comming out

[wannabie]

I've been privately CDing for a while separating work and my private life.
This morning as I was dressing as Joanna before heading out as james, I was thinking, what if I came out to my employers; tell them that I crossdress and I want to freely express myself at work too.
I work in a casual environment and I would be discreet.


I'm not stupid and a bit of a coward, but what if I decided to do that? How should I approach it?

Any ideas?

[Calliope]

Any written stuff regarding job policy? You might want to be aware of your legal standing before taking the plunge.

[Karren H]

Any written stuff regarding job policy? You might want to be aware of your legal standing before taking the plunge.

Your company may have an EOE statement ....race, color, sexual orientation! But they may also have a dress code!! Written or unwritten! And even if you have those in your favor it still probably won't stop individuals from being opposed to the way you dress and causing a fuss..

Good luck on that one!! And let us know how it went!

Love Karren

[hotbobbie]

When i did it at my job i did a step at a time and not the full monty.

[hotbobbie]

Hi not sure if you got my message so i will send this way. Your having to deal with clients makes it tough. I do not have that problem. You can start by wearing say womans sweaters or, in my case womena jeans if ok on your job. I then went to the shoes. Also i am on hormons and am at a 36b so it is hard to hide those puppys know. Do not go all out as this could really be
shock to you fellow worker and employer. Take it a step at a time then rest and go to the next step but be sure just what you can and can't do as it could cost you your job.
Bobbie

[Caitlintgsd]

Even if there's state laws covering you in the state that you live, they can always find another reason to get rid of you if that's their goal.

[AprilMae]

Is crossdressing a diversion or is it a lifestyle change? If you still plan on living generally male, perhaps it's not a good idea. Also, what disruption may it cause for your coworkers? Expressing yourself is fin, but if it affects others negatively, it's not a good idea.

PS...Karren you are making me dizzy keeping up with your avatar pics.

[vbcdgrl]

I am retired now, but I know there was at least one full time CDer(maybe she's TG) working at my former workplace. I personally never considered working en femme, but, if I had, I would have gone all the way, no femme stuff under my drab clothes, no half femme.
I would ask for a meeting with the boss(in drab), and inform him/her of my desire. Make sure it's OK with the boss and there's no violation of company policy. You want to know where you stand with management BEFORE the fact. That way, you don't have to worry about reaction from narrow-minded co-workers.

Vikki

[wannabie]

Hi not sure if you got my message so i will send this way. Your having to deal with clients makes it tough. I do not have that problem. You can start by wearing say womans sweaters or, in my case womena jeans if ok on your job. I then went to the shoes. Also i am on hormons and am at a 36b so it is hard to hide those puppys know. Do not go all out as this could really be
shock to you fellow worker and employer. Take it a step at a time then rest and go to the next step but be sure just what you can and can't do as it could cost you your job.
Bobbie

Thanks for the advice. I have been wearing womens jeans for quite sometime (with and without designs) and I don't think no one notices, however I do get alot of complements on them. I just started seeing a doctor about going on hormones and she said that it will take a while before developing breast and hips. I guess thats one way to let them know.

about the shoes, what did you started wearing? the only thing I can think of wearing are boots and I doubt that you came in heals.

I don't know fully though. I generally dont want to live 24/7 as a woman but want to be percieved as one when I want to (if that makes sense)

[MJ]

Thanks for the advice. I have been wearing womens jeans for quite sometime (with and without designs) and I don't think no one notices, however I do get alot of complements on them.
I just started seeing a doctor about going on hormones and she said that it will take a while before developing breast and hips. I guess thats one way to let them know.

about the shoes, what did you started wearing? the only thing I can think of wearing are boots and I doubt that you came in heals.

I don't know fully though. I generally dont want to live 24/7 as a woman but want to be percieved as one when I want to (if that makes sense)

hi there ? you want to start hormones wow and you still want to be a guy..
i am not sure you can do that ? !!!
because it's not only your appearance that will change your emotions and your gender preference may change too
1. Brest start to hurt at about 5 week
2. at 10 to 12 weeks your emotions go from a guy 2 out of 10 to a woman 9.4 out of 10 ..make sure you have lots of tissues on hand
3 you could get a b cup in a year
4 your facial looks will also change real quick ?
not to mention your manhood " rip " but thats part of womanhood
if your doctor OK's you i would like to know ... hugs mj

[Glenda58]

Be careful we talk about this at the Crossroads Meeting Sat. Not only are you opening yourself up for harassment the company needs to figure out where and what restroom you will use. How do they address you when you are dress. And what about the days you come in as male then what. Just be careful

[Rachel Morley]

Even if your company states in it's mission statement that it's a company that doesn't discriminate because of race, color, creed, sexual orientation, or gender, be careful because I think I'm right in saying that when they say "gender" they mean transitioning TS not necessarily "just" a crossdresser who wants to wear feminine clothes at work. Maybe someone else who is more qualified than me can substantiate (or not) whatever the case maybe.

[wannabie]

hi there ? you want to start hormones wow and you still want to be a guy..
i am not sure you can do that ? !!!
because it's not only your appearance that will change your emotions and your gender preference may change too
1. Brest start to hurt at about 5 week
2. at 10 to 12 weeks your emotions go from a guy 2 out of 10 to a woman 9.4 out of 10 ..make sure you have lots of tissues on hand
3 you could get a b cup in a year
4 your facial looks will also change real quick ?
not to mention your manhood " rip " but thats part of womanhood
if your doctor OK's you i would like to know ... hugs mj

My doctor told me the risk and about the manhood thing. she also said that the changes will happen gradually.
I just got my perscription today for Progestrone and estrogen (injectable) and she said that permenant effects will happen after 3 months. thats how long I have to back out.

I want to look and feel more feminine in my everyday life but I don't think I'm ready to give up my manhood.

[Scotty]

My doctor told me the risk and about the manhood thing. she also said that the changes will happen gradually.
I just got my perscription today for Progestrone and estrogen (injectable) and she said that permenant effects will happen after 3 months. thats how long I have to back out.

I want to look and feel more feminine in my everyday life but I don't think I'm ready to give up my manhood.

Not sure about giving up this manhood thing, maybe my desires have slowed down a bit but they sure haven't gone away - but they are in total control - maybe 60% of full capacity - a hot lady walking by doesn't spur it anymore :D

When I took that month off from hormones, the mood was SEVERE so dont' go quitting them "suddenly", it's a gradual thing.

Your moods going ON them will roller coaster too - so the best advice that I learned is when you feel like yelling at someone, go sit down and hide for a while until the feeling passes - this lasts a few days.....

My breasts hurt again (it's been about 5 weeks too sine going back on) - I wear a bra now (Jockey no panty line) - wonderful support - get used to a bra because if you have a job that requires climbing stairs or squeezing through tight places you will feel it!!

Sports bras are great for heavy activity but the bra I have is thin and not 100% hide-able either - bras stretch tight and will show through your shirt - get used to wearing a light jacket or something if you are in an office!

I wear womens jeans to work, 550's and 501's - they're near identical.

Not sure about the facial part though, maybe mine changed and I'm not aware of it........

Lips will expand a bit and become more full.

If you do go off, breasts will reduce slightly of course but not go away.

And yes you can do hormones and still want to be a guy, you just won't want to be one as often! :) but in life you gotta do what you gotta do - ie being a man when you have to be.....

That's my humble opinion and experience.