tall_brianna
11-12-2006, 04:21 PM
Many here have told me that I'm passable but, as many others have said, it's more than just a look thing.
I went out in public for my first time last night. I got read more times than I can count including a chuckle from a passing GG. :(
So I met two tgirl friends in the GLBT neighborhood last night. I've been out on drives and even left a convenience store worker in dismay, but in a public, well lit coffee shop is where the evening started. Actually, it started six blocks from the coffee shop where I had to park and walk down busy streets. I tried my best to not lumber down the street, chin up and eyes front. Part of it is maybe because I never made eye contact with anyone passing but I have excellent peripheral vision and some reactions were painful. Eyes forward... chin up.... Arrive at the coffee shop, a pretty mainstream place, and, yeah, everybody knew what we were. None of the three of us attempted a female voice all night. The two girls I met were way more experienced at this than me and eventually I just picked up on the fact that they didn't care. So, why not, "Let it go, let yourself go, slow and low..." I ordered a latte from the counter girl who was looking very cute and alternative. Stood up there and waited for it in a slightly concealed nervous panic all the while watching reactions of people coming in the door upon seeing me. Not good, at least I don't think - no looks of disgust but many WTF looks and, my favorite, the deer in headlights.
At about 10:30 we headed to Neighbors which is this great club here. It's a GLBT club (whatever that means) but it's so much fun and the house DJ is gifted. There were plenty of straight people there just to dance. We had so much fun. By this point it also occurred to me that, at least at the club, everyone knew and they didn't care. I think part of why I felt uncomfortable was that I way overdressed to avoid looking hoochie. I looked like I was heading into a board room instead of a night club. What's out of place in this picture? I'll post a pic in the gallery later.
Among the funniest moments was when this GG little barbie blond girl bounced by. Sitting on our side of the dance floor was us and this group of GGs (possibly lesbian) with two FTMs (or girls that really just like looking drab:)). When Barbie strolled past the whole row instantly got catty! It was the funniest thing I've seen.
I don't think I fooled anyone all night; some just may not have cared enough to notice. And no one said anything except a GG bartender at the club who told me I looked adorable. I think I might be a scary or, at least, intimidating figure male or female. It's hard being a giant among women but it's fun!
Thank you all for the encouragement,
-b
I went out in public for my first time last night. I got read more times than I can count including a chuckle from a passing GG. :(
So I met two tgirl friends in the GLBT neighborhood last night. I've been out on drives and even left a convenience store worker in dismay, but in a public, well lit coffee shop is where the evening started. Actually, it started six blocks from the coffee shop where I had to park and walk down busy streets. I tried my best to not lumber down the street, chin up and eyes front. Part of it is maybe because I never made eye contact with anyone passing but I have excellent peripheral vision and some reactions were painful. Eyes forward... chin up.... Arrive at the coffee shop, a pretty mainstream place, and, yeah, everybody knew what we were. None of the three of us attempted a female voice all night. The two girls I met were way more experienced at this than me and eventually I just picked up on the fact that they didn't care. So, why not, "Let it go, let yourself go, slow and low..." I ordered a latte from the counter girl who was looking very cute and alternative. Stood up there and waited for it in a slightly concealed nervous panic all the while watching reactions of people coming in the door upon seeing me. Not good, at least I don't think - no looks of disgust but many WTF looks and, my favorite, the deer in headlights.
At about 10:30 we headed to Neighbors which is this great club here. It's a GLBT club (whatever that means) but it's so much fun and the house DJ is gifted. There were plenty of straight people there just to dance. We had so much fun. By this point it also occurred to me that, at least at the club, everyone knew and they didn't care. I think part of why I felt uncomfortable was that I way overdressed to avoid looking hoochie. I looked like I was heading into a board room instead of a night club. What's out of place in this picture? I'll post a pic in the gallery later.
Among the funniest moments was when this GG little barbie blond girl bounced by. Sitting on our side of the dance floor was us and this group of GGs (possibly lesbian) with two FTMs (or girls that really just like looking drab:)). When Barbie strolled past the whole row instantly got catty! It was the funniest thing I've seen.
I don't think I fooled anyone all night; some just may not have cared enough to notice. And no one said anything except a GG bartender at the club who told me I looked adorable. I think I might be a scary or, at least, intimidating figure male or female. It's hard being a giant among women but it's fun!
Thank you all for the encouragement,
-b