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Phyliss
11-09-2006, 06:47 PM
So....the Lane Bryant catalog arrived last week. Normally I'd take a quick look through it and then dispose of the evidence. This time was different. Knowing wife needed some new winter clothes, and already having spent a small fortune on her for this I figured she might want to look at it. As she was paging through it I pointed out the nightgowns.

http://www.lanebryantcatalog.com/product.aspx?PfId=45408&DeptId=11168&producttypeid=1&PurchaseType=0

She mentioned that she had enough from our trip to the Vanity Fair Outlet last month. (Of course WE can never have enough). After she picked out what she wanted, [some tunics and some pants] I called in the order, being sure to add the nightgowns for myself. Got one of every color they have. I'm allowed to wear them so "strike while the iron is hot"
So today I'm sitting in my home office playing Ma Jong on the 'puter, while waiting for my nails to dry between coats. (Sally Hanson Hard As nails in clear) She had been out and when she came in the door she sat down in the office to talk to me. Here's my nail polish, file, foam buffer, and two wooden sticks on my desk and she doesn't even wink an eye at it. I'm sitting in my 'puter chair with my legs crossed and my jeans had ridden up a bit so that my taupe colored stockings were clearly visible. Not a word about it. As we were talking about general things the UPS guy drops off a package. The Lane Bryant order. "Come on kid lets go up to the bedroom and check out the goodies." At this point she doesn't know that I've ordered the night gowns. Get up stairs and open the bag. Pull out the tunics and pants she ordered, plus the jacket she had remarked about. Then I begin to remove the night gowns. Her comment? "You ordered some for yourself?", "Yes, I like the longer ones. The few I have from Vanity Fair are nice but I would have liked them to be longer." , "How many did you buy?" "I got one of every color." Holding up the pink one I showed her how long it was on me. "Probably too long for you." "I don't know" "Well, try one on" So she took off her blouse and pulled it over her head. By Golly it fit her. She liked the look of it.
Now hearing myself having this conversation with my wife about the fit and length of a number of nylon nightgowns that I ordered for myself is music enough, BUT the best part was yet to come.
As she was standing in front of the mirror looking at herself in the nightgown, she said, and this is an exact quote, "Cool.... it fits nice, now I can steal some of yours"
For about two seconds I was speechless as my heart danced with joy. 'Thank you, I love you." was all I could say. For that comment I gave her the Red one and the Winterberry one. Small enough price to pay for that acceptance.

Ladies I am so " on cloud nine" right now.

Theresa(TGirl)
11-09-2006, 07:43 PM
That sounds very nice Phyliss.

I guess it shows that she really accepts your dressing.

Jenna1561
11-09-2006, 07:50 PM
A very sweet story. You have a wonderful wife, you lucky girl.


Jenna

Kristen Marie
11-09-2006, 09:24 PM
Words you dream about hearing....

uknowhoo
11-09-2006, 09:38 PM
Oh, that's just too cool Phyllis! Good for you two!!

GG Vanya
11-09-2006, 11:25 PM
Phyliss :hugs:

I got a lump in my throat reading your post. They say the good things in life are worth waiting for. Your good things are now arriving and I'm *so* happy for you!

I know I need not say this, but take it easy~let her lead you. You two now have the rest of your lives to enjoy this ultimate intimacy! Enjoy!!!! :<3:

P.S. Take her to dinner this weekend! :D

ColleenCD
11-09-2006, 11:44 PM
Phyllis,

Isn't it nice when the girl you married supports you in your deepest concern. Dinner at the Least! :love:

Colleen

Phyliss
11-10-2006, 04:22 AM
Thanks everyone. Unfortunately she doesn't support me, however she knows enough to not try to stop me because she couldn't. I'd just go back deeper into the closet and become withdrawn. So her comment about "steeling some of mine" was a more practical comment than anything.
Later last evening, I stepped out to my barn for something, and as i was heading back to the house, she was at the door with the Lane Bryant catalog in her hand. ( you know the one they always send along with your order, just to get you to buy more) well, it worked for her. She wanted more items. How can I refuse? Quite a bit actually, (Oh my aching plastic. ) As we were going through the book and listing the items she circled I came across that shoe section and was looking at some low cut boots without a heel to wear in "guy mode". She said "You have enough boots" thinking I was looking at the nice high heeled ones next picture over. "No, not them but these" I replied. ""You have enough stuff" (not wanting to push it, I dropped the subject) After we completed the list I commented, "You figured this out already haven't you? If I want to wear this I have to buy you a whole bunch of THAT." At that statement I got a big smile. (That smile is well worth everything)
Her answer, "I don't understand why you want to wear ladies clothes"
"I don't either honey. That's why I'm going to see the councilor"
"It doesn't make me feel good"
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad. This whole crossderssing (I actually said the WORD) thing has me a bit confused also, but one thing I want to make clear right now. It has NOTHING to do with anything you said, did or acted like nor is it anything you didn't do or say. YOU have nothing to do with it."
Get rid of any guilt she might have.
"It still doesn't make me feel good"
"I'm not asking you to feel good about this but rather just put up with me for awhile. ( a very l o n g while. left unsaid) Besides I know enough to not buy too much clothing because i wouldn't have as much of a chance to wear it as often as I'd like. To just buy because I can and have it sitting in the closet sounds dumb. I have some common sense."
"It still doesn't make me feel good"
" I'm not asking you go out with me and let me walk the streets, (not yet anyhow ;) ) Here, let me show you something, Lets play make believe for a minute. My plastic is unlimited and I can wear what I want where and when I want."
I then went through the catalog and pointed out the items I'd like.
"See, my taste in clothes is plain and conservative, I'd not dress like a street walking ****, (oh yeah give me that mini)."
"I didn't say you would, I still don't understand"
"I don't either, believe me when I do I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out myself."

RachelDenise
11-10-2006, 05:31 AM
Phyliss, at there is some progress and you're talking. Slow and steady.

Paula Thomas
11-10-2006, 10:25 AM
Phyliss - A beautiful set of posts.

The nightgown was lovely also, although I prefer shorter ones like:

http://www.lanebryantcatalog.com/Product.aspx?PfId=35219&DeptId=11168&ProductTypeId=1&ViewAll=0

and

http://www.lanebryantcatalog.com/Product.aspx?PfId=58132&DeptId=11168&ProductTypeId=1&ViewAll=0

Thank you for posting the link (I signed up for three catalogs and e-mail notices (unfortunately under my drab name :( since my daughters may see the mail), although if it were only my wife, I would have signed up under my drag name).

Jenny Beth
11-10-2006, 10:38 AM
Glad to hear more of the ice melted so to speak, the big thing here though is you have gotten her to smile. As serious as this may be for her she is finding humour in it and we all know humour is the best medicine for anything. Looking back some 20 years that's how my wife and I dealt with it, when we go through catalogues now she often comments on things that would suit me. I agree with Vanya, you owe your wife a dinner....and flowers too!

Jaydee
11-10-2006, 11:37 AM
Great posts Phyliss. I hope that some day I can have a similar conversation with my wife. I am working up to it slowly. Best wishes,

Jaydee

psdibe
11-12-2006, 07:17 AM
phyliss , this is wonderful, enjoy yourself and your SO. we all wish we could be there to.
Hugs
PD

Raychel
11-12-2006, 08:14 AM
It really seems like you are having some fun around your house. That is so fantastic. But more importantly the road to acceptance is communication. And you have taht too. I am so happy for you.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

melissacd
11-12-2006, 08:28 AM
Phyliss,

I am glad that you are making progress with your wife, though it looks like there is a ways to go.

After 9 years I am still not making any head way with my wife. I a grow tired of the battle, the stepping around the issue and I am impatient with the struggle. I am not getting any younger and I do not want to miss out on this anymore. That is why this year I drew a line in the sand and said that I am a CD, that will not change, I will maintain a wardrobe, I will go out to CD events and I will make transgender friends whether she agrees or not. At some point you just have to declare your intention and get on with it.

You would think that if our spouses truelly loved us unconditionally that they would not make it so hard on us to be ourselves.

I am glad that you are making progress with your wife and I wish you all the best in getting her more and more on side with this.

By the way you mention that you are in counselling for this, may I ask if she is going to counselling with you, because cross dressing is not something that you can be cured of and any counselling in this context should be geared towards how you deal with this as a couple.

Huggs
Melissa

Angie G
11-12-2006, 08:45 AM
Phyliss you go girl :hugs:
Angie

Theresa(TGirl)
11-12-2006, 11:16 AM
You would think that if our spouses truelly loved us unconditionally...

Ahh, why do you think you hear of the term "divorce", the only people that seem to be able to love unconditionally are babies. All they care about is whether or not they get something to eat.