What's a girl to do?

[amandak_tv]

Here's my dilemna - I'm sure it's something most of us have faced whether with this forum or online in general. Should I post my picture? I'm torn. On the one hand, I understand that it helps us connect to eachother when we can put a face with the name on the screen. I'd like to feel like I belong to the group here and it's difficult because I feel so anonymous. But on the other hand, that anonymity is hard to give up. I may just be paranoid, but I dread putting my picture out there and not knowing when (if ever - for the rest of my life) or where it will turn up.

What about it, ladies? Anyone ever posted a pic only to regret it later? Anyone think I'm just being a ninny? (I do sometimes) Does anyone care whether I (or anyone else) ever post a picture? Do you think (as I do) that the pictures help create identities (or personas) within our forum?

Am I putting too much thought into this?

:hiding:

[Scotty]

I've put pics up and I'm super shy and super fearful of being "out" ed....

But you can also do them in such a way as your whole face does not show, and with a wig - it's pretty hard to ID.

Not to mention I believe that forum is for members only? (Correct me if I'm wrong).

[gianna25]

Unless the person has joined the site and has more than 10 posts they can only see the MTF section...not the Pic or any other section. Thats first and foremost... I was and am still a little nervous but figure like everyone says if someone recognizes you on here what were they doing on here would be the first question to ask them....i mean you really dont find this place by accident and then you have to join to get into the Picture section so they would have a little expalining to do as well....So i say go for it...I did...
;-)

Good Luck
G

[Holly]

Actually, pictures posted in the Picture Gallery are only available to members, and pictures posted in the other private forums (GG, GM, etc.) are also only available to members. Avatars and pictures posted in the MtF, FtM, and other general interest forums are viewable by guests.

Amanda, seek your own comfort level. Yes, it is nice to be able to associate a face to a name, but it is absolutely NOT necessary to do so to be accepted here.

[Kristen Marie]

Post your picture! I still remember the very first time I ever posted mine and it was wonderful. No regrets....

[GG Vanya]

I've not posted a picture in the general access areas for privacy reasons. I have posted it for a short period of time in the GG section and then removed it. I've also shared my picture via email with a very select few that I've gotten to know on a more personal level here.

It's a little more difficult for the wives of the CDs to post pictures, as we don't have the luxury of appearing totally different from our every day lives. If someone we know (or work with) encountered my picture here, it would out my husband "by association".

This is a gigantic forum and ironically in the very first week after joining my husband and I discovered someone (another CD) who lives *very* close to us, and this is not a thriving metropolis by any stretch of the imagination.

Posting a picture is not a requirement. Just do what you feel comfortable with. Sure, some seem to encourage others to post pics, but I've never been one to let pressure sway my own decisions. :happy:

In any case, you'll find you can belong picture or no picture. I do! :D

[trannie T]

I haven't yet posted a photo because; I don't yet have a good one and I haven't figuered out how to do it. I hope to have one posted in a few weeks. If someone recognizes me so be it.

[RachelDenise]

I don't have a recent picture and I do worry about privacy issues. Those are the 2 main reasons for no picture for Rachel. (just love doing the third person thing!)

[JoAnnDallas]

I put my picture up here because, I wanted all of my sisters here to see what I look like. I don't think that if someone that knows of my maleself comes here, would put two and two together and come up with JoAnn. Most of us try and keep our femselves seperate with our maleselves.

It is up to you. If you feel good about posting your fem picture then do it, else it will not be a problem with anyone here if you did not.

[KateW]

This is also something I have struggled with. Having been a proud member of this fantastic forum for almost a year, it'd be great to be able to share my identity. I did make my first step towards this a few days ago when I shared my pic with a forum member through IM. :D

[Lisa Golightly]

Have I ever posed for a picture I regret *cough*... hold on I've not read that right... Have I ever posted a picture I regret... Sure I have... :) Some of my early pics were awful, but it was through encouragement of others that I kept doing them and hopefully improving them. Life is so short, if some corner of cyberspace will remember Lisa Golightly in photographic form... Well, darn it, I'd be mighty proud.... Be proud of who you are.

[Karren H]

Yeah your just a ninny!! Hehe. I had simular concerns but its like jumping on a hand gernade that doesn't go off.. Kind of a thrill and I didn't get killed.....so you do it again!! And again!! Posting pics of Karren, then Warren. Then Warren changing into Karren.... And al of a suden it doesn't matter!!! Well not to me atleast!!

So go for it or else change your ID to "ninny girl". Lol

Love Karren

[Cyndie]

I would love to get dressed and walk out the frint door and let the world meet Cyndie. But I can't do that because I don't think that the my world will accept Cyndie or wants to even try.

However a place like this forum is accepting of me being Cyndie and I enjoy posting pics here. As stated earlier, this is not a place we happen across, we choose to be here and try to help each other.

Not posting a pic is not a problem. We are all working through this one step or picture at a time.

TTFN

Cyndie

[kathy gg]

Well in the end it is yoru choice, and it can be changed later if you chicken out.

I am a gg, the pic you see is me. I have been online on my hubby's and mine's website for over 7 years. I have yet to have someone from *real life* say "hey kathy! you are on a crossdressing site!"

A long time ago I figured if someone from real life notices it is me, well then they obviously are at a crossdressing site and that is how they found me...which makes them two different things...a crossdresser/tg person, or an admirer....so they are also outing themself if they ever confront me!:p

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

my c/d b/f will put pics on once we can get to take sum good ones and then take it from there. i think its upto the individual really. from the GG's point i did put my pic on as my avator for a short while, but took it off after a day. i think on this forum everyones privacy is respected, and no-one is pushed into doing what they dont want. :thumbsup:

[tall_brianna]

I was also worried about that at first (and everything else). Eventually, I realized that a.) I'm never running for public office - the pay isn't good enough; b.) I've given away enough detail about my life here that a picture was unnecessary for someone to identify me; c.) the site's privacy measures are fairly good; and d.) I'm not sure I care who knows anymore. I have gained a lot of confidence in my appearance by posting a picture and the constructive feedback is also helpful.

You'll need to decide for yourself.

I don't think you need a picture to be accepted here. The old saying about judging a book by it's cover doesn't really hold water in interpersonal relations. You can tell a lot about someone by how they choose or are compelled to present themselves. Maybe just select an avatar that best represents how you see yourself.

[Charleen]

At first I was concerned, but not now. In the time I have been on here I have given enough clues that I think that if you put them together, you could walk into where I work and say Hi Lily. Beside, some of the people I work with met Lily Halloween as I showed up as Lily.My present avatar was taken that nite. I'm at the point in my life that even though I am not going to shout it from the roof tops, thoughI might have done that Halloween, I am not that concerned. My nails are always done, filigree hoops in my ears at all time, rings, bracelets, perfume, you get the idea, and if you do, so can others. That's me, and I know everyone is different and that's cool as well. The choice is personal. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Daizy Chains]

The first time is hard but once you do it there is a great sence of release
this is a safe forum and you are among friends.
in the end it is your choice.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

its up to you, but believe it or not I am really shy, and lack confidence yet I found when I pposted a photo here, I felt empowered, a sense of freedom...I'm too chicken to go out dressed (apart from a couple of drives) because of my lack of confidence...but hey I'm "out" in this town....Whats the worst that can happen...(pause)...oh yeah, hadn't thought of that dammit!!!!!

[Calliope]

There is a shared intimacy when you can see the photo, especially a face, of those you speak with. Maybe an immediate trust. On the other hand, there's girls who don't post their picture and, with time, you get familiar through the words. It's a matter of in or out of the closet and, of course, the confidence in one's appearance. (I like photos but I'm totally out. I do look forward to the day I can calm down and be less of a picture junkie.)

[Kate Simmons]

I was glad when I finally got a camera to show the folks here I'm exactly who I say I am. Have never regretted it yet.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Samantha B L]

Hiya Amandak,The pictures that many of the girls post are sexy and interesting but you don't have to post pictures for others to get some idea of what your personality is like and what your thoughts are.I'd post some pictures but I'm fairly new to computers and I don't have a printer or a digital camera.And you know,I like my avatar image even if it was sort of like"off the rack".This GG freind of mine made a lot of home movies on video cassette of me en femme like 15 and 20 years ago and I think these cassettes might have gotten carted away by total strangers over the years if they didn't end up in the trash or the garage at her sister's place later on. Anyway,I sometimes wonder if somebody will see these videos or not.Oh well,it doesn't matter.I'll eventually post a few pictures when I get the digital camera and the printer.A lot of my freinds know that I dress anyway, so it's cool.Yours,Samantha

[Cindylynn]

This group is the first people to ever see Cindee outside of my SO. I have never felt so free as the moment when i saw my picture in print. It truly changed my life in a second. It was like all the internal oppression of my life leading up to that day was released... Sudenly no more guilt.

I realize this may sound a little dramatic, but what do you expect...
I'm girly and I love myself

Cindee

[EricaCD]

If you are worried about it, don't do it - as you noted there is no way to put the genie back in the bottle. On the other hand, I'd be mindful not to overestimate the risks!

Erica

[Kathryn Philips]

I'm not scared. I don't personally know any crossdressers amongs my friends, relatives, colleagues, aquaintances or neighbours. If anyone ever recognises me from my posted pictures on this forum then they are likely to be closet crossdressers themselves. Wouldn't it be great to discover that someone I actually know is also a crossdresser. So girl, if you know who the man behind this woman is, make yourself known!!!

[Penny]

It would be difficult to associate the female appearing me with the male appearing me, even from my avitar. Think about this; some GG's have their avitar(not incognito) posted here and they freely admit be the SO of a crossdresser. I think there is a bigger risk there.

[MJ]

well it's up to you. you should be OK here. if anyone finds out just ask why they were here.. but it's up to when you feel right about it then go a head

[MissAlyssa]

or you can simply half do it a good cam angle and the right distance the right positon and boom just look at the avatar over there one of my first pics I ever took totaly horrible but its nice for what it does. It gives you my overall apperence minus the eye to eye i've seen others who does great pics like that but I don't have that kinda expertise:tongueout :devil: :devil: :tongueout

[amandak_tv]

Thanks to everyone for weighing in. I appreciate the reassurance from those of you who say that it isn't necessary in order to be a part of the group here. I also appreciate the encouragement from those of you who say to post my pics because of the good experiences you have had posting yours. Mostly, I think I appreciate the advice I got from several of you who say to do what makes me comfortable. For now what makes me comfortable is hiding my face - it makes me sad, but comfortable.

I guess it also makes me a ninny, right, Karren?

[sandra-leigh]

What about it, ladies? Anyone ever posted a pic only to regret it later?

It took me quite some time to get comfortable enough to be photographed for the club newsletter and web site. Even now I don't allow it very often -- not unless I'm in full femme, wig included.

I go out in public part-femme, skirt or dress or even just blouse and forms, all without wig -- but then people just see me in passing. I'm not comfortable about posting pictures in which my face is recognizable as my male face. A fair number of people who have seen me in drab and then en femme quickly recognize me en femme even with wig, so my face must be somehow distinctive enough (though it isn't exceptional in any way I can think of.)

[sandra-leigh]

Unless the person has joined the site and has more than 10 posts they can only see the MTF section...not the Pic or any other section.

Note by the way that the MTF section is indexed by Google, or at least has been in the past.
For example, my "recipe to stop crossdressing" thread is indexed, though a lot of my other posts are as readily found.

[kerrianna]

For now my avatar is way cuter than me so that's how I want everyone to know me :heehee: .

I think posting pics is a very personal decision. I used to be really careful of my privacy but lately have posted on other sites or sent some pretty incriminating pics to people I am blindly trusting (no, you don't want to see them here). If they come back to haunt me so be it, although you hear, esp with young people, about that happening with prospective employers etc. If your personal info is non-identifiable here it really reduces the chances of someone finding you by a Google search or something. Pics posted here are easy for any member to copy so you do have to trust everyone who becomes a member to not willfully or accidently release your pic to the greater world.

Having said that, posting a pic is a liberating experience, quite exciting (NO, you don't want to see mine here! :nono: ) because you are saying "so what? this is me! :GD:" You can always be creative with how much you show and still take a good pic. But I wouldn't expect anyone to post a pic and I don't expect them to have me post a pic. If you tell us about something interesting we are sometimes curious to see, but it doesn't mean we get to see. :battingeyelashes: