Are you overcompensating your TGness because of a lack of femininity in your life?

[Sophia Rearen]

I wrote this in a reply to a thread a couple of days ago: Are you overcompensating your TGness because of a lack of femininity in your life? I know I am guilty of this. My wife shows me very little affection, I won't even discuss the sex life. Perhaps her emotional tank is spent on our three children. Whatever, all I know is I'm left feeling as I'm single. I have always adored women, in fact, could never get enough. When there wasn't enough, there was the "dressing" option. While this was in my twenties, it is much different today. Today there is one woman, no strike that, two women in my life. My wife and Sophia. As the lack of touch and sensuality fades from my relationship, I find myself yearning for more Sophia time. I wonder, if things were different, would Sophia be so present?
Anyone else feel as I do?

[tall_brianna]

My tg inside exploded since I've been single. Thinking back on the relationships with women, I don't think I ever xdressed at the beginning. Hmmmm.... Hard to determine though if it causal or corollary.

[AprilMae]

No. In my case crossdressing transceneded times when I was single or in relationships, all to varying degrees.

[Alaceann]

It could have been me writing that your post it is so close but I don't
think that I am over compensating,altho when I dress it does make me feel better.

[SherriePall]

I don't know Sophia. Sherrie has blossomed and bloomed no matter what the relationship with my wife. There could be fireworks in the sky and Sherrie still wants to come out and play. So, my answer would be no, I don't think I'm overcompensating. Actually, when my wife is all femmed up, I do get envious.

[suchacutie]

Tina's femininity brings me closer to my wife's. Through Tina the two of us can share things that guys never dream about. Tina has a role model and a real girlfriend. It's not just discussing, either. Guys can do that. It's taking about femininity and then both being able to do whatever is being discussed. It's not compensation at all, but tremendous enhancement!

[Scotty]

Yep same, single - I have more time, more privacy - it works.


When I was in relationships I buried it for the most part.

[hotbobbie]

I don't think so but then again who knows what this cd is all about.

[Sexy_Jennifer]

Sophia, I have to say I rather agree with you... there's a bit of a femininity drought in my life right now, and I don't think I'd be obsessing quite so much about CDing if there wasn't.

[Billie Jean]

There is no lack of feminity in my life. I am plenty of woman myself and work with all females in my job. Billie Jean

[Kimberly]

I haven't had a partner for a year and a half, but I don't think it's something to do with a lack of femininity in my life - being bisexual.

When I was much younger, (and to this day,) my mother wasn't very feminine. She didn't wear heels, or notably feminine shoes - which I think influenced my view on high heels in particular as something incredibly feminine (which meant I wanted to wear them!)

xx

[insearchofme]

Often times during our marriage I've lived in seperate cities from my wife because of my job. My desire to dress really comes out when we are apart.

[Girdlewoman]

Hi, i am recently divorced from a 20 something marrige,with 3 children. As a result I have moved to a new city where I know next to nobody. Anyway, I was married to a plain woman, tomboyish, and post menopausal. Like several of you have already mentioned the sex and attention thing just seemed to erode away. At the time I underdressed as well as went out dressed and even was hanging my lingerie up in the bathroom. There seemed to be no problen. I'm not sure if there could have been and I didn't notice or what. I can say that I did try to be respectful toward my ex in regard to my dressing. O.K., so now here I am alone and free to dress as much as I wish and I have no desire. I know that being transgendered will never go away so I won't figure it's over and purge. I do remained shaved and were panties all the time. I also have no desire to date anyone either. I guess my question would be...is this just a "dry" period or is it age(56)? I don't know,again like others have said this whole girl thing is an adventure and who knows what's next? I love this forum and am always facinated by what all we ladies think. Peace,Charlene

[ubokvt]

I was in a marriage that over time lost all vestiges of sex, intimacy, and affection. To the point that even a hug was not possible. As the intimacy in the marriage diminished, my dressing increased. A confimed hetro and totally unwilling to go outside my marriage, dressing became the outlet for the affection, and yes sex, missing in the marriage. I was a way of connecting to a fading hope that kept me in a dead relationship. It wasn't a lack a feminity but a lack of intimacy.
I have been in a very intimate and physically close relationship for the past five years, but I still dress but for other reasons. The underlying reason I dress is, that in either stituation, it is a way to get in touch with parts of who I am that need attention and expression.

[Ashley in Virginia]

Go get a girlfriend and find out..... :P

Seriously though, I can see what you are saying. The thing is though, what kind of feminity do you want to persue? Yours or your wifes?


Perhaps her emotional tank is spent on our three children.

You say your wife is emotionally spent on the kids. I dont know your situation but maybe if you try and lift some of that weight off of her, she can put some of it on you...

[Deborah]

I find myself yearning for more Sophia time. I wonder, if things were different, would Sophia be so present?
Anyone else feel as I do?

Yes i've been there too. A loveless marriage it seemed. Doesn't matter if she's around or not (we're divorced now) i still want to be Deborah.

[Adrienne Heels]

Sophia, I could have written that myself!

[Ashley in Virginia]

Sophia, I could have written that myself!

Then why didn't you? :tongueout

[suzy]

Sophia....

You took the words right out of my mouth! Ubokvt and some others have hit it also.....

I am mid 50's and it seems that for the last 15 or so years my wife's sexual desire has disappeared. She says that post menopausal complications has depleted her desire, but I didn't know that until recently. I have suggested that she see her doctor about seeking a medical remedy and she is amenable to it.

But in the last many years, in the absense of intimacy, my desire to dress sprouted or resurfaced or grew into my doing something about it and hence my desire to dress. It may have been there all along and was surpressed, I don't know, but I know that it has replaced the femininity or intimacy I felt when I was intimate with my wife. My wife has been receptive to my dressing and I can't help but believe she is more receptive because she feels guilty for depriving me of sexual intimacy. Deep huh?

This is therapeutic to reveal. Thanks for listening to me.

I love femininity or is it intimacy?....but if I can't have it in my marriage I can get enough of it from Suzy to make the marriage work. Make sense? It is sexy and exciting and fills the void...at least for the time being and it makes me feel lovely.:love:

[Adrienne Heels]

Ashley, maybe I should have!

[racquel]

[QUOTE I wrote this in a reply to a thread a couple of days ago: Are you overcompensating your Genes because of a lack of femininity in your life?unquote]

I don't agree with this premise as a lot of us were dressing pre-puberty and the desire to dress often has more to do with social stresses rather than intimacy issues.:2c:

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe your wife sees marriage as a "chore". Have you tried the "Mary Poppins" (spoonful of sugar helps the "medicine" go down) approach with her? Do something "crazy" with her. I think she would love it. Being spontaneous works wonders.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[AdmirerDeanInRI]

I belive that the common thread that ties all of us together (even those of us who are admirers) is that old fashioned femininity is not present in most of today's women. Because of all of the pressures that have on them (many have been created by them), they don't choose to be as feminine as women of previous generations. Most CD/TG's are significantly more feminine than todays GG's.

Bravo to all of you for keeping femininity alive!

Dean

[Audrey34]

Overcompensating? I wish. I would be dressing up every day from the moment I wake up if that were the case. I'm trying to get into a relationship but it's not easy. You know how difficult it is to find a lady who would tolerate a crossdresser who likes to tie up women? Sometimes it feels like a damn impossible task.
-Audrey

[Crissy Kay]

Yes Sophia, This does appy to me. My wife is pretty much a tomboy anyway. I have never had a really fem woman in my life. So over the years I have fixated on the most fem type of woman, the french maid. It was only a few years I bought my first outfit. Then ordered a petticoat online. From that "Crissy" was born. Now, I feel a sense of support, from my sisters on these boards. I am not alone!!!!!!!!!

[Nigella]

I belive that the common thread that ties all of us together (even those of us who are admirers) is that old fashioned femininity is not present in most of today's women. Because of all of the pressures that have on them (many have been created by them), they don't choose to be as feminine as women of previous generations. Most CD/TG's are significantly more feminine than todays GG's.

Bravo to all of you for keeping femininity alive!

Dean

My comment is not meant with malice but ...

With comments like this you belong in the stone age, with your club and strong arm to pull the hair of the maiden you have just hit about the head.

Times change, maybe you should as well.

[livy_m_b]

I don't know that it's "overcompensating", but I've often had similar thoughts. My mother was a very feminine womanly person and I was very close to her. My spouse is also feminine, but not in the same way as my mother was. And in the normal give and take of relationship, sometimes she's closer and sometimes farther away. And, when she's far away sometimes I feel like there's just not enough femininity in my life and that sometimes is relieved by dressing. Is it an a=b kind of thing? No, but there does seem to be a connection.

[Ashley in Virginia]

My comment is not meant with malice but ...



How was it meant then?......:D

[princessmichelle]

Lack of femininity....interesting question. I mean, in a way. I think.

[Joanie]

I wrote this in a reply to a thread a couple of days ago: Are you overcompensating your TGness because of a lack of femininity in your life? I know I am guilty of this. My wife shows me very little affection, I won't even discuss the sex life. Perhaps her emotional tank is spent on our three children. Whatever, all I know is I'm left feeling as I'm single. I have always adored women, in fact, could never get enough. When there wasn't enough, there was the "dressing" option. While this was in my twenties, it is much different today. Today there is one woman, no strike that, two women in my life. My wife and Sophia. As the lack of touch and sensuality fades from my relationship, I find myself yearning for more Sophia time. I wonder, if things were different, would Sophia be so present?
Anyone else feel as I do?

I could have written your comments, they mirror my situation in so many ways. Unfortunately, my wife is tied up with work plus the many difficulties her mother and sister have faced of late, I can't even begin to think of what it must be like to have a sex life. That is best left to those rare weekends we can leave town and get away from the distractions. To find female companionship, it is best found during those rare moments of crossdressing.

Sometimes, the longing for intimacy can be painful, especially when I ask for it but she is too tired, has a headache, upset stomach, or asks-- can we wait until tomorrow night when I might feel better but then tomorrow night rolls around and its the same situation! I am reminded of that line in the Rolling Stones song, "Rocks Off,"..."Kick me like you did before, I can't even feel the pain no more." I suppose that is true, especially since I now have zero expectations! I take all this in stride and never let her know that I am upset. Anyway, nice to know I am not the only one in this shape.

[GG Vanya]

I belive that the common thread that ties all of us together (even those of us who are admirers) is that old fashioned femininity is not present in most of today's women. Because of all of the pressures that have on them (many have been created by them), they don't choose to be as feminine as women of previous generations. Most CD/TG's are significantly more feminine than todays GG's.

Bravo to all of you for keeping femininity alive!

Dean

hmmmm maybe "femininity is in the eyes of the beholder?" Last weekend I woke early to go hunting with Dad (Trudi woke with a bad headache so was staying home). When I finally got on all the thermals, camo gear and boots Trudi smiled from the bed and said: Damn you look sexy in that!

I had never thought of myself as sexy when hunting. Utilitarian would have been my description. Masculine however, has never crossed my mind relating to my hunting.

Another thought: *if* my husband nagged me about not being feminine enough for him or castigated me for it, I would most likely balk like a blue nosed Missouri mule about it.

The days of June Cleaver are long over folks. And as Nigella pointed out (thanks :hugs: ) so are the days of the knuckle draggers.

[GG Vanya]

Overcompensating? I wish. I would be dressing up every day from the moment I wake up if that were the case. I'm trying to get into a relationship but it's not easy. You know how difficult it is to find a lady who would tolerate a crossdresser who likes to tie up women? Sometimes it feels like a damn impossible task.
-Audrey


Audrey, Keep the faith! My husband found one! :dom:

[ReginaK]

My comment is not meant with malice but ...

With comments like this you belong in the stone age, with your club and strong arm to pull the hair of the maiden you have just hit about the head.

Times change, maybe you should as well.

That's not fair.

Would you tell a woman who was saying that there are no real masculine men left the same thing?

[AmberTG]

Vanya, I knew I liked you for a reason!
Ya, women like that are few and far between, but I think they're out there. You should check out the website Alt.com
If I was looking, I'd be looking for someone who likes to play both roles, dom and sub, I tend to be quite submissive at times.
Amber

Oh ya, forgot to comment on the topic of the thread:D
For me, it has been a lifelong thing regardless of the relationship, If anything, it has been a distraction from the relationship for me. My gender disphoria has made me a bit hard to live with anyway, with depression and withdrawal from life in general. I tend to be the cause of the difficultys in my relationship. I've learned so much in the past 6-8 months with the therapist, but it won't help the past.

[Kathleen Anne]

Ive been crossdressing most of my life not withstanding the presence or absance of women in my life . The main drive for my dressing is about how I want to feel and look rather than any relationship ive been in at the time. Some girls have helped some have hated but the desire was still thier .
Kathleen Anne:2c:

[krisybryant]

I wrote this in a reply to a thread a couple of days ago: Are you overcompensating your TGness because of a lack of femininity in your life? I know I am guilty of this. My wife shows me very little affection, I won't even discuss the sex life. Perhaps her emotional tank is spent on our three children. Whatever, all I know is I'm left feeling as I'm single. I have always adored women, in fact, could never get enough. When there wasn't enough, there was the "dressing" option. While this was in my twenties, it is much different today. Today there is one woman, no strike that, two women in my life. My wife and Sophia. As the lack of touch and sensuality fades from my relationship, I find myself yearning for more Sophia time. I wonder, if things were different, would Sophia be so present? Anyone else feel as I do?

Sophia,

You have touched on an important issue to CD's and a complex issue at that. Like so many others here I can only relate what I know; what I've experienced. Hold on tight ladies 'cause I feel a big academic discussion coming here.

It's important because I believe we CD's crave both our heterosexual relationships (an external entity) and our femme self (an internal entity). (I'm not a psychologist so I going on my feelings here.) As men we cannot compartmentalize these two parts of our lives like we do so many other things.

I think it's complex because there is two spectra or scales of "being" associated with your (our) feelings. The first belongs to Sophia's age or maturity. The second belongs to the age of your (our) heterosexual relationships.

Let me explain. When we're single - lots of free time, no one in the house - we get board. We can experiment very easily, and we do. But, when we're in relationships we don't have a lot of time to ourselves. So, time for our femme-selves gets concentrated to small segments. Some CD's might come out to their partners and then the femme time might be shared; sexuality might be heightened for a short time while en femme. As our femme side matures we discover fewer new things about being feminine; it's comfortable and we blend in.

During this time our sexuality changes too. When the femme persona is young and we start a sexual relationship, both our male and femme sides explode and try to compete for attention. Sex and the relationship may be 'great' during this time. But, soon the relationship follows the femme maturity outlined above: it gets comfortable and there is less new things to discover about our partner.

I think the thing to do then is revive both the relationship and the femme side. It takes the cleverness of the femme persona and the desire of the male side to pull it off.

Now, speaking from experience, Krisy lay dormant for most of my married life of 5 years. When I found another relationship she was again asleep for a time. When the time was right she emerged and the sexuality immaturity along with her. Soon (about 1 month) things settled down and I found a balance where both Krisy and my male self could co-exist in a heterosexual relationship. Both have their place and time.

[Calliope]

As I see it, dressing often flourishes when there's no relationship to bring (conventional) gender pressures to bear. Plus, time is an asset to dressing. Loneliness may call out the fem self - why not? That said, dressing will find its opening in any situation. The 'overcompensation' owes a lot to the need to disguise the male shape - thus the 'old fashioned' fashions (dresses, heels, makeup) are often incorporated in the dressing. Which may not necessarily signify an ideological statement about GGs and their (more 'reasonable') choice of clothes. Many CDs do report drawing upon their conception of a 'dream woman' to emulate - which makes sense (even though many CDs attract 'high-testosterone' mates); why dress like the dreaded stern school teacher from one's miserable childhood. Which reminds me, most CDing manifests itself prior to puberty - which doesn't mean pre-pubescent kids aren't thinking about gender, however. OK, there's my thoughts, however jumbled.

[Nigella]

How was it meant then?......:D

Exactly as it was said, start living in the real world, how the post was interpreted was out of my control, I just wanted you to know there was no malice intended.


That's not fair.

Would you tell a woman who was saying that there are no real masculine men left the same thing?


The response I would give to a woman saying something similar would be in the same vein as the response I gave.

[Sophia Rearen]

Sorry to thread and run. Thanks for your replies.
It certainly is nice to see I'm not alone in these feelings. The intimacy word is one that I'm not comfortable with using here. I don't think my TGness is a substitute for itimacy. To me, nothing can replace the feel or connection between myself and a woman. I'm not saying that can't be true for others, just not me at this time.
Girdlewoman, has Charlene so welcome that your comfortable with not dating. Has she filled your needs?
Ashley, the femininity I persue would be from my wife first, since the lack there of, I'm getting it from within. Also, I do try to lighten her load around the house. While appreciated, it really doesn't change things.
Suzy, I have to wonder if my wife is more accepting of my dressing as well due to the lack of contact. Deep huh? Yes it is, and thanks for expressing yourself. I appreciate it.
racquel,this was meant to be a question of an older cd not a pre puberty issue. My social stresses also increase my dressing desires, but not solely.
Erika, thanks. Problem is the wife is too practical. Doing something crazy becomes a chore for the two of us, unfortunately.
Joanie, I feel your pain.
Krisy, "I think the thing to do then is revive both the relationship and the femme side. It takes the cleverness of the femme persona and the desire of the male side to pull it off". I'm not sure I have that in me anymore. I've been trying for years. I'm to the point of giving up.
Daytripper, nicely said.

[Wendy me]

at one time my wife and i were very much mom and dad with every second revolving around our kids.... there was never a break something to do with them was always happening..... and with kids my wife was inattentive to them as she should be being a mouther with children ... and me helping out ... even though i was still sorta speak growing up myselfe....(she sometimes said she 3 sons) ...my dressing and my femininity or lack of it was due to my not being adventive to my wife's needs and remembering to not only treat her as a mouther but also to treat her as my wife and let her know what she means to me.....

the kids are grown and moved out now... we still have some little issues to get through .... so we do them steps ... sometimes forward .... and sometimes backwards....

[BobbieCD1944]

....You know how difficult it is to find a lady who would tolerate a crossdresser who likes to tie up women? Sometimes it feels like a damn impossible task.
-Audrey

To dream impossible dreams. Finding a monogamous, dominant ,kinky lady, some where in my age group is not as easy as some would suspect. No lack of possible play dates, but relationship potential is darn near nil....

The over compensating thing.... I'll be 62 in less than a month. Married for close to 30 years. Separated and divorced for over 10 years. 2 short relationships during that time. Early in my marriage CDing and a few kinks were discussed. I put them in the closet. She knew I crossdressed when she was away from home. Overall, it was a good marriage, and our sex life was a reasonably good one.

Now, alone, my sex life is zero.. ( just don't like one night stands, etc.) As far as crossdressing goes, when I get depressed, it seems that I either start dressing around the house more, venturing out more with the forms and lingerie under my drab.. or.. don't crossdress at all.. for weeks... So, yes, I overcompensate, on way or the other, for lack of an SO.

[LaFem]

Dear Sophia,
I understand how you feel and I'm so sorry things couldn't have worked out better. The loss of intimacy is very sad. I think Sophia should let herself out more, but it's very easy to lose yourself in her, and very easy to go real far real fast. This will create even more stress in your life, while it eases some others. Get your own place, separate; this is a very big deal. When this happened to me I let my female self take over everything. I loved it in the beginning! I should have waited a while; moved out; and avoided the yelling and the screaming, and ALL that bad stuff. Good Luck.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

Sophia I'm sorry that your intimate life with your SO is infrequent and is causing you some turmoil.

I don't think that it's a lack of femininity or intimacy that set my dressing off. It all started prior to my hormones kicking in, and has lasted through my Mum, numerous girlfriends and a wife....all very feminine people.

Like all long married people (21 yrs) there are periods when I want more, but lately I have found that I only have to get cuddling and something will often happen!!!

I still believe that I was born with this "condition". Somehow my wires got a little crossed, and here I am cross dressing. There have been long periods when I never dressed, one can be attributed to starting the relationship with my wife where I was far too busy doing other things, but other times I suppose I just get bored and drift away for a while.

So damned if know why I crossdress..I wish I did, because then, maybe, I would do something about that....or maybe then I'd accept me fully and be really and truly content...

[LaurenS.]

I agree with you Sophia!
Lauren

[kathy gg]

Sophia, I really am late responding to this thread....I know when you posted you were probably looking for comfirmation as to why your tg self is flourishing while you male life is diminishing{?}

I dont' know the answers to that.

I do know that marriage has to be something both people want to keep alive and well and breathing with more than a faint pulse.

I can't imagine what it is like to have three kids...having one keeps me on my toes.

I also consider myself a very vivacious person who enjoys all aspects of life to their fullest, so I cannot relate to not wanting to be intimate with a spouse, for me it is incomprehensable, I feel even if I was layed up in a wheelchair with only movement in my fingers....well Kathy would still manage to find a way to get her mojo on! So kids aside, being intimate ranks pretty damn up there on my important list.

To me marriage is like this huge pie, consisting of ingredients which must all be used often and in the mix to make it taste good {God I love analogies!}....commitment/trust/friendship/sex/honesty/respect/lust///
all those parts make (for me) marriage a very tasty treat. Take away one ingredient from that pie and it is not the same.

Because my husband and I both know that every part is just as important as the other we both make sure we keep all those ingredients on hand all the time.

Kids/work/family/outside activities...all that stuff is part of life....but what is most important and makes everything else work better in our life is when we are happy with our marriage. If I was not happy with my marriage I would make one carappy Mom...he would make a lousy employee and my tennis game would go down the drain.

I would say if you are content with your life, then keep truckin'...but if you really feel this is a downward spiral of lonliness and you miss your wife being with you....you need to take some action. Is there a possiblity she has no idea that you miss her? I mean if you have time to get dressed up...in my mind you got time to get in it on .....maybe she thinks you would rather be chicked out and alone than be with her? Who knows, i am jsut throwing out some thoughts. I mean it is no mystery that many wives feel that their husbands femme self is a *replacement* for their role...although many guys denigh this and it seems many really dont' look at it that way....well sometimes misconceptions feel like truth when people dont' know any better....

anyway...best of luck and I hope this situation resolves it self before they leave home....nothing worse than empty nesters looking at each other wondering who they hell each other is....:straightface:

[stephaniex]

hi sophia,

i agree completely!!

i found that with my ex-wife there was no affection, no sex, nothing!!! so by dressing up, i became my own sex object, i don't know if that makes any sense at all, but i never cheated, but i did need a woman, and by dressing up, i became that woman myself.

luckily now, i've left my wife and i have a gf who accepts my dressing ...

curiosly i still want to dress even though i have an affectionate gf ...

[TaniaInTas]

Your situation sounds extremely similar to mine. Whilst I first started dressing very eary in life, it has really accelerated since the intimate side of my marriage started to breakdown. Now it's like a spiral. The more I dress, the more my wife was to disassociate. The more she withdraws, the more I feel like dressing. Where will it stop, I wonder

[Sophia Rearen]

Good stuff here. Thanks everyone.
Lafem, moving out is not even on the table at this point. I have, however, considered buying a vacation home where I could get away as Sophia from time to time. But that takes big $ and more time at work to achieve and therefore less Sophia time.
Sweet Jane, cuddling counts. I would take that.
kathy, never too late for a reply from you. Yup 3 kids, and 2 of them are twin boys, argh! It's great right now though. But, it certainly strains a marriage and I get that. Your analogies and the description of your marriage is exactly what I'm looking for. I knew I liked you. Afterall, in the beginning there was man and woman, she and I. No, I'm not content with my life. I've communicated my desires time after time. What has not been discussed is Sophia being a stand in for her. I should talk to her about it. That should be fun, ugh! Maybe she is ok with Sophia replacing her? Got to ask to find out. It's certainly not my wishes for that to be the case. I'd rather the real thing versus the make believe. Perhaps a trip to Canada is in order and we would just happen to run into you and yours. Wouldn't that be a coincidence? A little bit of kathy gg outlook rubbing off on her would go a long way. Thanks.
stephaniex, I'm sure I would still dress even if she were more affectionate. I'm just wondering if it would be less.
Tania, yes where will it stop? It's a vicious circle.

[Gretchen]

Guess I found this thread a little late since I have been away from my computer for a few days, but will have to mirror Sophia's perspective to some extent. My relationship with my wife is still strong and we love each other a lot. But yes, there has definitely been a waning in her desire to maintain as strong a feminine side as she once did.
I never really thought about that loss or lack of femininity until now, at least at an honest level. It's definitely waned for my wife in the last few years. I understand and mostly accept that situation, especially since she is now the solo bread winner and I am retired on a disability. The stresses she faces at work have taken a toll on both of us, but I will not use that as a reason why I have gotten into CDing big time in the past two years. When dressed the way I want to be dressed, I feel very feminine and have even even found my femme personna appealing and attractive, at least by my own standards. I have enjoyed my growth and expansion in dressing and know that I have no desire to stop or lessen the level of dressing I currently do.
She does not know about my dressing and at this time, I cannot imagine anything but big relationship trouble and disconnect if she were to find out.
I guess the dressing is my own private activity that I enjoy and use as a form of feminine self expression that has been latent or dormant for many years.
Gretchen

[rickie121x]

Barely compensating is more like it. Actually - not compensating at all! There is no way, that I might know of, to bring the warmth and richness of female companionship together with the myriad of intellectual and sensual simulations. I am so very, very, sad there is not a significant female in my life.

And I am dressing more and more - as well as investigating breast enlargement, and obsessing on all aspects of bringing in more feminine aspects to my life. Compensating, no. Trying to replace, more likely yes.

I am quite old, 72, and others have said it - into the BDSM world of excitement - both of which make the possibilities of finding a mate so difficult as to be nearly impossible.

This is a very tender subject for me. I would rather avoid it, and just actively search for whatever pleasures I may find - with anticipation being the most active stimulation and feeling.... and that goes flat, eventually. In the meantime I will make light of it, until I can no longer avoid the realities - then I have no idea what to do....

Rickie :sad:

[Charleen]

No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know!:( I DO know I have been this way all my life. My late wife was more of a tomboy and me more femme and it worked out in all ways if you get my drift, yet I still dressed when I could. Now that I live alone, I am always dressed when at home. I'm comfortable that way, but you raised the question in my mind mind as to am I compensating for the lack of a woman in my life. Could be, or not. Tell you this though, I ain't gonna hurt my brain figuring it out. I be who I be.:D
Love and xxxx, Lily