your relationship is learn to talk and communicate about this and other topics in your relationship. IMHO, communication is a huge key to a good and long term relationship.

Good Luck,

KimberlyS - CD
A feminine guy in a skirt.

[Sandra]

It does take time and you do need to communicate. When he's dressed just be yourself and don't pretend it won't do any good.

[Penny]

Look beneath that who you see and find the person that you know. He's there. He really is there!

[Sheila]

Lacey's other half,

first of all well done you for finding your way here, I have only known for 3 and a bit months about my partners cding although we have been together for over 2 1/2 years and he has been cding for over twenty.

I too love my other half with all that I am, this road we choose to travel with them is not always easy, so take your time , deep breathes and talk, if you are not comfortable with something SAY so. Communication is so important. My problem was that I wanted to talk and he just couldn't not that he didn't want to but he needed time to get his head round that I knew and didn't freak -------- yes I know the opposite to your situation but we are still here 3 and a bit months later.

we have a great Genetic female section here that you can join after you have 10 posts on the main forum, most of the girls here are terrific but sometimes we just need to talk to us, look forward to joining the GG section

Jess

[Lori SC]

... I'm scared to ask him some questions because I don't want to hurt him in any way. He know's that I have questions, and get's flustrated with me because I don't ask them. I've told him that sometimes I get him to answer the questions that I have with out him even knowing that I had the question. He doesn't like that either. He just want's to "get it out" and I want to take my time with it.

There is only one answer to this. Both of you need to talk to each other. You need to ask questions you have, and get honest answers. As long as you don't ask them with spite, he should not be upset. I can see a problem up ahead. He wants it "over and done with". Well, it's going to take you some time to get adjusted to this. And you will probably want to ask the same questions several times over. Tell him up front this is normal, and to expect it. Eventually, you won't need to ask anymore. If the two of you don't work things out now, don't communicate openly, it's not going to work in the end. You're doing great so far, but this can take months or years, not weeks.


... I'm more ok I think with the shopping and talking about his dressing than I am with him actually being dressed. I don't mean that to sound bad, but I'm not sure how to act or what to do when he's dressed. He's only done it once in front of me, so I guess I need to give it more time.

Just act like yourself.... This is going to take some getting used to. If you can, try treating her like a girlfriend and refer to her with her female name when she's dressed. That alone should thrill her. Don't feel you need to do everything at once. Take your time and do things that are comfortable for you. If you accept the dressing, you should eventually be comfortable seeing her in a dress. Start with smaller steps like you did. Go shopping together and buy girls clothes. Some for you, some for her. It's fun!

Welcome to our world.

Hugs, Lori :clap:

[trannie T]

He's still the same person he was a few weeks ago, he's still the same person no matter what he may like to wear. Too bad he has no taste for shoes.

[Lacey's other half]

Thank you ALL! for your support and encouragement. He has mentioned several times how much you all have helped him, and now I have that same help and support.
Thanks again!
LOH:happy:

[DonnaT]

After 31 years, my wife still isn't comfortable with seeing or being with me when I'm fully dressed. Other than that she's pretty supportive, even though she hates it.

Give yourself time, no big rush.

[Tree GG]

It does take time and you do need to communicate. When he's dressed just be yourself and don't pretend it won't do any good.

:iagree:

Easier said than done sometimes, but good advice.

[Dixie Darling]

You're doing just what you need to be doing - RESEARCHING the subject and seeking out support. You're BF is blessed to have someone who is willing to try to educate themselves about crossdressing. What HE needs to take into consideration is that he's had his whole lifetime to come to terms with it and he's educated himself along that journey. On the other side of the coin, you have only recently learned of his need to dress and you don't have anywhere near the same amount of knowledge about it that he does simply due to the short amount of time you've been aware of his crossdressing. Let him know that you're still in a "learning curve" and it's something that is going to take time for you to learn about. You deserve for him to be as considerate of YOUR feelings as you apparently are of HIS.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd