The First Time

[CaptLex]

No, not that first time . . . although that would probably make a good discussion too. :heehee: I was wondering about the first time that you realized you were not quite what other people thought you were - your earliest memory of it. In other words, when did you first get it that you either were in the wrong body, had another side to you or fell somewhere else on the CD, TS, TG, Intersexed, Genderqueer, etc. spectrum. (I hope I worded that right). The question is open to all.

I've mentioned this before, but (in case you missed it) here it goes again: my earliest memory is when I was 4-1/2 years old in Kindergarten. I was upset because I wanted to play with the boys (who were playing with trucks and cars) and the teacher wouldn't let me. She made me play with the girls in a play kitchen and I hated it. There was a little boy (I wonder what became of him) who tried to play with the girls and she wouldn't let him do that either. Every day he and I tried, and every day she'd stop us. One day she finally relented and let us play wherever we wanted, but it was just for that one day. I remember thinking it would be one of many minor victories (okay, so I was a bit dramatic for a kid). I knew who I was then, but was made to doubt it for many years before that kid came out to play again.

Let that be a lesson to me . . . never doubt the kid again. :tongueout Anyone else?

[Ryan]

I remember being four or five, and having been told at school that I was a girl :( I then went home, asked my Mam if I was a boy or a girl. She said that I was a girl, and I got upset and said it wasn't fair and that I wanted to be a boy. She told me that I couldn't be a boy and thats that :( I started to cry and get angry aswel :( Thats my first memory of anything to do with me being a tranny.

[Kate Simmons]

When I was in Kindergarten, they had a little "play house" in the classroom where kids pretended to be grownups. I was frustrated when they told me I couldn't be the "Mommy" and take care of the "babies" and fix dinner, etc. I had to be the man and do "Daddy" things. This frustrated me to no end and I realized at that time, I was "different" in my desires than the other boys who did what they were told and fulfilled their assigned role. Talk about indoctrination. I determined right then at that early age I wouldn't let anyone dictate to me how I would act,even if I had to put up a "facade" and pretend to act in a certain way. I was my "own person" in my heart at least always.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Clare]

The question is open to all.Ok, I don't visit this side of the fence often, but i'll duck in quickly for this thread.

I guess my earliest memory of being different was about age 8. It was during a dress-up time with a girl in her room from next door who was about two years older than me. I can distinctly remember this activity 35 years later, so it must have been a watershed moment in my crossdressing history!

[Daizy Chains]

I was three or four i tried on one of my sisters dress's and never looked back i was hooked only problem was it was to small and i could not get it off again
i had to ask my mom to help me. out'ed on the first atempt!!!!

[gerdaberlin]

:happy: I love it! getting caught at the 1st attempt! I love it!:heehee:

[Jayson]

Can somebody tells me how does this function?Cause I`ve read some of your stories and now would like to share with you some of my stories too.

Jayson.

[Evert]

I must have been 4 or 5.. I went to the cinema with a group (only boys... and me) because it was Mike's his birthday. On the way back everyone pulled his shirt off because it was to hot. when my mom saw me she said I was a girl and I shouldnt walk without my shirt outside. I was really pissed then. :P

[gennee]

I always thought that I was different. Didn't know why, though. I wasn't stressed over it and lived a normal life. Then about 1 1/2 years ago, it all became crystal clear. I am a crossdresser, transgender, androgyne, with a little of a queer bent. How's that for a mixed bag?

Gennee

[Felix]

I guess I was about 8yrs old and I knew there was somethin different about me then. I was a right tomboy but I wanted to do everything like a boy :o I'll let ya use ya imagination on that one. I couldn't talk to anybody about what was in my head and I knew I liked girls even then. The problems came when I got to about 11 or twelve I really liked girls and told my mum she was like oh no way and banned me from hangin with my gay friend. I was still a tomboy but thought this won't get me anywhere so I'd better go straight. So I firmly put the lid on any thoughts of women and went along the straight road with great difficulty. I have told the rest of that story on here. Now I am 40 and I came out as lesbian 5.5yrs ago and the lid seems to be flying off now in terms of my gender. That's why I'm here!! Felix xx :hugs:

[tekla west]

I was wondering about the first time that you realized you were not quite what other people thought you were

- right about when I first started to meet other people.

[kerrianna]

As I've mentioned elsewhere too, I was about 4 or 5 and wanted a doll for Christmas, and my mom said "dolls are for girls". I distinctly recall standing by myself in our driveway sobbing out loud "I wish I had been born a girl!"
(I did get the doll, bless 'em) :p
A few years later there I was playing 'dress-up' with the neighbour and outing myself on the street. :heehee:

[Lisa Golightly]

When my hormones went mental at 13 and I developed breasts... I wasn't quite 100% alpha before that, but that was when my head said girl, my body came out in sympathy, I met my first bunch of doctors that didn't have a clue, and at 16 dressed in public and people didn't stare at my chest for the wrong reasons for the first time in 3 years... :)

[myMichelle]

I, too, knew that I was somehow "different" from other little boys by about age six. I was probably a teenager before I really began to give my differences much thought. I can recall a couple of cute real life stories, though:

On my very first day in the first grade, it came time to go to the restroom. The class walked out into the hallway, where the boys lined up near the entrance to the boy's restroom and the girls formed a line near the entrance to the girl's restroom...Not knowing the difference between the two, I got in line with the girls and stayed there until the teacher made me move into the boy's line...

I went to a Catholic grade school. In the second grade, we were all given a rosary. The girls got a pink one, and the boys got a blue one. The first thing I did was trade rosaries with a girl who wanted a blue one! (I think I still have my pink rosary tucked away somewhere with a bunch of stuff from my childhood.) And, to make things even more interesting, the girl I traded rosaries with was named, you guessed it, Michelle!

Were these instances tell-tale signs of things to come? who knows, but I remembner them either way.

[Julie York]

(I did get the doll, bless 'em) :p



It's nothing o.k. OK!!!





Just something in my eye.




Awwwwwww

[Shadowls]

kinygarden for me also. i was the girl that "let" the guys play the mommy and me be daddy and then we would traid roles

[Kimberley]

I cant ever remember not thinking it was all wrong. The trouble was I wasnt encouraged to conform to the gender role, I was forced to; sometimes with corporal punishment. Not news here except to maybe some of the newer members. All in all, it left some lasting scars that I am still trying to reconcile today some 5 decades later.

[Taylor105]

The youngest I remember was about five when I wanted to pee standing up and by golly I had all kinds of methods. lol The worst was actually standing on the toilet seat because I was too short to straddle it. It made for quite the splash. Doh!!

[boi_0h]

I was probably 5-ish, I got punished for trying to stand to pee like my buddies, and walking around without my shirt on and in shorts to emulate my dad walking around in his boxers. Then I ignored it/faked femininity until after i graduated high school.

[John]

I was wondering about the first time that you realized you were not quite what other people thought you were

- right about when I first started to meet other people.

Seams I'm not the only one then :heehee:

I always wanted to go round topless like the boys when I was little too. Not tham most people objected, I had short hair and most people thought I was a boy (used to freak people out, me walking into the ladies).

[Dasein9]

My first memory of it causing dissonance is in kindergarten. It was in Panama, and we were learning to do a traditional Panamanian dance. The girls all had to hold an imaginary long skirt to one side, and the boys folded their arms along the small of their backs. I didn't think, just put my arms on my back, and was corrected. Since we were all in shorts and t-shirts, it seemed pretty dumb to me.

Around the same age, I saw a picture of myself in a two-piece bathing suit. I'd always liked it because I got to go in the pool or the sprinkler while wearing it. But I saw the picture, and thought, "Hey, that's a girl's suit!" Never wanted to wear it again.

[MJ]

well good question i was 5 when i kinda new some was not quite right. but at six years i knew, and had to deal with it

[Casey Morgan]

I don't remember *when* exactly. That's one of those things that is forgotten but hopefully not gone, if you get what I mean. All I remember anymore is being in choir rehearsal when I was 13 and changing Don't Cry Out Loud to For Cryin' Out Loud. I remember thinking I had finally found my theme song, something to express how I had been feeling for "some time/years". So I must have been about 11 or maybe 10 when I realized I wasn't quite like the other guys.

[happyfish]

Maybe about a month ago. >.> I'm not the type to think much about myself, if that makes much sense. I didn't really realize that people felt any differently than I do. I suppose I did, but not in a way that I really acknowledged anything to myself. I've never analyzed the way that I think or the way that I act in order to see if I act 'male' or 'female.' I act the way that I act, and if you don't like it then I'll make some diplomatic not-answer and keep doing things the way that I've always done.
So um, yes. About a month ago I realized that I actually want to act on my "I sometimes feel sort of male" feelings. It's kind of terrifying, but in a very exciting sort of way.
And yes, I'm new. :hiding:

[kerrianna]

Maybe about a month ago. >.> I'm not the type to think much about myself, if that makes much sense. I didn't really realize that people felt any differently than I do. I suppose I did, but not in a way that I really acknowledged anything to myself. I've never analyzed the way that I think or the way that I act in order to see if I act 'male' or 'female.' I act the way that I act, and if you don't like it then I'll make some diplomatic not-answer and keep doing things the way that I've always done.
So um, yes. About a month ago I realized that I actually want to act on my "I sometimes feel sort of male" feelings. It's kind of terrifying, but in a very exciting sort of way.
And yes, I'm new. :hiding:

Hi happyfish, I hope you come out from behind that sofa and introduce yourself on the New Member Introduction section. In any case welcome, eh? :hugs:

[bi_weird]

YaY happyfish! Love the screenname!
Hello and welcome to the boards! This is an awesome place to explore yourself, and it works pretty well for goofing off and having a good time while avoiding homework also. So yes, come in, sit down, have a cookie, and tell us about yourself.

[CaptLex]

Hey, Happyfish . . . welcome. :welcom: Glad to have you here. Relax, grab a beer and enjoy! Hope you'll read through the threads and find answers to any questions or concerns you might have. Would love to know more about you, and feel free to ask anything about us too. If you'd like, you can introduce yourself in the new members thread (so we don't take this one off track). BTW, I LOVE your avatar . . . Mine! :heehee:

[ZenFrost]

I remember in third grade, kids would often ask me whether I was a boy or a girl and I remember being so happy to tell them that I was a boy. I also remember long before then, loving to play with some of my brother's toys.