Parenting

[lizbendalin]

As a newish father (my daughter is almost 6 months old), my wife and I find that we spend time talking with other parents about responsibilites that are shared in caring for our little ones. What we've noticed is that I seem to have a more involved role in the caring of my daughter than many of the other fathers that we have talked with.

I'm just curious if any of the rest of you parental types have had similar experiences? I'm wondering if more involved parenting is in someway related to being TG, or if it's simply a matter that I really love kids in general, and have wanted to be a parent my entire life.

Liz

[Karren H]

I think it has more to do with being a good person than being TG... Yeah maybe your more sensative and all but taking care of you kids and being there for them is just being a good parent...in my opinion!! I have always tried to do what's right for my kids....be there when they need me and help them and go to alllllll there events!!! It takes a lot of effort but its more than worth it!!!

So take care of them and teach them and enjoy them because time goes by way too quickley....

Love Karren

[Stephenie S]

I agree with Karen 100%. I don't think there is ANY conection between CDing and good parenting.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Kimkandy]

I'm wondering if more involved parenting is in someway related to being TG, or if it's simply a matter that I really love kids in general, and have wanted to be a parent my entire life.


I'd go with really loving kids and being a good parent, sounds good to me.

I haven't had any kids, but I did have some Siamese Cats, not the same really, but I loved my cats.

Kim

[soccervixen]

yep, I'm with others on this one - it's love which makes it work. Being involved with your kids at every level (I have 3 sons - 19, 16, 14), making sure you get into and understand their world, being real with them. Both parents bring their own perspectives / strengths / weaknesses into parenting. I couldn't imagine parenting without my wife - she is very intuitive and insightful. I don't think I have any more ability as a parent now that I am a CD. No link.

[Calliope]

I won't attempt to answer any philosophical issues but will share my situation. I have a 'high-testosterone' mate and, upon the birth of our 1st child (a daughter), the free market more or less decreed she kept her job while I became the stay-at-home parent. 'Housewifing' more or less fits my personality to begin with (a comment I once made in a Harper's Letter-to-the-Editor). We have 2 daughters now and I have found the moms in our neighborhood have accepted me pretty well as one of their kind. For me, the parenting and my dressing (TS) are very much interconnected.

My 7-year-old made a poster for our bathroom - it says "Vote For Crossdressers, they are grate looking!"

[kathy gg]

Hate to say this, but I know of one {more transexual , than crossdresser though} and he was a completely disinteresed parent and helper to his wife while their son was very young. I know as his son got older his involvement was a bit better, but he seems more into himself/herself than being a parent.

So, sorry I would never make that assumption that being tg will always equal more loving parent.

That said though my cding husband has my vote for super awesome best daddy in the universe to our little girl. He took an extended leave from work right after she was born to help me with her {3 months}. He enjoys spending time with her, talking to her, and is just completely enamored with her. I see alot of qualities in my husband that I saw in my dad and me's relationship and I am soo thankful that he is like my dad in that way. Eager to spend time and be home to see her and me too.

I can't imagine having to go through parenthood with any other person but my sweety.

[Michelia]

I once found myself not so long ago with my CDing actually pulling me away from my child. I would look forward to putting him in bed a little earlier or not joining him and his mom on an outing so I could spend my time with the girl in me. I do have to admit it was a very stressful time of my life. I probably needed the release.

I quickly came to the realization that if I outted myself to them, I could spend much more time with them. Of course, this was not an easy decision at first. But as I thought about it and read a little about it, it seemed the right thing to do. I was amazed by their understanding. My child is a 6 year old boy and has been totally cool with it and accepting. It is amazing how natural it has become for him. At the same time, he is very secure in his own gender. Actually, he is a very happy child. His daddy never hides from him and is there to do homework and play with him (en femme!) Of course we balance it out. We also bike together and go to the park and do all kinds of boy stuff too. But I have to say he really enjoys the softer side of his dad, especially when mom is working late.

So in my case, I feel I always tried my best at parenting anyway, but there does seem to be some benefit from my CDing in the sense that I am more nurturing and softer at times and I think he appreciates that. I also find it has brought us closer. He knows SOME of my secrets (the key is to be low key) and he in turn talks to me about everything. There is more trust.

I am lucky in that my SO is so totally accepting now. Sometimes it is scary because she would not mind if I out myself to the world. She wants me to be myself! And I really believe that the main reason why I may never do it is because I do not want to saddle my son with the teasing and social cost this would bring to him. His needs will always be more important than mine. But as he grows up, he may be OK with it. Time will tell.

Congratulations on your child.

Michelia

[Scotty]

My daughter always comes first above and beyond any of my needs.

[lizbendalin]

I'm not surprised by the responses. I was just curious if there was a connection. My gut instinct said that there was no connection, but I wasn't sure. I agree that being a CD is for the most part a very self-indulgent part of our personality, that I have had to find ways of balancing with the rest of my life, and can very easily see how it could be easily damaging to parenting if not being consciously observed. I guess I'm just glad and overjoyed to be a parent and want to be a part of the whole experience.

[Megan72]

You sound like just a good parent. A good father is involved and makes sure the children learn and grow in thier own lives. In my work I see plenty of the other types of parents and as long as you are concerned with your kids future and their current needs you are way ahead of them. Remember that they need a positive mazle role model.

[Kate Simmons]

It depends on who you are as a person and what your priorities are. My femme self always took a 'back seat" to my children while they were growing up. Now that they are grown, I have some time to myself. However, I see my marriage as being the important thing and will do my best to rekindle it and make it work even if it means giving up my femme self in the end. That's just me, however.:happy: Ericka/Rich